Illusions Complete Series (22 page)

“Hmmmm, I wonder why.” She shrugged. “Well, maybe he’s embarrassed. And, uh, in college he might’ve been a better artist than he is now. Drugs can make you pretty creative.” Then she looked horrified. “Oh, shit, I…” she began, opening her mouth wide, and putting her hand over her mouth. Her eyes got enormous, and she looked genuinely mortified. I saw her visibly shake a little.

“Don’t worry, I know about the drugs.”

“Oh, thank god. Oops!” She visibly let a breath out, drooping her head.

I nodded my head. “Well, uh, please don’t tell Nate or Ryan this. But I came across some of his artwork, I think, in the attic.”

Natalie had regained her composure. “Typical. Ryan’s very modest. I guess he’s hiding this part of himself from you. Don’t worry, he’ll come clean about it.”

“What’s Cork?”

“Cork is Ryan’s boyhood home. Named after the County of Cork in Ireland. That’s where the Gallaghers originated. Guess that Benjamin was crazy about his wife at one time, huh?”

My eyes got wide about that. I remembered seeing the painting of that magnificent palace on the lake. I didn’t think that Kansas City had such splendor.

She looked at me. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I saw some paintings of this palace, and the back of the painting said ‘Cork, 1994.’”

“That would be the year that Ryan left that hell hole.”

Oh, so she does know something.

I got an idea. “And what about Maggie? Ryan talks about her, but I’ve never met her.”

She made a face. “Oh, uh, I don’t know about that.” She looked around, nervously. Then, she leaned into me a bit, like she was going to confide in me about something.

At which time, the boys appeared at our table.

Drats, foiled again!

“Hey, you two!” Ryan said. “What’s going on?”

“Just a little girl talk, you know.” Natalie looked at Ryan, and smiled at me. She got up, and whispered loudly, “charming girl. I can see why you’re crazy about her.”

I felt a little dumbfounded. First Alexis, now Natalie. How was I charming these beautiful women?

He smiled back at Natalie. “Yes, she is. She certainly is.”

He grabbed my hand. “Come on, love. Nate and I would like to treat you and Nat to some well-deserved chow.”

We headed over to Ryan’s Escalade, and the four of us piled in. The boys were up front, and Natalie and I were in the back. Natalie grabbed my hand and held it the whole way.
She certainly is touchy-feely.

Not that I minded.

Ryan said “Let’s go and see what’s happening at the Power and Light, and I can drive you back to your car after dinner.”

We ended up at a crowded restaurant in the Power and Light District. This was the District to which Natalie referred when she talked about the improvements in the city over the years. Downtown used to be a desolate, lonely place. That is, until the Power and Light District came into town, along with the downtown arena and the gorgeous performing arts center, just down the way.

The line at this particular restaurant was an hour and a half, so we decided to get some drinks at the bar while we waited to be seated.

Nate brought two scotches, for himself and Ryan, a dirty martini for me, and a pina colada for Natalie.

“Natalie likes the frou frou,” Nate teased.

“Yeah, yeah, what of it?” Natalie teased back.

Nate came around and put his arm around me. “So, I finally get a chance to talk to you. How’re you doing?”

“Great.”

“Yeah. Ryan is doing great, too. You’ve made him one happy guy.”

“He, uh, wasn’t happy before?”

“Oh, hell no. He pretty much went off the deep end after Alexis and Paul. And Mia, of course.” He looked sad, pensively looking at his scotch. Then he looked up. “But you seemed to have brought him back to life.”

I nodded.

“You seem like a solid sort. I think that Ryan made a pretty good choice, from what I hear.”

“I hope so.”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

I felt embarrassed.
Would I ever stop being insecure?

Nate cleared his throat. “Listen, I, uh, think that you feel like maybe you don’t deserve a guy like Ryan.”

He could tell that just by talking to me for five minutes? I must be completely transparent.

I didn’t say anything.

He went on. “Well, whatever you’re thinking, stop thinking it. Personally, don’t tell him I told you this, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Santa brings you something extra special. Like, you know, an engagement ring.”

My eyes popped out. “Why do you say that?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s because I’ve never in my life seen him this way. Ever. Not even with Alexis.”

