Ignite (Explosive) (9 page)

She’s avoiding
me. I know it. First, she cut off eye contact with me and walked away with her sister, and now when I was heading over to the bar, she suddenly hopped up and went in the direction of the bathroom. The whole time I stood there waiting for my drink, she never showed again. Now that I’m settled back in at the table, I see her come out and sit at the opposite end of the table next to Ryan. He makes a big show of putting his arm around her and pulling her in for another hug. I have to look away before I end up in a fist fight tonight, which is asinine since I have no claim on this girl. Ryan’s always been a huge flirt, and Alexa was annoyed by him in our school days, so I’m not really sure why she’s hanging out with him.
To avoid you, you jackass.
I take another large swig of my beer and push the thought from my mind. Fine, if this is how she wants to play it, then I’m game. For now, at least.

An hour later, Alexa may as well be back in Ohio. She’s as far away from me as she possibly can be and appears to be even further away in her thoughts. She’s staring at the television that’s showing that Braves playing as she absentmindedly picks at the peel on her beer bottle. Every once in a while she’ll contribute to the conversation, but for the most part she’s lost to everyone in the bar. Once upon a time I could practically read her mind. I need to pick up my balls and get this over with once and for all.

I’m not
really sure that sitting next to Ryan Harper for an hour is the lesser of two evils. After he’s relegated us with stories of his college shenanigans and “all the sorority sluts he banged,” I feel more than ready to face Jace. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself for the last fifteen minutes, but I haven’t been able to make the move. I can feel him watching me, and I’m wondering why he hasn’t approached me. After all, he was the one who walked away, so he should be the one to take the first step here, right?

“Lexi, get your ass over here!” Jeremy yells from across the bar.

I scan the room to find him and see that he’s setting up a card game with Sierra. I walk over to their table and ask what they’re playing as I sit down across from Sierra. Before either of them can answer, I feel a presence behind me and immediately recognize the scent I used to savor whenever I slept in his practice jersey.

“Need a fourth?” a smooth, deep voice whispers in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine and a warmth in my belly. I feel his hot breath on my skin, and it’s all I can do to sit still. Closing my eyes, I’m suddenly a smitten seventeen-year-old girl dancing on the beach with the guy of my dreams. I swear I can hear his soft singing mixing with the crashing of the waves. “Alexa?” he asks, pulling me out of my trance.

Clearing my throat, I manage to stammer, “Umm, sure, yeah, that’d be great.”

Sierra gives me what looks like a sympathetic smirk. She tells Jace it’s boys against girls and to sit to my right. He pulls out the chair next to me, and as he sits down he lets his hand slide across my jean-clad thigh before he starts shuffling the cards. I shiver, remembering the last time his hands were that close to me.

I muster up enough courage to look at him and I find him watching me intensely. He catches my glance and the left side of his mouth twitches up. I can tell he’s trying to hide a smile. I meet his eyes and his smile fades as he sucks in a deep breath as he stares at me intently. I want, I need to look away, but he has me caught in a force field and I can do nothing but return his gaze. I’m sure we look like two idiots, but right now the rest of the world does not exist. Glancing down at his lips, I involuntarily clench my thighs together, remembering he feel of his lips on my skin.

“Jeremy and I are going to get a pitcher for the table. Want anything else?” Sierra snaps us out of the trance.

“Whiskey on the rocks, short, and make it a double,” I say without looking away from Jace. Something tells me that this is definitely a whiskey situation.

“Make it two,” he replies, keeping his eyes on mine.

They walk away, leaving us to our heated gazes. I finally tear my eyes away from his and rub my never-ending wet palms on my jeans. How can this one man affect me so much after so much time has passed? I’ve never had sweaty palms. Not even with Ty. I close my eyes and immediately wish I hadn’t thought of him right now.

Jace grabs my hand under the table and gives it a squeeze. Instead of being turned off by the perspiration, he continues to hold my hand as he lifts my chin with his other hand.

“Alexa, I’m sorry. I… It’s not enough, I know it’s not, but I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” he whispers, rubbing his thumb over mine.

