If You Love Me (2 page)

“I want to get married. We’ve been
together two years now. We’re good together, you can’t deny that.”

“I can’t deny we’re hot together,
babe, but I don’t know about this whole marriage gig. I don’t think it’s for
me.”

“Not for you? If you love me as much
as you say you do, there wouldn’t be any hesitation. Either you want to spend
the rest of our lives together or you don’t. You have to decide.”

“Are you giving me an ultimatum? Are
you saying I have to decide tonight?”

 
“Yes, I guess I am. I love you and I feel the
time has come for us to move to the next level.”

He’d looked at her long and hard. “Then
I guess this is goodbye, Ashley. It’s been fun but I can’t give you what you’re
asking for.” He’d leaned over, kissed her, and walked out the door, leaving a
broken-hearted Ashley behind.

When he hadn’t called her over the
next few days, she’d gone to his place. His neighbor told her he’d left town.
“Just packed up all his stuff and drove off. The landlord’s already got someone
else lined up to rent his apartment.”

Ashley had driven home, blinded by
her tears. For six months she mourned the loss of Ross in her life. Finally,
resigning herself to the fact he was never coming back, she forced herself to
attend a party one night with a friend. It had been at that fateful party she
had met Adam Brant. Adam was a hunk, to say the least. Ruggedly handsome, with
reddish-brown hair, midnight blue eyes, and a smile that could melt any girl’s
heart. He was tall, but not as tall as Ross, stockier built, but all muscle,
not an ounce of fat on his gorgeous body. He’d made her laugh as they’d shared
a drink and pleasant conversation that night. At the end of the evening, he’d
asked for her phone number and told her he’d like to see her again.

“I’d like that, too. Call me,” she’d
said as they said goodbye.

The rest, as they say, was history.
They began dating, and within three months, he’d asked her to become his wife.
Two years with Ross and he hadn’t been ready to commit but after three months
of bliss, Adam knew he wanted to spend eternity with her. Now, tonight, after
this last argument, she had to wonder
. Did I rush into this marriage because
I was so touched by the sudden proposal or was it truly meant to be?
Was Adam right, had she never really gotten
over Ross?
No, it’s just not true, I love Adam. Sure, I’ll always wonder
what might have been but my life is with Adam…isn’t it?

When Adam hadn’t come to bed by
midnight, Ashley rolled over and attempted to fall asleep. Normally after one
of their frequent arguments, he gave her some time to simmer down before
joining her in the bedroom to make up. Apparently he was still angry with her.
Ashley began to cry again, burying her face in the pillow as she realized her
world might very well be headed for a shake-up once more.

Ashley finally cried herself to
sleep. It was a deep, fitful sleep, as she tossed and turned. And as she fell
deeper into oblivion she began to dream about a night long ago and what might
have been.

Chapter
Two

Ashley found herself scurrying about
the apartment. It was Friday and Ross would be here any minute.
Tonight’s
the night
, she told herself.
Tonight he’s not going to steer the
conversation away from our future. This is the night I’m getting engaged to the
love of my life.

She finished straightening up the
living room and went into the kitchen to check on dinner. She had offered to
cook for the two of them and a romantic evening at home was part of the plan.
As she stirred the pasta sauce, she hummed to herself.
Here comes the bride…

As she heard his familiar knock on
her door, she grinned. “Hey, hot stuff, ready for my spicy pasta sauce?”

He leaned in and kissed her as he
walked in the door. “I’m ready for some spice but I’m not talking about pasta,
sweet thing.”

“Dinner first, spicy love later,”
she teased.

“Damn, woman, you’re cruel. Come
here and let me warm you up. You might decide to try spicy love first and spicy
pasta later.”

She giggled as she walked into the
kitchen, followed by her lover.

“On second thought, that smells
pretty damn good. Maybe I
will
eat first.” He took the wooden spoon from
the counter and helped himself to a sample of her homemade sauce.

As she playfully smacked his hand,
she set the table and picked up a book of matches. She lit the candles and
turned to him. “Tonight’s a special night for us, Ross. You just wait and see.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that. How
about a teaser before dinner?”

“Behave,” she said, laughing.

After he had devoured two helpings
of pasta, a salad, and three breadsticks, she offered chocolate mousse for
dessert.

“You’re spoiling me, sweet thing.”

“That was the general idea. You
know, I could spoil you like this every night if we were married. You might
want to think about that the next time you say marriage isn’t for you,” she
said.

“I’ve been thinking about that. Maybe
we should discuss it.”

“I was hoping we could do that
tonight,” she replied, smiling sweetly.

“Let me help you with the dishes
then we’ll get comfy and I promise, we’ll talk about it,” he said as he got up
from the table and began clearing the dishes.

Not used to him helping her in the
kitchen, Ashley stood back for a minute watching.

“What’s the matter, babe?” he asked.

“Er…nothing…” she replied as she
walked to the sink.

“Ah, you’re not used to seeing me
helping out. That’s all going to change, sweet thing. You’re going to see a
whole new side of this boy from now on. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking
lately.”

 
“Ashley, marry me. I know you’re not going to
let up on this. One of us has to compromise. I know you’re not going to back
down. If I want to keep you in my life, I need to change my ways, so let’s do
it.”

“Are you serious?” she asked.

“As a heart attack,” he replied,
grinning. “And I can prove it.” He picked his shirt up off the floor and took a
small box out of the pocket. He handed it to her.

When she opened it, she gasped.
Inside the small velvet box sat a small diamond solitaire in a yellow-gold
setting. She took it out of the box and put it on her finger.

“Does it fit?” he asked.