“Well, you, uh, just saw him this evening. You haven’t really been around him recently.”

“Sure, but, you know, we e-mail all the time. Ryan tells me everything. I was his second-best friend in college, besides Nick.” He looked around. “Again, don’t tell him I told you. It’s just a hunch, anyhow.” He nodded his head meaningfully.

“Oh, I won’t say anything, but, uh, Ryan would pop the question without my meeting his mother?”

He made a face and frowned. “Oh, right. His mother. Well, I’m sure that you will meet her soon enough.”

I started to think that the mother was like the crazy lady in the attic in
Jane Eyre.
But, I saw Ryan looking at us while he talked to Natalie, so I decided not to press it.

“So, how did you meet Ryan in college?”

“We lived in the same building, so we started running around together, and Nick usually was around as well. Ryan is a great guy, just a really solid guy. You’re a lucky girl.”

I smiled inwardly, wondering if Nate and Ryan were like Nick and Ryan.
Stop thinking that.

“I haven’t met Nick.”

“Well, I’m quite sure that you will, sooner or later. Nick will no doubt be Ryan’s best man again.” Then he looked at me. “I guess you’re ok with their relationship, huh?”

I felt embarrassed. “Yes, yes, of course.” I don’t know why, but I assumed that Nate didn’t know about that. Then again, maybe it was always an open secret.

“That’s good. None of his friends ever really cared about that. Yeah, so they’re two dudes who are into each other. Big whoop.” Then he smiled. “But let me tell ya, the ladies all wanted to get involved when they found out about them. Two hot guys like that – I’d imagine that would be a fulfillment of every girl’s fantasy.”

“Did they fulfill many fantasies?”

“No, just Alexis’s.”

I changed the subject. “Why do you think he wants to be married to me? We haven’t known each other that long, Ryan and me. I don’t think that he’s ready to get married just yet.”

Nate took a swig of his scotch. “You’re living with him?”

“Yes.”

“And how long did it take for him to ask you to live with him?”

“Well, a few months, but-“

“But, nothing. That boy wanted you to move in the first weekend you guys met. He saw an opening when you got booted from your apartment and pounced on it.”

I was still having a hard time coming to grips with all of this. “But why?”

“Love at first sight. It happens, you know.”

“Like Tony and Maria?”

“Like Oliver and Jenny. At any rate, I see wedding bells in your near future.”

I felt excited and nervous at the prospect. I was 33 years old, and have never been close to getting married to anybody. Now, somehow, I was close to marrying this sweet Adonis.

Go figure.

“Yeah, and Ryan tells me that you are still referring to your guys’ house as ‘his house?’”

“Well, yeah, it is his house.”

Nate shook his head. “No, it’s both of yours house.”

“No, actually, it is his house. I just live there.”

He looked at me quizzically. “Now, I wonder why he didn’t tell you….”

“Tell me what?” These people were ratting out Ryan right and left.

“That he had your name put on the house deed. Don’t worry, he owns it free and clear, so you’re not on the hook for any mortgage or anything.”

Shit. I was now half owner of a multi-million dollar house?
I thought about my student loans, which were astronomical. And the IRS, which already had a lien on my bank account, and probably now has a lien on Ryan’s home.

Why didn’t he ask me first?

I just looked dumbfounded. Nate continued on. “Well, maybe that was supposed to be part of your Christmas present. So, don’t tell him that you know.”

I started to open my mouth to tell Nate about the student loans, but Ryan came over and put his arm around Nate. “Whatchyou guys talking about over here?”

“Nothing, bro. Just chit-chatting. What are you and Nat talking about? The usual, about how much she is in love with you?” Nate was only half-teasing. He no doubt knew that he was second choice.

I wondered if that bothered him.

“Nah, Nat is like a sister to me, you know that.”

“Some sister. Unless you habitually bang your sisters, I don’t think that analogy is quite appropriate.”

I made a face. Ryan looked sheepish. “It was when Alexis and I were broken up. One of the many times,” he said to me. He turned to Nate. “Why do you have to keep bringing that up?”

“Just busting your chops. Just busting your chops.” Nate chuckled. “Ancient history.”

