In The Spur of Heath (The Spur Series Book 1) (34 page)

“Jake.” I began to cry. “She’s gone.” I broke down.

“I know. Reese. I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked and he bent his head, leaning against the side of the bed and began to cry uncontrollably. I passed my hand through his hair. We were both so broken. I couldn’t comfort him anymore than he could comfort me. He wiped his face and tried to compose himself. “I asked the doctor if we could have a final farewell and he said it was okay. The nurse will bring her.”

“Really?” Jake asked with a small smile.

Just then, the nurse came in holding what looked like just a blanket. She gave Jake the baby. She was so tiny and pink, she could have fit in one hand. Jake smiled upon seeing her. “Amara.” He whispered. He then kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry daddy failed you.” Tears streamed down his face as he looked at her adoringly. He then passed her to me. I began to cry and winced at the tug of my stitches. She was so beautiful, looked a lot like Jake. “How could you be so perfect?” I whispered with a bitter-sweet smile. “I love you.” I whispered and gave her a kiss. Jake took out his phone and snapped a picture of her, and then one of the three of us.

After a couple minutes, the nurse returned and took Amara away. The pain that I felt as she was whisked away from me was just too indescribable. I wanted to hurt Kin for taking away my only baby from me. I was angry. So many inhumane thoughts ran through my mind.

Jake and I just stared at each other. We were both hurting over this. I wondered if he wanted to hurt Kin as much as I did. “Where’s Heath?” I asked after a while.

“He knows the baby is mine, Reese. He left.”  I knew it was the right thing but I still felt like my heart dropped. I could only imagine how hurt and angry he was. “Thank you for letting him know.” I managed to say after marinating in my thoughts for a moment.

“You’re welcome.”

“Where is she?” I asked.

“Locked up. Police have her in custody. The shooting was taped.” I closed my eyes and tears spilled down my cheeks. My throat burned and my body ached. Apart from the gunshot, I had to undergo an emergency C-section. I was sore all over. “And what happens now?”

“Kai and Joey are handling her when she goes to prison.”

“And her lunatic family?”

“She wouldn’t even get to call them. All of this will happen discreetly. And they won’t come after me for her fuck up.” He assured me.

“Make her suffer, please.” I pursed my parched lips together.

“I’m counting on it.” He replied. “I’m gonna make sure all of her rights as a human are revoked and her trial is fast-tracked so Kai could get someone to do the job inside.” His eyes cold as he talked. They then switched. “I’m so sorry I put you through this?” He clasped my hand. “It’s all my fault.”

“Don’t…Jake. Don’t say that. We’re alright. We’ll be alright.” I sobbed.

He reclined his head, staring at me as I dozed off, his hand still holding mine. He looked at his watch and it was almost 10am. He eased his arm from under my hold on got up, kissed me on the forehead and exited the room.

He made his way down to the canteen and got a cup of coffee and sandwiches. He pulled a chair out from one of the tables and sat down, taking a bite of one of the sandwiches as he did. “Excuse me, are you Jacob Cavanaugh?” An older male voice asked.

“Who’s asking?” Jake asked and looked up at the person. He paused. His eyes wide. A Caucasian man dressed in scrubs with bright blue eyes, a thin nose and a salt and pepper beard was standing in front of him. Jake gulped and a grimace appeared. “The hell do you want?” He spat.

“Son.” The man replied croakily.

“You gave up the right to call me son years ago.” Jake growled. “What are you doing here?”

“I work here. I’m an aesthetician. I’ve asked your mother for you numerous times.”

“Yeah, I know. And I told her I didn’t want to hear from you. You fucked us over.”

“It wasn’t my intention, son.”

“Na, fuck you. It was. You beat and cheated on mom endlessly, then left one day and never came back. You didn’t give a fuck about my future or anyone else for that matter.”

“I was on drugs, Jacob. I went off on a bender. When I got myself clean, I tried to contact you again.”

