Igniting the Wild Sparks (31 page)

“He’s moved on.”

Whisking my head back to Rod, I screech, “Why? He’s mine! I love him!”

“You used to. He broke up with you.
Remember? You cheated on him.”

I glare at Rod in disbelief. “No, I didn’t! I would never do that!” I shriek.

“You did. You met a guy at the gym and took him home. Finn caught you.”

I pound my fists frantically on the table.
“No! I would never do that!” I repeat even more urgently as Rod’s eyes widen in fear. I watch as Finn leans down and the whore openly French kisses him. He grabs onto her breast, right here in public as he takes his turn tonguing her. The bitch, not to be outdone by his open groping, sucks on his tongue like she’s sucking his dick. I can’t believe I’m witnessing this. Tears want to flow, but I’m too numb to even attempt breathing. I don’t have any right to object to it if I broke his heart, though I don’t remember cheating, let alone fathoming the thought of even kissing someone else.

Before I can yell his name, a brunette woman comes up behind him, tapping on his shoulder. He turns around and she’s on his lips faster than the
first whore was. However, he doesn’t seem to mind since he eagerly returns her filthy greeting.

Those are
my
lips to kiss.

“Finn!”

“He can’t hear you, Hadders.”

Frozen to my seat and my eyes glued to the scene before me, I
angrily demand, “Why?”

“You don’t exist to him anymore.”

“No!” I impatiently scoot to the edge of the seat to get out of the booth, but I can’t. It’s like I’m stuck in a bubble. All I can do is scream his name, but he doesn’t hear me or look my way. Collapsing against the seat, incensed, I cry, “Finn, no! Not my Sparks! No! I would never hurt him! I can’t live without him!”

“Becks, wake up.
I’m here.”

I
jolt and Finn’s face blurrily comes into view. Catching my breath, I rapidly blink until I can see the concern in his eyes. He brushes a chunk of my hair off my face and asks, “Did you have another bad dream?”

His fingers stroke my wet cheek and I nod against them. “
Yeah. I’m okay.”

Looking over my shoulder to the clock on my nightstand, I’m surprised I slept so long. Turning back to him, I blankly ask,
“How was practice?”

Still watching me, h
e sits down on the edge of the bed. “It was good. You didn’t have to drop the clipboard off.”

“I thought you might need it. I didn’t stay.”

“Morgan said you were looking for me. I’m sorry I missed you. You could’ve came over and said hi. That would’ve been okay as long as you didn’t try to weasel back onto the field.” I shrug and glance out the window. “At least you got some rest.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah. Some.”

“What did I do in this nightmare?”

Shaking my head, I force a smile. “Ignoring me. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I made it out to be worse than it was.”

“I’m always here for you, baby. I would never ignore you.”

I swiftly nod at the floor. “I know.”
You certainly can’t ignore your fucking bridge.

Finn lifts my chin and says, “
I’ll miss you.” His gaze flies over my face, but I give nothing away.

“I’ll miss you, too.”

“How are you feeling?” He drops his hand and lifts up my shirt to peer at my bruise. “It still is a little gnarly, but it looks like it’s getting better.”

I frown and pull my shirt down. “Thanks a lot. I’m glad I’m such a turn-off.”

He ruefully smiles. “You’re such a turn-off I can’t keep my hands off you. I’ve proven that quite a bit lately.” He leans in and kisses me softly on the lips before resting his forehead on mine, and whispering, “I love you, Becks.”

Apparently not more than his desire to be a
damn grasshopper.

“I love you, too. I hope you have a safe trip.”
One that doesn’t include you fucking BASE jumping or hurdling out of a plane.
“I can’t wait to see the dare on your show.”
And solid proof that you’re not lying to me about this being a trip to a school and not one off a bridge.

Sliding his invisible coach’s hat on, he orders, “I want you to get some more rest.”

“I will.” We stare at each other, but he doesn’t make a move to go anywhere. I want to tell him that I know his other gigantic secret, but I can’t. Why would he do something that he knows will hurt me? I don’t understand. Why is he okay with breaking my heart?

Why is he okay with taking
that
risk?

“What, Finn? What’s wrong?” Is it another lie?

He rubs his fisted hand into little circles on my cheek, his eyes drifting around my face, searching. For what? I’m not keeping any major secrets. He whispers, “You don’t even know how absolutely beautiful you are, Becks.” My thoughts veer from being furious with him to being unexpectedly stunned by him.

