Hunter (Broken Bad Boys 1): A New Adult Bad Boy Romance (4 page)

“Lizzy.” He kneels in front of me, his blurry outline still imposing. “Maybe you should go home.”

“No, I’m okay.” I stay seated, not moving one bit. If I don’t move, the darkness won’t take me.

“If that is what you want to believe.” I’m not sure I’m supposed to have heard those mumbled words as blurry Hunter walks off.

If that is what I want to believe?
No, it’s what I want
him
to believe. I don’t want to worry him, don’t want to scare him. But he seems unfazed by most things I do, too unfazed to be normal.

* * *

I
don’t hear
him for a while and as the faint feeling fades, the worry is growing. “Hunter?” I call out for him, but he doesn’t answer. I push myself up, not wanting to be vulnerable in a place I don’t know. I slowly stand up, blinking to stop the spinning. When the world is back to normal, I look around, starting to worry. No Hunter, no one in the whole square.

I take up my bag and search for my phone, wanting to call someone to pick me up, but then Hunter reappears at the side of my vision.

“I was getting something to eat. I was hungry,” he explains as he holds out a paper bag and sits on the bench. “Come, you must be hungry too.” Nothing that he’s saying or doing betrays what he feels about what just happened. He nearly saw me faint, and all he did was buy food?

I shake my head but he keeps pointing to the other side of the bench, so I sit down too.

He grabs a huge sandwich from the bag and then hands me the bag. “I hope you like it.” I don’t normally accept food from just anyone, but at the same time, it would look bad if I didn’t accept it.

I look at him, worried about what he got me, but then he points towards the bag, urging me to look in. In the bag there is a small clear box with fruit. Pineapple, mango, grapes and a few ones I don’t immediately recognize, generic light colored fruits like apple or pear. I’m glad that he didn’t get me a sandwich too, but still, this is too much for me, too much to eat. And in front of Hunter too… I can’t eat in front of strangers. I smile though, trying to make it as genuine as possible, and take the box from the bag. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Hunter happily eats away at his sandwich and looks around, ignoring me.

I eye him for a while longer, and then look at the tub in my hands. I know I should at least eat
something,
or I might actually faint. I really don’t want to, but I can’t get around eating with Hunter right next to me. Walking away now would be rude and I really do need to eat. I open the foil lid of the top a slight bit, just enough to take a grape from the box. I bite the grape in half, checking for seeds, when I don’t find them, I chew on the half in my mouth. Carefully chewing, grinding everything into tiny pieces, taking just long enough time, not too long, not too short. When I’m finished, I take a swig of water and then look at the other half. I bite it in half again, chewing on it carefully.

From the corner of my eyes I see Hunter look at me and I turn my head, but he quickly looks away. Ugh, this is why I hate eating in public. People
stare
. Like they’ve never seen someone eat before…

I put the last bit of the grape into my mouth and put the box down on the bench next to me. I don’t like being looked at while eating. I refuse to eat when people stare at me.

I
look away from Lizzy
. Someone told me years ago that some people hate being looked at when they eat—they feel like you’re judging them. I don’t remember who said it, or why, but I guess Lizzy is one of those people. She is not going to eat like this, and I try to come up with a new plan, a way to distract both me and her.

I look at the dragon in the middle of the square, remember what I was doing and thinking when I made it. It takes me a moment before I realize I’m starting to babble, filling the silence, keeping Lizzy’s attention on me instead of her food. I keep out the part about Joey, as he was going through one of his bad stages at the time. I also keep out the crappy ending—his death, just days before the dragon was revealed. The dragon he loved so much that he had spent weeks watching me create it, that he looked forward to watching being put together piece by piece as his body broke down. I keep babbling, the words flowing out, and from the corner of my eyes I watch Lizzy eat a few more pieces of fruit. Though eating is too big a word for what she is doing—it’s more like nibbling, like a small mouse. She’s so focused on listening to my story that she doesn’t even realize it.

When we came down the stairs of the college building and the blood drained from her face, I suspected that something was up. But the episode just now confirmed for me that she probably hadn’t eaten yet today—low blood sugar. With her slim form, I’m not that surprised. Girls who look that skinny often skip breakfast.