“Perfectly,” she answered with tears
in her eyes.

“Don’t I get a kiss for this?” he
teased.

She leaned up for the kiss to seal
the deal. There was no more discussion that night about the wedding.

In fact, there was no more
discussion about the wedding for several weeks. It was almost as though Ross
had bought the ring to appease her. Now he could postpone the marriage a while
longer. But Ashley was too happy to care. She quickly dismissed that thought
from her mind, as she happily went about her daily routine, reserving her
nights for her hot, young fiancé.

After a few months went by, Ashley
gingerly brought up the subject of setting a date. Ross didn’t balk as she
feared he might. He said he’d go along with whatever she wanted. She could plan
everything and he would do his part. He would show up at the altar. And that
was exactly what he did. He wasn’t there for any of the planning or shopping.
He planned to move into her apartment after the wedding. As far as she knew, he
was still partying with his friends while she and her friends planned the big
event.

Let him have his fun,
she told herself.
He’ll settle
down after the wedding.

The week before the wedding, he
began slowly moving his things into her place. It didn’t seem as if he was
bringing much but she assumed he’d gotten rid of some things while he was
packing up his apartment for the move.

Everything went as planned. The
wedding was perfect. And the honeymoon… hot and steamy.

When they settled into a routine
afterward, things seemed fine. They worked during the day and made love at
night. After a few months, though, Ashley could tell Ross was feeling antsy,
and didn’t raise a fuss when he told her he was going out with the guys for a
drink and some pool after work one night. After all, she’d gotten him to the
altar without much of a fuss; she couldn’t keep him tied to her all the time.
Believing if she gave him breathing room, he’d be a better husband, she made
plans of her own. She took in a movie with her friend, Amy.

When he’d come home that night, he’d
rolled over and gone to sleep with nothing more than a goodnight kiss for the
first time…ever.

Things were going along splendidly
as far as Ashley could tell. Their first holiday season as a married couple had
been spectacular. On New Year’s Eve, at a local dance, Ashley felt as if every
female in the room wanted to trade places with her. He took her home in the wee
hours of the morning and carried her to bed as she was just a little tipsy from
the champagne.

Ross undressed her gently and tucked
her in. He brought aspirin and water from the bathroom and made her take two of
them. “So you don’t get sick, babe.”

She obeyed and lay back on the pillows.
Within minutes, she was passed out. When she woke up a few hours later, Ross
was not in bed with her. She got up to find him. He was on the computer. When
he heard her walk in, he quickly turned it off and turned to her. “Feeling
better, sweet thing?”

“Yes, come to bed. We need to ring
in the New Year right.”

“Now that’s an offer I can’t
refuse.” He got up and followed her back to the bedroom.

When he crawled in bed beside her,
she quickly rolled on top of him and kissed him. Scraping her tongue across his
teeth, he allowed access by opening his mouth. He devoured her with a steamy
kiss as he began caressing her back. As she sat up and straddled him, his eyes
widened. “You’re really ready to go, aren’t you, babe?”

“Oh, yeah, hot stuff,” she replied
as she positioned herself for the ride. She put her hands on his chest and
began masterfully caressing him. He was inside her, but she hadn’t begun to
move. She teased him by caressing him and leaning down to kiss him again. He
reciprocated by tweaking her already hard nipples before rubbing her bottom.
Playfully smacking her, she grinned devilishly and began the ride, slowly at
first. Building momentum, she was in total control as he allowed her to freely
abandon herself to him. And when the climax came, it was a combination of New
Year’s Eve and Fourth of July fireworks for both of them, the grand finale of
sensation.

Ashley was in heaven that year,
enjoying the sweetness of being a newlywed. Ross’s nights out with the guys
were more frequent. Often, she found him on his phone, or on the computer, but
Ashley blindly ignored the facts staring her boldly in the face.

Occasionally on the weekends, she
found herself wishing they’d just stay in, but he was always ready to party.
They were almost always at a club or a party with friends. Still, Ashley didn’t
give a thought to the fact that Ross barely spent time alone with her these
days.

Until one day she was getting his
clothes ready for the laundry. As she cleaned out the pockets of his jeans, she
felt a piece of paper in one of them. Taking it out, she was going to pitch it
in the trash but thought she’d better see if it was important first.

As she read the words written on the
paper she shook her head to clear her thoughts.
Surely I’m reading this
wrong.

But deep in her heart of hearts she
knew it was no mistake. Ross had been having an affair with someone named
Sheila since before they were married. Apparently it was still going on. So why
had he married her? Why not break things off and go to this Sheila person? Or
was he so devious he wanted both of them, and the only way to get that was to
keep Ashley happy by marrying her, while carrying on with Sheila on the side.
True, he had the sexual appetite to keep two women happy, but what was the real
story?

When she confronted him that night,
it all became crystal clear. Sheila was married. Marrying Ashley had been no
big deal to him. It was a way to have both his women while Sheila had both her
men. It all made sense, the nights out with the guys, when he’d come home and
turned his back to her, the nights of passion only when he was in the mood.
She’d let him lead the way, never dreaming he was playing her for a fool all
along. He never wanted to be home like a normal, young, married couple. He
always wanted to be in a crowd of friends. The picture-perfect marriage she’d
always wanted turned out to be nothing but a scam.
If only I’d found a guy
who loved me and only me. A husband who had eyes for only me and enjoyed an
evening at home with his wife, relaxing, playing, loving,
she thought to
herself.

And when Ashley awoke and looked
around, she was startled. It took a minute, but she finally realized it had all
been a dream. Her beloved Adam was asleep in bed beside her, the way it should
be. She leaned over and kissed him as he slept.