If You're Not the One (19 page)

‘Maybe,' said Jennifer primly.

‘And after your Steve “jokes” the other day I'd better pull my finger out and show you that actually I can be quite useful to have around. Otherwise you might run off with the plumber.'

‘I doubt it,' said Jennifer. ‘You saw the last plumber we had round. Mick with no front teeth.'

‘True,' said Max. ‘He hardly lived up to “sweet” Steve's standards did he?'

Jennifer didn't reply. Steve had been sweet. Really sweet and there was no harm in that. He'd been her ‘one before the one' who could have been ‘the one' if fate hadn't stepped in and brought Max to her. Perhaps she should have stayed with him after all? He would never have spoken to her like Max had before.

‘Anyway, you sit down and I'll go and sign this form and then come back for you both.'

‘OK,' agreed Jennifer.

She sank into the plastic chair next to Eadie's bed and wondered how it would feel to deal with incidents like this as a single parent? Horrible no doubt. Terrifying in fact. Still Max had offered to take the day off tomorrow. It was a start and with a bit of luck she wouldn't have to set foot in a hospital again until the cast needed taking off, which suited her fine.

January 2000

Jennifer had been looking forward to her date with Steve all day, which was a good sign. First dates were usually horribly nerve-racking events but she wasn't dreading this one at all. They'd had a couple of fairly long chats on the phone already which helped. Both times the conversation had flowed easily and had given her an indication that the date would be enjoyable as opposed to a terrible ordeal.

She'd taken all the first date precautions of course. She'd washed her hair the night before, and when she'd got home from work to shower and change, she'd also shaved her armpits, sorted out her bikini line and legs and put on a sexy, matching bra and knickers. She certainly wasn't planning on sleeping with him tonight but would be prepared nevertheless. Just in case.

They'd agreed to meet at Pizza Express. Not very imaginative but at least she knew the food would be nice and that she could dress pretty casually. She was wearing boot-cut jeans with a top from Whistles and high-heeled
ankle boots. Despite feeling relatively confident she still had butterflies as she approached the restaurant at seven minutes past eight.

As soon as she walked in she spotted him. Good. She would have hated to have arrived first. She was quite taken aback by how good he looked. She'd remembered him as having a really nice face but actually on second sighting she realised he was far better looking than she remembered and had the sort of face most women would probably notice in a crowd. His eyes were really blue and you could tell that although he wore his hair short it wasn't because he was going bald but because he had a lovely shaped head, good bone structure and it simply suited him that way.

He waved at her as soon as he spotted her and got up from his seat which she thought was chivalrous. He'd obviously made an effort. He was wearing a shirt and looked clean and smelled of some nice herby aftershave.

‘Hi, you look nice,' he said, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

‘Thanks,' she said shyly, sitting down in the chair he'd just pulled out for her. His manners were impeccable.

‘Did you come straight from work?' he asked.

‘No,' replied Jennifer. ‘I popped home actually as I tend to have to wear suits and stuff to work. You know, really “officey” clothes.'

She decided it probably wasn't necessary to add ‘I
also needed to sort my pubic sideburns out.'

‘Cool,' he said. ‘Do you want a drink?'

‘Yeah definitely, I'll have a glass of white wine please.'

The waitress who had just come over scribbled this down. ‘And I'll have a coke please?' said Steve which Jennifer slightly cringed at. Fizzy drink for dinner? Really?

‘Are you not a big drinker then?' she asked, wondering what kind of a person it made her that she'd rather he was than wasn't. At university being able to drink huge amounts had almost been a badge of honour.

‘Not really. I quite like lager,' said Steve ‘But I'm not massively into wine if I'm honest.'

‘Fair enough,' said Jennifer.

‘So, tell me about yourself,' Steve started manfully. ‘How come a gorgeous girl like you is single?'

Pretty smooth, thought Jennifer. She grinned, flattered ‘Well, I was in quite a long-term relationship at university. Two and a half years to be precise.'

‘OK, so what happened, if you don't mind me asking that is?'

‘No, not at all. Um…well, I'm not sure really. I guess it wasn't so much a case of anything specific happening to end it but more realising we just weren't compatible. He was a really clever guy and interesting to hang out with but to be honest he was a bit of a cold fish at times. He was incapable of expressing his feelings so I spent the whole time wondering if he actually did fancy me or whether he was just with me for the sake of it.'

