In Too Deep (10 page)
Downstairs, at the end of a quiet hallway, I found a powder room to hide in as I let my tears fall. I was heated, in no mood to cry, but my body was forcing me to do it and I opted to take that as a sign. Something was wrong. Jackson could deny it all he wanted but I had definitely seen something unusual between him and his stepsister. And it was infuriating me. What more was I going to find out about him? I would’ve never imagined that after Gabrielle Winter, he’d give me more to worry about. He had given me his word that he’d never mess up again. Yet here we were: one missing mistress now joined by an inappropriately sexual stepsister.
Pushing my way out the bathroom door, I wondered what the hell to expect next. And instantly, I got my answer.
Leaning against the wall in front of me was Jake, tugging on the end of his tie until he saw me. “Lara. I’m sorry,” he said right away.
“Jackson’s the one who should be sorry,” I corrected bitterly. “Not you.”
“I know, but I’m pretty fucking pissed at him too. I thought when I came here that things would be different but he’s just been…” Jake trailed off. The other half of his sentence was gone before I could ask him to finish. Sucking in a sharp breath, he leaned his head back against the wall. It was silent for a second. Gazing down at me, I could see Jake’s fiery eyes begin to calm. I bit my lip as they began wandering about my body again. He shook his head, a faint grin touching the corner of his lips. “This a cruel outfit to be wearing to my party,” he finally said. I smiled despite my mood.
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“Spell it out for me.”
He laughed. “You look naked and it’s making every man in this building fantasize about seeing you with just those boots on.”
A wicked excitement crawled through me. “And that includes you, right?”
“Oh, I’m fantasizing far beyond that.”
Mm
. I was heated a second ago, now I was hot. I liked that feeling much better. Wrestling the glass of scotch from Jake’s hand, I brought it to my lips and sipped. “You’ve seen me completely naked before. What’s the thrill in seeing me naked in boots?”
“I have no idea, Lara. I just know that I want it.”
With a smirk, I nodded, all the while thinking about how Jackson had demanded that I finish our deal – that I sleep with my own fling twice more before calling it a wrap. Maybe I’d do that after all. Handing the empty glass back to Jake, I removed the pins from my topknot. I could feel his stare as lock by lock, it tumbled down, my hair even wavier, wilder than usual. “Well. I can give you what you want if you give me something in exchange,” I murmured, lifting my gaze from my hairpins to his face of surprise.
“You – what?”
“If you answer a question for me, I’ll find us a private little spot where you can see me wearing these boots. And only these boots.”
Jake stared in surprise. He wet his lower lip, feasting his eyes on the body I’d just promised him. But he quickly shook himself out of his lusty haze. “Lara – as much as I fucking hate a lot of my brother’s decisions, I know we really shouldn’t be – ”
“He told me to.”
Jake blinked. “What?”
“He told me to sleep with someone to make it even. Three times because he slept with Gabrielle three times,” I explained in a hush. “That was why I was at that bar in Brooklyn that night. That night I found you.” I bit my lip, watching Jake, waiting for him to be swayed. When it took longer than I expected, I widened my stance, crossing my arms and standing with my legs apart. Jake’s eyes followed my dress as it rode slowly up my thighs. He wiped at his lips, muffling a groan as his gaze traveled up the front of my dress and to my cleavage, which I pushed out as I crossed my arms.
“Fuck.” His jaw tightened as he looked into my eyes. “What’s your question?”
“I want you to tell me everything you know about Audra.”
Jake closed his eyes. “Lara. It’s not my place to tell you this. It’s up to Jack – ”
“It’s been four years and he hasn’t said a word. I deserve to know so please, Jake, tell me what happened between you two.”
He squinted. “Between
me
and Audra?”
“Jackson said you two had a bad relationship from the start and he always implied that something happened between you two that was the last straw.”
Jake’s expression turned to stone. “It was the last straw but it happened between Audra and Jackson. Not Audra and myself.”
Why was I even surprised? Playing tough, I braced myself. “Tell me, Jake.”
“Lara, you need to know that this was complicated and there were a thousand incidents that led up to this but – ”
“Tell me what happened, Jake.”
