I Want to Hold Your Hand (19 page)

Once the panic subsided, Nolan walked directly to Hannah, drawn to her in a way he’d never been to anyone else.

When she asked him where he’d come from, he gestured to the garage. “Forgot to eat.”

Her gaze coasted over his face. “You look exhausted. Is everything okay?”

“It is now.”

She smiled, and he felt a thousand times better. That was all it took. Christ, he had it bad for her, and it seemed to be getting worse all the time. And then he remembered the things he was keeping from her—including his passion for fast and risky driving as well as his deadbeat father—and the agonizing fear that he wasn’t good enough for her sucked the wind from his lungs.

“Nolan? Are you okay? You really need to eat.” She took him by the arm and pulled him toward the diner. “Come on.”

As he followed her up the stairs, her hand still on his arm, it occurred to him that she was making a rather public declaration by dragging him into the diner. He discovered he quite liked her public declaration, even if his stomach ached with more than just hunger. After spending even a little time with her, after holding her and kissing her and touching her soft skin, he couldn’t imagine going back to the empty life he’d been leading before her.

But the second he told her about his high-stakes passion or let her into the nightmare that was his family, he’d lose her. He had almost no doubt about that, and the thought depressed him more than anything had in a long time.

“What’s troubling you?” she asked when they were seated in a booth.

He wanted to reach for her hands, but wasn’t sure she was ready to go
that
public, so he resisted. “Nothing now.”

“How about before?”

“Could we maybe talk about it later? I’ve had a bitchy day until about five minutes ago, and all I want to do is sit here and look at you. Is that okay?”

She blushed as she nodded, and under the table, her hand curled around his. “Does this help?”

“Yeah,” he said gruffly. Her touch affected him so profoundly that all he could do was gaze at her, drinking in every detail of her face, focusing primarily on the rosy pink lips that were still a bit swollen from their passionate kisses the night before. Longing zipped through him and had him shifting in his seat to accommodate the sudden pressure against his fly. He released a shaky breath as Megan approached the table to take their order.

Nolan asked for a cheeseburger and fries as well as Skeeter’s BLT to go.

“Just a Diet Coke for me,” Hannah said.

“You don’t want anything to eat?” Nolan asked.

She shook her head. “I’ll steal a few of your fries.”

He held her hand between both of his as he continued to stare greedily at her. “We’re kind of going public here,” he whispered, aware of the attention they were generating from other patrons.

“That’s okay,” she said with a hint of hesitation that he tuned right in to.

“Are you sure?”

“I . . . Sometimes I wonder . . . What people will think of me if I start to date again.”

“How do you mean?”

“Everyone has been so kind to me since Caleb died, and I know it’s weird, but I worry about letting them down or something.” She glanced up at him, slaying him with her expressive eyes. “That’s stupid, right?”

“It’s not stupid. You want them to respect you, and you want them to know you still respect Caleb and his memory.”

“Yes,” she said, sounding relieved. “That’s it exactly. Speaking of his memory . . .” Hannah told him about the retreat she planned to open at the house and showed him the logo Cameron had left with her.

He studied the picture for a long moment. “Won’t this tell the world that he’s still very much on your mind?”

“I suppose it will.”

“People know you haven’t forgotten him, Hannah. How could you? How could any of us ever forget him?”

On the other side of the diner, Percy Flanders and Cletus Wagner, best friends of Hannah’s grandfather, watched them closely. At one point, Cletus leaned over to catch a glimpse of what was going on under the table. Upon righting himself, he raised a nosy white eyebrow in Nolan’s direction.

“Do you want me to let go?” he asked, aware that she’d noticed the attention from the old men.

“No.”

“I wish I had the balls to lean across this table and kiss you.”

Her nervous laughter further inflamed him. He wanted her so fiercely. “It might be best to save that for a more private setting.”

He groaned at her suggestive words and was forced to release her hand when his lunch landed with a clatter on the table. “What’s her problem?” he asked after Megan stormed off.

