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return from London. I don’t know what I would do without

him.»

To her annoyance, Blaize’s smile emerged, the one that said

he was simply humoring her. «Laying it on a bit too thick, my

dear?»

She stiffened and smiled right back at him, showing her teeth.

«Didn’t you tell me that I could fuck whoever I wanted once I

got home? I’m simply reviewing my options and Sir Derek is not

only a fine specimen of manhood, but remarkably convenient.»

She noted his suddenly blank face and let his shirt slip through

her suddenly nerveless fingers. «I’ll see you at dinner.»

She sped off down the corridor, half hoping Blaize would

come after her but also relieved when he didn’t. She ran down

the stairs and paused by the door to the kitchen wing, her heart

thumping wildly. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, just

because he’d turned up and seen his father. She deserved more.

So why was she so flustered? Perhaps seeing Blaize on his knees,

begging, would be a good place to start though…

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Kate Pearce

23

Dinner was excellent, not that Minshom was surprised. Word

of his return had spread through the great house, and everyone

who’d known him both as a boy and as a young married man had

come to see him, congratulate him on his return and come

miserate about his father. He found it difficult to understand the

lack of animosity toward him and wondered if perhaps the

servants had known more about the true nature of his

relationship with his father than he dared to contemplate.

There was animosity present though, in the form of his wife

who sat opposite him through the meal without smiling at him or

answering any of his cordial questions with more than one- word

answers. She looked tired, with dark circles beneath her eyes and

her cheeks sallow. He was also concerned by her lack of appetite.

She spent most of the meal pushing the succulent food around

her plate and pretending to eat.

Minshom sipped at his wine and noticed Jane wasn’t drinking

either. He gestured at her glass. «Is the wine not to your liking?»

She wrinkled her nose at him. «It is fine, thank you, my lord.»

«I hate to drink alone. You didn’t poison this bottle, did you?

«I didn’t think to.» She shrugged. «What a missed

opportunity.»

Minshom sighed and put down his glass. «What do you want

from me, Jane? I did what you asked, I came back to see my

father. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my

life, and yet you are treating me with complete disdain.»

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«Which is exactly how you treat me, my lord.»

«As I said, what do you want?»

She met his gaze in the candlelight, her hazel eyes clear. «I

don’t want anything from you.» Her hand unconsciously settled

over her stomach. «I have everything I need here at Minshom

Abbey and your promise to leave me alone forever.»

«I don’t remember promising any such thing.»

«You said you didn’t want me, that you had everything you

wanted in London.»

He pretended to frown. «I don’t recall that conversation at

all.»

Jane leaned across the table, one hand planted perilously close

to the apple pie. «You are impossible.»

«Am I?» He faced her. «Are you carrying my child?»

She sat back down and busied herself with her napkin.

«Jane…»

«Why would you care?»

«Because I would like to know if I am going to be a father

again.» He forced himself not to flinch away from her obvious

distress, reached across the pie to hold her hand.

«I think I am.» Her smile was wobbly. «If not, I am simply

going into a decline and will soon be dead, so you can marry

again at will.» She tried to snatch her hand back but he resisted

her efforts. «I’ll write and tell you if things go awry.»

«And what if things go well? Will you write and tell me then?»

«You said you didn’t care.»

«I lied.» He struggled to find the right words to heal the world

of hurt he sensed in her. He felt so inadequate because he’d

never ever tried to comfort anyone before in his pitiful life.

«Then I will write and tell you.»

He studied her shaking fingers, smoothed his endlessly over

them. «Will you let me see the child?»

«Of course. Why would you think I would not?»

He swallowed hard. «Because of what happened before?»

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Kate Pearce

«Blaize...» The hint of tears in her voice almost undid him. «I

told you...»

«Because of Nicholas.» He brought her fingers to his lips and

kissed them, tried to force himself to be honest, to share part of

himself that was still almost too painful to bear. «I could not live

with myself if I hurt another child. I’d rather stay away.»

Silence fell and eventually he was forced to look at her.

«Blaize, is that why you sent me away, because you were

afraid?»

He let go of her fingers and sat back. «That wasn’t the only

reason, you know that.»

«But...»

He shot to his feet. God, this was too hard. He simply

couldn’t bear it. «If you will excuse me?» He shoved back his

chair and blundered his way out of the room and up the stairs. In

his bedroom, Jane’s maid was piling Jane’s possessions on the

bed.

«Excuse me, my lord, I was just carrying out her ladyships

orders. I wasn’t expecting...»

He waved her apologies away and backed out of the room. Of

course Jane didn’t want to sleep with him. Who would? Only the

scum who understood him, who craved the sexual oblivion he

did. That’s why he’d always been so fascinated and intrigued by

Anthony Sokorvsky and David Gray, men who were able to set

aside their pasts, who refused to be dominated by him and had

found happiness.

He opened the door in front of him and found himself in the

old nursery. Distantly he noticed that it had been cleaned and

given a fresh coat of paint. Jane had obviously been busy. He

walked slowly toward the fireplace and stared at the old wing

chair that still stood there and sat down.

He’d sat there that last night with Nicholas, held him cradled

against his chest and sung nonsense rhymes to him until he’d

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slept... and woken to find that Nicholas slept on and could not be

roused.

His father hadn’t helped, had accused him of deliberately

killing his heir simply from spite, and for one horrified second,

Minshom had looked at Jane and thought she agreed with his

father. Had waited for her to fly to his defense and waited in

vain.