Somehow I had the feeling that it wasn’t ancient history, at least not in Nate’s mind, but I didn’t say anything. I suddenly felt that I was being pulled into a vortex of dysfunction, once again.

Natalie came up to me, and put her arm around me. She played with my hair a little. “You’re such a cutie,” she said. I think she was getting a little buzzed, even though she just had one pina colada. That I knew of.

I smiled. She was the hottest woman in the place by a mile.
Stop feeling inferior and take the goddamned compliment.
“Thanks.”

Finally, our buzzer was going off. We all got seated, and opened our menus.

Nate looked at Ryan. “So, when are you going to move to New York, buddy? That’s where it’s at. I can get you a job at Goldman, no problem.”

Ryan looked at me. “Uh, I am staying here, in town. Iris’ family is here, so….”

“Oh, right. Okay, then. Well, you can always visit, which you haven’t done.”

“I know, I know. We’d love to come out sometime. Right, Iris?”

“Sure. I’ve never been to New York.”

“Never been? Ever? How’s that possible?” Nate asked.

“Well, I had a chance to, in college. My sister won an all-expense trip to New York by entering a trivia contest. I couldn’t go, though, so she took my gay friend Richard.” I sighed. “Actually, I should’ve gone. The only reason why I didn’t was because my loser boyfriend at the time didn’t want me to go. I just figured that I would always have the chance. I didn’t know, of course, that I would never in my lifetime get to see the twin towers. I guess it just goes to show that you take your opportunities when they come up, because they may never come again.”

“Yeah, that was a tragedy. Nat and I were working in lower Manhattan when that happened. Chaos was not the word. I was just out of college then.”

Natalie nodded. “I lost some friends in those buildings.”

“I’m terribly sorry,” I whispered, noticing some of her previous effervescence was somewhat diminished.

“Thank you.”

Nate said “Ah, well, this is getting depressing. Let’s talk about something else.” He turned to me. “Who did you vote for?”

“Obama, of course.”

“Figured as much. Ryan would never date a Republican, then or now.”

Ryan smiled and nodded his head. “Damn right.”

I looked at Nate. “How about you?”

“Well, I’m not quite in the 1%, so I had to vote for the black dude again. He has done a better job than people give him credit for.” I wondered about that. He probably was in the 1%.

Ryan certainly was.

Natalie nodded her head in agreement. “We’re both stereotypical East-Coast liberals.”

I was happy about that.

Nate looked at me. “I guess Ryan hasn’t told you much about his charitable contributions, has he?”

I looked at Ryan, who looked embarrassed and was shooting Nate a look at the same time. “Well, no. I mean, I know that he is on the board of the Humane Society and the Rose Brooks House.”

“Ah, well, Ryan has given $10 million to the Humane Society in the past ten years.” Nate looked triumphant to have given away yet another secret.

My heart soared. That was a cause which was so close to my heart, and the  American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA). And my Ryan gave $10 million to them?  I squeezed his hand, and he looked at me, red in the face.

He raised his eyebrow at Nate. “This may the first and last dinner we all have together, buddy.” He wasn’t smiling.

“Hey, lighten up. You have more charity in you than I ever will. And those animals do need protection.”

Then Ryan smiled, the tension having passed. He looked at me expectantly, and I beamed back. I couldn’t have been prouder to be with him. He smiled back at me, putting his arm around me and playfully tousled my hair. I looked at Natalie, who was staring at us sadly. I smiled at her, because I knew what she was thinking –
I wish that was me.

“I love that about you, Ryan, that you gave all that money to those animals.” Then I looked at Nate. “Animal issues are very important to me, as well. I volunteer my time for a pit bull rescue group, although I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been as active with that group lately as I should be. I really need to get back to it. It’s a very rewarding endeavor. There’s nothing like saving the life of an animal, and they show nothing but gratitude.”

I found myself having fun with these people, even though there was an undercurrent of tension between Nate and Ryan. Understandable, because Ryan apparently had a fling with Nate’s now-wife, and the now-wife still carried a torch for Ryan. A torch which was obvious for everybody to see. But Nate seemed to be handling things reasonably well, and it was clear that he still admired Ryan a great deal.

After a little while, the three of them started talking about their Harvard days, and, of course, I couldn’t contribute much to the conversation.