I lift my gaze and meet his eyes once again. I’m not exactly sure what he’s sorry for. For leaving? For how our last encounter ended? For never finding me? For Ty? Oh God, does he even know about Ty?

“I didn’t know. I swear, I didn’t know. And once I did, well, you hung up on me and I didn’t want to push you. But if I could’ve been there for you, I would’ve.”

A soft smile comes to my face. This is his way of letting me know that he does know about Ty and that he’s there for me to talk to. I know how his mind works. He won’t push the issue, but he’ll let me know his shoulder is always available. I always loved that about him. He could read me so easily, and he could handle me with care without seeming too overprotective. He was just Jace. My confidant. My shoulder. My best friend. And the first guy I ever loved.

After an
hour and a half of avoidance, I can hardly believe that I’m finally sitting here with her. I’m almost sure that I’m hallucinating that she’s letting me hold her hand. If it weren’t for the fact that she’s transferring sweat to my palm, I’d almost guarantee this wasn’t real. Sweaty palms? What does that mean? Is she as nervous as I am to be here after so long?

I’m torn from my thoughts when she speaks to me. “It’s okay, Jace. You couldn’t have known.”

God, just hearing her voice does something to me. How in the hell did I go so long without hearing her voice, feeling her touch? I’m honestly shocked that she’s allowed me to keep her hand for this long, but I won’t protest our contact if she’s not going to.

“I don’t know if you’d have wanted me to, but I would’ve called again. It’s just that I left for Afghanistan a few days after that phone call.”

Her eyes race to look at me as she withdraws her hand from mine. She leans forward, placing her chin in her hands. She looks at me and I find myself nervously shuffling the cards again.

“How many times?”

“Umm…how many times what?” I ask, thoroughly confused.

“How many times have you been over there?”

I spend a moment acting like I’m going in my head, even though I know the number specifically. “I’m in the middle of my fourth tour.”

“Holy shit!” Alexa exclaims, and then she covers her mouth as if she can’t believe she just said that.

I chuckle. “Yeah, it’s been a long ten years, but I’ve loved every experience and wouldn’t change it for the world.”

She begins to ask me questions about my job and the various deployments I’ve been on. I’m amazed at how easily the awkwardness has fallen away now that we’ve settled into easy conversation.

At one point I see her eyeing the tattoo on my left forearm, and before I know it, her fingers graze over the italic words and the jagged, raised scar that underlines them as she reads aloud to herself. “Vulneratus non victus. What does it mean?”

I begin to tell her about the time when a roadside IED hit the MRAP—a mine-resistant ambush protected vehicle—in front of mine. My left arm had been hanging out the window and a piece of shrapnel tore into it. I had a four-inch gash that required forty-two stitches, but other than that I was been fine.

“It’s Latin for ‘wounded but not conquered.’ We were fortunate to not have any bad injuries, so when we got back to the States, the guys and I all went and got this tattoo to commemorate what those bastards tried but failed to do.”

She pales slightly at the mention of my injury, no matter how minor, so I rack my brain, trying to find a way to change the conversation into something much lighter, even though her fingers trailing over the words on my arm are making my skin tingle, bringing all kinds of erotic thoughts to mind.

I start to tell a funny story, and she seems genuinely concerned as I tell her about the time on my first deployment when I thought I’d heard a sniper fire and immediately had to dive for cover. A few seconds later, it had finally registered that I was on the ground covering my head, but there’d been no shooting. I looked up and my fellow soldiers were trying their hardest not to laugh. My dumb ass heard a freaking car backfire and immediately thought the worst. In my defense, I was a nineteen-year-old kid in Iraq for the first time.

We are both laughing as Jeremy and Sierra come back to the table with our drinks, and Alexa takes no time in taking a huge drink from her whiskey glass.

“Slow down, killer. We’ve got all night to get hammered,” Sierra laughs as she grabs the deck of cards with my hands. She shuffles them and then deals out what appears to be a game of euchre.