“Save your excuses. No one forced you to do drugs and lose your mind.” Jake stood up from his seat. He was the same height as the man. “You know, I was a father for about five minutes tonight, and I was better than you ever were in my lifetime.”

“The shot pregnant girl?” The man inquired.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Jake scowled for a second before becoming defensive again. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d prefer you leave me the fuck alone.”

“Jacob…”

“Jai?” A redheaded nurse with bright blue eyes called out. The man craned his neck back at her. “They’re ready for you.”

“Okay. I’ll be there. Give me a minute.” He then turned back toward Jake. “Son, please. Your mother has my number. Call me, okay. So we could talk.” Jake stared blankly, clenching his jaw as the man walked
off with the redheaded nurse.

After spending almost three weeks at the hospital, I was finally discharged. I was so broken up about my baby, and so too was Jake. Apart from that, I was also worried about Heath. I was dreading seeing him again. I already had enough on my plate.

Kin was given a plea bargain deal to avoid trial as there was concrete evidence that she killed my baby and tried to kill me. She had her hearing in a couple days and I couldn’t wait to get her out of my life for good.

Sven dropped me off at Heath’s so I could collect my belongings. I knocked on the door and Heath answered. His face hardening upon seeing me. My bright smile slowly faded as the reality of our relationship set in. “Hi Heath.” I sounded hopeful.

“Reese.” He replied monotonously.

“How’ve you been?” I asked stepping inside.

“You seriously dare to ask me that? How could you, Reese? How could you play me for a fool?”

“Heath, I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I never meant…”

“Save it, you’re no better than Caroline. Just take your things and get the bloody hell out of my face.” He stomped away into his bedroom and slammed his door, leaving me in the living room by myself. Tears escaped from my eyes and I wiped them away, trying to compose myself. I made my way up the stairs and into my old bedroom.
Huh?
Oh my god.

He boxed everything up and had it packed in the middle of my room. As if no one even lived here. It broke my heart. I just went through the most tragic loss in history and he wasn’t there to comfort me. I pushed him away. I created this circumstance due to my selfishness.

I slumped down onto the floor. The little box that I had stored all of our memories was in my view. I opened it and pulled out the card that he had made for my birthday and rummaged through our old pictures. How simple things were.

Loud noises were coming from his room.
What the hell?
I dusted myself off and made way to his bedroom and knocked on the door.
Is that a girl I hear giggling?
“Heath?” I called out as I knocked on the door. Suddenly a girl with nothing on swung open the door. “Yes?” She asked. She had long dirty blonde hair, green eyes and a stupid hoop ring on her nose. She looked like Kesha. I tried to look past her and saw Heath lying on the bed with nothing but a towel on, smoking a cigarette with a bottle of vodka in his hand and condom packets strewn across the floor. My eyes widened. I just shook my head and turned away. I felt hurt although I had no right to. It was still painful to see nonetheless.

I got Sven to load my things into the car – my stitches were still very raw. After he finished, I took one last look at my former home. One last look at the smashed pictures of Heath and I on the wall of the corridor. I placed a note and the engagement ring on the breakfast bar.

As I made my way down the steps of the porch and toward the Escalade where Sven was waiting for me, my heart sank. How much more would I lose? How much more heartache could I take? I lost my daughter, my best friend, former love of my life and now it seems I lost everything good about myself. I cheated on Heath, had a baby on him and broke his heart. I was the reason he was in that room with some trashy looking slut binging on alcohol and cigarettes. I was destroying everything in my path and I felt terrible. Heath deserved better and I broke him.

We pulled up in front of Jake’s house. Both his fixed DB9 and Prius were in the driveway, along with my BMW. Sven called him over the phone. “Boss, we are outside.” He said in his militant Scandinavian accent. “Ms. Singh?” He looked at me through the rear view mirror and I exchanged glances. “Mr. Cavanaugh tells me to let you come inside. I’ll take care of the bags.”

“Thank you, Sven.”