“She’s mad at me.”

He doused the burger and fries with ketchup. “At
you
? Why?”

“Because I’m friends with Cameron.”

“Still not getting it.”

“Megan is madly in love with Will, or at least she has herself convinced she is.”

Nolan paused with a fry halfway to his mouth. “Megan is in love with
Will
? Since when?”

“Um, pretty much forever.”

“Seriously? Wow, I totally missed that one. So she hates Cameron.”

“Naturally. And she hates me because I love Cameron.”

“Yikes. That’s a whole lot of hate going around.”

“I know! It’s so silly—and get this. I heard this morning that Hunter actually has a thing for Megan.”

“Hunter as in your twin brother Hunter?”

Exasperated, she said, “Yes, my twin brother. What other Hunter do you know?”

“I figured it had to be some other Hunter, because I so don’t see him with her.”

“Me either, especially when she’s so
flagrant
about her feelings for Will. Poor Hunter. And in other Abbott news, apparently Colton has a girlfriend.” She leaned in closer to whisper. “He shaved off his beard
and
cut his hair.”

“All of this just since I last saw you?”

“It’s been a busy day.”

“I’d say so.”

She dipped one of his fries into ketchup and popped it into her mouth. “So what’s your meeting tonight about?” All at once, she seemed uncertain. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“You’re not prying. You’re interested. There’s a difference. And I want to tell you about my meeting, but that’s a whole separate conversation we need to have very soon.”

“Is it an AA meeting?” She quickly added, “If it is, that’s okay.”

Laughing, he said, “No, nothing like that. It’s an addiction of another kind.”

“I confess to being intrigued.”

She wouldn’t be intrigued once she heard how he liked to spend his free time. She’d most likely be horrified and never want to see him again.

Her hand covered his—on top of the table this time. “Whatever it is, I want to hear about it. I want to know you, Nolan.”

“And what if you don’t like what you learn about me?”

“I suppose we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. So far, I like everything I know about you.”

“
Everything?
”

She nodded as she gazed intently at him. “Uh-huh.”

He quickly finished his lunch and signaled for the check, which he paid with haste, and picked up the bag with Skeeter’s takeout. “You left something important in my office yesterday. You should come and get it.”

Hannah’s brows came together in an adorably confused expression. “What did I leave?”

“I’ll show you when we get there. Come on.”

 • • • 

Excited, confused, intrigued and aroused by his obvious desire to be alone with her, Hannah walked quickly to keep up with him. He kept a tight hold on her hand as they moved briskly on the sidewalk, attracting the attention of several passers-by, who nodded in greeting to her.

At the garage, Nolan dropped the white bag containing the BLT on top of a tall red tool chest. “There’s your sandwich,” he called to Skeeter.

“Hey, boss, Mrs. Andersen called while you were gone—”

“Take a message.”

“I did. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

“Tell me later.” Nolan slammed the office door in Skeeter’s bemused face.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Hannah said.

Like the day before, he pinned her to the door with the weight of his big body pressed against her. “I’ll apologize later.” He tipped his head and dropped a series of kisses along the column of her neck. “I’m addicted to the way you smell, the way you taste.” He dragged his tongue lightly over her neck, making her shudder.

With her fingers curled into his belt loops, she held on for dear life as she felt the sharp bite of his teeth. She gasped and arched against him, desperate for more.

“His truck is here,” a familiar voice said from the outer office. “I know he’s here somewhere.”

“Um, I wouldn’t go in there,” Skeeter said. “He’s . . . um . . . busy.”

“Goddamn it,” Nolan whispered.

“Is that Mrs. Andersen?” Hannah whispered back.

“The one and only. She’s an auto-hypochondriac. Always thinks something is wrong with her car and nothing ever is.”

“She’s got a crush on you.”

He drew back from her. “What?”

“That’s why she makes up problems with her car—so she can see you.”

“That is so not true.”

