i ed84d0e516761e5e (33 page)

His employer didn’t realize just how oddly he was acting and

seemed totally unable to link his current state to the departure of

his wife three weeks previously. In truth, Robert had never seen

Lord Minshom like this and was deeply worried.

He got the coffee and returned to Lord Minshom, pausing at

the doorway when he saw that his master was not alone. It took

all his composure to set the silver pot down on the table rather

than drop it to the floor. Captain Gray stood before Lord

Minshom, his hands fisted at his sides, his blond hair disheveled

and coming loose from its ribbon.

«My lord, Captain Gray?»

Both men turned to look at him. Robert advanced into the

room and tried hard to keep his gaze away from Captain Gray’s

ravaged face. He found it impossible to keep quiet. Despite Lord

Minshom’s presence, Robert couldn’t help his outburst. «Where

the hell have you been?»

«I went down to Dover and tried to persuade my superiors to

allow me to sail to India.»

244 /
Kate Pearce

«So why aren’t you on your way?»

David’s smile was rueful. «Because I realized I couldn’t go,

and that I was behaving like a coward.» He nodded at Lord

Minshom. «I knew I had to come back and face Minshom.»

Lord Minshom smiled. «Ah, Robert. You will enjoy this.

David wants me to take him back.»

A roaring sensation filled Robert’s head. «I beg your pardon,

sir?»

«Your Captain Gray has decided that he is so unworthy that

the only suitable place for him is under me, being fucked, being

abused, being... used.»

Robert took a deep breath. «I won’t let that happen, sir.»

«And how do you think you are going to stop him?»

Robert turned to stare at David. «Why are you doing this?»

David shrugged. «Because I’ve realized that if I can’t have you,

I’d rather not have anything. And, as you refuse to leave Lord

Minshom, that means I have to be where you are too.»

«No. I won’t allow it.» Robert swung back to Lord Minshom.

«He isn’t thinking clearly, sir. He had some ridiculous notion that

he is no longer worthy of respect.»

«And why is that?»

David looked at Minshom. «Because I now understand why

my ‘father’ chose me to compete in The Little Gentleman’s Club,

rather than one of my brothers.» He swallowed hard. «He never

loved me because I’m not his real son. I was fathered by one of

the grooms.»

Minshom frowned. «And that makes a difference because...»

«Because Captain Gray is a fool,» Robert said angrily.

«Doesn’t he understand that he had created his own worth and

that his birth is irrelevant?»

Something flickered in David’s blue eyes as Robert

confronted him, a sense of shame, of self-doubt that Robert had

never seen before. «Don’t let your father destroy who you are,

SIMPLY INSATIABLE
/ 245

David, and don’t come groveling back to Lord Minshom for my

sake.»

«I haven’t said I’d take him back yet.»

Robert and David both turned to stare at Lord Minshom, who

sat sprawled in his chair, his coffee cup still cradled in his hand.

He nodded at David.

«If I ordered you to kneel at my feet now and suck my cock,

would you do it?»

David shrugged. «If it meant I got to stay with Robert, then

yes.»

Robert stepped between the two men. «No.» He faced Lord

Minshom. «If you make him do that, I’ll leave.»

Minshom raised an eyebrow. «You’ll leave me}»

«Aye.»

«But you promised you’d never leave me.»

Robert held Minshom’s pale blue stare. «So did Lady

Minshom.»

«And I got rid of her, didn’t I?» Minshom sat up and put his

coffee cup on the table beside him. «You seem to be suggesting

that I am somehow at fault.»

Robert set his jaw. «I’m not suggesting anything, sir. I

wouldn’t dare. I’m just saying that I will leave your employ if you

take Captain Gray back as a lover.»

David touched his arm. «Robert...»

Robert shrugged his touch away, kept his attention all on his

employer, his lover, his master. «I’ve spent my whole life trying

to save you from yourself, and I find I’m no longer willing to do

so.» «Really.»

«Lady Minshom tried too, but you wouldn’t let her, would

you?

Pain flashed across Minshom’s face and was quickly

concealed. «Don’t presume to talk about my relationship with my

wife, Robert.»

246 /
Kate Pearce

«I respect Lady Minshom far too much to ever think of doing

that, sir.» Robert bowed. «I’m respectfully submitting my notice.

Good-bye, my lord.»

He made it through the door, blundered down the back

staircase and into the kitchen before he could no longer see for

the tears streaming down his face. He turned to face the brick

wall under the stairwell leading down to the cellar, braced his face

against his arm and let himself cry. He cried for his lost youth,

for his friends, for his lovers...

Upstairs, Minshom regarded David Gray who was staring

after Robert.

«I don’t want you, David.»

«What?»

«I don’t want you back in my life.» He nodded at the door.

«Perhaps rather than standing here gaping at me, you should use

your energies to persuade Robert to enter your employ. Seeing as

he is now a free man.»

«I don’t understand.»

«It’s quite simple. Robert and I are done with each other, you

are also done with me, so why not be happy? Why not take this

chance and make it happen?»

David Gray frowned. «I understand that. What I don’t

understand is why you are doing this. You deliberately goaded

him into leaving you. You forced him to make a choice.»

Minshom opened his eyes wide. «Did I? In my opinion, I

merely dismissed an insubordinate servant who dared to

comment on my relationship with my wife.»

«I’ll never understand you, Minshom.» David sighed. «But I’m

not a fool. If Robert is prepared to listen to me, I’ll do my best to

persuade him to stay with me.»

«Then do it.» Minshom pretended to yawn. «This whole

business is quite fatiguing.» He tensed as David came forward

and dropped down onto his knees. «Are you about to offer me a

parting gift?»