We sit and play cards for a while as Jeremy and Sierra tell me all about their daughter. Since they were high school sweethearts, everybody knew they’d get married and have kids. They tell me all about how Jeremy followed her to Ohio when the family moved, and they spill about their time at the University of Cincinnati and what they’ve done post-graduation. I’m taken back ten years where I can see them sitting at the lunch table, falling all over each other. I smile at the thought, and I’m honestly glad that they seem just as in love as they were back in our school days.
You could’ve had that, too, dumbass.
I shake my head at the thought as I decide which card to play.

I catch
Jace shaking his head and I wonder what’s going through his mind right now. I’m in shock at how comfortable this feels. I mean, sure, it was a little awkward at first, but once we started talking about his job, the conversation seemed to ease up a bit. Looking around the table, I can’t help but think about how normal it seems for the four of us to be sitting around bullshitting, playing cards.

I feel a slight pull at my heart.
Ignore it.
I push the guilt away and tell myself for the first time since Tyler died that he’d want me to have fun. I take a less-than-ladylike gulp of my whiskey. The familiar burn erases my thoughts as I stand up to make a trip to the bathroom. I stumble slightly and Jace is quickly on his feet to catch me.

The pounding in my ears drowns out the entire bar as he places his hands on my waist to steady me and I immediately brace my hands on his rigid forearms. I catch my breath before looking up to see his light irises turn slightly darker at the contact. We stand there for a moment as if reveling in the other’s touch until Jace moves his hands to the small of my back and pulls me into him. I feel so tiny in his arms due to our height difference, and it’s a feeling I’d always loved about us.

Involuntarily, I move my hands up and around his back to feel his shoulder blades as my head rests on his chest, and I can’t help but close my eyes at how intimate this embrace feels. My breathing quickens as I hear the frantic pace of his heartbeat, and I realize that he’s just as affected by this as I am.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you,” he leans down and whispers in my ear.

I pull my head back and look up at him again. “Yeah, you do,” I let out, surprising both myself and Jace. I twist out of his arms and head to the bathroom, wondering what the hell that was about because I know it wasn’t just the alcohol talking.

I get
ready to flush the toilet when I hear his name.

“Holy shit, have you seen Jace McAllister? He looks so damn hot. I could just rip his clothes off right here,” an unknown—and very annoying—voice whispers.

“Oh, girl, don’t even try to go there. You know back in school he only really had eyes for one girl, and as far as I can tell tonight, he still only has eyes for her,” another voice—one not so annoying—answers.

Ms. Annoying, as I’ve deemed her, scoffs. “Whatever. He never even dated her, but he was with me our whole junior year. Plus, last I heard, she’s married anyway.”

The lovely voice of reason sighs, “You broke up because he was spending all of his time with her. Even if he claimed they were just friends, you know it wasn’t true. Or at least he didn’t want it to be true. And I saw through Sierra’s Facebook page that Lexi’s husband died like a year and a half ago. I felt so bad when I saw that.”

“Then the bitch should be grieving, not making a play for Jace. All the better for me,” sneers the voice I know now is Mallory’s, Jace’s ex from high school. I suddenly understand the venom in her voice because she always hated my friendship with him.

I try to stop my hands from shaking as I listen to them leave the restroom. Who the hell does that bitch think she is to lay claim to Jace and say I need to grieve? It’s been damn near close to a year and a half. Well, almost.
See? Listen to yourself, Lexi. It’s okay to let go.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I sit in silence, wondering what the hell I’m doing. Knowing that it’s safe, I leave the stall and wash my hands, anxious to get out of there.

Heading out of the bathroom, I go out on the secluded front porch of the bar. I pull out my phone and know immediately who I need to talk to.

“Please tell me that you’re naked, breathless, and you’ve just had the most powerful orgasm of all womankind,” Brady answers, making me laugh.

“Will you be disappointed if I answer none of the above?” I ask, sitting down on the first step, putting my head in my hands while holding the phone to my ear.

“Hmmm…the weekend is still young, as is the night. You still have two days to make me proud,” he says with a smile in his voice.