‘Really?' said Steve. ‘If I was your boyfriend I wouldn't be able to stop telling you how pretty you are.'

Jennifer didn't know how to react. What a lovely thing to say. He sounded so sincere too. Not creepy or disingenuous at all.

‘Thanks,' she managed in the end, once she'd got over the shock of being complimented. ‘Um, anyway, I guess it just didn't feel like he loved me in the right way which probably sounds a bit weird but by the end, as far as I was concerned, it felt more like we were friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't know.'

‘Fizzled out?'

‘Yeah,' said Jennifer a bit doubtfully. By now she was revealing slightly more than she had originally intended to but was unsure how to stop the snowball of information that was rolling out of her mouth. ‘Though to be fair it wasn't ever massively sizzling even at the beginning so there wasn't a great deal of sizzle to fizzle. Besides, he had a wife of sorts.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘He was literally married to his work,' said Jennifer, teetering on the verge of telling him about Tim, only half wondering if she should so early on. Still, she'd gone this far. Perhaps she'd just get it out of the way. ‘Have you heard of reUNIon?'

‘Course, yeah.'

‘OK, well he kind of invented it.'

‘You're kidding? He isn't that Purcell bloke is he?'

Jennifer nodded.

‘Wow,' said Steve, trying to recover from having been emasculated within the first few minutes of the date. ‘OK, so very clever bloke then, although if you don't mind me saying?'

‘Go on,' encouraged Jennifer. ‘Say what you like.'

‘I always think he comes across as a bit arrogant in interviews.'

‘I agree.'

‘And he can't be
that
intelligent if he let you slip through his fingers,' he added, going red as he did so.

Jennifer grinned. He'd already paid her more compliments than Tim had in the first year of being together. It was nice.

‘Well that's very kind of you to say. And what about you? How long have you been single for? Not long I bet.'

Jennifer cringed. She'd been trying to match his kindness by saying something nice herself but in the process had managed to make herself sound like a cheesy old lothario.

‘Oh blimey, let's see now, about six months.'

‘OK and who was your last girlfriend?'

‘Lauren,' replied Steve and as he said her name Jennifer could tell that Lauren had meant a great deal to him. ‘We went out for about three years.'

‘Right, so a long time then,' she said, slightly unsure as to why, or how they'd got onto the subject of their exes quite so swiftly. Surely this was more of a third or fourth
date kind of chat? Oh well they were doing it now. ‘So was it a difficult break-up?'

‘Yeah I guess.'

‘So…what happened then?'

For the second time Steve's face coloured and he seemed distinctly unsure about replying.

‘What?' said Jennifer, his reluctance to answer making her far keener to find out more details.

‘Well, it'll probably sound a bit heavy and I don't want to scare you off. We haven't even ordered yet,' he joked, looking more than a little uncomfortable.

‘I know,' grinned Jennifer. ‘I was thinking the same thing myself when I told you about Tim but you've
got
to tell me now and I promise I won't get scared,' she said, despite the fact she wasn't one hundred percent sure she meant it. If Lauren had found out he was a crossdresser or that he had a penchant for sleeping with goats she couldn't be totally sure she wouldn't be leaving before her Fiorentina pizza had even gone in the oven.

‘Thanks,' she said to the waitress who had just arrived back with their drinks.

Steve seemed grateful for the distraction and said that they'd like to order their food. So they did, though Jennifer wasn't letting him off the hook that easily.

‘So,' she prompted as soon as the waitress had left, ‘what happened?'

‘OK, well before I say, just bear in mind that we were together for a pretty long time. So I guess you consider
lots of things that don't even enter your brain when you first start going out with someone.'

‘Good disclaimer. Now tell me,' she insisted.

‘Right,' said Steve, who'd accepted that he wasn't going to be able to wriggle out of an explanation. ‘Basically, what happened was, I realised we weren't on the same page as far as what we both wanted out of life was concerned.'

‘In what way?'

‘She didn't want to have children. Ever.'

‘Ah,' said Jennifer, feeling mildly relieved. That was a fair enough answer, one that didn't have her running for the hills. ‘OK, well fair enough then. I would say that's a pretty sensible reason to have ended things if you know you do definitely want them.'

