I'll Be Seeing You (34 page)

‘That's great, Julie.'

‘No, it isn't. I asked him not to say anything.'

‘I'm wondering why the hell you did that.'

I was tearing the Kleenex to shreds in my hands. ‘I told you why before, Rob. Can you imagine how they'd feel? A half-sister suddenly appearing out of the blue? And with all that money around? They'd think I was some bloodsucking impostor, preying on their father. They'd hate me.'

‘On the other hand,' he said, ‘they might like you, Julie. They might like you a hell of a lot. Same as I do.'

I did some more mopping. ‘Well, I'm not prepared to take the risk. I want to leave things as they are – for the time being. He says he comes to London quite often and we're going to meet again then.'

‘I guarantee he'll make you change your mind. A guy like that's not used to taking no for an answer. That's why you happened.'

‘Don't forget I'm a chip off the old block.'

‘Yeah . . . that's true. But my money's on the old block.'

‘I can't think about that now, Rob. All I know is I found him and now he knows the truth. I did what my mother wanted. And it's thanks to you.'

‘Not me. I'm not so sure I earned my fee. The Hamlyn guy handed it to you on a silver platter.'

‘But you found
him
.'

‘Well, we got a lucky break.' He lit a cigarette. ‘So, when do you go home?'

‘The day after tomorrow.'

He said, ‘I have to fly up to Seattle first thing in the morning and I won't be back till the end of the week. You'll be in England by then.'

‘Yes, I will.'

‘Well, you're just in time to see a sunset before you go,' he said. ‘And it's going to be a helluva one.'

We watched it out on the deck, leaning on the rail as though we were sailing on a luxury liner and gazing out over the ocean. The sun was sinking slowly and the heavens were suffused with pink and tinged with gold. The pink deepened gradually to rose-coloured and then deeper still to a crimson which spread wider and wider like tongues of flame until the whole western sky above the Pacific Ocean was on fire. I'd never seen such a sunset. Ma would have loved it.

‘I told you it'd blow your mind,' Rob said. He threw away his cigarette, took me in his arms and kissed me – for a long time. And went on holding me close, his cheek against mine. ‘Don't go, Julie. Stay here in California. With me.'

‘I have to go back, Rob.'

‘Give me one good reason.'

‘My daughter, Flavia.'

‘That's not a good reason. It's not even a reason. It's another of your lame excuses. She's got somebody of her own – the actor guy who came out here. You told me about him.'

‘He might not stay with her – if he gets that Hollywood part.'

‘She'll find another guy if he doesn't. It won't wash, Julie. You'll have to think of something else.'

‘My work. I have to work to eat. And I can't work here. They won't let me.'

‘Sure you can. There's nothing to stop you sending your stuff back to England; you can work from anywhere in the world. So can I. We're both lucky.'

‘But they won't let me live here longer than six months.'

‘You can apply to become a resident alien.'

‘That sounds like something from Mars.'

‘It means you can stay as long as you like. You could get to know your father and the rest of the family. And you could marry me while you're at it.'

‘Don't be silly, Rob, we don't even know each other. We only met a few days ago.'

‘How long does it take? One look – in my book. Why do you think I've been busting my ass for you, right from the start?'

‘You mean if you hadn't liked the look of me, you wouldn't have done?'

‘I told you I was a selfish sort of guy. Chris tipped me off that you were worth meeting and I found out she was right.'

‘So you put your life on hold for me?'

‘Well, what the heck, it was the holidays . . . Christmas. And it was a lot more than the look of you, though that's pretty good. So, how about staying?'

I smiled, but I shook my head. ‘I'd never fit in here, Rob. This isn't my sort of place.'

‘More excuses. You don't know till you try. There are thousands of British living here, did you realize that? Hell, there's even an English pub where they do bangers and mash and steak and kidney pie. I'll take you there.'

‘I couldn't eat a thing.'

‘Later, I meant. Maybe.'

The beautiful sunset was fading fast, the light beginning to go. I pulled away. ‘I really ought to go now, Rob. I've got packing and things to do. And Chris will be wondering what on earth I've been doing.'