“Is it all about the sex with you?” I question.

He gasps in mock horror. “My dear, whatever else would it be about?” He laughs as he continues. “But seriously, you need to get laid, so tonight, yes, yes it is. Have you seen him? Let me guess. You walked in, locked eyes, and it was lust at first second sight. Then, knowing you, you spent some time avoiding him before he cornered you. How’d I do?”

I take a deep breath and let it out before I answer. “It’s annoying how well you know me. And first second sight isn’t even a thing, you dork. But the rest, yeah, you pretty much nailed it. It was a little awkward at first, especially since I practically quivered when he touched my thigh, but then we fell into comfortable conversation and it’s been…it’s been really nice, Brady.”

“So why aren’t you with him? I mean, I love you and I know how hard it is not to see me every day, but it sounds like things are good there.”

“They were. I mean, they are. I just… I overheard his ex in the bathroom talking about wanting to have sex with him on the bar floor,” I say, wincing at the thought of her running her hands all over him.

Brady laughs. “If she was going to have any chance with him, she wouldn’t be talking about it in the bathroom. She’d be out there working him, and it sounds like he’s been either with you or pursuing you all night.”

He has a point. I giggle as I tell him, “I’m the reason they broke up. She wanted him to spend less time with me and he refused.”

“See? She’s got nothing on you. So go in there, drink some more, and get your man.”

I sober up at his suggestion of ownership. “She also said I should still be grieving my husband, so it’ll make it easier for her to get with him,” I whisper.

“That skank-ass bitch! Do I need to come down there? I am not allowing her to ruin all my hard work. You’ve come such a long way. Don’t you dare start feeling guilty again. I’m sorry, babe, but he’s gone. Jace isn’t. I’m not saying fall in love and marry him this weekend, but give it a chance. Who knows, maybe nothing will happen? But you can’t live your life without love—or at least a chance at it.”

I sigh, knowing he’s right. “I know, Brady. I guess that’s why I called you. It’s like I know deep down that it’s okay to move on. I guess I just never really thought it would happen.”

“Keep telling yourself that. And I’m always here to be the annoying buzz in your ear. Call me day or night, but for now, go see if your past and your future can collide.”

“Thanks, Brady. Love you.”

“You, too, girl,” he says as we both hang up.

I go back into the bar and head back to the table, nerves fully intact. Sierra’s at the table alone as I sit back down. Looking around the bar, I spot Jeremy waiting for what I’m guessing is another round. My eyes flick around the room before I see Jace talking to a very chesty, dark-haired woman whose shorts are borderline criminal, and her shirt—if it can even be categorized as one—scoops so low that I can almost see her nipples.

“Is that—?” Sierra cuts me off before I can finish.

“Mallory Buchanan. Mouthy Mallory, in the flesh with a new set of tits paid for with many oral favors, no doubt,” she jokes, shaking her head as if remembering how that nickname was earned. I cringe, remembering the year Jace dated her.

“How in the hell could Jace stand dating her for our entire junior year?” Sierra asks, echoing my thoughts.

“Hell if I know. I guess he had his needs,” I reply, shuddering at the thought of her fulfilling any of those.

Before I can respond, my sister nudges me under the table with her foot. “Looks like someone’s trying to move in with a reunion of her own,” she comments, forcing me to look over and catch Mallory’s long, red nails digging into Jace’s bicep as she squeals over the size of his muscle. I flinch, remembering her comments in the bathroom. Jace takes that moment to look up and finds me watching him. He shoots me a look that is a mix of both frustration and annoyance, and I can’t help but grin at his discomfort. I raise my eyebrows and he looks pleadingly at me, waiting and wishing for me to intervene. I take a swig of the beer Jeremy just dropped in front of me as I watch him squirm under her touch. I’m surprised to find that I’m pleased that he looks out of sorts with her, and it’s all I can do not to stand up and rescue him. It’s not until I see her grab his face with her hands that I’m up out of my chair so fast you’d think my ass was on fire.