“He slept with her.”
My heart slammed itself against my ribs. I closed my eyes, only just realizing that I’d suspected this the second I’d laid eyes on them upstairs.
“But that was almost ten years ago and she moved to LA shortly after, so it couldn’t have gone on for long. He was twenty-five, she was twenty-three.”
“How long at that point had she been a part of your family?” I barely wanted to ask. I’d still be disturbed if they’d slept together the night of their parents’ wedding. Jake turned his gaze to the side as he answered.
“Three years.”
My stomach turned. “How often did Jackson see her after that? She had to have visited New York.”
“I don’t know. I moved to Australia a year after college and I only came back to New York five years ago, when my mom got heart surgery. I left again shortly after and Jackson never brought her up when he visited me.”
“Yeah, well, from what I’ve learned, Jackson doesn’t bring up a lot of his extracurricular activities.” Crossing my arms tighter, I stared at the wall beside Jake, trying to talk myself down. Audra wasn’t related to Jackson and they’d already been living separate lives when their fling began nearly a decade ago. I couldn’t hold that against him. Unless he was still sleeping with her.
No. He couldn’t possibly be that stupid
. But he was certainly stupid enough to let her drape herself all over his body and wrap her arms around him in a way that only I should. I chewed my lip, feeling my cheeks get hot again. Peering up from under my lashes, I cast Jake a look. “Thank you for answering.”
He paused, as if suddenly remembering that we’d struck a deal. “Lara… I would’ve told you regardless. You’re right. You should get to know a lot of what Jackson doesn’t tell you. You deserve that much for being so good to him.”
Too good to him,
my lip curled. I smirked at Jake. “Are you trying to back out of my end of the deal now?”
The way he bit his lip was irresistible. “I’m trying to talk myself out of something I know I won’t feel right about later. But it’s not going great.”
“Good.” I nodded at the powder room door. “Then let’s go.”
With the door behind us, I turned around, hot anticipation bursting through me as I presented Jake with the back of my dress. The second I felt his touch, my breath went jagged, my breasts heaving under the confines of my skintight bodice. My dress felt too tight and I thanked God for Jake as I studied him in the mirror, his sleeve tightening around his strong bicep as he unzipped me all the way down.
The smallest moan escaped my lips when I felt the cold air hit my skin. Jake groaned at the sound, falling into me, burying his face into the side of my neck and kissing down its curve. I reveled for a minute in the sensation of his tongue on my hot skin. But then I ripped my body away.
I let go of the front of my dress as I walked away from him, listening to his audible arousal as I tugged it down. I licked my lips, making out the sound of Jake rubbing his cock over his pants as I let the dress fall in a puddle around my heeled feet. Stepping out, I turned around, facing Jake in just a black thong and thigh high boots.
“
Fuck
,” he hissed, grabbing the edge of the marble vanity. I bit my swelling lower lip, my naked chest rising and falling as I restrained myself. All I wanted was for Jake to touch me. But at the same time, I wanted to see how long he could wait before his hands could no longer resist. So I simply stood before him, watching his green eyes flash with an unbridled awe that made me feel the sexiest I’d ever felt in my life. “You’re fucking perfect,” he breathed out, looking pained as he feasted his eyes on my naked breasts, my stomach. Between my thighs. “I’d give fucking anything for this to be what I woke up to every morning,” he murmured as I turned toward my reflection, gathering my wild hair around my shoulder. He watched with content for a minute before coming up behind me. My breath hitched in my throat when he hooked his fingers into my thong. He tugged the slightest bit, so that the lace rubbed against my clit. And suddenly, my control was gone.
Spinning around, I gripped his tie and pulled his lips to mine. His kiss was instantly hard and hungry.
“Jake,” I moaned, my pussy throbbing as his hands gripped my ass and squeezed. Taking his wrist, I slid his hand down the flimsy front of my thong. To my delight, his fingers immediately pleasured me, his jaw dropping as he felt the incredible slickness between my lips.
“Fuck, I want you so bad. You have no idea how fucking bad I wish you were mine.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled. “Then fuck me now.”
He groaned something unintelligible. “I don’t have a condom.”
