Indigo Road (11 page)

WE
HEADED
east for a while, crossing the
state line into Nevada, and then traveled south again through Reno
on our way back to the coast and San Francisco. Northern California
weather wasn’t any better than that of the Oregon coast. San
Francisco was gray and foggy, but I was assured it was like that
all the time. Alex surprised me when he suggested we check out the
Castro. We parked Maude and wandered the streets, taking in the
diversity of California’s gay mecca.

Rainbow flags
were everywhere and wherever we looked we’d come across same-sex
couples holding hands while they walked or sharing a kiss in front
of colorfully painted row houses. Neon lights,
dulled
for the moment, advertised
a variety of nightspots: leather clubs, drag shows, lesbian
mud-wrestling. A restaurant called The Sausage Factory, a nail spa
called Hand Job. You name it, the Castro had it. Even some of the
pedestrian crossings were painted rainbow colors.

It was quite…
liberating to see the acceptance. The simple fact was that people
here didn’t care if two men were holding hands or kissed goodbye as
they left for work.

I’d been
thinking about what would happen when Alex and I went home. Would
we just be friends again? Would we date? Would we be a couple, and
if so, did we tell our parents? What would the community think?
Would we be able to hold hands in public if we wanted to? I know
Calvin and Davis had a fair share of homophobic abuse thrown their
way, but Calvin just told his tormentors to go fuck themselves and
moved on. He was happy in his relationship and didn’t care about
people who,
in the long run, didn’t
matter. Cal was a few years older than Alex and me, and his
boyfriend, Davis, was older still. Davis was a small man, five foot
five, and an orthopedic surgeon, and although he held a position of
respect within the community, Cal always thought he had to defend
him from the bigots of Fort Wayne, as Calvin was more intimidating
due to his larger size.

Alex grabbed my hand, pulling me from my
thoughts. “It’s nice here,” he said simply.

“
It’s…
different. I mean, people don’t care that two men are holding
hands. It’s accepted, normal even,” I told him.

“
That’s why
it’s nice. I can do this—” Keeping hold of my hand, he brought my
body flush against his and kissed me deeply. “—and no one
cares.”

“I care,” I said breathlessly.

As we
continued our walk through the streets of the
Castro district hand in hand, reveling in the fact we could touch
each other, I knew I needed to ask Alex what his thoughts were
about us, or at least let him know what I wanted.

“
I’d like to
stay in a hotel tonight. What’s the budget look like?” I asked him
as casually as I could. We’d come to a standstill outside a club
named Magnificence. It looked like an ordinary club, albeit a gay
one; no drag queens or leather daddies here.

Alex was
looking at the flyer stuck to the closed front door. “Sure,” he
said without looking at me. “The budget can handle a hotel one
night a week. Might as well be here.” Alex looked at me then, a
grin spreading across his face. “Look, tell you what. You find a
nice, reasonably priced B&B somewhere close to here. I have…
something I need to do first. I’ll meet you back here in thirty
minutes.”

Before I
could ask what the something was, he turned on his heel and stalked
off down the street, his long legs eating up the
pavement.

I
found
a nearby B&B that had a huge
rainbow flag hanging in the front window. The guy behind the
counter had a shock of platinum blond hair and was wearing a purple
T-shirt with the word
Indigo
written across the front.
His shirt made me chuckle. He assured me every room had a fridge,
as the last thing we wanted was for our food to spoil again. I
shuddered at the memory. The price was reasonable, given it was San
Francisco, especially when he told me they had a special going on
so we could stay another night for free if we wanted to. Two nights
in a hotel instead of the back of the van? Yes, please.

Heading back
to meet Alex, I rounded a corner and found him walking just ahead
of me, talking on his phone. He didn’t realize I was behind him,
and I trailed behind him for a moment as I moved to catch
up.

“
Why
not both, a top and a bottom?” Alex said into
his phone. “Yes, I want to but… I don’t know.” A pause, then,
“Montana. Not really my type anymore.” Another pause. “Yes. I think
so, anyway. It’s all a bit confusing. Look I gotta go, he’ll be
here in a minute. Okay, don’t do it until we get there, promise?
Okay, thanks for your help. Bye.”

I hung back a
few steps so it didn’t look like I had been listening. I assumed he
was talking to Cal.

“
Hey, been
waiting long?” I asked as I approached.

“Horse. No, just got here. Did you get a
room?”

“
Better, I
got two rooms.”

Alex’s face
fell. “
Two
rooms?”

“
Yeah, one
for tonight and one for tomorrow night.
It’s midweek so
they’re
having
a two-for-one deal.”

Alex’s smile
lit the small alcove of the nightclub entrance. “What are we
waiting for, then? Let’s get Maude and check in.”

THE ICY
cold beer hit
the back of my throat as I swallowed half of the liquid in one
gulp. My skin tingled, and despite the air-conditioning and my thin
black shirt, I was sweating as I watched Alex dance surrounded by a
hundred different men. I thought about what had made me agree to go
out tonight as I watched him.

“
I want to
check out that club we saw earlier. I haven’t danced
in
ages and it’s been
almost six months since we’ve been to a club,” Alex had said,
catching me off guard. He was right, we hadn’t been to a club
together since graduation. We’d been lazing around the hotel room
for a few hours, and after ordering pizza, I was in a happy,
comfortable doze as a movie played on the TV.

“Which club?”

“
Magnificence.”

Alex wanted
to check out a gay club. I had no idea how I felt about
th
at.

I raised my
eyebrow
. “Why?”

He sighed heavily as he sat on the bed, his
back to me. “I just want to see something. I want to see if…” He
trailed off, seemingly searching for the right words.

