Illicit Canvas: political romance and stand alone romance (24 page)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I have just walked into a storm. My mind is blank and I’m too shocked to react. Arwen is in my bedroom in her lingerie and Colin stands next to her, looking livid. I’m immobile and horrified with the fact that Colin has found out about our relationship like that.

“Colin,” I begin, approaching him. “This isn’t how it looks. Please let me explain.”

My son’s eyes are wild and scary. A drop of sweat gathers on my brow, rapid thoughts move through my mind. An explanation. I need to tell him exactly what happened between me and Arwen.

“Just tell me, have you been fucking my girl all this time behind my back?” Colin barks, shaking with anger.

“Colin, we love each other,” Arwen says, and I instantly have an urge to slap her. For the love of God, how can she say these things to him? He darts his eyes at me and takes a few steps towards me. I’m at a standstill, searching for some calming words.   

 “You son of a–”

Everything happens so fast. For a split second I only see Colin’s furious face, and then he punches me straight in between my eyes. I feel the bones cracking in my nose. Arwen screams, jumping out of bed as I crash on the floor, at least a meter out of the door. I’m not quite registering the pain yet or my surroundings when the blood pools out of me. Arwen is beside me, wearing barely anything at all. Colin stands a few meters away, his chest rising and falling. I try to get up, blocking my nose.

“Colin, son, please let me explain. This hasn’t happened the way you think,” I shout, but he just stares at me like he is ready to kill me.

“I never want to lay my eyes on you ever again, traitor,” he snaps and then he storms out of the room. I lift myself off the floor, bleeding everywhere.

“Ethan, we have to get you to the hospital,” Arwen says, helping me up.

I’m so furious with her that I think I’m going to lose my temper. “What the hell are you doing here, Arwen? I thought we agreed to see each other this evening!” I find some old T-shirt and press it over my nose. Fury is rising in me swiftly, but I don’t have time to babysit her. I have to go after Colin. There must be a way to fix this.

Her face falls. “I just wanted to surprise you and I had your key. Colin is upset, Ethan, but he'll be all right.”

“Just put some clothes on, Arwen, and go home. I have to sort this out,” I add, pushing her away from me. She looks beautiful, but I can’t do this right now.  

“Are you sure? I think you should go to the hospital.”

“Arwen, leave. I don’t have time for your nonsense. Start acting like an adult. This isn’t a fairy tale but real life!” I shout, raising my voice.

She pales, drops her eyes and then starts picking up her clothes. Right now I’m not thinking straight. I'm probably hurting her feelings, but I had very few hours of sleep and one of my deals is void. I disappear into the bathroom, taking long pulls of air. I wash my face and find some stuff in the first aid box, hoping to stop the bleeding. Arwen was probably right: the nose is broken, and it hurts like hell.

When I get back to the bedroom, Arwen is not there and I hear the door. She’s gone and maybe that’s for the best. I hate acting like this, hurting her. I can’t deal with her emotions right now. She will get over it. My life is slipping out of my hands. This is a complete mess and I have to be on the road in a couple of minutes. The paintings are the last thing on my mind. I change, pick up some stuff and get to the car, heading to the nearest hospital.

The rest of my Saturday is wasted and I have to cancel all my meetings. The doctor takes an X-ray and confirms that my son has broken my nose. Once I’m all patched up and filled with painkillers, I head home. The tension in my body is unbearable. Arwen couldn’t have picked a worse moment. Muscles in my stomach clench, my head keeps pounding. I do love her, she is perfect for me, but Colin won’t accept us being together.

As I walk through the door, my phone starts to ring. It’s Bethany. I doubt that Colin has said anything about what happened earlier.

“Hello,” I answer.

“Ethan, you son of a bitch! How could you do this to Colin? He’s your only son!”

I hold my head in my hands. She knows, already. For Christ's sake, Colin barely speaks to his mother.

“Bethany, please calm down and let me explain.”

“She was his girlfriend, Ethan. Have you lost your mind?”

“I met Arwen in the gallery. At the time, I didn’t know that she was going out with him. We had one date, Bethany and then”

She is crying now, so I stop talking, feeling like a bastard. I hate myself that I couldn’t have waited. It was the desire, the passion, but I hurt people that care about me.