“Not a problem, miss.” He nodded and got out of the vehicle. He then opened the door and helped me out. As I was walking towards the double doors of Jake’s house, he swung them open and walked briskly toward me. “Hey.” I smiled half-heartedly.

“Are you alright?” He asked taking notice of my unenthusiastic demeanour. “Something happen?”

“Well, you know. I saw Heath. Didn’t go too well.”

“I’m sorry.” He replied and embraced me. “My mother wanted to come by tomorrow to see how you are doing. Are you okay with that?” He asked holding me at an arm’s length.

“Yeah, sure that’s fine.” I nodded. We walked into the house while Sven unloaded my bags.

I sat at the breakfast bar while Jake took out food for me. “Does your mother know, Jake?”

“Know about what?” He asked craning his neck back at me.

“The truth. How you made your money? Kin? Everything?”

“Yeah. She does actually.” He set my plate down in front of me; fried rice, baked chicken, steamed string beans and carrots and corn. “Not at first though. She found out. She caught an absolute fit when she did which influenced my decision to quit earlier than expected. That’s why she never talked about Kin much. She didn’t like her influence on me.”

“Did you ever love her?” I asked as I bit on a string bean.

“I did. But she was consumed by that life. So much that she changed a lot. Began thinking she was untouchable and could get whatever she wanted. Then she became crazy and possessive. I couldn’t take it anymore. She was nothing like you, though. You. I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you. Not even Lena.” I tried hard not to blush.

“Food is delicious, thank you.” I smiled after I took a bite.

“I’m glad you like it.” He paused for a moment. “My mom’s glad I got rid of Kin, and Lena. But she definitely likes you. She was so happy for the millisecond I told her you were pregnant, then I had to tell her what happened. She was really upset.”

“Upset doesn’t begin to describe the way I feel right now.”

“I know. I feel it too.” He scowled. “She was really beautiful.” He said with a bittersweet smile.

“Yeah, she looked like you.” I smiled too. Then we became silent for what seemed like eternity until Sven came in and broke the silence. “Mr. Cavanaugh?” He nodded his head.

“Finished?” Jake asked him.

“Yes sir.” Sven replied.

“Great. Thanks, Sven. I already deposited your salary into your account. Take the rest of the weekend off.”

“Are you sure, sir?”

“Yep. Go be with the family.” Jake and Sven exchanged smiles.
Wow he smiles? Don’t see that very often.
“My condolences to you both.” He nodded politely before leaving.

After dinner, I went into the bedroom and lay on the bed. I spoke to Sal for more than an hour, telling her everything that transpired and she broke down in tears. She was really looking forward to the baby.

After our conversation, I just stared into oblivion. Just thinking about life and everything that had happened. Just a few months ago, I was young, playful, free spirited and cared only about school and Heath. Simply put, I was naïve – barely out of my teenage mind set. These few short months – that felt way more than that – have changed me. I felt like someone else. I was someone else. Inside I didn’t feel like Reese Singh. At least, not the Reese Singh back in January.

In ten months, I had an affair with my lecturer, became his girlfriend then his side-chick, then Heath’s girlfriend, then his fiancée, and then I cheated on him. Briefly I was a mother and now I’m no longer anything to Heath. And now engaged to my lecturer. That’s Reese in 2015. Reese in 2014 was gullible, naïve. A best friend who wanted more – focused on acting and making it big – shopping for cute clothes and a party girl. What. The. Fuck. Happened?

This is life. I was in the spur of Heath, and with being in the spur of Heath, I eventually lost myself. I broke every bit of morality left in me because I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

I placed my stomach on my hand. “I miss you, Amara. We spent so little time with each other, yet I miss you so much.” I then felt Jake’s hand gently slip over my waist and he pulled me into him, nuzzling my neck. “I miss her, too.” He whispered in my ear. My eyes gently closed shut and my mind began to drift. Drift so far into a perfect world where Amara was alive and well. Jake and I were married and happy. Heath and I were still best of friends. Kin was non-existent. And that dream, however unrealistic, was still the most peace I had ever felt in a long time. A perfect world.

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