In The Spur of Heath (The Spur Series Book 1) (27 page)

“Uh huh.” He replied in that same unconvinced tone he had yesterday.
That’s it, he will find out sooner or later.
He was about to enter the car.

“Heath?” My heart began palpitating. He turned back to me. My mouth went dry and my throat began to burn. I hesitated to get the words out.

“Reese?” He sounded impatient.

“Nothing. Never mind.” I exhaled and faked a smile.

“Uh huh.” He replied and got into the car.

I almost told him the truth but couldn’t bring myself to it. I was a nervous wreck.

As we made our way home, I stared out the window and he kept glancing at me. He then held onto my hand. I turned to him and faked a smile. He could tell I was distracted and there was hardly anything I did to keep him from thinking something was wrong. “Reese?” He began and I faced him, “Is something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine, Heath.” He looked at me very unconvinced. I paused in thought for a moment before I asked, “Where do you see us in a few years?”

“What do you mean? Professionally, or…”

“Us – our relationship?” I replied.

“Well, we’ve never really discussed it, but I love you, Pieces. You’re my best friend and I would definitely like to make you more than that.” He smiled so genuinely at me. It warmed my heart and made me hate myself even more. I couldn’t control the tears forming in my eyes or the burning in my throat. I was so disappointed in myself. My life has become a constant whining of my love life and a debate over two guys. How did I reach here?

My biggest problem a year and a half ago was getting into Dillcaster. I swore off relationships and men in order to focus on my future. Maybe I should just dump the both of them and call it a day. The sad thing is I know who I want, but with that knowledge I risk losing the other’s friendship. Did I even deserve it now? Especially after the way in which I betrayed him yesterday?

“Reese? Are you okay?” He asked breaking me from my train of thought.

“I’m fine.” I managed to reply.

Over the next few days, it was more of the same; secret rendezvous with Jake, amazing sex and being totally distracted when I’m with Heath. I barely paid attention to him and he didn’t say much about it, he just kept quiet, trying to understand what was going on. Maybe in his head, he knew, but his heart refused to accept it. I was pulling away, we were drifting apart and our relationship was in shambles.

Even when he would try to get romantic or intimate, I made excuses or spaced, creating an even bigger gap between us. Ultimately, it was what I wanted. The gap to grow so big that he would decide it wasn’t working and end it with me. That way, I knew we would still remain friends. But instead, he tried terribly to get my attention, to make it work, to do sweet little things for me. But it was useless, I was hypnotised by Jake. I was being a selfish, heartless bitch to Heath and it really did hurt me to do it to him, but I couldn’t help but follow my heart. I was blinded by my love and nothing else mattered.
How could I hurt him like this?

Heath was going to San Francisco for the weekend on a business meeting and I was free to spend it with Jake. I was dying to spend the night with him and wake up in his bed, with his arms around me, like the way we used to. Nothing was more exciting.

Heath had his bag packed on the living room floor while we both ate a bowl of cereal. “Pieces, are you sure you’re gonna be okay for the weekend? I don’t know why you don’t want to come.”

“Heath, I’m fine. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do this weekend. You know that. I’m sorry. I know how badly you want me to meet your dad, but, I just can’t.”
I don’t deserve to meet the parents! Seriously, dude!

“You know, you have been really distant lately. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it hurts.” He put down his spoon and looked at me. “Are you okay? Am I doing something wrong?”

I instantly lost my breath, my chest tightened up and the hurt on Heath’s face was very apparent. This was the first time he had openly mentioned the distance.
I’m such a selfish bitch!
I bit on my lip. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I didn’t realise. I’ve just been trying to do my best in school, then the writing for your dad. I’ve just been really busy.”
Lies! Busy fucking Jake!

“I get that, Reese, I do. But even with all of that, you’ve changed. We’ve changed.” He then pursed his lips and sighed.  “Look, I think we need another vacation.” He smiled. “I actually wanted to take you out this weekend, surprise you. But then my dad wanted me to come to this meeting…”

“With what?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. He then suddenly became very hesitant and anxious. He got up from his stool and pulled something out of his pocket. And with a small smile, he kissed me on my forehead and placed a jewellery box in front of me.

I opened it, my hands trembling as I did.
Gasp!
It was a beautiful diamond ring set on a white gold band, surrounded by several smaller diamonds. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I just froze.
What? How? Why? Why? Heath, why?
His smile slowly faded when he saw the apprehensiveness on my face. “Reese?” His voice croaked. I looked up at him. “You don’t like?”

“So soon?” I managed to reply.

“You asked me a question a few days ago, it got me thinking, why not now. I don’t need to wait a few more years to know that I love you and want to be with you. I mean, we don’t have to get married right away, but I just want to prove my commitment to you. This is very real to me. I just want to finally call you more than a girlfriend.”

I forced a smile. I was digging myself into a deeper pit. “Of course.” I replied.
Oh gosh, why did I just agree? Jake is going to flip out!
Heath had the brightest smile that I had ever seen on his face. “I love you!” He held onto me and kissed me. He then placed the ring on my finger and I just stared at it, drowning in my thoughts as I did. “You, too.” I responded impassively.

After Heath left for San Francisco, I sat on the sofa staring at my ring. It was really beautiful.
Whoa, it was the same one I had told him I had always wanted at one time when we were talking. That was before he was even with Caroline.
I was so caught up in my emotions that I didn’t even realise. Was I making the wrong decision with Jake? My heart belonged to him, and he loved me all the same. But Heath, I don’t even know where to begin. I needed help and a huge intervention.

