In the Dark (41 page)

He traced Ian by
the scent of the man she’d left with. He spotted her behind the
building they had just exited, deep in the shadows of the alleyway.
He set up his post at the mouth, close enough to stand guard but far
enough back to allow Ian privacy. He swept the street again, saw no
one, and turned his attention back to Ian.

He turned away
when Ian’s shadow came close enough to the man’s to blend
into one. He searched the street again for people who did not belong.

Shroud stood at
one end of the block, watching him.

Sebastian let
out a low growl of warning. The young pack vampire straightened,
meeting Sebastian’s eyes with a flat glare. Sebastian stood his
ground. There would be no truce tonight. Nor would Sebastian allow
another pack member to lead him off again, leaving Ian vulnerable.
Let Shroud come to him if he felt the need to settle any dispute
between them.

Shroud did not
approach. He held his own place long enough to meet Sebastian’s
gaze, then turned and stalked away. Sebastian watched him go. He
longed to tail after Shroud, follow him back to Specter. Instead
Sebastian stayed still, noting to himself that he had now seen two
pack vampires besides Specter skulking around the club district. They
– or the new shape-changer – must have the area staked
out as a likely place to find himself and Ian. His human spies should
have ample information for him.

Eyes and ears
open, he waited for Ian to finish feeding.

G
etting
the guy – Gary – out of the bar was as simple as letting
him hit on me for a while, then leaning close to his ear and asking
if he wanted to go do something more interesting.

“If you
do.” He was a little surprised but not about to turn me down.

I winked at him
and got up from my stool. He took another swallow of his drink,
staring at me, and followed me out. I put an arm around his waist as
we left, directing him down an alley. He smelled of strong aftershave
and alcohol, not the most appealing scent. Underneath it, though, I
could smell what I wanted.

My mouth was
watering bad. I had to keep swallowing every few seconds. I wanted to
take him to a quieter spot than a darkened alley, but my stomach
screamed. My knees were about to shake out from under me.

Now.

I turned and
pushed him against a wall the moment we stepped into the shadows. He
resisted, then let me as I pressed my mouth to his. I didn’t
wait for anything. I bit into his lip the moment my teeth touched
skin.

“Ouch,”
he said, playfully. I sucked, harder than I should have. I couldn’t
stop myself. It tasted so good, so
very
good.

“Ouch,”
he said again, more firmly this time. I forced myself away from his
lip and buried my face against his neck. He gasped as I dug my fangs
deep, pleasantries be damned. I wanted blood, enough to choke on,
enough to fill me. Salt-sweet-copper flooded my mouth, almost too
much to swallow. My body jerked as I gulped the huge mouthful down.
Every swallow brought on a spasm, building, getting more intense each
time.

He tried to push
me off, murmuring my name, asking me to stop. Part of me wondered why
he wasn’t wracked with spasms of ecstasy. Most of me didn’t
care. I think I shook him. I know I bit him again, deeper. He gasped
as his blood gushed, and he must have liked that okay, because he
shut up after that.

Swallow, spasm,
swallow, spasm – we were getting closer, I could feel myself
warming with his blood, making little noises with each huge mouthful.
Swallow, swallow – closer, closer – don’t stop –

His heart
pounded, pulsing blood to me, thudding in my head. The sound, the
beat, hypnotic, adding to my pleasure haze . . .

Why was his
heart beating so fast?

I hesitated.
Only for a moment, but it was enough to break the spell I was under.
I let go of Gary’s neck, confused, trying to bring myself back
to reality.

My body cried
out for more –
don’t stop, don’t stop –
my hands shook, my whole body shook. I felt dizzy and sick.

“Fuck,”
I gasped, scared, frustrated. What was wrong with me?

Hungry.

That was it. I
reached back to Gary to finish. I needed it. I had to finish or I’d
scream.

His head flopped
forward.

I stared at him
a second, then let out a weak chuckle. “Not funny,” I
told him. He didn’t move. The heat in my gut started to cool.

