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Her mother had once said to her that emotions not only tear you to shreds inside but they aged you, and you could say that on this advice Esther had based her life, because deep down she was a vain woman, and this had been proved, if only to herself, within the past few days.

When she had received the letter from the solicitor stating that her husband was seeking a divorce, the facade of years had cracked. She had read the letter at breakfast and she didn't remember leaving the table and getting upstairs into her room" but she did remember picking up the first thing she saw, which was a petticoat, and rending it from top to bottom.

The coaching of years had quickly cried a halt to the fury of her hands, but not to her mind. She had sat pulling one finger after another listening to the knuckles cracking like castanets while startling vituperations frothed from her lips. Six months out of prison and he had found another woman! And in Fell- burn--he had gone back to that girl, that dirty slut. She had imagined he hadn't come back to the town after he had come out of prison or he would in some way have tried to get in touch with Gail. But the solicitor's letter was from Fellburn, so from that she gathered he was still here. And this fact alone disturbed her, for she couldn't imagine him being in the town all this time alAU lll/L Llyllly LU ^Ulitdl-L ^JdU.

It wasn't until this morning she had answered the letter, and to the effect that her husband knew her views on divorce and she wished to receive no further communication on the subject.

She had mentioned the matter to no one, not even her father, for she told herself there was no need, as nothing was going to come of it, and since the letter was posted her calm demeanour had taken control again, at least on the surface.

But now, here was John telling her something that was engendering rage even more fierce that the previous bout. She wouldn't believe it.

When she could speak she said just that to him, stuttering on the words.

"I I don't believe it. You've ... you've made a mistake. No. I can't believe it, I won't, I won't."

"Mother I Sit down." He took her by the shoulders and pressed her into a chair; then bending over her and staring into her face, he said,

"It's true, I've told you. For weeks now I've suspected our Terry was up to something because he's gone with her on Saturday, afternoons without a murmur; and you. said yourself she'd changed."

The perspiration was hanging in beads on her brow and around her lips, even her neck was running sweat, yet her flesh felt cold. She gulped as she said, "Robbie Dunn?"

"Robbie Dunn." John gritted his teeth on the name.

"There he was, waiting outside the home, and out they came and got into his car and drove away."

"But... but your father? You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Didn't I follow them? When they turned up Cooper's Lane I knew it led to a dead end to that old derelict house It used to be derelict, you should see it now."

"And you're sure it was Janet?"

He bared his teeth and the words sounded like a hiss.

"Yes. Yes, I've told you. She was standing with him watching the others sliding down the hill, the three of them were laughing and acting like lunatics."

She closed her eyes and began to pray, beseeching God to take this terrible anger away from her. Her fingers were plucking at each other, desirous again of rending something. With her eyes still closed she said, her voice beseeching now, "But, but

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"" " him ... be ... because you don't like him?"

"That's stupid reasoning." He straightened himself, pushed his shoulders back and drew his chin in.

"I told you, when they were going back to the house they kept way behind the others. I lost sight of them for a bit because I had, to move along the hedge but when I next saw them they had their arms around each other." Again he was talking through his teeth.

"If ever there was a two-faced little brat it's her. She goes around here looking like someone in a closed order, but if you could have seen her today, snuggling up to thaf^filthy little Jew. Ugh! I wanted to vomit. It was all I could do to stop myself from dashing out and knocking him silly."

"What... what time is it?" She had her head down.

"Ten-to-five."

"They should be here any minute; leave it to me." She raised her head now.

"Do you hear? Leave it to me." As she finished speaking there came to them the sound of the front door opening and she rose from the chair and walked round the couch to wards the fire and, turning, she stood with her back to it. She could always manage situations better standing on her feet.

Gail and Terry had learned to alter their expressions as soon as they entered the drive. They always came into the house soberly, Terry asuming an air of slight resentment, while Gail's expression suggested acceptance, iA begrudgingly. They hadn't planned their attitudes but they knew they were a necessary ex tension of the whole deception.

Today they found it harder than usual to put on their masks. Gail couldn't remember enjoying herself so much for years. That slide, and them all laughing, and the wonderful tea after, and Terry being amused and her father looking happy. Yes, he had looked happy. She must remember that, he was happy.

When he had first told her he wanted to marry Janet she had been amazed and frankly a little shocked. Janet who had worked for them, Janet who was a Jewess, Janet who was the mother of Robbie, and Robbie was .

Well, what was Robbie? A typical Jew, a market Jew, as John called him, brash, go-getting, com mon but behind it all, kind, thoughtful, a good friend, as he had proved to be to her father. If her dad married Janet it brother and sister. Neither of these facts appealed to her.

That was until her dad had taken her up the hill and had talked to her about things that she had never heard mention before, his early life where he had lived almost in the same house as Janet, and her own devotion to him, which he had been too blind to notice.

"Are you going to ask mother for a divorce?" she had said, and he answered, "Yes."

"Do you think she will?"

"I don't know; I doubt it."

"Then ... then what'll you do ?"

When he had said bluntly, "I'll live with Janet," she hadn't been shocked.

She knew that her mother must have received her father's application for the divorce earlier in the week but she had made no reference to it, she wouldn't. It was another shame-tinged secret to add to her martyrdom.

They had hung their things, in the cloakroom and together they entered the sitting-room and together they stopped just within the door and looked to where Esther was standing on the. hearth rug, and John at the head of the couch, both apparently waiting for them.

"Well, what are you standing there for? Are you afraid to come in?"

Terry blinked and glanced quickly at Gail, but Gail was staring across the room at her mother.

"Where've you been?" The question was addressed directly to Gail and before she answered it she felt Terry moving away from her side. If there was any lying to do he was going to let her do it; Terry hated upsets.

"You know where I've been, to see Gran," she said.

