I Want to Hold Your Hand (22 page)

“Are you good at it?”

“I’ve won five times, which has earned us a few sponsors and a bit of recognition on the circuit.”

Before she could reply, their meals arrived, and the waiter asked if he could get them anything else.

“I think we’re good,” Nolan said with a glance at Hannah, who nodded.

It killed him not to ask her what was going through her mind, and he had to force his dinner past the lump of fear in his throat. What if she asked him to give it up? Could he? Would he? He honestly didn’t know how he could give it up without letting down a lot of other people who’d worked really hard to get where they were. Those people were his friends, and letting them down wasn’t high on his list of priorities.

But she was at the very top of his list, and if she asked him to, he’d probably stop racing. He hoped she didn’t ask.

“Could I maybe come see you race sometime?”

“I’d love to have you there. Any time you want.”

“I’m not going to lie to you. It makes me very nervous to think about you endangering yourself for fun.”

“I swear I’m as careful as I can possibly be. I have no desire to maim or kill myself. I’ve got far too much to live for. Especially lately.”

The postscript drew a faint smile from her. “Why do you do it?”

He thought about that for a second. “It’s hard to explain the thrill of flying around the track, jockeying for position, outmaneuvering the opposition, working with a team to achieve results. It’s an incredible high.”

“You really love it.”

“I really do.”

She focused on her meal, so he did the same, trying to quell his anxiety. He’d told the truth about his “hobby,” and she hadn’t freaked out or demanded he stop racing or stop seeing her. That had been his greatest fear, that she’d make it an either-or thing. He should’ve known she was built of better stuff than that, but still. He was relieved she hadn’t issued any ultimatums. Yet anyway . . . After she saw him race, that might be a different story.

“In two weeks, the team will be going to New Hampshire for a weekend to practice before our season begins later this spring. If you’d like to come along, I’d love to take you with me.”

“That sounds like fun.”

He wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin in his lap, reached for her hand and held it between both of his. “Will you do something for me?”

“Sure.”

“Will you be honest with me about how you really feel about the racing? Good? Bad? Ugly? Whatever it is, will you tell me the truth?”

She nodded.

“Thank you,” he said, leaning in to kiss her.

“I can’t eat another bite. It was so good.”

He signaled for the check. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

They were on the way out of the restaurant when an older woman stood and waved to them. “Hannah! I thought that was you!”

Oh jeez
, Nolan thought,
Mr. and Mrs. Guthrie’s next-door neighbors.
Thank God the Guthries knew he and Hannah were seeing each other.

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Davis. How are you?”

Mrs. Davis cast a shrewd eye on Nolan before she returned her attention to Hannah. “Doing quite well, and you?”

“I’m fine. You know Nolan Roberts, right?”

“Sure, we do,” Mr. Davis said. “Good to see you Nolan.”

“You, too.”

“Well,” Hannah said. “We were just leaving. Enjoy your dinner.”

Mrs. Davis smiled sweetly and waggled her fingers. “Nice to see you two.”

Nolan kept his hand on Hannah’s lower back as they left the restaurant and stepped into the chilly air.

“Thank goodness Bob and Amelia already know or they’d be finding out right about now,” Hannah said.

“I was thinking the same exact thing.”

“Myrna Davis is the biggest gossip in Butler. I bet she thinks she’s stumbled upon one hell of a scoop.”

“You think she’s already on the phone with Amelia?” Nolan asked.

“I know she is! She wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“I’m sure Amelia is bursting her bubble by telling her she already knows. Poor Myrna,” Nolan said, making Hannah laugh.

“Poor Myrna needs to mind her own business.”

“What fun would that be?” He held the passenger door to the truck for her. “Incidentally, I got a talking to from Mrs. Andersen about how special you are and how I need to treat you well or face the wrath of the entire town.”

Hannah’s mouth fell open as she turned to face him. “Are you
serious
? She actually said that?”

“Words to that effect.”

“People are certifiably insane in that town.”

“No argument from me, but it’s nice they’re protective of you.”

“Like it’s not enough that my whole family feels like they have a right to know everything I do, now the rest of the town wants in on the action?”

“They feel invested in you, Hannah. They watched Caleb grow up, and they lost him, too. I suppose it’s only natural they’d be protective of his wife.”

“Technically, I’m not his wife anymore.”

“Yes, you are. You’ll always be his wife. Someday you might be someone else’s wife, but you’ll always be his, too.”

Hannah rested her hands on his shoulders. “It means so much to me when you say things like that. But it means just as much to me that you don’t think of me first and foremost as his widow.”

He moved in closer to her, stepping between her legs to put his arms around her. “That’s not how I think of you at all, even though it’s definitely part of the overall picture. It’s not the focus though.”

“What is the focus?” she asked, sounding a bit breathless.

“So many things.” Pushing her hair back, he exposed the elegant length of her neck. He trailed kisses from her ear to her throat. “Your sweetness, your incredible kindness to everyone, the patient way you put up with your siblings even when they’re making you crazy.” As he spoke, he continued the gentle, sensual assault on her neck. “The love and care you’ve shown to Caleb’s family, the incredible way you’ve honored his memory, the amazing generosity you’ve shown to his friends by opening your home to us any time we get the urge to be together. And then there’s your artistic talents, your dazzling smile, your expressive eyes that never miss a thing—”

“
Nolan
,” she said on a shudder.

He wasn’t sure if it was the words, the kisses or the cold that was making her tremble. “I wasn’t finished.” Her unsteady laughter made him smile. “In fact, I was just getting started.” He drew back to look into her eyes. “The word
widow
is not the first thing I think of when you come to mind. It hasn’t been for a very long time.”