“Gary?”
I said. I sounded panicked. I slapped my fingers to his neck.
Thankfully found his pulse. It seemed too fast:
Thumpathumpathumpathump. Even I could tell.

I still needed
more. I’d taken – I didn’t even know how much I’d
taken. More than I usually did. Enough to hurt him. And I was still
hungry.

No, I had to
admit to myself. Not hungry.
Wanting.
Something had been cut
off. Something I wanted to finish. But my stomach was full.

Gary had gone
pale – not awful, not healthy. I shook him, watching his face.
His eyes fluttered and fell shut. I shook him again, harder. His head
came up this time, eyes focusing somewhere behind me.

“Ian?”

Okay. Okay. He
wasn’t healthy, but he wasn’t going to die. He was all
right. Or he would be after some rest. Right?

I let go of him
and he stood. Kind of. No – he slouched down to the ground.

I watched him go
down. What was I supposed to do?

Stop feeding
from him.

“Yeah,”
I said, watching him. He hadn’t moved and he still looked pale.
“Hey, Gary?” I said again, bending to shake him. He
raised his head, his eyes focusing in and out. “Hey, Gary? I
think you had too much, okay? I’m gonna call you a cab. All
right?”

He frowned,
disappointed. “You comin’?” His words slurred.

“No,
you’re just gonna go home, okay? You’re too drunk.
Understand?”

He let out a
sigh and slumped. “Shid.”

“Yeah,
well,” I said. “Better luck next time.”

I pulled out my
cell. He wouldn’t die, but he’d probably feel like hell
in the morning. Blood loss on top of whatever he’d had to
drink. I couldn’t imagine it would be fun.

I called a cab
company, told them where to find us and that Gary was pretty sloshed.
They told me someone would be right there and didn’t ask any
uncomfortable questions. I hugged myself and watched Gary while I
waited.

My memory of
feeding was a blur – I knew I had fed. Knew he’d tried to
push me off. Something had been about to happen. I wasn’t sure
what. I only knew that I wanted it.

I shoved my hair
from my face. I did not want to think about it.

The cab didn’t
take long. I got Gary tumbled into the back seat, found his address
in his wallet. I gave the driver the last of my cash and sent them
away, out of my life. Still trembling, I scurried back to Allan’s.

Sebastian stood
outside the bar, arms crossed, in full sight of everything. I winced.

“Trouble?”

“I don’t
think so,” I said, glancing over my shoulder. “Took a
little too much from that guy. I called him a cab, told him he had
too much to drink.”

Sebastian raised
an eyebrow. “If there is no problem, why are you nervous?”

I met his hard
eyes, tried to think of something to say that would make him feel how
awful I felt, how confused and worried. He met my gaze while I
floundered, then lost the questioning expression.

“Are you
finished for the night?” he asked instead.

I looked at my
feet. “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

Sebastian
started walking. There was nothing to do but go with him. I hunched
my shoulders and went.

T
he
trip back to the penthouse was uneventful. Outwardly.

Across Ian’s
face Sebastian read warring emotions, a need to speak and an
uncertainty what to say.

He had fit her
story together easily enough: Feeding her daughter had begun to take
its toll on her. The usual amount of blood she took would not sustain
her and a newly-made vampire. In her hunger, she had nearly killed a
man. She felt ashamed, but more than that, frightened. Of herself,
and of other vampires.

A wise position.
Vampires were creatures to be feared, even by other vampires.
Especially by other vampires. However, the strength of her fear went
beyond common sense. She feared what she had become.

Weeks ago –
even days ago – Sebastian would not have understood. He would
have come to the same conclusions, but he would have dismissed the
emotions as out of his realm of comprehension.

Now . . .

He understood
Ian’s position painfully well.

The silence
pervaded the entire trip. Sebastian half-hoped that Ian might talk if
he stayed silent, but by the time they had reached the parking garage
the weighted silence had not broken.

When the
elevator doors opened on the penthouse, both Amanda and Josephine
looked up. Josephine tensed to fight, then dropped the posture when
she recognized them. Amanda, with all the markers of a hungry
vampire, seemed wary even after she realized who had come in.
Nervous.