“She’s twenty years younger than you. Can you imagine what kind of scandal you will be involved with if the press finds out?”

“Bethany, I love her. This isn’t a repeat from the past. She’s the love of my life.”

“Colin is in love with her. He told me on the phone. You have no idea, Ethan. You lost him. He will never forgive you for this.”

“I made a mistake, Bethany … I need to speak to him and explain.”

“Ethan, you haven’t changed at all. You cheated on me with your apprentice and now you’re fucking your son’s girlfriend. This is sick.”

I try to breathe, but whatever I say next won’t make any difference. She has already judged me because of everything that happened in the past.

“I have to go find Colin.”

“It’s done, Ethan. You have ruined him. Leave this poor girl alone and save yourself.”

Then she hangs up and I rub my face with my palms. My nose is throbbing with pain again. I throw my phone on the floor, smashing it to a million pieces. The anger crawls over me, the rage. I pick up my jacket and decide to drive to my son’s house. I have one chance to make this right. 

Saturday passes in a gloom and when Maja comes back I break down and explain everything that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours. At first she doesn’t know what to do with me, trying to calm me down, saying that it will be all right.

At first I want to run to Colin, talk to him and explain everything, but Maja thinks it’s a bad idea, that I need to give him time to deal with it. Ethan doesn’t call either and I’m worried, petrified that he has given up on us. I made my choice. In an instant he turned into an angry man, and his words stabbed me right in the gut. He asked me to leave and he hasn’t called. Maybe he doesn’t love me and I was trying hard to pretend that there was something between us. People gave us odd looks when we were in the restaurants or bars, Brigitte judged us, and Ethan probably never believed that things could work out between us.

When Sunday comes, Maja drags me out for a walk. I keep waiting, staring at my phone and hoping that it’s not over between me and Ethan.

Its strange how I’m trying to make myself busy for the rest of the day. The painting is nowhere near finished, but when I grab my brush, there is no inspiration, no nothing, just emptiness. It’s like within a day I became a different person, not that talented painter that everyone had been praising.

God, how could I be so stupid? It was Saturday morning; of course Colin could have come in. I can’t lose Ethan now. It's happening again and because of that one mistake he is going to abandon me.

I don’t know what time it is, but I’m trying to sleep when there is a knock at my door. Ethan hasn’t called or texted. It’s Maja.

“Hey, you have a visitor,” she whispers.

“I don’t want to see anyone at the moment.”

“Not even me?” asks a different voice, the voice I know so well. Ethan nods to Maja, who leaves, and he walks in. He closes the door behind him. His hair is ruffled and he looks like he hasn’t had much sleep. I notice black circles under his eyes and that look on his face: a hollow detached look.

I rub my eyes and sit down on the bed, smiling again. Maybe God does exist after all, because I have been praying.

“Hey, you came?” I ask.

His face is blank, revealing nothing at all, no emotions. He looks around and stares at my unfinished work for some time before he sits down on the bed.

“I wasn’t sure what to do. Bethany called; for some reason Colin told her what happened this morning. Usually, he never says anything to her.”

“Oh,” I gasp because that’s all I can manage. His ex-wife. I bet she wasn’t too happy, but it’s not her business.

“Arwen, I think it will be better if we stay away from each other until this whole thing blows over.”

“So you’re breaking up with me? That’s why you’re here, to tell me this, right?” I ask, swallowing the tears. No, I’m not going to cry now, right in front of him. I’m not that weak.

The muscles on his forehead twitch, but he looks at me with those clear amber eyes. “No, Arwen, it’s not a breakup. Colin is my son and I can’t lose him. I’m asking for some time. The opening is next week and I need to travel to a few places. I want to make things easier for everyone.”

“Just tell me, Ethan, that you don’t want to be with me. It’s better for me if you do it now,” I add, not convinced about his intentions. He is lying. He hasn’t said that he loves me. Well, maybe once when he was falling asleep. Deep down he probably doesn’t. All this time I was a fun thing for him to pass the time, some young entertainment.

