I don't Wear Sunscreen (11 page)

“
It was pitch dark when I
walked out of the station holding Priyanka’s hand, and suddenly
there was a tiny spark of fire. It was a matchstick burning. Only
then I realized that there was a person sitting right there, which
freaked the hell out of me,” Laksha explained her most frightening
moments to the doctor. It was quite unbearable to her parents, so
much so that they couldn’t listen anymore and walked
away.

When pictures of Priyanka had Saurav
closely knit to her like a conjoined twin, she was literally broken
into pieces. Though, she promised not to reveal the identity,
still, the incident never turned fruitful, but she lost her job,
which was never a part of the agenda she ever planned. The twists
and turns of life, like the slides in a swimming pool, is quite
interesting indeed. You may never know how many turns it has or
where it will direct you, and the ‘U’ turns and ‘S’ turns will
ultimately push you into the great wide water that is destined for
you. So let life unfold as it is supposed to be.

The adrenaline responses and
over-reactions to even a tiny sound left Laksha in great panic. Her
stress hormones were tested; the Dexamethasone Suppression Test
proved the severity of her PTSD. Right from the stress reaction to
her immunity, mood swings and emotions, even her digestion left her
unable to cope.

“
Admit her, she has to go
through many treatments and we don’t have any prognosis just now,
it might take few months to a few years for her to recover.” The
doctor said while scribbling some medication names on Lakha’s
prescription.

“
No, I am taking her back,”
Laksha’s mom said, to which the doctor and other two nurses didn’t
react instantly.

“
Do you understand what I am
trying to convey?” the doctor asked.

“
Yes, I do, but I am opting
out and taking her home,” she said in an even firmer
tone.

After an hour of debate, Laksha was
discharged and taken home with heavy prescriptions. The tablet
helped her get some sleep, and her mom gave her undivided attention
that helped her feel safe. Her sudden screams, midnight fears, all
received an immediate hug when she opened her arms. After some
weeks, there came a day when Laksha slept peacefully without waking
and to top it all, she didn’t take her scheduled pill. Her mom had
replaced it with lookalike vitamin tablets days earlier to pull her
out of the medicated addiction that she anticipated.

“
You know what is better?
When you sit right next to the person who needs your help and help
them to recover. It is the best thing when you have already gone
through what that person is going through, have struggled without
the kind of person that you needed. I don’t see the strain in here,
but I am now the person I wished I once had. So don’t be worried
Laksha,”

“
Mom, I don’t know where my
life is and what I am doing here, I know I am a burden to you both
right now. I just want to hold the neck of those who betrayed me
and –“

“
Don’t think like that,
those who screwed your life will eventually screw themselves even
more. What is important is that you have to now resume your life
and career,”

“
Right, I get it. But before
that I should recover, how do I forget the bad
memories?”

“
If you keep repeating that
you don’t want to see a chimp, that’s the only thing that will come
to your mind. Concentrate on something that will distract
you,”

“
Great, what should I
do?”

“
No more hints, find it
yourself.”

“
That’s so mean Mom
–“

“
Shut up and sleep now, I am
sleeping.” said her mother, and rolled over to sleep.

Chapter Eleven

Months later…

“
Your password was changed 3
months ago,” said the official mail id, she had.

After several trials of her password,
she understood that it is no longer active.

Laksha sent umpteen
e
mails
to Saurav, to send her a copy of the experience
certificate. Her emails were not
reverted
and she was clueless
about her next step. To recover from her trauma took nearly six odd
months, her mom being her backbone for every step she took; it
strengthened their relationship than ever before. Her life had a
great changeover, with the motivating smiles and energy boosting
talks from her parents. She felt a lot better, but without a
career, she felt like moving around
in
a wheelchair.

Right from her childhood,
her parents taught how important
job
is, and she caught hold of
it tight. The days were paralyzed, when none returned her calls be
it Saurav, or even Pallavi for that matter. Though, she had some
hints of things going otherwise, she couldn’t take a step against
it, as her illness would push her into a note of depression
again.

She was afraid to take the first step
towards her life, like sipping a hot cup of coffee which could burn
the tongue.

“
Hi Laksha, how are you?”
asked Priyanka, as she stepped into her room.

“
Hey, hi, come in, are you
alright?”

“
Am, I just dropped by to
thank you with all my heart, I will never forget you for this
lifetime.”

All Laksha could do, was to smile and
look away elsewhere, to avoid the awkwardness.

“
In a way, am totally
responsible for things happening around you. Am so sorry, you saved
me from life threatening moment. I don’t know, if in case it wasn’t
you, and if it was any close friend of mine, am not even sure
whether they would jump from the moving train to save me, but you
did.”

“
Nothing as such
Priyanka-“

“
When I realized things, I
was totally shocked about the heck I was in, I just don’t think I
would be standing alive here, if you were not there,”

“
It just happens, don’t we
meet friends at common joint and wave a hello instantly, it is just
life’s way of telling us that the world is small,”

“
Yes, true, and it did show
me, that what goes around, comes around,”

“
Means-“

“
I made a mistake, which
held my neck and may be, at some walk of my life, I would have done
something good, that you came in disguise to help me
out,”

“
Yeah, you sure did,
Priyanka, I was a lot more conservative, but Mumbai life changed
me. Now, I realized that smoking, drinking or even hooking around,
has nothing to do with one’s character. Am all tuned to what life
has given me, I am living the trend and shed my orthodox
skin,”

“
Am sure you did, Thanks!
But, I still want to spill some beans, in return, as a
favor,”

“
You mean?”