Ian paused for a
moment. The shame and grief in her posture intensified, and then she
fled. Down the hallway to vanish into her borrowed room.

Amanda stared
after her. “What happened?”

“Ian came
close to killing a man.” Sebastian stepped more sedately from
the elevator.

Amanda could not
hide her shock. “What? Why?”

“She is
hungry,” Sebastian told her. “Regularly feeding another
is draining, and being allowed out only under guard makes it
difficult to feed sufficiently.”

Amanda stared at
him, then down the hall after her sister. As if she wanted to go
after Ian but couldn’t decide if she should. Sebastian honestly
did not know if Amanda’s presence would make Ian feel better or
worse. He remained silent.

Josephine’s
brow puckered in sympathy. “Oh, the poor thing. No wonder she
looked like that!”

Sebastian tilted
his head in acknowledgment, but made no other move. Josephine noticed
after only a moment. She stood from the couch and came to him, put
her arms around him. He hugged her back, yearning to stay in her arms
for long, long hours. Instead, he kissed her shortly and stepped
back. Distracted by long-dead emotions or no, Sebastian needed to end
this.

“I have to
go.”

“Where?”
she asked.

“Hunting.”

Her mouth
tightened, but she only nodded. “I want to come with you. I can
fight.”

“No,”
Sebastian said.

“I can
fight,” Josephine repeated, as though he had not heard her.

“I do not
doubt you,” he said, and he did not. Many vampires learned that
they must take their defense into their own hands. She had certainly
learned the same lesson, as the sword calluses on her hands revealed.
“When I kill Specter, the pack will show me honor in respect
for the oaths we swore to each other. Until I am labeled traitor
myself, they must keep those vows. They will show no such respect to
you.”

Josephine’s
face tightened. “I’m not trained to fight fair,”
she said, but she lacked conviction. She understood as well as
Sebastian that no amount of dishonorable fighting skill would save
her if the entire pack descended on her.

If that
happened, Sebastian’s own oaths would prevent him from coming
to her aid. He could call challenge in exchange for her life,
certainly, but if he did not kill her himself when he won the pack
would swarm them both. He could not stand to let that happen.

“No,”
he said again, gently. “Stay here, keep Ian and Amanda safe. I
can see to myself.”

She didn’t
like it. But all she said was, “Come home to me.”

Sebastian
flicked an eyebrow up at that. “I was not Specter’s first
lieutenant for no reason. I will come home.”

Josephine
nodded, though her face betrayed worry. He kissed her again, wishing
he could offer her more than that, wishing they had not come together
at such a turbulent time.

Then again, if
none of these events had occurred, they might not have come together
at all.

She touched his
cheek as they parted. He boarded the elevator alone.

He had not been
Specter’s first lieutenant for no reason, he had said. It was
time to remind him of that.

M
y
feet dragged into the penthouse, my mind still on Gary. I spotted
Amanda instantly. Her skin had that hungry whiteness, her eyes as
dark as bruises. She needed to feed. She avoided looking at me.

Everything was
falling apart. Everything. Kent, Emily, Amanda; PTSD shakes, a scary
new vampire world, the possibility of losing Sebastian. And now I had
almost become a murderer. I felt lost. Trapped.

Amanda would not
look at me.

So I ran. Down
the hall to my borrowed bedroom. I shut the door and threw myself on
the bed. Hugged my pillow to my face.

God, Kent,
what have you gotten me into?

Something I
couldn’t get out of again.

I thought I
didn’t have any more tears. I was wrong. I burrowed my face
into my arms and cried.

I felt so
stupid. Stupid enough to let myself get so hungry, stupid enough to
give in to some bizarre desire instead of going easy on Gary. Too
stupid to know what to do when Kent got killed. Too stupid to save
Emily. And stupid enough to let Amanda get brought into this whole
mess.

Was I any better
than the people who had killed her?

I hugged my
pillow tighter. That was what I had turned into tonight in that
alley. A hungry animal, eating a human being. Just like the vampires
who had eaten my sister.