I Am a Star (6 page)

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Authors: Inge Auerbacher

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BOOK: I Am a Star
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A Place of
Darkness
 
 
O
ur destination was Terezin, or Theresienstadt as it was called in German, a concentration camp in Czechoslovakia about forty miles north of Prague. It was built in 1780 by Hapsburg Emperor Joseph II in memory of his mother Empress Maria Theresa. The garrison was abandoned by the military in the 1880s and was settled by civilians. By the late 1930s, Terezin was in a state of bad deterioration.
On October 10, 1941, Reinhard Heydrich, Adolf Eichmann, and other high-ranking Nazi officials selected Terezin as a transit camp for Jewish deportees before their extermination in the East. The Nazis masked the camp as a “model ghetto” for propaganda purposes. The first Jews sent there in November 1941 were from Czechoslovakia. They were followed next by the elderly from Germany and Austria who were not expected to live long anyway. Many prominent doctors and lawyers, decorated war veterans, and distinguished Jewish leaders, like Rabbi Leo Baeck from Germany, were sent to Terezin. Their immediate deportation East to the killing centers would have aroused suspicion. Eventually, Jews from all walks of life arrived at Terezin from Austria, the Netherlands, Denmark, and other European countries, including people whose parents were of mixed Jewish and Christian origin.
I remember a particular transport of at least one thousand children from Poland in the summer of 1943. They came dressed in rags and were all very thin and dirty; many were sick. All were ordered by the SS to remain in quarantine in a special area. Rumors spread that they came from Bialystok, Poland, and had seen their parents shot before their eyes. A short time later they were sent to the gas chambers in Auschwitz.
WALLS
Walls, walls, walls are eyeing us all around,
Silently absorbing each wailing sound.
Unlike Zion’s, where they are our soul,
Here even our thoughts are under control.
 
Walls covered by a grassy knoll,
Death-defying leapers take their toll.
The red brick demons stand very firm,
Quiet objects demanding their term.
 
Soldiers march on them to and fro,
Guarding people with no place to go.
These walls are closing in on me,
Dare I dream to climb them and flee?
Terezin consisted of huge brick barracks, underground cells and old broken-down houses. It was sealed off from the outside world by high walls, deep water-filled trenches, wooden fences, and barbed wire. Radio, telephone, and newspaper communication with the outside was strictly forbidden. On rare occasions, however, bits of war information leaked into the camp. These rumors were called “latrine talks,” because the prisoners exchanged news in the public bathrooms. Stories often changed in content as they spread through the camp.
It was also forbidden for women to give birth, but a few hundred children were born during the years I was there. Breaking this rule usually meant immediate shipment to the East for both mother and child. Yet, miraculously a handful of these babies survived the war in Terezin.
Terezin.
The walls and trenches surrounding Terezin.
Backyard of the disabled veterans quarters in which we lived.
Terezin was originally built to house 7,000 people, but at times the camp was crowded with 60,000 prisoners. A Jewish Council of Elders was set up to regulate internal affairs. This group was chaired by the Judenaeltester, or chief of elders. The council’s most important duty was to draw up lists of inmates for deportation to the East, following SS instructions. Terezin was under the absolute rule of a Nazi SS commandant. Between 1941 and 1945, a total of 140,000 people were sent to Terezin; 88,000 of them were shipped to the killing centers of the East; and 35,000 died of malnutrition or disease in Terezin.
Prison blocks at the Small Fortress in Terezin.
A short distance from the large fortress, where I was, across the Ohre River was a smaller fortress called Kleine Festung. This also belonged to the Terezin complex, but it was a military prison and had its own SS commandant. It also served as a place of extra punishment for any misconduct we in the large fortress might commit. Our crimes were things like stealing potatoes, or being caught drawing a picture of the “real” conditions of the camp. The small fortress had solitary confinement cells and an area for firing squads. It was a brutal place that was feared as much as being sent to the East.
Terezin was a gruesome place. The inhuman conditions brought out the best and worst behavior in people. Hunger makes people selfish and irritable. After our arrival at Terezin we went through the Schleuse, a body-and-belongings search area in an underground cell. After the search for valuables we were sent to the attic of the Dresden Fortress, which was a particularly large brick army barrack containing exercise courtyards and gaping archways. This is where the “Angel in Hell”—Mrs. Rinder, a Czech woman—found us lying on the bare stone floor. She asked someone whether there was a child in the newly arrived transport. Fingers pointed towards me.
AN ANGEL IN HELL
We searched the dump for each potato peeling,
Stole from the dead without guilt or feeling.
Nothing seemed to change; time stood still,
Was there anyone left with good will?
 
To this planet of shadow and despair,
An angel came to give help and care.
One hand was clutched by her little son,
She wanted to mother everyone.
 
Through time she moved on unseen wings,
Bearing food and other needed things.
This stranger reached out with heart and hands,
Asking no thanks, or making demands.
 
Both would never leave the abyss,
Or be touched again by life’s kiss.
I search my heart for an answer, Why, why?
Where was justice, why their sentence to die?
Hundreds of people were moving hopelessly in this dark, airless, hot area. They stumbled over the covered dead bodies and got lost in the mass of new arrivals. Mrs. Rinder had arrived earlier in Terezin with her husband and young son Tommy. This good lady, whom we had never met before, gave me a mattress by dividing her son’s mattress in half. Mr. Rinder was fortunate to work in one of the community kitchens and therefore was able to share some extra food with us at times. A deep friendship developed between us until the fall of 1944, when the entire Rinder family was deported to Auschwitz and death in the gas chambers.
Under these terrible conditions, some people lost the will to live and took their own lives. A few days after our arrival in Terezin, my father saw a man starting to jump from an attic opening of the Dresden Fortress. Papa managed to grab the man’s legs and pull him back inside. To his amazement, it was an old man from our transport. Papa spoke encouraging words to him and made him promise not to repeat this act. The next morning a broken body lay lifeless in the fortress courtyard. Papa identified him. It was the same old man.
Sleeping quarters at Terezin.

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