«Blaize?»

He looked up. She was there, of course, had come after him.

Had he wanted that all along? Jane to keep coming after him

even when he was impossible? He supposed he had. She came

around and knelt at his feet, tears falling down her cheeks. She

wasn’t beautiful when she cried, but he’d rather look at her than

at any other person in England.

«After I thought you sided with my father and accused me of

murdering Nicholas, I knew I had to leave you. But I also knew I

had to get even with my father for his deliberate meddling in our

marriage. I found Robert and took him into my father’s

bedchamber, let my father find us fucking. I wanted him to see

what a monster he’d created.»

Minshom shrugged. «Of course, my father was enraged and he

tried to shoot Robert, shouting that I was unnatural, perverted, a

disgrace to my name. And I shouted back, told him to go to hell

and that he was the real pervert. Then I watched him fall to the

floor in convulsions. I forced Robert to come away with me and

left my father there writhing on the carpet.»

«I didn’t know that.»

Minshom smiled at Jane. «Hardly anyone does. It’s not exactly

something to be proud of, is it? Destroying your father, alienating

your wife and killing your son all in one night.»

Jane put her hand on his knee. «You were distraught and that

was my fault. I didn’t stand up for you against your father. I let

you down. You didn’t kill Nicholas and you might have

provoked your father, but he made his own choices too.»

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Kate Pearce

He took her hand, his fingers shaking so much he could

barely manage it. «And you? Have I lost you, Jane? Because if I

have, I have no idea why I should bother to continue my

existence.»

«I’m here.»

He looked down at her and drew her up onto his knees,

kissed her soft mouth until she kissed him back. «I’m sorry, love.

Sorry for everything.»

She drew back and stared at him. «Did you just apologize to

«I believe I did.»

She made as if to jump off his lap. «Mayhap I should get a pen

and paper and make you write it down, for I doubt I shall ever

hear you say those words again.»

He held her close and kissed his way down the side of her

neck. «Perhaps later, Jane. I would much prefer to be inside you

now.» He looked into her eyes.

«I would like that too. I’ve missed you.»

«I’ve missed you too.»

He kissed each tear away on her cheeks, ravaged her mouth so

slowly and thoroughly that she moaned and pressed against him,

her nipples tight, and the scent of her arousal driving him wild.

Her hand drifted down to his buckskin breeches and released his

straining cock, her fingers cool against his heated flesh as she

wrapped them around his shaft.

«I want you, Jane,» he whispered in between kisses, «I want

you more than I can breathe and it scares me to death.»

She kissed him back, murmured reassurances and coaxed him

into bringing her down over his shaft and settling inside her.

When she began to move on him, he groaned with every stroke,

let her take him, let her control the pace and passion of his

orgasm, let her love him.

He came in thick shuddering waves, one hand buried in her

hair, the other on her hip holding her down on his pumping

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cock. She collapsed over him, her head nestled against his

shoulder and he held her tight.

After a while, he kissed her cheek. «Do you want to go to

bed?»

«In a moment.»

He found himself smiling into the darkness at her sleepy tone

and stayed still, content to listen to the sounds of the

countryside, so different from those of the town. He felt more at

peace with Jane in his arms than he had ever felt before in his

life. But all the same—he would also like his bed.

«Thomas Wesley isn’t going back to India. I thought we might

invite him down for a visit. Perhaps we can fuck him together. «

There was no response other than a drowsy murmur of

assent. Minshom tried again.

«Did you know Anthony Sokorvsky is getting married?»

Jane stiffened and then raised her head. He could just see the

indignant shine in her hazel eyes.

«Why did you say that?»

«To wake you up? To persuade you to move into a more

comfortable spot for lovemaking.»

«Oh.» She sighed. «Did you wish him well?»

«Sokorvsky? I did. He and his intended see me as some kind

of perverted cupid.»

«You?»

He shrugged as he picked her up and headed for the door.

«Indeed. Some nonsense about my devilish plans throwing them

together or something.»

«I suppose they are right.»

He kicked open the door to their bedroom, appreciating the

soft glow of the fire and the shadows of the large four-poster

bed. He laid Jane gently in the center of the bed and stood over

her, rapidly dispensing with his clothes.

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Kate Pearce

«Apparently, I’m responsible for the happiness not only of

Robert and Captain Gray, but Sokorvsky and Lady Justin.» «And

us.»

He stared down at her. «No, love. That’s all due to you.» He

reached forward to unbutton her gown and froze when she

brought her hands up and crossed them over her bodice. «You

don’t want me?»

Jane grimaced. «It’s just that I’m a little plumper than I think I

should be at this stage of a pregnancy. I don’t want to shock

you.»

«Do you think I care about that? You could be the size of an

elephant and I’d still want to look at you.»

«Thank you, I think.»

She hesitated again and he realized he was holding his breath.

«Have you changed your mind about being with me?» He took an

unsteady step back, felt more vulnerable than he had ever been in

his life before. «I can sleep somewhere else...»

She sat up, pushed her long hair out of her face and held out

her hand. «No, that’s not what I want. It’s just that I know you

are as scared as I am about having another child...»

«I’m not scared.»

«Blaize...»

«I’m terrified.»

She nodded. «Which is why I’m reluctant to share what

Mistress Goody told me yesterday.»

He struggled to breathe. «Tell me.»

«She said I was so big there might be more than one child.»

«Good God.» He blinked slowly and then slid down to his