If You Still Want Me

By: C.E. Kilgore

Copyright 2014
Tracing The Stars at Smashwords
All Rights Reserved

Table Of Contents

Disclaimer

Beginning

Middle

End

The Stables Series

Book 1: All These Pieces of Me
Book 2: Obsessive Compulsion

Book 3: If You Still Want Me

Book 4: Pierce The Heart

Book 5: Crows Don't Sing

This book is a work of fiction. While references
might be made to locations, products or events, the names,
characters, places, products and events described in the book are a
work of fiction and any resemblance to actual persons, business
establishments, events or locations is entirely coincidental.

This book contains adult language and sexually
explicit scenes that might be considered offensive to some readers.
This book is intended for mature adult audiences, of adult age as
defined by the laws of the country in which this book was
purchased.

BDSM remains one of the most strongly
misunderstood lifestyles. I encourage anyone with an open mind to
learn more about BDSM, but I urge strong caution about gaining your
knowledge solely from the internet. The best place to start might
be your local adult shop. None of the practices mentioned in this
book should be attempted or tried without proper understanding and
guidance. Some of the key principles in BDSM are
trust,
teaching, technique
(practice) and
time
(patience).

Lastly, this book contains adult relationships
between three consenting individuals, including a homosexual male,
a bisexual male and a heterosexual female. If you find any of these
relationship or sexual orientation types offensive, then this is
not the book for you.

Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak
tree...

Aint no one ever said I was smart. Not my momma,
not my sister, not even my best friend Austin or my girl Victoria.
Heck, I don't have no hard feelings about it. Can't expect them to
lie. I've known for a long time just how stupid I really am.

Take my current state 'a affairs. Got my lame,
stupid-ass drunk after six years sober, beat up one friend,
destroyed my sister's livin' room while doin' it, then went out and
got my stupid-ass handed to me by a bunch 'a Forester's
trailer-born thugs. Now, I'm stuck in a damn hospital bed, wearing
one of them gowns with my ass-cheeks flappin' in the wind, and old
nurses who keep poking me with needles. Guess Vickie warned them
not to send in the cute nurses, on account 'a my sweet smile she
says can win over the Devil himself.

"Ow!" Speak 'a the Devil - I do believe one 'a
his hellions in runin' 'round Dallas General in a white nurse's
uniform. "How many times you gotta poke an' prod me like I'm some
heifer goin' through the chute?"

The nurse, who's gotta be 'round 'bout near
eighty, just smiles like she's my granny offering me a plate 'a
cookies. "It wouldn't hurt as much if you would hold still,
sweetie." She turns her attention back to the vial of blood she's
drawing from my arm. Maybe they's vampires. They damn sure took
enough 'a my blood to feed a family 'a six.

"Almost done," she coos in a sing-song voice.
The damn cookies are a lie, though, 'cause she tugs the needle
outta my arm in a jerk that has my whole body twitchin' like I'm
Ian. "There, was that so bad?"

Yes! Damn straight it was! "No, ma'am. Didn't
hurt none a'tall."

She pats my arm before slapping a cotton ball
and a band-aid over the puncture wound. I breathe sharply through a
clench-jawed, toothy grin ta' keep from screaming as she puts on
the band-aid. "Good boy. That should be the last of it. The doctor
wanted to make sure you were right as rain before releasing you
this afternoon."

Oh, thank you, Jesus! "So soon? Well, shoot.
Sure am gonna miss all your pretty faces."

"I'm sure, but you've already missed Christmas
with your family. Best get you out of here so you can spend New
Year's with someone special, right? Like that pretty girl who's
been coming to see you?"

She winks at me, and I can't help but blush.
"That's my girl Vickie."

At least, she
was
my
girl. I aint too sure what we are right now. Not after I went and
made a fool 'a myself. Not after I saw her an' Austin...

I push the thought aside so I can smile at the
old nurse as she leaves the room, but the thought comes right back
with the silence that follows. A cloud passes to cover the sunshine
beaming through the large window next to my bed, and my mood
darkens with it. My head is still messed up about the last few days
as my addled brain tries to grasp what I saw. I know I saw them
together. I know I saw her naked, and his hands on her, then all I
saw was red.

Austin's my best friend; been thick as thieves
since he became another one of the lost souls Brandon's helped over
the years. Something 'bout us just clicked, deeper than anything
between me and Ian or Kyle. Austin gets me and doesn't ever try to
tell me to grow up, or expect me to be anything other than what I
am; even if what I am is just a stupid ole country boy who never
quite crawled himself up outta that trailer park he was born
into.

He's a few years younger than the rest 'a us, so
maybe that's why he's never looked down on my marked-up sneakers,
or questions why I still play video games. I aint never questioned
his choices none, neither. I aint never beat up on him for beatin'
up Brandon and gettin' thrown in jail. He paid his time, he tried
to save Brandon in the end from more hurt, and he's been through
shit like me. I thought me an' him had ourselves an understanding.
I thought he considered me his best friend, too.

But a best friend don't touch a best friend's
girl.