‘I do,' said Steve with feeling. ‘I love kids. Ideally I'd like three I reckon. Not that I said that to Lauren. I mean, if she'd agreed to trying just for one at some point I probably would have stayed with her but she point blank refused even to consider it.'

‘Was she a real career girl then?'

‘Er, no not massively,' said Steve, shaking his head. ‘She's a beautician. She just doesn't like being around kids. It's weird. Her sister's got a couple you see and she kept saying that her sister had lost her life. That she was always tired, that she was fat and never had any money. Only whenever I went round there I always thought her sister looked fulfilled and like she wouldn't change her
life for anything. Besides, I think not wanting to lose your figure is a pretty lame reason for not wanting to have a child.'

‘Was the sister fat?'

‘Hardly the point.'

Jennifer blushed. Only the other day she'd heard a story on the news about a man who had murdered his wife after cooking dinner for her and all she'd been able to wonder, apart from how awful it was, was what he'd cooked her. It was just the way her brain worked. The details seemed important.

‘I know it's not the point,' She agreed now. ‘And I know I'm awful, but I still have to know now, was she?'

‘Um, yeah, a bit,' said Steve, rolling his eyes in mock disapproval but clearly amused.

Jennifer nodded, while considering everything he'd just said in the last few minutes. It was endearing hearing a man speak in the way in which he had. In her experience it was usually women who dreamed and talked of motherhood in the future, and on the whole men who just appeared to go along with it when the time was right. She tried to think if she and Tim had ever discussed if they'd want to have children one day but she couldn't remember. She didn't think he'd be against it but she certainly couldn't remember him ever definitely stating that he wanted to as a fact. Besides, being a dad would take some of his attention away from reUNIon and that would never do.

‘Have you seen
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?'
she asked. Steve nodded.

‘Did she share the Child Catcher's views on kids?'

‘She did, though fortunately she was slightly better looking,' said Steve amiably. ‘Not such a big pointy nose.'

‘And she didn't wear black tailcoats and carry a massive net around with her.'

‘Only on a Tuesday.'

There followed a bit of an awkward silence, only because given what had just been said, Jennifer now felt vaguely obliged to announce her own views on procreation. After all, if she didn't want to have children one day there was almost no point her being there. No point in him treating her to a casual pizza. Steve was right of course. Only insane people would think about such things when they'd only just met someone and yet the stark reality was that once you ploughed deeper into your twenties you only really embarked on a relationship if you thought it might end up leading somewhere. Otherwise what was the point?

‘Well, for what it's worth then,' she said in a voice that she hoped sounded light-hearted but actually sounded vaguely like Alan Partridge, ‘I'd like at least a couple of sprogs one day.'

‘OK,' said Steve, raising his glass of coke to her. ‘Well good for you and don't worry, I'm not planning on impregnating anyone in the near future.'

He smiled cheekily, acknowledging that he fully
comprehended how crazy this conversation was, given that they hadn't even slept together. Just at the thought of that her stomach flipped in a very good way. Suddenly coy she looked around the restaurant at nothing in particular.

‘Anyway,' he continued, ‘that was a bit awkward wasn't it? Sorry about that. I honestly didn't mean to extract your personal views on whether or not you'd like to be a parent or not within the first ten minutes of the date.'

‘It's OK,' laughed Jennifer, who actually thought he'd managed to break the ice quite successfully. At least he could take the piss out of himself. It was sweet.

‘Right, so what shall we talk about now?' he said.

‘Ooh why don't we just go straight for another contentious and deeply personal subject,' said Jennifer. ‘Maybe, who we'd vote for in the next election? Or, how much we earn? Something nice and delicate like that.'

‘Good idea, or perhaps you could just tell me how your day's been. Might be less controversial?'

‘OK,' agreed Jennifer and from that point onward the evening veered into more standard first date territory only with the edge of nerves having been extinguished completely.

Later, after they'd had their meal, they left the restaurant and stood out on the pavement, both reluctant for the date to end but unsure as to whether the other
person felt the same. In the end Steve broached the subject.

‘Well, I've had a lovely time but if I'm honest I'd like the evening to continue a bit longer. It's only nine-thirty after all. But if you're tired…'

‘No,' said Jennifer, ‘I'm fine, why? What were you thinking?'

‘We could go for a drink in a pub?' he suggested. ‘Or, and I hope you don't think this sounds forward, perhaps we could go back to yours for a cup of tea and just chill out for a bit or something?'