“Hunter?” Lizzy is looking at me and then reaches out, though she pulls her hand back before she touches me. “Thank you.” She looks sincere, though I’m not sure why.

I blink. “For what?”

“For getting me something to eat. That was really nice of you.” Lizzy puts the box back into the bag.

I try to smile, hoping it seems genuine. “No problem.” We’re just playing parts, exchanging niceties without meaning, and we both know it. We both know that she didn’t eat a lot and that she’s trying to hide it. “Where do you want to go next?”

“Ehh.” She checks her phone. “I don’t know, it’s still early.” She looks around, standing up and moving around the square, looking at the art on the ground and the walls.

I stay seated, letting her do what she wants, just observing her movements, the way she sways as she moves and how her hair swishes around her lower back. I want to draw her, but I’m too lazy to hunt around for pen and paper in my bag, and I don’t think she would appreciate if I put her on a wall for everyone to see. I close my eyes, basking in the sun, relaxing as the sounds from all around me make me sleepy.

“I think I want to go home.” Lizzy is right next to me and I startle.

I stare at her for a moment, wanting to say something, but in the time I had my eyes closed, a darkness has taken over her eyes. She looks tense, her shoulders are hunched and she avoids my gaze. I want to make that darkness in her eyes go away, but I don’t have a clue how to. “Let’s go then.”

I stand and I’m suddenly so close to her that I can smell her sweet orange scent. If I even move one bit, I could kiss her hair. God, she smells good. I step back and try to smile at her again. No matter how tempting it is, that would not be a good idea. “This way.”

* * *

“
W
ill you get home okay
?” We stand at the bus station near where her bus will leave.

“I’ll be fine. I’m not a little girl.” She grins, baring her teeth, but there is no spark in her eyes. Which somehow worries me, even though it could simply be exhaustion, because I feel that too.

“Okay. Just wanted to make sure.” I rub my arms for a moment, then run my fingers through my hair.

“If you don’t leave now you’ll miss your bus.” Lizzy points towards the bus stop where the bus to the college campus will leave soon.

I nod. I want to stay here, wait for her to leave, but I know that I’m crowding her and it also means that my trip will take half an hour longer. “See you tomorrow?” I reach out to her, then just leave my hand outstretched.

Lizzy looks at my hand, my face, and then back to my hand. At last, she shakes it. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class.” There is a fleeting smile before she turns and walks to her bus stop.

Now there is nothing more for me to do than get to my own bus stop. I sprint as I see the time, and the door of the bus is about to close when I reach it. I walk through the aisle, aware of the people staring at me as I pass.
The crazy one. The insane one. The damaged one. The fighter.
I know what people say about me, about who I am, what I do. I wish I could fight it, but it’s true. After Tessa’s crash, I went off the rails. Even before that I had a reputation for being a fighter, but after that I… I stopped caring for so long.

I sit down and stare out of the window, ignoring everyone around me.

The city passes me by, the roads familiar, though unfamiliar at the same time. I’m not used to riding the bus anywhere. For the past five years I’ve gotten everywhere by bike.
Tessa by my side.
I put my hand over my chest, the pain still stinging and only ever so slowly fading. I don’t close my eyes, I can’t close my eyes. I don’t want to see the yellow bike wrapped around the tree, Tessa stuck in the mangled mess.

I grip the chair, squeezing so hard that it hurts. Move on, moving on. Don’t linger there, or the darkness will overtake me.

The campus comes into view and I stand, wanting off the bus. Now.

I jump out of the bus, my face back to being plain. I walk towards my bike, and see Tamara come out of the art building. I want to turn around, but she already notices me.

“Hunter,” Tamara calls out for me, and I walk to her, a smile on my face.

“Hi. Just grabbing my bike.” I point to it.
What a stupid thing to say.

Tamara frowns, confused, but then nods. “Sure. I just wanted to check with you that it was okay.”

“That what was okay?” I’m confused now. Did I miss something?