"And after?"

Gail slowly turned her gaze from her mother to John. So that was it, they knew. John had been snooping. Looking back at her mother, she said boldly, "You know all about it, so why ask."

"I want to hear you tell me where you went after visiting the home."

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"-&-- --r ---- -- -- -/ attitude, she knew, that always angered her mother, but that was a small issue now. And she walked towards the other end of the couch from John before saying, " Well, I don't suppose I can enlarge on what my dear brother has told you but I've been to see Dad. " As she looked into her mother's face she saw the bitterness swamp it like a tidal wave.

"You lying, cheating, little ...!" As Esther clenched her hands together her flow of words trailed away and Gail put in harshly, "Who made me lie and cheat? You did, you I Anyway, I've a right to see him, he's my father."

"You have no rights, as you say, you're under my care and protection"

"Don't be silly." The tone was scornful.

"You're talking as if we were early Victorians."

"Don't dare speak to me like that, do you hear?" Esther moved to the front of the couch, her body arched.

"I will not be spoken to in that manner."

"Well, don't talk nonsense. You can't tie me up, although you've had a jolly good try."

"Don't you make any mistake, my girl, I can tie you up; there's ways and means of tying silly girls like you up to protect them from men like him. "

Then like him 1 What do you mean? Men like him. " Gail's eyes slowly widened.

"You talk as if he was a mad beast or something. It's as if you had never known him. Anyway, I know now that if he had told the truth about why he hit grandfather he would never have been given the outrageous sentence. He let them put the wrong construction on it to save me any more worry and embarrassment. Yes, and to save your face from getting red. And it would have been red, wouldn't it, if the truth had come out about your dear father?"

Esther was beyond words; she could only stare at this daughter, who dared to recall the shocking incident that had wrecked their lives.

Even when Gail went on harshly, "But I know what's getting you now, it's the divorce, isn't it? You don't want him yourself and you don't want anyone else to have him, least of all Janet."

Esther couldn't speak, that was until John, looking at her, ^Am^^,

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It was evident to Gail that the matter of the divorce had come as surprise to John, but the association of Janet's name with her father was acting as an even greater shock to her mother. When Esther exclaimed again in a low voice, "Janet! Janet Dunn?" Gail felt a momentary feeling of pity for her because she was remembering how she felt when her father had broken the news to her.

"Is this true? He's asked for a divorce?" John's hand was out touching his mother's arm, trying to draw her attention towards him; but she didn't look at him as she said dully, "Yes, yes, it's true."

And now her face moved into a mirthless smile, her upper lip showing all her even teeth, and she nodded at Gail as she said, "And so he wants to marry Janet Dunn. Your father wants to marry Janet Dunn.

Well, he's sunk to the right level, but he'll never marry Janet Dunn, not while I'm alive."

Gail was staring at her mother as if hypnotised; The room was utterly quiet now until, her voice breaking the silence like a high whistle, she almost screamed, "Then he'll live with her. You can't stop him doing that."

The silence fell on them again, and during it Esther drew herself to her full height; she moistened her lips while the muscles of her face twitched and those in her neck stood out like cords. She was letting the silence say that the matter was closed. She had for the moment forgotten Robbie Dunn, but John hadn't, for now moving towards Gail he demanded, "And what about you and that Robbie Dunn, eh ?"

Gail stared at him. She was in no way intimidated by his attitude.

"And what about me and Robbie Dunn?" she asked, her eyes widening.

"You must be hard up for a fellow cheapening yourself with a dirty little Jew like him."

"Don't you dare call him a dirty little Jew." She even advanced a step towards him.

"He's got more in his little finger than you've got in your whole body.

It's jealousy that's always hit you with regards to Robbie, you're jealous of him."

"Oh my God 1'

and John went on laughing scornfully now, "You must be joking, jealous of that! The point is, I won't stand for a sister of mine necking in public with a little runt like ..."

" " You're lying I I've never . "

She had to force herself to say the word, "necked in public with him or anyone else."

"Look." He was yelling now.

"Face the fact that I saw you. I saw you with my own eyes today. My dear brother there'-he cast a swift threatening glance to where Terry was standing at the far side of the window--'my father and'--he paused-- 'his mistress were trotting on in front, but you two stayed behind, remember? And don't tell me you weren't necking."

Gail's mouth was hanging wide, her eyes stretched. She was remembering that she had stepped on to a frozen puddle in the field and had slipped, and Robbie had put his arm out and caught her and they had stood laughing together for a moment. She had felt odd, sort of excited at the close contact with him;

it was the first time he had touched her, he had never even helped her in or out of the car; and then, all of a sudden she had been close to him, pressed to his chest, her cheek near his chin, his breath, like white smoke, fanning her face. When he had released her she had been unable to speak, and he hadn't said anything either. But, necking I She defended herself harshly now, "I slipped; he stopped me from falling, that was all. Do you hear. THAT WAS ALL I " Oh, Lord, with the experience you've had lately I would have thought you'd have come up with a better one than that. " His tone was derisive, his eyes blazing.

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

"I know who I'm talking to, a low down sneak, that's who I'm talking to. You've always been a sneak, you always will, you couldn't be straight if you tried, even since you were small..."

"That's enough! That's enough!" Esther was holding up her hand; and once more she addressed herself solely to Gail.

"Listen to me," she said, her voice sounding strangely calm.

"I forbid you to see that boy. Do you hear? You are not to associate with him in any way. If you do I'll take steps ... legal steps to of court? "

"Ward of court!" Gail's voice was full of scorn; "Don't be so ridiculous. You know what you are? You're ludicrous. Now listens cos I'm going to tell you something." She was bending over the end of the couch, her body strained forward as if she was aiming to bring her face in contact with her mother's.