‘No, she won't. She'll know what you've been doing.'

‘Honestly, Rob, I ought to go. Please take me back.'

‘
Honestly
, Julie,' he mocked. ‘OK, I'll take you. But not yet. Maybe in a couple of hours or so.'

All the neighbourhood Christmas lights had been dismantled and I was sorry to have missed Santa's eventual take-off in his sleigh. I'd enjoyed having him around – dipstick though he undoubtedly was. Chris had unscrewed her instant tree and put it away in storage for another year. I finished packing my suitcase and we drove to the airport in the love-it-to-bits Chrysler. I'd told Chris about finding my mother's old friend and about who he was. She'd wanted to hear every detail of the Bel Air house and I'd satisfied her curiosity as much as I could.

‘I saw it featured in a glossy mag once, Julie. Wow! What a place!'

‘Yes, it was amazing.'

‘It's supposed to have cost millions of dollars.'

‘I should think it probably did.'

‘Boy, your mother certainly passed up an opportunity.'

On the dodgem freeway to LAX she said, ‘Rob's a really nice guy, isn't he? You know, I hoped you and he would hit it off. That's sort of why I asked him to help. Do you mind?'

‘Not in the least. I'm very grateful to him. And to you, Chris.'

‘Seems like you've both been getting on rather well . . . will you be seeing him again?'

‘He says he'll be coming to London sometime.'

‘That's not what I meant.' She switched freeway lanes, terrifyingly. ‘I was thinking of you both maybe getting together permanently. How does that grab you as an idea?'

I opened my eyes again. ‘I really don't know him well enough.'

She gave me a very old-fashioned look.

LAX was chaotic. We unlocked a luggage cart successfully with a new dollar bill and negotiated a pathway through the crowd to the British Airways check-in. I hugged Chris and thanked her again for everything, still guilty about the tangled web.

‘Keep in touch,' she said. ‘And come back soon.'

It was night-time when the London flight took off. The jumbo headed west, out over the Pacific ocean, and then turned east towards Europe, crossing directly over the City of Angels. I looked down and marvelled at the millions of lights, at the fantastical Tinseltown in all its extravagant glory. And then, suddenly, we were over desert and the dark, and it was gone.

It was raining in England – a dark, cold and miserable morning. I took the tube from Heathrow into London and the District Line out to Putney. My car was still safely outside the house but there was also a dog's mess by the gate and two empty crisp packets decorating the front garden. Flavia had already gone to work and there was no sign or sound of Callum. He was never an early riser. I found a pile of post for me on the hall table – junk mail, letters, bills, some late Christmas cards, a drinks party invitation, a dentist's appointment reminder. I felt fuzzy-headed from time-travelling and lack of sleep and yet unwilling to give in and go to bed. I made some black coffee, unpacked, had a bath, and phoned Adrian.

‘Well, did you run him to earth, darling?'

‘As a matter of fact, I did.'

‘And?'

‘Can we talk about it later?'

‘Of course. Meet me at the fish place for lunch.'

He was at his usual corner table, elegant in a charcoal-grey suit and pale silk tie with a yellow rose in his buttonhole. And, as usual, he rose to his feet and kissed my hand, and helped me off with the bargain Balmain.

‘I like the blouse, darling. Another of your little finds?'

‘Jacques Fath. Oxfam.'

‘Ah . . .'

He listened in silence while I told him what had happened – or most of it. Then he said, ‘Why exactly don't you want him to tell his family?'

‘They'll think I'm a gold-digger. Or some con artist.'

‘You wouldn't know where to begin to gold-dig, or how to con, Juliet, darling. As I'm sure he could see perfectly well. And so will they.'

I said, ‘In any case, we've missed the boat as father and daughter – you said so yourself.'

‘Not completely, from the sound of things. I'd say the outlook was quite promising for you both.' He beckoned to the waiter. ‘Now, what are you having to eat? Is it to be the monkfish or the bass? Both are equally delicious.'