SIMPLY INSATIABLE
/ 247

David grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles. «No, I’ll save

that for Robert. I just wanted to say thank you, and I know you

always love me on my knees.»

Minshom cupped David’s chin and ran his thumb along his

jaw. «Good-bye, David. Take care of Robert for me.»

«I will.» David rose to his feet and bowed. «I’m sure I’ll see

you again soon.»

Minshom waved a languid hand. «I hope not. You’ll probably

be too busy fucking Robert to do anything for a long while.»

David’s smile flashed out. «If he lets me.»

«He loves you. Now go.»

David disappeared down the stairs, and Minshom sat back

and contemplated both the empty space in front of him and the

echoing space in his heart. He’d let Robert go, given him a

chance to be happy. Could he survive the loss? It was almost as

painful as giving up Jane.

He frowned into the stillness.

Exactly when had he realized that unpleasant truth? That

Jane’s departure had changed his life? Perhaps letting Robert go

was a way to show Jane how much he now understood about

love. Would she be proud of him, and why did it matter anyway?

«My lord, are you feeling any better?»

He looked up to find Madame Helene at the door, her

expression somewhere between concern and determination. He’d

always admired that about her, her ability to balance compassion

with business.

«I’m feeling quite well, Madame, although it appears I’ve just

lost my valet.»

She tilted her blonde head to one side, came farther into the

room and closed the door behind her. «Robert Brown has left

your employ?»

«Indeed. I believe he will shortly take up employment with

Captain David Gray.»

248 /
Kate Pearce

Without asking for permission, she settled into the chair

opposite his, her pale green silk skirts shimmering in the

candlelight.

«And you allowed that?»

He shrugged. «Of course.»

«There is no ‘of course’ about it, my lord. You are not known

for being kind.»

He glared at her. «And you are not known for your tact.»

«That is true.» She smiled. «But I still think you did a good thing.»

He simply stared at her, realized he couldn’t say anything that

wouldn’t sound remotely unconcerned, and he desperately

needed to regain his detachment, to retreat behind the barriers

that had protected him since he was a child. But those barriers

were too thin tonight, ripped to shreds by Jane’s defection and

his decision to let Robert go.

Madame Helene stirred. «Did you bring your wife with you

tonight?»

Ah, there was to be no respite then. «No, Madame. She has

returned to Minshom Abbey.»

«Was she unwell or did town life simply not agree with her?»

He smiled, realized he was too exhausted to contemplate

disguising the truth, knew instinctively that Madame Helene

would never betray him anyway. «You probably imagine she grew

disgusted with the way I lived, don’t you?»

«Not at all. From all reports, she seemed more than happy to

participate in your sexual excesses, my lord. Why would I think

that?»

«She left because I sent her away. We had a bargain that once

she got what she wanted, she would leave.»

«And what did she want?»

«Another baby.» He winced at his own words.

«Another baby? You have children?»

Her complete disbelief made him blurt out the truth. «We had

a son seven years ago who died.»

SIMPLY INSATIABLE
/ 249

Madame considered him, her blue eyes full of compassion.

«That is very sad. I’m glad you will be blessed with another

child.»

He glared at her. «Glad? The thought terrifies me. Why do

you think I’ve abandoned my wife in the countryside for seven

«Because you were too afraid to create another child? It

doesn’t sound like you.»

Minshom gritted his teeth. «I was the last person to see my

son alive. He was discovered dead in my arms. My wife believed I

smothered him in his sleep.»

God, had he ever told anyone that before? And why the hell

was he doing it now? It was a struggle to meet Madame’s gaze.

She reached out her hand and touched his knee.

«I’m sure she doesn’t believe that anymore. She obviously

loves you. Otherwise why would she have come all the way to

London to find you and agree to make another child with you?

Losing a baby must have been equally, if not more devastating, to

her.»

Minshom stared at the delicate hand resting on his knee as he

contemplated her words. Was it really that simple? Was it all

really about love and being brave enough to face your fears? He

sighed.

«Madame, I wish it were that straightforward...»

«Ha! It is that straightforward.» Madame snapped her fingers.

«Why do men complicate things so badly?»

«I believe it is women who do that,» he said dryly. «My wife is

a master at it.» He stumbled to his feet. «I think I will go home.»

«Without visiting the third floor? I know some of our

members are missing you up there.»

«But I am not missing them.» How extraordinary that he had

just realized that. «For once I prefer my own bed.»

Madame Helene smiled at him and he held out his hand to

help her up. She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

«I will pray for you, my lord, and for your family.»

250 /
Kate Pearce

«Thank you, I think.» He turned toward the door. «Good

night, Madame.»

«Good night, my lord, and sleep well.»

He smiled at her. «I’ll try.» Perhaps she expected him to thank

her for listening to him or burst into noisy tears, but he hadn’t

quite sunk to those depths, yet.

There was no sign of Robert in the entrance hall so Minshom

assumed all had gone well between him and David. He stepped

into his carriage and closed his eyes, curiously at peace. For once

in his life, he’d tried to do the right thing. He hoped Jane would

be proud of him.

David ran down the back stairs of the pleasure house as if his

life depended on it. He flung open the door to the deserted

kitchen and paused, searching for signs of life. Under the

stairwell he spotted a familiar figure pressed up against the wall.

«Robert?»

David pressed himself against the other man’s back, kissed

Robert’s neck, his ear, any part of him he could get at. «Please

don’t go. Please stay with me. I don’t want Minshom; I want you,

only you.»

Slowly Robert turned around and David saw the tear stains on

his cheeks and used his mouth and tongue to lick them away.

«Don’t cry. God, please don’t cry.»

He put his palm against the side of Robert’s face. «Stay with

me.»

«As your lover?»

«As whatever you want.»

A small smile quivered on Robert’s lips. «I’d probably better