Now, I know we was at The Stables, but Vickie
and I's been exclusive there since the beginning. If we do stuff
with others, we always do it together. Attached at the hip, we've
been called, and damn right, that's how it should be.

Victoria hangs my damn moon. She's my world,
from stars to sunshine and all the good stuff in between. Since we
was kids, I been stuck ta' her like glue and never ever thought
about separating. She's my girl, and I love her.

Things between us aint been exactly square since
I went and asked her to marry me. She turned me down, 'cause she's
smart. I wouldn't want ta' marry no stupid country boy, either. I
aint got shit to offer her, really, but all I could think of, as I
got down on one knee, was that I love her. We been together so
long, I just figured what the heck would be different about being
officially wed?

Apparently, a lot.

She'd said that she wasn't sure it was the right
decision and that I needed to stop an' think about it some more,
like I aint been thinkin' about it since I was old enough to
understand what marriage was. I think maybe she just didn't wanna
hurt my feelings. Her way 'a sayin' she loves me, but not enough to
commit herself to being stuck with my sorry ass for the rest 'a her
life.

'Course, knowing what I know now about her an'
Austin, maybe that was the real reason all along. She loves me, but
maybe she aint
in love
with me no more.
Maybe, she's in love with my best friend.

Well, don't that little revelation suck harder
than a leech on yer dick.

God fucking dammit! Why the heck couldn't I see
that one comin'? Oh, right, 'cause I'm a sorry, stupid
sonofabitch.

"Knock, knock."

My scowl raises away from the bare white wall in
front of me to find Brandon standing in the doorway, a hesitant
grin on his scarred-up face. I do my best to mirror his smile, but
the anger crawling under my skin won't give me any peace. "Hey,
boss."

He takes that as an invitation and walks farther
into the room. "How ya feeling?"

"I'm sure I look worse than I feel," I keep the
grin while pointing at my black eye.

"You still look better than Kyle."

That makes my scowl return for
a second before I'm able to produce an expected chuckle. I'm the
lighthearted one 'a the group who don't hold no grudges and can
laugh off any slight.
Right
. Then
that bastard sneaks around with my baby sissy while that other
bastard sneaks around with my Vickie.

Still, I grin like the fool I am. "He deserved
it."

"Not sayin' he didn't," Brandon stops at the
foot of my bed, his fingers tapping the metal rail.

The thick wedding band around his ring-finger
clinks. Not three damn months ago, I officiated his weddin' with
Emma, and here he is, standin' there like I know he's got somethin'
to say - somethin' I aint rightly sure I wanna hear.

I open my dumb mouth anyway. "How long?"

He stares at me, debating his answer, but I know
Brandon won't bullshit me. "Kyle's been officially dating Sarah
since she was fourteen, but they've been close longer than
that."

I choke, not entirely ready
for that.
Fourteen?
"And you knew."
It's a statement. The answer is written all over his fucked-up
face.

"We all did." He sighs, running a hand through
his hair while his big frame casts a shadow over my bed.

I may be tall enough to play pro-ball, but
Brandon's built like a damn bull. The light catches his brown eyes,
and I can see the war goin' on in them. He's hurtin' over this.

Good. At least I aint the only one.

"He's in love with her, Saul."

"Sure got him a funny way 'a showin' it." I cast
my scowl out the window. "Sneakin' around like a rat. He could'a at
least asked my permission."

"Would you have said yes?"

"Hell no!" I glare at him like he's dumber than
me. "And you know damn well why! That boy's dick seen more dropped
panties than Ron Jeremy. He aint good enough for my baby
sissy."

"And Rob is?"

"That sumbitch aint part 'a this conversation,
Brandon, though I'm thinkin' about makin' him part of it so he'll
pack his bags and leave Sarah in peace for good."

"You don't mean that."

"Don't tell me what I don't mean!" I'm madder
than a pissed-on hornet, but I swallow my anger as a nurse Pops her
head in the door with scowls directed at the both of us.

"Sorry, ma'am," Brandon apologizes to her like
the gentleman he is, and she titters with a coy little smile before
leaving. Even half-fucked-up, Brandon can make an old maid swoon.
He takes in a deep, audible breath, and I know I'm about to get
more truth than I want.

"I'm sorry for keeping it from you, but Kyle
swore us all to let him and Sarah keep their business to
themselves. It was going good, then something happened before we
left for college and-" He sighs. "She broke his heart, but he still
loves her, and she's letting him in. Stringing him along-"

"Careful what you say 'bout Sarah."

"I'm sorry, man, but you need to hear both
sides. You know Sarah's like kin to all of us. It's been tearing
all us up for years now, and with Rob's drinking... I just think
maybe you should talk to Kyle."

"Not unless he wants another conversation with
my fist," I mutter, but it's a shallow threat.

Brandon sighs heavily again, but I don't feel
sorry if I'm disappointing him. Everything around me right now has
been a disappointment, so he can join my fuckin' club. Well, not
everything, I guess. "Vickie tells me we get to plan for another
wedding?"

I can see he doesn't want to let the topic about
Kyle go, but he does. "Yup. Charlotte said yes."