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Zeke

I don't have time to fully process her decision before Mollie is standing in front of us, begging Addie for forgiveness and demanding apologies.

“Hey,” she starts nervously as she approaches us, giving me a small smile before facing her.

“Hi,” Addie replies.

“Can we talk?”

“I guess,” Addie shrugs, her voice indifferent. “What's up?”

“Um, can we talk
alone
?” Mollie asks, her eyes darting toward me. “Would that be okay?”

“Mollie, we are alone,” Addie says as she looks around. “What do you want to talk to me about?”

“Addie,” I smirk as I take in the look on her face. “I think she wants to talk to you without me.”

Immediately, Mollie begins to nod, taking a half step away before Addie's voice stops her.

“Why?” she asks, her eyes darting between mine and Mollie's. “I mean, I'm gonna tell him anyway. I don't really see the point in him having to leave.”

“Addie,” Mollie gapes at her in disbelief.

“What? It's true,” she shrugs. “I tell Zeke everything.”

Although most people would find her words rude, it's just how she is. With the exception of the lie that's currently causing our hands to be entwined, Addie's always honest¸ same as me.

That's one of the things I've always loved most about her.

Letting the tailgate down on my mom's truck, I gesture for her to sit beside me. As she returns her gaze to Mollie, I begin to play with her hair, telling myself it's to pull off our ruse.

Deep down, I know I'm full of shit.

The blush of her cheeks tells me she knows it, too.

Once Mollie realizes Addie's serious about me sticking around, she lets out a long sigh and looks down at her feet nervously.

“So, I'm sorry I made you mad and hit on your boyfriend,” she starts quietly, her voice steeped in embarrassment. “I really didn't know the two of you were together and it just caught me by surprise, you know?”

“Yeah,” Addie says, pulling at a stray piece of thread on her cutoffs, only halfway listening.

“As far as the other thing goes,” Mollie continues. “When Zeke made the football team in seventh grade, a few of the other kids tried to get him to ditch you. They knew I hung out with him at your house sometimes. Anyway, so a couple of them stopped me on the way to school one day and asked me to talk to him about it. The only reason I even did it is because my brother said the other guys were messing with him at practice, you know? I guess they were giving him a hard time about being your friend or something...”

“Wait,” Addie cuts her off, her gaze shifting between Mollie and I. “What do you mean he was getting messed with?”

“Nothing too serious,” she starts, causing me to shake my head at her in frustration for opening her mouth. “Just teasing him and pushing him around some.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Addie asks, spinning to face me, but Mollie still won't look at her, so she thinks the question is for her.

“I know I should have told you, but I didn't because he made me promise I'd never say anything.”

“It wasn't that big a deal, Addie,” I say quietly, hating the look of sadness in her hazel eyes.

“So you knew I could stop it and you still didn't tell me?”

“I know and I feel horrible, Addie,” Mollie says, although this question is aimed for me, too. “I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.”

“My feelings aren't hurt, Mollie. I'm angry,” Addie spins to tell her, her voice holding an edge I've rarely heard. “People think just because I'm different that they can treat me anyway they want to. Every other kid has always looked down on me because I'm not like them, but not him. Zeke's
never
done that. He's the only person who's ever liked me for me,” she continues, gesturing toward me. “And now you're telling me that just because he didn't treat me like the rest of you, he had to go through the same thing? And you could have stopped it and you didn't?”

“I know,” she admits. “I'm really sorry, Addie. I hope we can still be friends.”

“No, Mollie,” Addie says bluntly. “I could never be friends with someone who would do that to him.”

“Addie...”

“You knew he was getting hurt and the only thing you had to do to stop it was to tell me,” she cuts her off. “If you were ever really my friend, you would have known that. I would have forgiven you if you'd hurt me, but not Zeke. No one's ever going to hurt him and still call themselves a friend of mine.”

Her words warm my heart and after an awkward moment, Mollie nods and turns to leave us. The silence between us is short-lived as Addie turns to face me.

“You should have told me,” she says quietly. “Zeke, I would never have let anyone treat you badly on my account.”

“The only way they would have stopped would have been if we weren't friends anymore, Addie,” I say in a soft tone, holding her teary hazel eyes as I squeeze the hand she's still resting in mine. “I never could have done that. I knew if you found out, it would hurt your feelings and you'd stop hanging out with me. That's why I told Mollie not to say anything.”

I take her in, watching her scruff the grass beneath our feet with her purple flip flop, feeling terrible. In over ten years, I've only kept two secrets from Addie. One was the feelings I'd been having for her since I got back, the other is this.

“How long did they tease you?” she asks in a whisper, her voice cracking.

“I dunno, Addie...” I shrug.

“When did it stop, Zeke?” she cuts me off, turning to face me.

“When I left,” I admit, unable to hold her gaze.

“For college?” she asks, her eyes widening in shock when I give her a slow nod. “You let this go on for
six years
and you never told me?”

“Well, what would you have done if I had told you, Addie?” I ask her, waiting only a second for her answer. “Stop hanging out with me?”

“Yes!” she says immediately. “That's exactly what I would have done, Zeke! I never would have let anyone bully you for six years!”