I try to smile or deny that I am
what he said I am, but my lips won’t cooperate. I can only stare at him, in which he returns with an odd, lingering look. Why is he reluctant to go? I’m sure he has skyscraper calling his name.

“I’ll see you when I get
home Tuesday night before I have to leave again Wednesday morning.”

My voice is a
hoarse whisper filled with so much shrouded rage. “Okay. I’ll be here.”

His fingers spread into my hair
and he pulls me in to kiss him. It’s a kiss strangely fraught with longing. Longing for what? I’ve been here. He even tried pushing me away Friday, though, he eventually relented and made love to me.

Suddenly, h
is lips begin to move faster and more firmly against mine, while his fingers grip my head more tightly. I know his kisses. He’s wanting more. Nevertheless, his conversation with Ricky fills my mind and it’s like a dash of cold water.

I
jerk my head and breathlessly say, “You’d better get going so you’re not on the road too late.”

He breathes hard over me, looking down
between us, and slowly nods against my forehead. Is he going to ask me to blow him? I really don’t want to, especially after hearing about him blabbering about our sex life and of his secret jaunts. I might be in a biting mood in more ways than he’d care to show a bloody crotch to a certain cop responding to my apartment.

“I’ll call you when I get to the hotel.” He kisses my forehead and
stands, walking out of the room, leaving me alone with his lies.

Sunday night after Finn left, I called Bethany and cried my heart out until my face was puffy and gross, and my nose hurt from blowing it so much. I told her every embarrassing and stupid thing, and as usual, she was so supportive and calming, making me laugh at some of the idiotic things I was saying. She’s the only one I would tell. I know Morgan would tell me I’m dumb for staying with him and Rod, well, is Rod. I just needed to hear that if I am dumb, I’m still redeemable, and that everything is going to work out, even if I truly don’t know if it will.

Monday after work, Shane still is remarkably taking it easy on me, physically at least.

“You’ve lost yet another two pounds.”

My nose crinkles along with my forehead. “You’re on crack.”

“That’s a little extreme.”

“I’m
supposed
to be losing weight.”

“Not this fast and as I’ve told you before, we’re building muscle tone, so in essence, you should be
gaining
some weight.”

I widen my eyes.
“No, thanks.”

Ignoring me, he glances down to his ever-present clipboard.
“Is there something going on that might be causing you to lose weight?” This question again?

“
Again,
no. Maybe the wedding. It’s a lot to deal with and it’s not even mine.”

“Well, your bruise is still hindering your abdominal exercises, but we can work on your legs and arms.”

“Good news,” I drone.

“Have you been eating?”

“Yes.” He glances up and eyes my body, causing me to automatically fold my arms in an effort to hide from his scrutiny.

“Did you see your doctor?”

I incredulously look at him. “For my bruise? Um, yeah. The ER.”

He shakes his head. “No. For your rapid weight loss.”

“No. It’s not a problem.”

“If it continues, I won’t be able to train you anymore until you see a doctor.”

“I’m fine. It’s stress. I’m sure at the reception when the running around is over, I’ll chow and gain it all back. Then, you’ll work my ass until I lose it again. It’s a vicious cycle.”

“You could have an autoimmune problem.”

“Isn’t that something my car can have?”

He laughs and I’m flabbergasted. Shane Parker can
laugh
? I thought maybe he was missing that gene.

“No. You could have a disease where your body is attacking itself. You need to get it checked out.”

“Oh.” I thought I attacked myself enough. Now my own body may be joining in on the gangbang. Fabulous.

Tuesday morning
, I stare at the cemetery from my desk. I just received a good morning email from Finn and I have yet to respond. We barely said anything on the phone last night. I still feel apprehensive talking to him because I’m afraid I’ll blurt out what I know about his secret trips with Ricky to fall off buildings.

There’
s a knock at my door and I swivel my chair to see Morgan looking perturbed. She agitatedly asks, “Have you talked to Rod this morning or last night?”

“No. Why?”

“Amos just told me Rod called him last night saying his sister isn’t doing well and he’ll need time off. Rod left for North Carolina before work this morning to be with her.”

My heart begins to pound and I sit up straight.
“Eden is that bad?”

“
She’s in the hospital with pneumonia again and he’s afraid she won’t make it out.”

“Oh my God.”

“Amos said Rod was so upset. Poor Rod.” He cried for Eden on the park bench at Byrd Park.