Fuck
. I dug my nails into his chest. I could feel the heat of his full erection between our bodies and I wanted nothing more but to feel it inside me. I had to. So gripping his belt, I tugged. Angrily, I began to undo it.
“Lara… I don’t – ”
His mouth snapped shut when I lowered myself to my knees. In no time, I had my hand wrapped around his cock, his shaft pushing between my swollen lips.
“
Fuck
, Lara.” His deep grunts sent pangs of pleasure between my thighs. As if reading my mind, Jake squeezed a handful of my hair. “Touch yourself.” The sound of his low growl hypnotized me. Right away, I circled my finger around my clit, satisfying myself as I did the same to him. I hummed against him, my mouth stretching around his thickness. I could hear the sound of his guttural appreciation with every tight, wet pull and it only made me want to suck him harder. Parting my lips wider, I let him rock into me, gripping his flexing thigh muscles as I took every last inch. His helmet pulsing hot against the back of my throat, I could feel him nearing the edge.
He didn’t have to tell me that he was going to come.
I pulled him out with a naughty
pop
just in time, pointing his cock at my body and letting him finish with a roar onto my breasts. He gnashed his teeth, his awed eyes unblinking as he watched the endless streams fall onto me, one by one.
Our lips were still locked as he cleaned and zipped me up.
Back at the party, while chatting with Sawyer and Sloane, I could still feel a drop of Jake under my dress, in my skin. Silently, I savored it.
The next morning, I woke up a guilty mess.
It didn’t help that I had spent the night once again dreaming about Jake. Sitting up in bed, I felt short of breath, immediately suffocated by the memory of last night.
Angry. Vengeful. Bitter
. Those were the words I used to shame myself. But at the back of my head, I wondered if they were totally accurate – if I’d done what I’d solely to get back at Jackson, or if his lies had just been my excuse to feel Jake inside of me again.
Because I couldn’t deny it anymore. I wanted him. I thought about him when I wasn’t supposed to think about him. I touched myself and imagined my fingers were his.
Jackson’s plan had officially gone awry. I was supposed to sleep with a random person to know the feeling of a meaningless affair. But instead, I’d slept with a man who made me want more – who made my body ache for him more than I ached for my fiancé. And to top it all off, he was my fiancé’s brother
This has to stop
, I told myself, resolving to make this day about straightening things out with Jackson. We’d hash things out about our fight over Audra, I’d tell him that I’d finished our deal and we’d go back to being us, to being the same, perfect Jackson and Lara that once existed.
Unfortunately, Jackson spent the entire day out. When I texted him, he claimed to be in important meetings. At night, when I couldn’t reach him and texted Caleb, Caleb told me that they were all out having drinks.
And so I went to bed, determined to talk to Jackson when he got back.
But the next morning, I found him passed out with Caleb and Sawyer on our couches downstairs, all three of them still wearing the shirts and pants they’d gone out drinking in. That entire Sunday was spent nursing all three of their hangovers. When I brought Sawyer his 2PM breakfast, he kissed my cheek and asked Jackson if he knew how “fuckin’ lucky” he was to be marrying me.
“Very lucky,” Jackson said distractedly as he read a text on his phone. I glared at him so hard that I knew poor Sawyer could feel the tension because he randomly excused himself to make a call. But even with him gone, Jackson didn’t bother looking my way. He didn’t care to. He knew I was there but he kept his eyes glued on his phone, blissfully ignoring the fact that I was livid to the point of leaving.
Because I simply couldn’t understand it.
He’d done nothing but hurt me for the past couple of months. And yet I still tried to make it work. But every time I did that, I uncovered another one of his terrible secrets. I realized another reason I should leave. But instead of leaving, I gave him opportunities to explain himself.
And somehow, he was the one angry with
me
.
That night, I had gazed into my closet for a half hour, a glass of wine in hand as I wondered what I’d pack if I left. Staring, drinking, I eventually decided on nothing because everything would remind me of Jackson. Then, in my fury, I sat in bed, let the buzz fade, and with a fully sober mind, resolved to talking things out with my fiancé before having any more irrational thoughts.
