In the Shadow of Shakespeare (34 page)

Alice
didn't want to talk to them.  What could she say?  After all, Christ
was sacrificed.  She rolled over on the bed so she could smother a laugh.

"I
think I'll be going Albert.  Is there anything I can get you, tell you,
before I leave?"

Albert
sighed.  "No, I'm afraid there is nothing I need right now.  Or
need to know for that matter.  What I do need to know you can't provide,
and I will have to wait.  But thank you, so much, you have no idea how
much your presence here means to me."

"Well,
I can't really say I'm surprised that this happened.  Now that I look back
on it it seems she, Alice, was being driven up against the wall and had no
place to turn but fantasy.  Unfortunately it consumed the totality of her
psyche, all of her energy."

"Yes. 
Quite right.  And uncompensated for it all.  I will speak with you
soon."

"Call
if you need anything Albert.  Please."

"Yes,
thanks again.  Take care."

The
door closed and Selena briefly spoke with the nurse on duty, Alice could not
make out who it was. 

Albert
got up from the chair. He bent over the bed and smoothed her hair. 
"I'm sorry love, I must be going.  I have that class to teach. 
Beginning psyche.  And there's no way out of it.  I'll be back
tomorrow. "

She
lay there after Albert left and listened to the sounds of footsteps and voices
in the ward.   There was a shout, and a brief scuffle somewhere down
the hall.  The soothing sound of a doctor eased the hysterical cries of a
patient and the floor went back to its pleasantly  normal facade. 

She
could not be certain where she was.  This seemed to be a large hospital,
and

she
tried to remember if Albert had ever mentioned it. 

Alice
got out of bed and went to the window.  There was a spacious manicured
lawn with a line of trees by the road.  Older patients in wheelchairs were
arranged on the grass with staff members dressed in white. 

"Hello. 
Up and around today?"

Alice
turned from the window.  "Where am I?"

The
nurse smiled.  "Pinehurst.  A resting home for the
elderly."

"I'm
not old."

"And
those whose nerves are shattered."

"So
you take in people with neurological disorders?  And crazy people?"

A
look of surprise crossed the nurse's face.  "Well…I wouldn't call the
people, clients, here, crazy."

"I'm
crazy."

The
nurse smiled.  "Can I take your blood pressure please?"

"But
I'm not ill.  Just crazy."

"I
still have to take your blood pressure.  It's procedure."

Alice
held out her arm and the nurse pushed up her sleeve.  The movement of
cloth against skin reminded Alice of Kit and his quill.  She felt the
slow, sensuous movement brushing along her back.  She shivered.

"Are
you cold?  I can get you a blanket."

"I'm
hungry.  When's lunch?  When do I get out of here?"  Alice
thought she might drive to Taco Bell and get a cheesy bean and rice
burrito.  Now that she was back in the twenty first century.

The
nurse rolled the sleeve down over her arm.  "I don't know. 
You'll have to ask the doctor."

Alice
realized that would be either Albert or Selina. 

She
got up from the bed and went to the window again.  "Will I also have
to ask the doctor when lunch is scheduled?"

The
nurse laughed.  "Of course not.  Lunch is at noon," she
glanced at the wall clock.  "In fifteen minutes."

"And
you'll bring it to me?"

"No,
one of the lunch aides will."  She patted Alice's arm. 
"Don't worry, you'll be out of here soon.  You seem quite
normal."

Alice
stared out the window.  "You have no idea."

 ***

Lunch
consisted of tasteless ham sandwich on white bread with canned pears in a small
ceramic white dish.  Alice played with her pears and opened her cellophane
wrapped chocolate chip cookie.  Dipping it in milk she watched the people
out the window.  The woman in the red hospital gown and wild gray hair sat
in her wheelchair conversing with another older woman on a bench.  Today
she had on a grey coat the color of steel wool.  The wind picked blew her
hair around her face.  She took a clip from her pocket and arranged her
hair on top of her head, clipping it into place. 

The
door opened and Alice turned from the window.  Albert entered with a
bouquet of flowers.  Red roses.

He
hugged her.  "You're looking fresh today.  Fresh as a
flower."  He held a rose to her face, caressing her cheek.

She
turned her face away from him.  "Albert, what am I doing here? 
And when am I getting out?"

"I
told you why you were here.  You should be here just another week
for  – "

"That
is complete crap, Albert." She stood and the blood flushed to her
face.  "I need to get out of here and you try to pacify me with
roses.  Bullshit."

He
sighed.  "You need to speak to Selina for an evaluation."

"Says
who?"

"It's
the standard procedure for dismissal from Pinehurst."

"Well
I don't want Selina for my shrink.  I told you that earlier."

"I
committed you, Alice.  And as a competent spouse what is in the paperwork
goes.”

He
stood there, so self-satisfied and so firm in his conviction of her madness
that she picked up the flower vase and threw it against the wall.  It
shattered sending water and roses everywhere. 

His
face turned to disbelief.  "That is an indication, proves to me that
you
need
to be evaluated to leave."

"What
it proves is that I'm angry, Albert.  Even sane people get angry. 
Did it ever occur to you that being here, not being heard, might make me
angry?"

"Darling,
that's what the evaluation is for, to make certain you can stand on your own
two feet, come back into the world."

"I
don't need a piece of paper telling me I'm sane.  I know I'm sane."

"Let's
get through it then so we can leave."

"No.
You
leave Albert."

"What?"

"Just
leave!"