Smiling, Hannah tugged him by the hair, urging him to kiss her while he still could.

As his lips slid over hers, a loud pounding sounded on the door. “Nolan! It’s Mrs. Andersen. I need to speak with you about Sadie.”

“The car has a name?” Hannah whispered.

He rolled his eyes.

Hannah snuggled tighter against the erection that pulsed against her stomach, drawing a tortured gasp from him.

“Maybe I can help you,” Skeeter said.

“I don’t want
you
,” Mrs. Anderson said disdainfully. “I want
him
.”

“Told you,” Hannah whispered.

Groaning in frustration, Nolan stepped back from her and ran his fingers repeatedly through his hair, as if trying to regain his sanity. “We’re still on for tonight, right?”

“Absolutely. I’ll see you after your meeting.”

He sat back against the desk, gazing at her.

“So what did I leave here yesterday?”

“Me.”

Smiling, she crossed the small space to him, stepped between his outstretched legs and put her arms around his neck. “You were right. That was something important.”

“Is it later yet?” he asked with a sigh.

“Not yet, but it’ll be here before you know it, and I’ll be ready.”

He nuzzled a sensitive spot by her ear, setting off a series of tremors that had her nipples tightening. “Don’t forget the jeans.”

“They’re in the dryer as we speak.”

After a groan filled with anticipation and one last tight squeeze, Nolan let her go. “See you soon.”

“Yes, you will.”

“Poor Mrs. Anderson. She’ll be crushed when she sees you come out of here.”

Hannah patted his face. “Let her down easy, and tell her you’re taken.”

He surprised her when he took hold of her hand and touched his lips to her palm. Looking up at her, he said, “Am I?”

“What?” she asked, breathless after the shockingly erotic brush of his tongue against her sensitive palm.

“Taken?”

“Yes, you are.”

With his hands now on her face he kissed her softly. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to be taken by you.”

A shudder of desire rippled through her entire body.

“You’d better go before I forget where we are,” he said gruffly.

“Right.” Hannah picked up her purse and hooked it over her shoulder, her hands trembling slightly. She forced herself to meet his gaze, which was still intensely focused on her. “I’m happy to be taken by you, too.”

Somehow her legs responded to her order to move. Somehow she managed to walk out of his office, where she said a quick hello to her neighbor, Mrs. Andersen, but kept moving so the older woman wouldn’t have a chance to grill her about why she’d been holed up in Nolan’s office.

Somehow she managed to walk across the street to the store to drop off the jewelry she’d forgotten to give Will when she saw him earlier. The upstairs offices were oddly deserted, so she left her parcel on Will’s desk and went downstairs to the store. She had a cider donut as she caught up with Dottie, who ran the donut counter, and smiled at the gaggle of women who’d gathered in front of her father’s legendary display of Beatles memorabilia.

“Busy day?” she asked Dottie.

“Exceptionally busy. Just the way we like it.”

Hannah looked around the Green Mountain Country Store, where every inch of space was as familiar to her as anything in her life. The sights, the scents, the products, the barrels of peanuts and pickles, and the wooden beams that held the place together were hardwired into her DNA. The store was as much her “home” as the red barn where she’d been raised and the Victorian where she’d lived so happily with Caleb.

His name passing through her mind triggered a reminder about the journals that waited for her at home and snapped her out of the fog she’d been in since she left Nolan.

“So . . . a little birdie told me you might be dating again?” Dottie asked with a hopeful smile on her kind face.

“Maybe.”

“If the rumors are true, you’ve chosen a very fine young man.”

Since she didn’t want to talk about her relationship with Nolan and was unsettled by the prospect of others talking about it, she offered Dottie a small smile and a nod of agreement before she said her good-byes.

Hannah walked to her car, got in and took a moment to collect her thoughts. Watching people she’d known all her life walk past on the sidewalk, it became clear to her that she needed to speak to Caleb’s parents about Nolan—before someone else did.

CHAPTER 14