He doesn’t move, breathing heavily. “Stop it, Arwen. Don’t be immature again. Time, I need some time before we can resume what we had for the sake of my family and your reputation.”

“All right,” I say dryly. He seems so cold and distant. Not like the Ethan that I know at all.

“Good. It’s only until the opening. Then we will see. Colin will realise that this whole thing had nothing to do with him, but he needs to let me explain.”

“That we met in the gallery, that our attraction was instant?” I ask.

“Yes, Arwen, that’s right. I should go. You’re tired and I have work in the morning,” he says, getting up and opening the door. My heart is being sliced to pieces. How can he act like I don’t mean anything to him?

“Bye, Ethan.”

“Bye, Arwen.”

When I hear the door close I no longer hold back the tears. I know that this is the end. I have lost him. He won’t come back to me. Everything in his life was perfect and now I’ve crushed it all. He called me an emotional mess and he thinks that I deserved being abandoned by my father.

“Arwen, are you all right?” asks Maja, coming in with a cup of tea. I just howl more. “Oh don’t cry, please. It’s going to be okay.”

When my alarm buzzes next to my bed in the morning I’m already awake, lying there. I have been up since 3:00 a.m. My conversation with Arwen didn’t go as I planned. She was very upset, but I couldn’t kiss her or touch her. Not after what happened in my apartment. Her face told me that this wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it was easier that way. My family is as equally important as she is.

I get to the office by eight after working out like crazy, but my head seems somewhere else. My assistant, Cindy, gives me a strange look after I lock myself inside. Five minutes later she arrives with coffee. This is my last week at work. My replacement is starting next week and I believe that he is competent enough to keep everything running smoothly.

“Ethan, I think you should see this,” she says, placing a morning paper on my desk. “Page four, Ethan. I’m sorry. I just thought that I’d warn you.”

“What are you talking about, Cindy?” I ask, angry, and start turning the pages. My eyes widen and blood drains from my face when I see the title.

"Deputy Chief for European Parliament Having Affair with Son's Girlfriend"

I start reading and try to keep breathing at the same time. How did anyone find out about this? Especially the press. It looks like the article has all the details, all the important facts are right. They named Arwen and there is a picture from yesterday of me going to campus.

It looks like Mr. Rivera prefers younger partners. His previous marriage ended when his wife found out that he was having an affair with his young apprentice almost ten years ago.

Our source tells us that Mr. Rivera is moving away from politics and starting his own art-dealing business, taking young Arwen under his wing.

 
I hide my face in my palms, trying to think.

“I’m sorry, Ethan. Do you want me to get you something?”

“No. No, thanks, Cindy. I need a minute alone.”

When she locks the door behind her I want to slam my head against the desk. Colin must have gone to the media, unless Bethany … No, she wouldn’t have done this. She still cares for me. I reach out for my phone and dial my son’s number.

He picks up.

“Colin,” I bark into the phone.

“Oh, hello, Papa. How are you? Have you read the paper this morning? There is an article there that might interest you.”

I grip the phone tighter, fighting with myself to keep it together.

“This will ruin me, Colin. My career in politics and my new business venture. You didn’t let me explain.”

He laughs, but nothing about it is cheerful and warm. Yes, I have made a mistake, but he didn’t need to go to the press.

“She was mine, Father. Arwen was my girlfriend and you took her away from me.”

“You weren't together,” I argue. “We had one date and I had no idea that she was dating you until she showed up with you in my apartment.”

“Liar. You were fucking her the whole time.”

“Colin, listen to yourself. We were only friends in the beginning. Only after–”

“Whatever, old man. If I can’t have her, then you won’t either.”

He slams the phone down and I want to break something. The rage inside me is unbelievable. I tangle my hair instead. My only son has ruined everything. I try to work, but Cindy starts getting phone calls from the press, asking to speak to me. Security informs her that there are journalists outside. It’s my last week and I don’t want to leave the bitter taste on everyone’s lips. This won’t reflect well on the president; he is in the middle of the term.

People are looking at me when I walk through the corridor, more than I anticipated, and I realise that it’s just the beginning.