At the coffee stage, he said, ‘The other American – the journalist who helped you find your father – is he your lover?'

The term sounded daringly romantic. I smiled. ‘In a way.'

‘There's only one way, generally speaking.'

‘Well, then he was.'

‘Was?'

‘He wanted me to stay in California with him, but I came home instead.'

‘May I enquire why?'

‘I'd only known him for a few days.'

Adrian sighed. ‘You do make such arbitrary decisions, don't you, darling? Stubborn, one might almost say. It was all going swimmingly. Why not carry on?'

‘I'm not sure I could live out there. It's so different.'

‘Of course it is. It's another country. Another culture. Another people. But it's the man that matters. Nothing else.
He's
the important thing. Do try to remember that. More coffee?'

I went back to the flat and slept like the dead for several hours, not waking until Flavia came upstairs.

‘Mum? Are you there?' She appeared at the bedroom door, laden with Safeway carrier bags. ‘I'm sorry. I thought you weren't coming back till tomorrow.'

She'd brought bread, milk, butter, cheese, eggs, vegetables, fresh flowers, and a bottle of wine which we opened immediately.

‘Did you have a good time?'

‘Very good.'

‘Callum said you seemed to be enjoying yourself when he saw you.'

‘I was. Any news of the screen test?'

‘He's still waiting. His agent thinks he'll get the part.'

‘I think he will too.'

‘So do I. Which means he'll be off to Hollywood.'

‘Will you mind?'

‘Yes, very much. But only for my sake – not his. It's what he's always wanted. I can't stand in his way, can I?'

‘No, I suppose not.'

‘Of course, if he goes, I realize he might not come back.'

‘You could go there.'

‘I don't think that would work, do you? Besides, I do like my job. I wouldn't want to give it up. And I've always known it couldn't last for ever – Callum and me. You've never exactly wanted it to, have you?'

‘I want whatever makes you happy, darling.'

She smiled wryly. ‘That what all mothers say, all the time. I bet Grandma said the same to you.'

‘Well, I do know she always did what she thought was best for me.'

‘I miss her very much, don't you?' She poured us some more wine. ‘Anyway, tell me more about California?'

‘It was amazing. Wonderful sunshine. Palm trees. Blue skies. Blue ocean. Everything so free and easy. You'd have loved the shopping malls.'

‘You know, I rather hoped you might meet someone out there.'

‘Meet someone?'

‘Well, you know . . . some glamorous American who'd sweep you off your feet.'

‘That's not what I went for.'

She laughed. ‘Don't look like that. I know it wasn't, Mum. I was just hoping, that's all.'

‘Actually, I did meet someone rather interesting.'

‘Oh?'

‘You remember that old black-and-white photo of Grandma's that you were looking at?'

‘The hunky Yank bomber crew? Yes, why?'

‘Well, I happened to run into one of them in Los Angeles.'

She stared at me. ‘Run into one of them? How on earth did you manage that?'

‘Well, not run into exactly. Somebody I came across was stationed in England at the same place as Ma and he knew somebody else living in Los Angeles who turned out to be the pilot of that crew.'

‘How incredible!'

She was right; it was. I hurried on. ‘He remembered Grandma well.'

‘Good heavens! Grandma's secret past! What was he like?'

‘Very nice indeed. Of course he's quite old now – but you'd still recognize him easily from the photo.'

‘They were probably madly in love. A passionate wartime romance. How lovely!'

‘As a matter of fact, he's coming to London in the spring. We're supposed to be having lunch. And he'd like to meet you.'

‘Would he? That's fine by me. We can talk about Grandma. He can tell me all about her when she was young, in those days. Do you think he'd mind?'

I said, ‘No, I don't think he'd mind at all.'

Drew phoned later that evening and I gave him my news. He seemed hopeful that I'd got the whole thing out of my system and would now settle down as though nothing whatever had happened.

‘No need for much further contact, is there, Ju?'

‘You mean he and I could exchange Christmas cards and leave it at that?'

‘Well, California's pretty far away.'

‘Actually, he comes over here several times a year. We're meeting then.'