“I know,” I tell her, finally meeting her eyes. “That's why I couldn't let you go, Addie.”

“Zeke...”

“It wasn't that bad and even if it was, I would have quit the team before I...”

Before I can finish my sentence, she grips the back of my neck and pulls my lips to hers.

Addie

The second my lips touch his, I know it's a risk, but I just can't bring myself to stop it.

My feelings, his words, knowing firsthand everything he put up with for my sake, I pour all of it into him. Parting my lips, I tease his lips with my tongue, begging for entry, unable to contain the whimper that leaves my chest when he grants it.

As he makes contact, his tongue gently massages mine, shooting sparks through my chest. Releasing my grip on his neck, I rest my hand on his jaw, loving the feel of his light scruff as it dances beneath my fingertips.

His hands rest low on my waist, splaying beneath the thin cotton of my tank top as I feel him hook his fingers into my belt loops, holding me closely.

As badly as I know I need to pull away for air, my head is swimming. Common sense leaves me as I wonder if ending this kiss will deprive me of some kind of oxygen only Zeke's lips can provide.

Zeke's lips.

What the hell are you doing?

That's all it takes to have me pulling away from him. Red-faced and panting, I bring my fingertips to my lips and quickly find my feet, taking a slight step back, instantly filling with regret.

Not for the kiss. That kiss was amazing.

Good thing, too, stupid. It may have just cost you everything.

No, my regret is saved exclusively for the massive line I know I've just crossed.

What the hell have you done, Addie?

“Oh my God,” I manage, coming to terms with my actions as I take in the shocked expression covering his face. “Oh no...”

You've just ruined everything.

“Zeke...” I start, trying to meet his eyes and only succeeding for a second before I shut them tight, covering my face with my hands. “Oh, I'm so sorry, Zeke. I don't know... I don't know what the hell got into me.”

“It's okay,” he whispers, his breathing still ragged.

“No, it's not,” I argue, shaking my head. “You're my best... Zeke, you're my best friend and I just... I shouldn't have... Shit! Shit! Shit!”

“Addie...” he tries again, but my head is spinning.

I can't believe I've done something so monumentally stupid.

“You just... Six years, ya know?” I look up at him, pleading for understanding through my incessant rambling. “And no one else would have... They were so mean, Zeke, but not you...”

“Addie...” he says softly, slowly catching his breath.

“So they were to you... Because of me...” I sniff, struggling to hold back the tears. “And you should have told me, Zeke. I never would have... But you didn't and I didn't know for so long and now... ?”

“Add...”

“You know, this whole thing is your fault! I mean, what are you doing keeping secrets anyway? I tell you everything, you jerk!” I cut him off again. “And who the hell keeps a secret like that for six
years
? What about our pact?”

“I know...”

“Never keep secrets, remember?”

“I didn't want...”

“I know! Because you were trying to protect me,” I shake my head. “Because you're a great friend, unlike me.”

“Addie, would you...”

“No, it's true! You keep your mouth shut for six
years
and I wreck everything in like six seconds!” I throw my hands up. “This is the reason for that pact! This is why we don't keep secrets! They're nothing but trouble!”

“
Addie!
” he shouts as he stands, hovering over me and breaking me from my nervous rambling.

“What?” I ask, turning to face him as he takes the two steps to separate us.

“Shut up,” he breathes, holding my eyes for a moment before he grips my waist and bends to kiss me.

Zeke

One summer when we were kids, I mentioned that I thought there were less frogs outside than usual. It was as random a statement as any, but looking back, I should have known Addie would come up with some crazy idea to rectify it.

Her solution was that we should start a frog farm and over the next few weeks, that's exactly what we did. By the time her dad caught on, her backyard was a complete mess, filled with Tupperware containers we'd swiped from our kitchens. Each was used to gather all the tadpoles we could in an attempt to refuel the frog population.

We did a lot of dumb shit when we were kids, but I think I knew even when we were doing it that it was one of the stupidest. Over the years, any time we ever got into any trouble, I'd always reference the frog incident of 2001 to gauge how dumb we'd been. To date, we'd never surpassed that level of stupid.

As I rest my hands on her neck, pushing my tongue into her mouth, I realize we've just topped the frog farm.

I know it, but I can't stop.

At first, I'm waiting for her to pull away and slap me, but she doesn't. Instead, she grips my sides and holds me closer, enveloping me in her scent. Wanting more, I deepen the kiss and feel the heat starting deep in my stomach, a low hum of pleasure shooting through me.

When another whimper leaves her chest and she begins to relax against me, my head begins to swim. Tangling one hand into her hair, I steady her by resting the other on her waist, loving the feel of her warm skin on mine as my fingertips trace the edge of her shorts.

I'd kissed more than my fair share of girls, done more with a couple of them, but none of them have ever had my head swimming like this.

As she gently begins to rest her head in my hand, I feel her finally beginning to let go completely.

That same indescribable spark I'd felt when I stole her first kiss shoots through me again.

This time it's different though.

It's much more than just a spark.

This time, it's as if my soul has been waiting to be set on fire and Addie is the flame that's always been meant to ignite it.