“
Am a close friend of
Saurav, I mean, yeah, we were in a relationship. I introduced
Pallavi to him, and she had been doing some data entry related work
for him.”

“
Whattttt? Sauravvv and
Pallavi?” Laksha raised her voice in shock.

“
Yep, am sure that you
didn’t know this, Pallavi didn’t want to share this with
you,”

“
But, she did start all this
long back, even before I know Saurav, right? I mean, I… I.. Just
couldn’t connect the dots Priyanka,” Laksha’s tensed brows, kept
scrutinizing.

“
Okay, what about Sai
Prabhu?” Laksha questioned relaxing her brows and widening her
eyes.

“
Who is that?”

Now, Priyanka’s brows furrowed with a
million dollar question, with the all new, new character entering
the twist.

“
Aw! Snap! Give me sometime
Priyanka,” Laksha pulled a pillow and slant herself in an obtuse
angle while Priyanka, was still at 90 degrees. Straight like a
Barbie, with flexible hands and legs.

“
Okay, so what else you
know? What's the twist all about?”

“
Saurav and I introduced
Pallavi to his cousin; I didn’t know much about him, looks like he
is a misogamist, that’s how Saurav introduced him to me. He
accompanied to the Goa trip, but, I didn’t talk to him much, as
Saurav doesn’t like it,”

“
What? Saurav and you went
to Goa?”

“
Yeah! It was that guy’s
birthday and he was celebrating there, but we joined only after a
day or two, I don’t remember.”

“
And-“

“
And?”

“
Pallavi accompanied us; I
asked her to join as she was upset with her placement results. The
other guy convinced her and promised a good job as well. I even
remember, she was terribly crying and no-one could convince her and
only after talking to you she was better. Only then she was back to
normal.”

“
Oh my.. Damn..” Laksha
thought, but didn’t say it loud.

“
I was surprised, that, even
when most of us were around, that too in a Party town like Goa,
with alcohol, she was so much depressed and all it took was just a
few minutes of phone call with you, to get her
convinced.”

Laksha felt like a good number of
little cartoon birds flying around her head. Sorry, am just
kidding, it was actually like nailing her with every word hammering
the nail go deep.

“
Can you please pick that
tablet from the blue colored box in that Almira, I feel like
suffocating,”

“
Oops, are you alright? Let
me pick that,”

She opened the cupboard, picked the
only box in the third compartment, and walked towards Laksha
picking a bottle of water residing right next to the
bed.

Laksha swallowed the pill in a jiffy
and frowned, for the sake of its bitter taste.

“
Sorry I have to rest for a
while, can you please excuse me,” Laksha spoke in a softened
tone.

“
Sure, sorry again, we will
meet later,” she said. In a minute, Priyanka left their place and
walked out while Laksha rested on the pillow.

Laksha was curious at the same time
confused, with no further thought, she slept for hours
together.

***

Sometimes, life probes you and
sometimes, life turns resilient. There are phases, and there are
not-so-lively phases. Sometimes you feel wow and sometimes you feel
a void, sometimes you feel goddamn, and yes, there comes an
ultimate confusing phase where you can do nothing – just literally
nothing! Likewise, Laksha couldn’t do anything!

Laksha had too many questions popping;
she couldn’t move even a little finger. The un-answered phone calls
to every number she dialed increase the count of question marks,
and nothing more. To let go of things that’s pestering her, took a
while.

“
Who betrayed me? Who is
true to me? What did I actually do? Why me?
” questions bombarded her, and it affected her recovery
stages.

“
Stop thinking all the crap
and take enough rest,” Laksha’s mother told her.

“
I want my questions to be
answered, properly answered.” She said.

“
Well, so you think the lion
won’t pounce on you, if you’re a vegetarian? Don’t be a kiddo, get
some life,” her mother said.

“
Priyanka, sorry that am
bugging you, but just want to know a few details, can we meet,”
Laksha sent a text message to which she replied swiftly.

***

“
Amethyst is my favorite
place, the plants here know me more, been visiting often these
days,” Laksha broke the ice.

“
Hmm, nice that you revamped
yourself so quick, I just kept off for you to get well soon,” she
spoke with a tinge of fear and guilt.

“
I am just confused,
actually I am done with thinking enough about things happened in my
life, but still some clarity would do,” she spoke
straight.

“
I am not sure Laksha, I
didn’t know that you work for Saurav, and things that you asked
about Sai Prabhu is totally foreign to me,”

“
Well, where is Pallavi now?
What is she doing?” Laksha cared enough.

“
I just know she is working
for L&T and is in training now, not sure of the location. Her
mom left to some native land down south I guess,”

“
That, yeah, I know her mom
isn’t here, but would like to know where Pallavi actually is and
why she doesn’t revert to me, she went inaccessible by the time I
recover,” she said.

“
How was Sai and Pallavi in
the trip?” she asked again.

“
That’s their first meeting,
but he swept off in the first go, he easily made it to her comfort
zone,” Priyanka said.

“
He does that always,” she
thought.

“
Actually, we never knew you
worked for Saurav, pure coincidence, as I delegated the work to
Pallavi she was not informed to whom she works for,” Priyanka
cleared.

“
Yeah, coincidence plays a
major role, just like how I saw you in one of the stations on the
way from Coimbatore. I never knew you were the senior Pallavi told
me about, how do you know Saurav?”

“
Social networking, some
chat room, we met many a times and we were in a casual relationship
for a while,” Priyanka explained at ease.