If You Love Me (3 page)

“I love you, baby,” she whispered.

She lay awake remembering the dream,
piecing it all together. Convinced the dream had been the result of the latest
argument with Adam, she knew it had been the universe’s way of telling her she
was right where she needed to be with the man she was intended to be with.

Adam, sweet, loving Adam, the
husband who prefers staying home with me on the weekends to partying around
town,
she thought.
So
what if he forgets to take out the trash or leaves his socks on the bedroom
floor. In the grand scheme of things, he’s all I’ve ever wanted. From now on,
I’m not going to worry about the little annoyances. He’s mine. I love him and
he loves me. He’s faithful and devoted. I have everything I’ve ever wanted and
was too stupid to see it.

She snuggled closer to him and
drifted back to sleep, content and happy for the first time in months.

Chapter
Three

Adam raked his hand through his hair
for the second time that night. He’d just had another awful fight with his
little brunette spitfire of a wife, Ashley. He’d said some things in anger he
wished he could take back, but the damage had been done. As he rubbed his
cheek, still stinging from her slap, he sighed.
I’ve done it now. I’ve
pretty much given her carte blanche to go after that asshole, Ross. I’ve lost
her. If she finds him, she’ll move heaven and earth to get him back in her
life. I’ve always known she still carries a torch for the guy.
Adam had hoped he could light a torch of his
own, to extinguish the one Ross left behind, but that night, he resigned
himself to the fact it wasn’t to be.

What is it they say? If you love
someone, let them go. If it’s real, they’ll come back to you. I’ll let her go
and hope she’ll come back to me, but I won’t hold my breath.

Sadly, he waited until he was sure
she was asleep before going to bed. He had intended to have one last night with
her before going through with his plan to give her some space. But when he’d
gone to bed, she was tossing about in the bed, apparently dreaming. And when
she’d said Ross’s name, he knew who she was dreaming about. It wasn’t her
husband. It was the one who got away, the one he’d told her to go find.

He’d rolled over and feigned sleep
since real sleep was out of the question. And when she’d thrown her arms around
him later and said the words “I love you, baby,” he nearly lost it completely
knowing she thought she was talking to Ross, not him.

He lay there until the wee morning
hours, when he crept quietly out of bed, so as not to wake her. He packed a bag
and wrote a note, leaving it on the bathroom counter where she’d be sure to see
it when she got up. As he started to leave, he stopped, walked back to the bed
and leaning down, gently kissed her on the forehead. He smoothed the hair on
her brow and whispered in her ear, “I love you more than you know, baby.”

He drove to the apartment he and his
younger brother had shared, letting himself in with the key he’d kept when he
married Ashley. He collapsed on the couch, waiting for his brother to get up so
he could ask him if he could crash there until further notice. He hated the
fact that Dillon would undoubtedly say “I told you so,” but right now he just
needed a roof over his head. A place he could lay his head and lick his wounds.

****

Ashley sat up and looked around.
Glancing at the clock on the nightstand beside the bed, she saw it was nine
o’clock. When she had finally fallen asleep and it had been a good, refreshing
sleep. It was Saturday and she was ready to start the first day of the rest of
her life, showing her husband how much she loved their life together. He was
already up, apparently, so she padded into the bathroom to wash her face and
brush her teeth before going to find him. When she located him, she intended to
give him a kiss filled with passion and promise and to lure him back into bed
with her.

She saw the note on the counter and
smiled.
He must have gone out this morning and left me a note to let me know
where he is. He’s so thoughtful, why haven’t I realized it before now?

But when she opened the note and
read the words scrawled on the paper, her smile quickly turned to tears. She
read the words three times, before their meaning finally soaked in. “No!” She
spoke aloud as sat down on the edge of the bathtub with her head in her hands.
“What have I done?”

Baby,

After last night I think we both
know we can’t go on like this. It’s tearing us both apart, little by little. We
need a break from each other and from all the tension. You need to figure out
what or who you want once and for all. I love you but I can’t hold you back if
you don’t really want to be with me. So do whatever you need to do. I won’t
stand in your way. If you find your way back to me, my prayers will be
answered. But if you decide you need to move on, I’ll give you your freedom without
a fight. We’ve done enough fighting to last a lifetime. I’ll be at Dillon’s but
don’t try to call or come by. Take this time to think about everything and I’ll
do the same. We’ll talk about where we go from here when the time is right.

Until then, be safe, my love.

Adam

Her first instinct was to call him
and tell him to get his ass back home where he belonged. But she stopped
herself before she finished dialing his number. She went to the kitchen and
made a pot of strong, black coffee. Sitting on the couch with a mug of the
steaming brew, she thought about her next move.

Finally, she called her friend, Amy,
and asked her to come over. She told her she needed a friend and that’s all it
took for Amy to drop what she was doing and head her way.

When Amy showed up at the front
door, Ashley met her with a tear-stained face.

“Thanks for coming.”

“What’s happened, Ash? I haven’t
seen you this upset since jerk-boy ran out on you. Oh, no, don’t tell me…you
and Adam are fighting again?”

Ashley nodded sadly. “I’m afraid
we’ve had the fight to end all fights this time. A real knock-down, drag-out,
so bad that he packed his bags and went to crash at Dillon’s place.”

“Not Adam? I can’t believe he’d do
that. Adam is crazy in love with you, why would he walk out like that?”

“He has this crazy notion I’m still
pining away for Ross. He told me to go after the ‘one who got away.’ He said he
wouldn’t stand in my way any longer. I have to admit, there’ve been times I’ve
wondered what might have been if Ross had reacted differently to my ultimatum
that night, but I honestly love Adam. I guess I haven’t shown him that
recently. Now it may be too late.”