Addie

When he slowly pulls away from me, he gently sucks on my lower lip and the action causes me to sway.

He stays close, his lips hovering so close to mine that I can feel his hot breath washing over me. He smells delicious, like cinnamon Jolly Ranchers and home. I want nothing more than to encase myself in his scent and bathe in it, drown in it.

My eyes are oddly heavy, like the time we'd found that bottle of peach Schnapps and snuck it into my room. We took turns sipping until the bottle was empty and both of us were obnoxiously drunk.

With everything that's happening right now, you'd think I'd be able to focus, but I can't stop thinking about that peach Schnapps. My lips had been numb by the time we'd finished the bottle.

Right now, as I stare back into the deep blue eyes, heavy as mine, I feel anything but numb. I feel awakened in ways I've never felt before. I feel a strange jolt of adrenaline pumping through my veins, all the way to my jelly filled limbs.

I feel like I could really use a sip of that peach Schnapps.

“Addie,” he whispers, breaking my thoughts as his lips remain close enough to brush against mine.

“Zeke,” I manage at the same time, finally coming back into my senses enough to feel his muscular arms locked in my grip.

We stand there, both of us unable to speak for a moment until another voice breaks through our trance.

“Hey Zeke!” one of his friends, Tyler, calls out, causing me to divert my gaze.

I see him jogging over toward us, but all I can focus on is Zeke's hot breath against my neck.

“Zeke,” I whisper, as I turn to face him again. “What's happening?”

“I'm not sure,” he admits, his low voice matching mine.

We're still wrapped in each other as Tyler approaches us, neither of us willing to let go. I'm unsure if it's fear or comfort we're looking for from the other. Leaning in to keep his words between us, a chill shoots down my spine as his lips brush against my ear.

“It's gonna be alright, Addie,” he assures me, watching as I swallow hard. “No matter what, we'll be okay.”

Meeting his eyes, the determination there gives me the strength to answer him with a slight nod and immediately feel calm sweep through me.

“Hey man,” Tyler says as he finally comes to a stop in front of us.

“Hey,” Zeke says, slowly releasing me as he turns to face his friend.

My body suddenly feels a loss as we separate that has me stifling a sigh. I watch as the two of them greet each other, but my mind is elsewhere, floating.

Try as I might, I can't focus on anything that's being said in the fog of my thoughts.

“Addie,” Zeke says, gently squeezing the shoulder he's kept his hand resting on, pulling me back to Earth.

“Yeah?” I say, looking up at him and shaking my head clear.

“Do you know Tyler?” he asks, his eyes searching mine in concern.

“Yeah,” I nod, turning to face his friend who's also staring at me expectantly. “Well, kind of. I sat next to you in chemistry.”

“Really?” Tyler says, his mind wandering as he tries to place me.

“Yeah,” I nod, unable to stop the eye roll from happening.

“Oh... well, hey,” he says giving me a small smile before facing Zeke again. “Well, are y'all comin'? If you are, you might wanna hurry. Some of the guys got here early, so the food's almost gone already.”

“Yeah,” Zeke says. “Lemme just grab my phone.”

“Alright, man,” Tyler says, giving him a nod and waiting patiently as Zeke squeezes my shoulder again reassuringly and leaves us to retrieve his phone from the cab of his mom's truck.

My mind is still reeling when he makes his way back to us only a moment later, his voice breaking through.

I'm a strong girl. I could survive a lot of things, but losing Zeke isn't one of them.

“Okay,” he says, looking down at me. “You ready?”

Unable to find my voice, I give him a slight nod and watch as he pushes the tailgate shut before facing me again.

“We can leave if you don't wanna go,” he offers quietly as he watches Tyler return his attention to the party, returning his gaze to find me slowly starting to shake my head.

“No,” I manage. “It's okay, we can stay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“If you change your mind...” he starts, pulling a nod from me. “Okay,” he whispers, pushing the stray hair away behind my ear, his eyes softening as I instinctively lean into his touch.

“Zeke...” I manage in a broken whisper, trying desperately to choke back the sob that's building as he pulls me to his chest. “What the hell is happening to us right now?”

“I'm not sure,” he admits quietly, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “But whatever it is, we'll get through it together, same as always.”

“Do you swear?”

“I swear,” he says, leaning to kiss my hair. “Don't be scared, Addie. I'm still not letting you go. No matter what.”

His words both warm my heart and make me internally kick myself for having opened such a massive can of worms. It's true, he kicked it over and let them out same as me, but if I'd just kept my mouth shut...

“'Kay,” I nod quickly.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” I continue to nod as I find his blue eyes.

“Alright,” he says, rubbing my arms reassuringly before releasing me. “Come on.”

When I start to follow after him, I feel more vulnerable than I ever have before.

I never had to say anything for him to know I'm terrified. I could see the fear hiding behind his eyes, too, but along with it, I saw determination.

If I'll ever put faith in anyone, it would be Zeke.

If he says we'll be okay, I know I can trust it. He's never steered me wrong before, but I still can't shake the anxiety that's coursing through me.

However, as he reaches for my hand, the fear vanishes completely.