"What
do you mean?  The room?"

"Yes."

An
orderly appeared at the door.  He was a big beefy man dressed in white
with a blue and green tattoo on his bicep. 

"Need
any help here?  I heard a crash."  He said.

"No,
thanks.  I was just leaving."

"Wait,"
the orderly looked confused.  "you're not the patient are you?"

"No. 
Ms Petrovka is the patient.  I was just on my way out.  It seems she
doesn't care for my flowers."

The
orderly snickered.  "Tough break, buddy.  What can ya do?"

He
shut the door leaving Alice alone and staring at a wall drenched in water with
shattered glass and roses strewn about the floor.

Chapter 44

Albert
did not return for an evaluation or to sign any papers.  Selina was in to
see her every few days, and Alice would smile and act noncommittal about her
state of affairs, or when she wanted to leave.  She said Albert would
return

Most
days she would peer out the window and watch the woman with the long gray hair
hold center court with a group of women.  She would animatedly discuss
some topic and the wind would blow her hair behind her or in front of her face,
at which point she would always extract a clip and expertly flip it in a sort
of chignon at the back of her head.

Alice
got the feeling she was expert in a lot of things.

She
sat in the gray chair by the window and opened a book.  There were a great
deal of books accumulating by the chair by the window, for she had been
requesting books from the university.  The staff did not think this was
that strange.  They knew she was a playwright and owned a theatre. 

Alice
sat back in her chair. No one had called to come visit.  Everyone had
seemed downright squeamish in fact, Albert had said.  Everyone except
Joannie.  Joannie had gotten in touch with Albert to check on her and said
she would stop in to see her soon.  Alice smiled at the thought. 
Joannie the only one brave enough to stop in to check on the crazy woman. 

She
turned back to her books, picked one up,
Symbols and Mystery in the
Renaissance. 
Flipping through it she came to a picture of an
alchemist, holding a sun in one hand and a moon in the other.  The symbol
of Venus was stationed above his head. 

She
had requested everything she could get her hand on regarding Elizabethan
history, Shakespeare, symbolism and the Renaissance.  Carefully checking
bibliographies, footnotes, and references to a possible trail she might take
regarding the research, she made extensive lists of the books she needed. 
When the night nurse came in to check her vitals she would hand her the list.

The
nurse would always smile and take the list from her hand.

"I
see you've been busy today."

"What
else is a crazy playwright to do with her time? Do you give this information to
my doctor?"

"What
information?"

"This
lists for my books I've requested."

"Of
course I do.  I have to share everything I observe about you to the authorities
who are managing your case."

"Of
course."

Alice
felt like she was under the looking glass.  A bug being observed. 
She wondered if this is how Kit Marlowe felt when he had slipped away to
Calais.  Did he wonder why she had never shown in Deptford? 
What
did he think?
  All this history had passed since then. 

History. 
She wondered if there was a way to go back and tell him.  How had she
fallen through this rip in time? 
Or had it always been there?

Reading
the sonnets over and over she found herself within the words.  And the
woman who came after her.  The dark lady.  Was she the woman at
court? 

She
couldn't blame him.  How utterly lonely he must have felt sailing away
from everyone and everything he knew and loved.  It must have been like
she felt now, everything had been blown apart and must be put back together
again.

Alice
wondered if he had made it to Italy.  She was determined to find out.

She
peered out the window.  The woman with the long gray hair was staring at
two ducks swimming lazily in the pond.  Alice shut her book and let the
sun streaming in through the window warm her face. 

 ***

She
awoke to a brisk knock on the door.  Startled, she sat upright in her
chair.  The night nurse appeared with Joannie trailing behind, peering
over her shoulder.

"I
have a surprise for you." the nurse said.

"Look
what the cat dragged in." said Alice.

"Hey
you, Petrovka.  What's up?"  Joannie smiled, then looked away,
embarrassed.

"I'll
leave you two to chat."  The nurse left the room.

Alice
looked down at the floor.  "Well?"

"Maybe
I should have said, you're
definitely
not up."

Laughing,
Alice looked at Joannie.  "I am
so
happy Bryant, you are not
going to tip toe around me."

"I
would be doing a great disservice to you, Petrovka.  And to myself."
Joannie sat next to her in a chair facing the window.  "Interesting
woman out there with the gray hair."

"Yes. 
I think I will approach her at the craft session today."

"Crafts? 
That definitely sounds like something crazy people do." Joannie said.

"We
have to do something around here."

"Hmm. 
So what's up with this crazy business anyway."

"Had
an experience.  Went back in time, talked to Christopher Marlowe, found
out for certain he was Shakespeare.  Was acting in a play and I was
suddenly transported forward in time.  Boom!  Here I am."

Joannie
laughed.  "Well, well.  Quite an adventure.  Really doesn't
surprise me though."

"You're
the
only
person who'd say that."

"Of
course.  Playing along with your big adventure of Alice falling into the
looking glass, down the rabbit hole – "

"Oh
how weird Bryant, that's exactly the way it was.  There was this dwarf’s,
Alvis was his name, eyeball, and – "

"
Puhleeze!
 
I don't think I can deal with it all right now.  Remember I have to
pretend to be sane.  Unlike yourself."

"Alright. 
I can see how it could be a bit overwhelming."

"So
what's next on your big adventure?" 

Alice
looked out the window at the woman with the gray hair rolling away in her
wheelchair.  "I need to show the world that Christopher Marlowe was,
no
is
, Shakespeare."