Soon enough, a knock came at my door, bringing me out of my reverie. I shot up and answered it. “Jake!” I beamed. Seeing him alone made me totally forget about everything concerning Heath. He was dressed in a white cardigan and blue jeans, his hair longer and wild. He bit on his lip and watched me seductively with those gorgeous blue eyes. “God, you look so fucking sexy right now.” He grinned maliciously and looked around before grabbing hold of me. I began to giggle. All my frustrations melting away.

I held onto his face to kiss him, but the feel of my ring caught his attention. He grabbed hold of my hand and looked at me. His smile vanished within seconds. “What the fuck is this, Reese?” I gulped hard and just stared at him with round eyes. I didn’t even know what to say. “He proposed?” I nodded hesitantly. “Why the fuck would you say yes?”

“You know why.” I stammered.

“No. Fuck that! You’re playing me!” He pulled away.

“No, I’m not. I haven’t even slept with him since we got back together.” I protested.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to believe that. Why the fuck would he propose to someone he’s not fucking? Huh?” He was so angry. I never saw Jake look nor hear him speak this way. I was a bit scared. It was as if he was a totally different person.

“Jake? What the fuck?”

“No.” He picked up my hand. “What the fuck!”

“Baby.” I yanked my hand away from him. “Please, believe me. I have no reason to lie to you. I’ve always been honest with you.” He looked at me, his breathing slowing. “I panicked and I felt terrible. He was my best friend. I care about him. You know that. I used to confide in you a lot back then.” As my words resonated with him, he began to calm down.

“This is too much for me, Reese.”

“I know. I know. But you should understand my predicament. He’s innocent in all this. I can’t just fuck him over like that.”

“While I understand all that, I feel like you’re fucking me over.”

“I’m sorry, Jake. I’m so sorry.” I broke down and he consoled me.

“No…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. It’s just…this stress of wanting to be with you and people preventing it from happening is beginning to irritate the fuck out of me. I am so sorry, Reese. Forgive me?”

“I do.” He smiled, wiped away my tears with his thumbs and kissed me.
He was one of those that would go straight to a hundred, huh?
“You ready to get outta here?” He asked as he embraced me and I nodded. “Yep. Right now. I can’t wait to spend this long awaited weekend with you.” I half-smiled.

“Good. Get your stuff.” He whispered into my ear sending my pores into a prickling frenzy.

We got into the back of the Escalade that Sven was driving. We made a brief stop to buy some fast food on our way back to Jake’s. When Sven dropped us off at the house, we walked inside while laughing at the whole misunderstanding with Kai.

“I can’t believe you told me he was gay though.” I giggled as I made my way to the kitchen and placed the food on the counter.

“Yeah, well I didn’t know what to say. I panicked.” He followed closely behind and wrapped his arms around me, kissing the back of my neck.

“Ooo.” I moaned and turned towards him. My ring grabbed his attention again.

“Do you mind taking that shit off, Reese?”

“I’m sorry.” I then removed the ring. “Now, where were we?” I smiled and began kissing him. He then picked me up and placed me on top of the kitchen counter. I wrapped my legs around him as he took my mouth in his. Our hands travelling up and down each other’s body.

In a swift unexpected movement, he scooped me up from the counter, carried me up the stairs and into the bedroom, laying me on the bed. He turned on the music and the sexy hypnotising sound of
Cut by Hopium
floated through the room. He removed every stitch of clothing from both our bodies as I laid on the bed playfully admiring every inch of him.
He was so hot to me!

Without much more hesitation or words from either of us, he carried me into the shower. I stood silently. My hair falling artfully around my face and down my back as I anticipated his next move. He paced around me, looking down in a domineering stare. I just kept my head down, avoiding his intense gaze. “Reese.” He whispered with a slight hiss at the end that shot the hairs on the back of my neck straight up.

Just the sound of his voice could make me wet. He had that power over me. A sickeningly excruciating power that I ironically loved. How was I supposed to quit him for Heath when I didn’t even want to? I was obsessed and he bared the same feeling toward me. Give up that? Never!
But you’re engaged!
That nauseating reminder rung off in my head and when Jake placed his soft lips to the back of my neck every single thought that bombarded me shattered. He turned on the shower and warm water sprouted over us. He then turned me toward him, grabbed hold of my face and stared into my eyes. Before I could say a word he took my mouth in his.

Every moment passed by grew more and more intense. Our tangling tongues. Caressing bodies. And curious hands moving all over each other. Soon enough, my breasts and face were pressed hard into the glass door of the shower as he eased his length slowly into me. I relished in the fullness of his body and bit on my bottom lip, moaning and gyrating my hips in time with his. His hands gripped onto the sides of my waist as his thrusts grew more violent.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The sound of the door as he pounded himself even harder into me, occasionally smacking hard on my ass.

Yes, this was everything!
Our bodies slippery from a mixture of sweat, steam and warm water. He then pulled out, spun me around and hoisted me on top of him. This time my back was against the door as he thrusted his hips back and forth. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back as my fingers weaved through his hair at the nape of his neck. I gripped onto the grooves of the door trying to keep myself balanced and stable. He bent his head, his forehead on my chest as he pounded. Grunts and subtle moans. Sweat and steam. Thrusts and tense muscles. My nails in his back. His lips on mine. My fingers weaving through his hair. His electric blue eyes burning with lust. And soon, it was all over. We collapsed to the floor of the bathroom, soaking in the shower, our bodies tangled together.

After our bathroom activities, we snuggled up to each other on the bed. We locked gazes as we were in deep conversation. “I remember the first time I saw you.” He whispered.

“Really? What was that like?”

“It was during orientation. I was at the front of the room and was about to give my welcome speech when my eyes fell on you. You were the cutest little thing I had ever seen, with your little beanie and converse sneakers.” He laughed.

“You remember that? Oh my God.”

“Yeah I did, then when I showed you all to the classroom, you spoke and it took me by surprise, because of the accent.”