“I sort of sprang the whole moving to a different class onto you. I wanted to make sure it was okay. I didn’t have time to talk to you about it beforehand.” She walks with me to my bike, talking while I unlock the bike.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I get why you had to do it.” I put the helmet onto the bike and put the lock away.

“Good. I don’t want to make this all harder for you than I have to. I thought that this might be a better idea than having you in the class.” Tamara puts her hand on the bike. “This one is different from the one you had before the summer.”

I flinch. That came totally out of nowhere and I’m definitely not ready to talk about that just yet.

Tamara pulls her hand away, looking at my face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t pry.”

“It’s just…” I breathe in deeply and let out a short sigh. “Too many memories. I’d had that bike since I was still in high school. I needed a change.” I needed to break from my past before it broke me, broke me even more.

She steps aside, nodding, her eyes clouded. “I get it. Anyway, good luck tomorrow. I need to get going to the workshop before people break it down.”

“Break it down?” I grin, glad for the change of topic. “Are they that bad?”

She looks to the edge of the campus, her eyes further away. “You don’t wanna know what those photographers get up to sometimes. Nothing has been broken, yet, but it’s not all safe. The things they build to take the perfect pictures…” She sighs as she looks back at me. “You can come with me if you want to.”

“Nah, I’ve got to get to my parents’. Mondays I work at the horse riding school.” I put the helmet on as Tamara nods.

“Have fun. I’ll see you soon.” She steps back as I get onto the bike.

I kickstart it and take off, the sudden movement making my heart race, making me feel alive. I don’t feel like working at the riding school today, but it’s a good way to keep busy and I think my parents really like it when I’m there with them. I turn off the car park and make my way to the edge of town.

* * *

I
speed
-walk through the hallway. I’m so fucking late for class. I stayed over at my parents’, as I often do, and when I woke up this morning, I suddenly felt the urge to draw. That hasn’t happened to me in a long time. I think going back to classes may have triggered something, at least a little bit. I check the numbers over the doors. I should be nearly there. I look around, but the hallways are quiet. I got so wrapped up in drawing that I lost track of time, and now I need to hurry.

I open the door and all eyes are on me.
Great.

“Ah, Hunter. How nice of you to finally join us. Please take a seat as I explain what we’re going to do this semester.” Prof Cartwright turns back to the board behind him, clicking on a few things and then pulling up a document.

I quickly sit down in the only empty chair, right next to Lizzy. She looks at me for a moment but then looks back at the professor. Okay, way to be ignored.

“The first couple of weeks will be to test your skills, and to improve where needed. The final assignment will be a portrait of a classmate. I will announce the pairs at the halfway point of the semester. This will be based on individual strengths and skills. The task will be to portray the person and their dreams. You can go big, you can go small, but it has to be creative.” He turns back to the class. “Any questions?”

Everybody stays quiet. I don’t think there is much to ask right now. I know that Professor Cartwright is usually fair when grading and his classes are interesting. Or, at least, they were last year.

“Okay. Let’s get the supplies out. I’ve got a couple of items laid out and I want you to draw them, paying close attention to shadows and details.” He walks to the middle of the room and pulls a piece of cloth off a table. On the table there is a glass bottle, a creepy doll, a box of matches and a book. “Go ahead.” He steps away and then turns to the class. “You’ve got until the end of the class, so… about three hours.”

I take my supplies from my bag. Luckily I was using them just now, or I might have forgotten them in all the rush to get here. I look at the objects, at their angles, at the surfaces. So many things to consider. I slowly start to get to work, getting a feeling for what is going on.

When I take a peek at Lizzy, she is already working, concentrating as her pencils move over the page. She looks beautiful like this—the full concentration in her eyes, the decisive movements, her hair pulled back so that it won’t get in her way. It’s nice to really be able to see her when she’s not aware. I’d like to draw her like this, but I guess that’s not the task for today. I turn back to my paper as I realize Prof Cartwright is standing right next to me.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” His voice is soft, but I nod.

“I was distracted by something, working on my art. I won’t be late again.” I put pencil to paper and get back to work as he moves on to look at the work of another student. Conversation avoided.

Now I just need to get through this class.