He turned to
look at me, his features full of trepidation. “Let’s call it an
ex
periment. Can you help me?”

“
Will you
tell me what it is?”

“
Yes.
But not now.”

I
frown
ed at his evasiveness. “Okay, let’s
put on our only good shirts and head out.”

Now I was
standing at the bar watching Alex
being
groped by strange men in a nightclub situated in California’s gay
mecca.

What a
difference a road trip and
six months
could make.

I was fine at
the bar,
nursing an empty bottle,
although I wished it was full. I was also fine being in a gay club
in San Francisco. What I was not fine with was Alex dancing with
other men. There was nothing overtly sexual about what Alex was
doing, although that hip movement was somewhat suggestive, and he
didn’t touch the men around him. But that didn’t stop them from
touching him. Some grabbed his waist and ground their groins
against his ass as Alex danced. He seemed oblivious, but I didn’t
see how he could ignore that another man was pressing up against
him. Especially when one latched
on
to
the back of Alex’s neck with his
mouth. One guy in jeans that looked to be painted on danced in
front of Alex, his arms around Alex’s neck as he
bumped
his groin into Alex’s.
Alex just twisted away and kept on dancing. Is this what gay men
did the world over, grind up against complete strangers and try and
stick their tongue down their throat? Why wasn’t Alex bothered by
it? More to the point, if I was to dance like that with him, would
he ignore me too?

Part of me
didn’t want to know
, but a larger part
itched to find out.

Placing my
empty bottle on the bar, I pushed my way through the crowd toward
the dance floor. I felt a hand caressing my ass on more than one
occasion in the short distance, and instead of being
weirded out by it, I was strangely
aroused.

When I
reached the dance floor
, a shirtless guy
was rubbing up against Alex’s ass. My chest burned seeing him so
close to Alex, the stranger with naked lust in his eyes. But when
Alex saw me standing in front of him, he threw his arms around me,
bringing our lips together in a heated kiss. He ignored everyone
else and my chest thudded with pleasure.

It was then I
felt the other
guy’s hands roaming up and
down my arms while he was still grinding against Alex.

“
Fuck
off,
” I growled over Alex’s shoulder. The
guy arched an eyebrow and walked off only to rub up against someone
else.

“You going all alpha on me?” Alex asked.

“Do you want me to?”

Alex’s
response was to pull me in closer, our bodies
align
ing, touching everywhere. “Shut up
and dance with me.” Alex circled his arms around my shoulders as he
moved his hips in time to the music, bumping our groins together as
he kissed me deeply. There was no hesitation in this kiss, not like
some of the previous kisses we’d shared over the past week or so.
This coming together was possessive and demanding. Our tongues
tangled and danced as we moved our bodies, heedless of any
onlookers. I lifted his shirt and ran my hands over his chest and
abs, feeling the smooth expanse of warm skin. This is what I had
wanted all along: to touch, to feel, to have that simmering flame
ignited, to feel wanted and cherished. Alex’s kiss said it
all.

“Wanna get out of here?” Alex breathed
against my lips.

“
Fuck
, yes.”

WE STUMBLED up the stairs to our room at the
B&B, and no sooner had we closed the door than Alex had me
pinned against it, mouth assaulting my throat.

“Tell me this isn’t weird,” Alex said on a
breath.

“It’s not weird. It’s right.”

“
Tell
me…
tell me you want this as much as I
do.”

Alex’s lips
made their way to my ear and the soft spot
behind
it, making any coherent
thought impossible.

“
Want…
you,” I managed to squeeze out.

In an
instant,
his body was
gone from mine and I was left cold without him. Alex grabbed my
hand and led me quickly to the bed, pushing me down and climbing on
top.

“
I don’t know
what I’m doing,” he said, resuming the assault on my throat as
h
e pushed my shirt up. He found a nipple
and tweaked it hard.

“Ungh, more of that.”

My hips had a mind of their own as they
bucked, trying to find some friction. I’d never been so turned on.
Alex palmed my cock through my jeans, his movements gentle and
hesitant.

“Is this okay?” Alex asked.

“Better if my jeans weren’t in the way.”

“
Um
, I…”

I stopped his movement, placing my hand over
his but not removing it from my groin.

“
It’s okay.
We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I have no
idea
what I’m doing either, but I know I
want
something
.”

Alex smiled, his eyes shining. “I’m so glad
you’re just as clueless.”

We resumed
kissing,
only breaking the connection to
take our shirts off, but we left our jeans in place. We explored
each other’s chests and abs. Alex’s skin was paler than mine and he
had a
small
smattering of chest hair that I discovered I liked playing
with. His nipples were rosy and small, until I sucked on them,
making them darker and hard. Alex groaned, holding my head in place
against his chest. I learned the contours of his body and felt the
smoothness of his skin against my lips. His clavicle was especially
sensitive for him. He found a spot I didn’t know I had, just at the
top of my shoulder, that sent me into a spin.

Our jeans
soon became a hindrance and I needed them off. I fumbled with
Alex’s zipper, half expecting him to tell me to
stop
, that he wasn’t ready, but the
protest never came. I undid the button and opened the flap,
exposing his boxers, his erection proud against the soft cotton of
his briefs. He pushed his jeans off, kicking them to the floor as I
did the same with mine. Alex’s eyes darkened as they followed my
movements when I leaned back against the pillows. Crawling on top
of me once more, he put all his weight on his hands where they
rested beside my head. The tip of his cock poked through the top of
his boxers. I touched a finger to the head and he hissed in a
breath. I quickly pulled my hand away, regret closing my throat
since I’d misread him. I’d gone too far.