I'd Rather Be Single 2 (19 page)

I ran toward
her. “Dalia, what are you doing? Come home with me. This is crazy.”

“Nooo!!!! She said pointing the gun at Seary’s window.

I felt tears leaving my eyes. My friend wasn’t herself, her sickness and the medication had taken over. I couldn’t allow her to put herself in this predicament over a man. She didn’t deserve this shit. So I continued to bargain with her.

“Dalia please, come with me before the police come
.” She was shaking her head fast, looking at Seary’s house. I seriously didn’t want my friend to go to jail. Seary’s gay ass wasn’t worth losing her freedom for.

The crowd was now
scattered. No one knew what she was about to do with that gun, but she appeared totally deranged. She glanced back and forth between me and Seary’s house. The look in her eyes was unfamiliar to me, as if she didn’t even know who I was.

“Dalia,
he’s not worth losing your freedom for. You will find someone who really loves you, I promise.”

“Yeah fucking right
! There are no men that really loves a woman. They are either gay, cheating or fucking liars!!! Now come out of the fucking house Searyyyyyy!!!” She bust a shot into the air.

“No
babe, that’s not true. Give me the gun, Dalia, please.”

She pulled on her hair with one hand and held the gun
pointed at Seary’s window with the other.

“I’m tired of fighting for love. I really loved him
, Tyra, I gave him all of me. My heart can’t fight anymore.” Her lifeless eyes met mine, and then she placed the gun to her temple.

“Maybe I belong with my mother
. Maybe in death, I’ll finally find true love because I fought for it, but I just couldn’t find it here.”

“You’ll find true love one day
, Dalia, I promise. Please don’t do this, I love you so much.”

“It’s too late
. I’m tired, Tyra.” The fragile look in her eyes told me that I had lost her. “Tell my dad I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes. “I’m coming Mommy.” she said.

Her finger mashed
the trigger.

“What are you doing Dalia
? Noooooooooooooooo!!”

POW!

Her body trembled to the ground.

In tears,
I rushed to her side and lifted her head in my lap. “Somebody help us!” I screamed at the crowd hovering over to see my friend’s dying body. “Stop being fuckin’ nosy and call the police!” I hollered.

“
Hang in there, Dalia. You are going to be okay, babe. You are going to get through this, baby. Somebody help us!!” I cried hysterically.

Dalia was
gasping for air and choking on her own blood. Her eyes looked shocked like she didn’t mean to do what she did. Blood was seeping through my jogging pants and I rocked her in my lap. “Call the police! Pleeaaase. Help her, she doesn’t deserve this, please.” I was crying so hard, my body hurt.

I rubbed her hair. “I promise babe, after you recover, we are going to go home, play some turn-up music and laugh like none of this ever happened.
Okay?”

A half smile adorned her face
, and then, she took in her last breath.

“Nooo, wake up Dalia!!!” But it was too late, she was gone.
I closed my eyes, and warm tears melted down my face. It was over, my friend was dead. I rubbed my hands over her eyes to close them and kept her head in my lap. Seary came running out the house.

“Dalia!!!! What the fuck babe, what did you do?”
He was crying hard.

“You stay backkkkk!!!” I cried.

I was pissed at that nigga! I blamed him for what had just happened. I wanted to grab the gun and blast his ass in the head. He had such a good woman; she would do anything for him. If he knew he wanted to stick his dick in men, he shouldn’t have led my friend on.

I heard the sirens nearing
as I rocked my friend back and forth in my lap. Tears paraded down my cheeks and everything went in slow motion from there. My heart felt like it was beating slowly. I heard the slow thumps in my ears. I kissed Dalia on her cheek; it was still warm. An EMT worker with plastic gloves on stood me to my feet after they placed Dalia on the stretcher.

“Maam, can you tell us what happened?” I couldn’t talk
. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I was numb. I spotted Breal in the crowd with her hands up to her face trying to fight her tears as they placed a white sheet over Dalia’s body.

“Daliaaaa!!!” Seary shouted before fainting on his front lawn.

The EMT workers rushed to place him on one of the stretchers and took him away to the hospital as well. A bad dream was what this moment felt like. This shit wasn’t supposed to happen. Dalia was the last person to deserve what happened to her, and I was devastated. I knew she had a sickness, but I would never have thought she would take her own life, just to be loved by a man.

The Funeral

The gut-wrenching walk up to the casket was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My heart felt like a sharp blade in my chest, cutting into me the closer I got to the closed casket. Each step felt like I was walking on a cloud, floating because my body was numb. I drowned out all of the cries from the crowd and only heard my own.

“I love you
, Dalia.” I rubbed my hand over the top of the crème casket and let out a loud cry. “Aaahhhhh!!!” I cried all the way down to my knees. I couldn’t maintain control of my body. Reality was sinking in more than ever. I'd never lost anyone that close to me before.

I felt Breal's hands under my arms
trying to stand me up. "Come on, Tyra."

"She was my sister
, Breal!"

Breal broke eye contact
, tucked in her lips and tried to stay strong for me. She took my hand. "We’ll get through this, Tyra." She led us to two empty seats next to Dalia's father.

Before I sat down, in
the back of the funeral home, I saw Dalia's ex-boyfriend Stax wearing the most evil face I've ever saw. He had his black hood over his head, and I swear it seemed that there was no one else in the room but him. He was like a red devil in a room full of angels, that's how dominating his presence was. His chest was pumping in and out as if he was trying to fight his tears, but they still fell from his red eyes. He was biting on his lips, fighting back his emotion, but this loss was getting the best of him.