With her hand curled around his nape, she drew him into a kiss that went from zero to holy shit in about three seconds. Her tongue curled around his as she tugged on his hair almost to the point of pain, but it was the best kind of pain.

Nolan lost all track of time as he fell deeper into her and the sweet, sexy sounds she made as he kissed her. He gripped her hips and pulled her in closer to him, pressing against her in an increasingly urgent rhythm.

And then he remembered where they were and that people they knew were inside the restaurant. Reluctantly, he drew back from her, gazing into eyes that had gone sleepy with desire. “How about we take this somewhere more comfortable and less public?”

“Yes, please.”

“You’re a sexy siren one minute and politely demure the next,” he said as he reached around her to fasten her seatbelt. “It’s quite a potent combination.”

“I like to keep you guessing.”

“That’s not all you’re doing to me.” He kissed her again, chastely this time, before closing her door and moving painfully around the truck. He was like a walking, talking hard-on these days, and the constant state of arousal was making him a bit edgy.

As soon as he’d backed out of the lot, he reached for Hannah’s hand and held it all the way home.

After a long period of silence, she said, “Nolan?”

“Yeah?”

Hesitantly, she said, “When we, you know, go to bed together . . . It can’t be at my house.”

Nolan nearly swallowed his tongue at the casual way in which she said such life-changing words. “Okay.” She didn’t need to spell out the reasons why she didn’t want to make love to him for the first time in the home she’d shared with Caleb. But the fact that she was thinking about that and making plans for what seemed inevitable now did absolutely nothing to help the throbbing ache in his lap.

“Was it okay to say that?” she asked in a small voice that tugged at his heart.

He squeezed her hand. “I told you there’s nothing you could say to me that wouldn’t be okay. If something is on your mind, I want to know. No matter what it is. All right?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“God, Hannah, don’t thank me. I should be thanking you. I feel like I’m dreaming or something because I get to be with you this way.”

“You make me feel very special.”

“You are very special.”

They arrived at her house a short time later, and he went to help her out of the truck.

He kept an arm around her on the way up the walk to her porch. She unlocked the front door and reached for his arm, pulling him inside with her.

Nolan smiled at her obvious desire to spend more time with him and willingly followed her, shedding his coat as he went.

“Would you mind lighting the fire?” she asked. “I’ll be right back.”

“No problem.”

He went into the sitting room as she went upstairs, piquing his curiosity about where she might be going and why. The firewood had already been laid in the hearth, so he struck a match and lit the kindling, blowing on the flame until it took. He was still kneeling in front of the fireplace when she rejoined him, wrapping her arms around him from behind.

Her soft curves pressed against his back and the heat of the fire against his face made for a potent combination.

He covered her hands with his, holding them flat against his chest where his heart beat fast and hard for her.

She shifted slightly to the right and kissed the sensitive spot just below his ear.

Nolan turned and drew her into his arms, looking down at her looking up at him as the fire crackled and sizzled. “I don’t know if it’s you or the fire, but I’m overheating. Can I take this sweater off?”

Nodding, she reached for the hem and helped him to raise it over his chest.

He pulled it from behind and tossed it aside.

Hannah’s gaze skirted over his chest, taking a long perusing look that made him hard as stone.

And then she touched him, and he wanted to beg for mercy.

CHAPTER 16

The wedding was amazing! We had it in the backyard at home on a perfect spring day. Gavin was Caleb’s best man, and Hunter, Will, Nolan and Turk were his groomsmen. I told him he couldn’t have ALL the Sultans or the wedding party would be bigger than the guest list. Since I refused to pick between Ella and Charley, Becky was my maid of honor, and my sisters and cousins were my bridesmaids. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget the day I married the love of my life.

—From the diary of Hannah Abbott Guthrie, age twenty-two

H
annah drank in her first look at Nolan’s bare chest, which was as finely built as it seemed through his clothes. He had muscles everywhere, and suddenly the view of the top half wasn’t enough. With her hands on his shoulders, she urged him to lie back on the rug in front of the hearth.

“Hannah . . .” He sounded tense and almost hesitant.

“Please? I want to look at you.”

Blowing out a deep breath, he stretched out and watched her warily as she looked to her heart’s content at dark chest hair, well-defined muscles in his shoulders, chest and belly as well as the enticing V-cut over his hip bones that dropped off into his jeans.

“Do you think less of me for wanting to kiss and lick those incredible abs?”

His nervous laughter made her smile. “Um no, definitely not.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “Do anything you want, Hannah. I’m all yours.”

She began with her hands flat against his pectorals, smoothing her palms over his chest and ribs to his belly, watching in stunned amazement as his erection lengthened under well-worn denim. She wanted to touch him there, too, but she didn’t dare. Not yet anyway.

His heart beat hard under her hands as he watched her every move with sexy, half-closed eyes.

Hannah bent over him and left a path of kisses along his collarbone before moving down to run her tongue over his nipple, which drew a sharp gasp from him as his hands fisted her hair. “Does it feel good or bad?”

“Good,” he said through gritted teeth. “So damned good.”

Pleased with his reaction, she did it again before moving to the other side. He sucked in a sharp breath, which created a gap in his jeans and exposed the crown of his penis. She couldn’t take her eyes off the sight of his straining, weeping cock, which got bigger before her eyes.

“Hannah,” he groaned. “Touch me. Please touch me.”

He didn’t have to ask her twice. She tugged on the button to his jeans and carefully and slowly unzipped him. When she hesitated, he took her hand and placed it over his erection, pressing down from above.