So on Monday, I awoke shortly after Jackson and found him on the terrace with a cup of coffee. He was half-dressed for work – in black boxer briefs and an unbuttoned dress shirt, his grey tie draped around his neck. He looked undeniably adorable, answering emails with one hand and unsuccessfully trying to button his shirt with the other. I instinctively wanted to help him but instead, I reminded myself of the reason I’d come out here.
“Jackson.”
He barely looked up. “What’s up.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’ve spoken probably a total of eight words since Jake’s party.”
“Yeah.”
You ass
, I crossed my arms. “Jackson, can we talk about what happened that night?”
He didn’t look up from his phone. “I thought we agreed not to bring it up again because it was ridiculous.”
“No, you said it was ridiculous but I still think it’s pretty valid,” I said, my words measured. “And considering the other dramas we’re coming off of this year, you should probably understand why I might be sensitive to the fact that you’re getting a little too cozy with another woman. The fact that she’s your stepsister and someone you have
history
with only makes it worse.”
Jackson finally looked up at me. “History?” he repeated.
As in sex
, I wanted to say. But since Jake would be my obvious source on that information, I held back. “Yes. History. History that you’ve purposely never told me about, that led me to think it was something traumatic and upsetting when it clearly wasn’t considering how close you two looked the other night.”
Jackson laughed, setting his phone down and standing up. “Christ. This Gabrielle thing’s made you paranoid, hasn’t it?”
An instant fire lit my eyes. “Are you kidding me, Jackson? Don’t you dare try to make me look like I’m the crazy one here – I’m not.”
“Then what are you? Audra being in town has to do with Jake coming back to New York. You know my mom, Lara. She’s pushy. She wants things her way and what she wants right now is to see me and Jake reaching out to our stepsister. That was why Audra was at the party and that was why I made an effort to talk to her. I can’t help the way she acts around me.”
“You don’t think you were encouraging her behavior by letting her drape her body all over you and rub her foot on your leg?” I asked incredulously.
“Look, she’s not right in the head.” Jackson jabbed his finger against his temple. “She’s crazy. And she’s sensitive. One wrong word and she’ll be running in the other direction and doing something drastic. Last time that happened, my mother blamed me, so forgive me if I’m careful with Audra because I don’t feel like reliving that bullshit again,” Jackson snapped, heading back into the apartment. Heated, I followed.
“What kind of relationship did you two have in the past then? Why don’t you tell me about that?” I asked. “What did you even do that made her leave and why did you make it seem like it was about her and Jake when it was clearly about you?”
“Jake never gave her a fucking chance,” Jackson muttered, tossing his cup of coffee into the sink.
As in he never slept with her?
I felt my lips itching to bring that up. “I thought you were going to work,” I said instead as I watched Jackson pick up a packed leather duffel and place it by the door.
“I told you last week that I’d be in Boston for two days.”
“I don’t remember that. Who are you seeing?”
Knotting his tie, Jackson smirked at me. “It’s a business trip. Caleb’s going too, so ask him if you still think that I’m going away to play footsies with Audra.”
My lip curled. “I’m glad you can still make jokes when you know I’m upset.” When Jackson rolled his eyes, I felt my control breaking. I wanted to drop the bombshell on him – that I knew what he’d done with his stepsister ten years ago. But instead, I blurted it as a question. “Did you sleep with her or something?”
Jackson froze in the middle of tying his tie. His eyes were suddenly an icy blue and the ends of his lips quivered. An odd noise escaped the bottom of his throat. But just as I thought I was set to hear a confession, Jackson broke into a loud, mocking laugh. It continued for longer than I appreciated before he finally spoke again. “So you
are
paranoid,” he concluded.
“I am not paranoid, Jackson, I’m just seeing things about you lately that make me really question if I know who the hell you even are!” I seethed.
But Jackson ignored me, laughing bitterly as he went upstairs.
When he came back down fully dressed, he grabbed the duffel at the door and barely looked over his shoulder at me before leaving “I’ll be back Wednesday morning. Hopefully you’ll be acting like yourself again when I get back,” he muttered. “And by the way, I don’t want to come home and hear about you hanging out alone with Sawyer or any of the guys,” he added before leaving.