I
sat down beside Breal, and we held each other and exchanged words of comfort. My beautiful friend, Dalia, was in front of us in a closed casket because the damage to her head was too much for the funeral home to repair. Before the funeral, her father asked me to send some of the latest pictures of Dalia so that he could use them to display at the funeral. I sent him a few pictures of Dalia, some by herself and some with us in it. He chose a picture that Breal, Dalia and I took at the football camp. Our smiles were so refreshing in the picture, especially Dalia's, because it was one of the best times of her life. She loved Seary so hard, he became her life and it was everything she wanted.

Deep loud cries filled the funeral home. The type of cries that only a tortured person could
release; loud and obnoxious. When I looked back, I noticed that it was Seary coming to pay his respects to my fallen friend. Mavis and one of his teammates each held one of his arms. The trio wore black suits and Seary wore dark glasses to hide his eyes.

"She was my baby
, man. Why man! This can’t be real, dog.” he cried. He stretched his hands over the casket once he got to it. “I love you sunshine, always will.”

I swallowed the
hard knot in my throat. I really believed him, I honestly felt that he felt the same love to Dalia that she had for him. His sexual preference may have been on the down low, but there was no denying the love they shared. I’m sure he blamed himself for what happened to Dalia, and although I also blamed him, the underlying issue was Dalia’s sickness.

I cried my way home from the funeral.
Breal offered to come keep me company, but I wanted to be alone. I pulled into the parking garage at home and cried. I banged my fists against my steering wheel until my knuckles were red.

“
This wasn't supposed to happen! I miss you so much, Dalia! I need you here.” I was crying so hard that I started choking, I was so hurt. I used this time alone to let out all of my emotion. All of my anger, all my frustration, all my hurt was channeled through these tears. I grabbed a Kleenex from my dashboard to wipe my nose, and exited my car.

BOOM!

My back was slammed against the concrete walls away from the cameras.

"How the FUCK did you let this happen
, bitch! How the fuck did you let her die?" Stax removed his hoodie man and his red eyes drew tears. Snot was dripping from his nose and he held a small, sharp knife to my neck telling me not to move.

I held my hands up. "Why are you blaming me for this
, Stax?"

"Because if she never moved here with you
, she would have never left me. This shit would have never happened if it wasn’t for you. I loved her, I could've prevented this."

He pressed the knife closer to my neck, cutting into my skin. I thought I was about to die.
I could smell the stench of weed and funk both reeking from his clothes. I knew this was a battle that I couldn't win, so I had to put on my game face and devise a plan to get me out of this.

"Listen
Stax, we can talk about this when we both are calm. Okay? We just lost Dalia. Trust me, I’m hurting too. She was like my sister, Stax. You don't want to do this."

He
took the knife away from my neck and tossed it across the parking lot.

“Aaahhh!!” He pitched a bold, deep cry. He turned away from me and
bent to his knees, crying into his hands. "That was my baby, man." I heard him whisper.

I started to cry too, I felt his pain but I
was scared of him at the same time. I slowly crept behind him and rubbed his shoulder. I wanted to assure him that I was on his side. "Take my number, Stax. I'm sure you need someone to be there for you. I really considered her to be more of a sister rather than a friend and if you're feeling the same pain that I'm feeling, then we need to be there for each other."

He stood up
and faced me, wearing the same red evil eyes, and I thought he was about to kill me. He reached in his pocket and I stepped back. I was bracing myself for his next weapon. Instead, he pulled out his phone and I let out a silent sigh of relief. We exchanged numbers and I escaped into the house.

Once I got inside,
I locked every single lock on my door, just in case Stax changed his mind and wanted to take his anger out on me. I leaned my back against the door and was suffocated with Dalia's presence in my apartment. I ran to the toilet and started crying and vomiting. I wasn’t handling this grieving process well at all.

I gathered some courage to go into her room
, and I snatched one of her pillows off her bed. I lay in my bed holding the pillow and talking to her as if she was there. "I’m so mad at you, Dalia. Who is going to listen to turn-up music with me now? Who is going to listen to me when I need to vent? Why did you do this to yourself?" My tears soaked the pillow and I ended up crying myself to sleep.

Dalia’s father hit me up bright and early. He wanted to know if
6:00pm was a good time to come get Dalia's belongings, and I agreed. He said that he was too weak to move the furniture himself, and that he would send movers over to collect them. When they got to my crib, I had to shut my bedroom door because once I saw them carrying out Dalia’s mattress, it hit me like a ton of bricks that she was actually not coming back.

M
y phone was exploding with text messages and missed calls, but I didn’t bother to answer it for anyone. The dental office in particular was blowing me up, mainly because I had missed my shift and I didn't bother to call to tell them that I wasn't coming in. I was too mentally drained to be around anyone, and I didn't feel like explaining myself. My puffy eyes almost scared me when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There were bags both on the top and bottom of my eyes, my ponytail was bushy and I still had on the same black dress that I wore to the funeral. It was evident that I had to get myself together, but I didn't have the strength to. I cuddled in bed with Dalia’s pillow. I just wanted to cry and sleep the day away.

Knock! Knock!

"Come in." I answered in a quiet tone. I didn't even have the strength to pitch my voice.

“Excuse me
, Tyra. We are done moving everything out. There is a gentleman here to see you, I wasn’t sure if we should let him in.”

I sat up in my bed
, hoping that Stax hadn’t returned to finish the job. But when Michael walked in behind the Mexican mover, joy ignited a flame in my soul when I saw him.

"Hey, I came to check on you."
He placed flowers that he bought for me on my dresser.

Strength somehow found
me, because I escaped my bed and jumped into his arms in an instant.