“Give him some time to get over the
fight, but you won’t try to find Ross, will you?”

“Oh, God no, Amy, I can’t even
believe you asked me that. Actually, I had a dream last night that pretty well
showed me what my life would have been like if I’d married Ross. I have to say,
it was a real wake-up call for me. Everything I’ve been griping about with
Adam, all the little things, were exactly what was missing with Ross. And
they’re the things I’ve realized I want…with Adam. I want the life we have, not
some idealistic dream life with Ross. If I’d married Ross, I have the feeling
it would have been a less than perfect union to say the least.”

“And you would have told Adam that
this morning, if he’d been here when you woke up,” Amy said, finishing Ashley’s
thoughts.

“Yes, exactly I thought about
calling him and telling him to come home so we could talk, but it’s too soon.
I’ve hurt him terribly and I’ve got to give him some time.”

“Don’t wait too long. He may think
you really do want your freedom,” Amy advised.

“I know, but I’ve got to tread on
eggshells right now,” Ashley replied sadly. “That’s my own fault but I can’t do
anything to upset Adam even more. I’ve got to be very careful until I can
convince him to listen to what I have to say.”

“Well, girlfriend, I’m here anytime
you need to vent. I’m sure Dillon is getting an earful from Adam right about
now, too.”

“I’m sure he is, and probably
telling Adam he was right about me all along.”

“He still doesn’t like you?”

“It isn’t that he doesn’t like me.
He thinks Adam and I rushed into marriage. He was expecting us to fail.”

“I always liked Dillon.”

“I know, Adam and I thought about
setting you guys up, but it just never happened.”

“Hmm…maybe I can use my friendship
with Dillon to your advantage, as well as my own.”

“What are you hatching in that brain
of yours?”

“Dillon and I flirt with each other,
that’s no secret. Maybe I can accidentally, on purpose, run into him, say at
the gym. I can steer the conversation to the two of you and see what he has to
say on the matter.”

“He might not say much but I guess
it’s worth a try.”

“I’m going to ask you one more time
and I want you to be honest with me. Are you sure…you love Adam, not Ross?”

“I love Adam with all my heart. I
know now Ross was not the man I was supposed to spend my life with. Adam is…and
I have to make him see that, somehow.”

“There’s something you need to know,
and it might make things more difficult.”

“How could they get any more
difficult, Amy?” Ashley asked, as she poured a fresh cup of coffee for both of
them.

“Thanks,” Amy said as she accepted
the mug. “Ash, you should know, Ross is back in town. I ran into him yesterday
at the mall.”

“What? After all this time he’s come
back? And why now of all times?” she asked.

“I know. It sucks for you because if
Adam finds out, he may think Ross is back for you. It’s really bad timing.”

“I’ll say. I need to have that talk
with Adam real soon.”

“Let’s just hope Adam doesn’t run
into Ross before that. There may be some fireworks and not the good kind,” Amy
replied.

“My life just got ten times more
complicated. Two hours ago I wouldn’t have thought that was possible.” Ashley
sighed. “I think I feel a migraine coming on.”

“I think you need to try and get
some sleep, honey. I figure you didn’t get much last night. Maybe later, after
you’ve had some rest, things will look better. You’ll be able to think more
clearly. I’m going to make myself scarce. Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Amy. And thanks for giving
me the heads up on Ross. I would have hated to have run into him unexpectedly.”

“That wouldn’t have been good,” Amy
agreed.

After her friend had gone, Ashley
curled up on the sofa with a pillow and blanket and napped for most of the
afternoon.

Chapter
Four

The next
week Ashley went to work, returning home each evening to an empty house. She
waited until bedtime each night for a call from Adam that never came. When Amy
called on Friday afternoon urging her to get out of the house, she reluctantly
agreed.

“I thought
we could check out that new club downtown. I hear there’s a band playing
tonight that’s supposed to be pretty good,” Amy said.

“I’m not
really in the mood for a crowd, but I can’t sit here alone one more night
waiting for Adam to call. I’ll go, but I won’t guarantee I’ll have fun,” Ashley
replied.

When Amy
picked her up, Ashley ran out the door and got into her friend’s white Chevy Malibu.
“I don’t know why I let you talk me into this,” she said while buckling her
seatbelt.

“Because
you need to get out of that house for a few hours,” Amy replied. “I don’t know
why you don’t just call Adam.”

“I can’t.
He said we needed space and I’m giving it to him.”

“But he
thinks you want the space to go chasing after Ross,” Amy reminded her gently.

“He said
in his note we’d talk when the time was right so I’m waiting for the right
time.”

“You’re as
stubborn as he is. It’s no wonder the two of you butt heads over the silliest
things.”

When they
walked into the club they found a table near the stage. After ordering drinks,
the two friends settled in to wait for the band to begin playing. As Amy looked
around the room, she gasped.

“What’s
wrong with you, Amy?” Ashley asked.

“Don’t
look now but Ross is on the other side of the room and I think he just spotted
us,” Amy replied with a grimace.

“Oh, crap,
that’s all I need,” Ashley replied, rubbing her palms on her jeans as she
looked down. “Maybe he didn’t see us.”

“Too late,
he’s heading our way.”

The waitress
brought their drinks and Ashley took a sip of her beer she told Amy to talk to
her.

“Just act
normal.”

“How in
the world can anything be normal about this?” Ashley asked as she took another
drink.

“Ashley,
Amy, how are the two of you? I can’t believe my luck, running into you here
tonight,” the deep, masculine voice said.