Inescapable (The Premonition Series) (21 page)

Hot tears well up in my eyes as I grit my teeth in an effort to keep them back.
I can’t cry now… not here with all of these people around to witness it. I have to get out of here.

I don’t try to move when the doorknob of the closet turns and the door begins to open. Light from the hallway slowly falls on my face, and then I hear Russell’s sigh of relief. He quickly slips into the closet, shutting the door behind him. He slides down the door to sit in front of me, blocking out most of the light and making it hard to see his face. Our feet touch as they meet in the middle of the closet, but neither of us speaks for a while, until Russell asks, “Red, why is it that I feel like I need to apologize to ya for this?”

“You don’t, Russell, but I’d be lying to you if I said it doesn’t hurt,” I reply softly, knowing exactly why he feels like he needs to apologize. It’s our connection to one another that is tearing little pieces of his heart away and mine, too. But, I can’t tell him that, any more than I can stop it from happening.

“Yeah, well, I can say that I know how ya feel,” he replies. In a frustrated tone, he asks, “Why’s this happenin’, Red? I can’t be the only one who thinks that we’re perfect together. I can see it in yer eyes when ya look at me. Just tell me what’s goin’ on. Is Reed really yer boyfriend?” Russell asks as if the thought leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He doesn’t wait for my answer before he says, ‘“Cuz I gotta tell ya, Red, I see you with him, and it eats me up inside.”

This is it—this is the moment that I’ve been dreading since I realized what I am, and more importantly, what I’m not. I’m not human enough for Russell, if I was, this may not have been a forgone conclusion. If there was no Reed and my undeniable attraction to him, I know I would’ve been happy with Russell. We would’ve been perfect for each other, but that isn’t safe for Russell. I have to keep Russell safe from what I am and what I’m going to become. He’ll always be in danger if he’s around me, especially if other angels discover that I exist.

My throat constricts, making it almost impossible to speak, but I manage to ask softly, “Russell, what is that girl’s name that you were kissing?”

Russell replies gruffly, “Candace…but it’s not what it looked like, or maybe it’s exactly what it looked like, but ya shut me down, and I saw ya with Reed. Are all y’all together…”

“Yes,” I say cutting him off. “Reed is my…boyfriend. I’m with him, so you should go and see if Candace is still available because I’m not,” I finish, nearly choking on the last couple of words.

I’m grateful that it’s dark in the closet because I don’t think I would survive seeing the pain I’ve caused him with my words. I’m barely surviving the pain I’ve caused myself with my words. Russell is quiet for a while as if processing what I had said to him. I listen to his steady breathing while suppressing the urge that I have to jump up, throw my arms around him, and try to comfort him.

I am concentrating so hard on remaining where I am that he startles me as he says, “Genevieve, just so ya know, this wouldn’t hurt y’all so much if y’all were makin’ the right decision.” Rising from the floor, he leaves the closet, gently closing the door behind him.

Or, maybe because it does hurt so much, it makes it the right decision,
I think sadly as I hear him walk away from the door. When I know that he is gone, I leave the oppressive closet and go to find the girls. Whispering covertly to them, I tell them I have some information regarding the composite that I need to write down before I forget it. I explain to them that I’m going back to my room, and when they say they’ll come too, I persuade them to stay and have fun. I want to be alone.

Walking back to my room, I jot down what I can recall regarding the composite, and then I change into my pajamas and go to bed. As I lay awake, crying my heart out into my pillow, I vow that these are the last tears that I’ll cry for Russell.

I spend the next morning worrying about Reed and wondering where he is and what he is doing. This doesn’t help lighten my mood when Freddie picks me up in his white Mercedes and we start on the road to Coldwater. I’m cranky from not getting much sleep last night.

“Freddie, this looks suspiciously like an import. Aren’t you from around Detroit? Shouldn’t you be driving a car made in Detroit?” I ask as I half tease him and half scold him.

Freddie puts his index finger to his lips. “Shh, Evie, she’ll hear you. She was a graduation present from the rents,” he says, petting his steering wheel and grinning. “What’s up with you? Late night party?” Freddie asks me sweetly, reading my mood.

“Not exactly,” I say, and then everything that happened with Russell last night comes tumbling out of my mouth in a rush of uncontrolled emotion.

Freddie lets me talk, listening quietly without interrupting me as I pick apart every detail and nuance that occurred. “And now, I’m going to Coldwater to get him a stupid firewall. I bet
Candace
wouldn’t go all the way to Coldwater to get him a stupid firewall,” I say scathingly.

Freddie’s eyebrow arches as he says, “I bet you’re right, Evie. I’m sure Russell would prefer your firewall to her firewall and your software, too. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have followed you into that closet last night, but you already know that.”

I exhale slowly. Freddie’s telling me that last night is the direct result of the decisions I’ve made. But I can’t explain to him why I have to do this to protect Russell or the way I feel about Reed.

I sigh, “I know, Freddie, but it’s like there are these two sides of me, and one side wants Reed, and the other side wants Russell. I just want to be whole again.”

“You will be, Evie. You’ll figure it out, and in the meantime, we can take care of Russell’s computer so that Candace can send him emails,” he says playfully, looking at me with a cheeky smile on his face. I stick my tongue out at him as if he’s my bratty brother.

We make it to Coldwater and find an electronics store that stocks firewalls. It doesn’t take me long to pick one out because they only have a couple of models. I make the purchase, and then Freddie and I leave the store. When we stumble upon a small coffee shop, we go in and order a couple of coffees to go.

As we exit with our café lattes, heading to Freddie’s car, I fumble with the plastic lid of my cup, dropping it on the pavement. Bending down to pick it up, I notice a young man passing me on his way into the shop. I admire his tailored, black-leather jacket before a shiver makes the hair on my arms stand up. Something about the man strikes me as being off. I can’t put my finger on it until I stand up and notice his shadow on the ground. It isn’t walking away; it is facing me.

I feel myself growing pale, and my breath rasps along with the rapid pounding of my heart. I study the darkly twisting shadow; it moves like a separate entity. The coffee lid slips from my numb fingers again and a few moments lapse before I can make my legs move. Hurrying to Freddie’s car, I spill coffee over the rim of my cup. Freddie unlocks the doors and starts the engine.

Climbing into his car, I lock the doors before peering out the back window. As Freddie pulls out of the parking lot, the man with the dysfunctional shadow stands by the coffee shop door, watching our car drive away. I shiver in dread, wondering,
What was that thing?
I scan the auxiliary mirror to see if he’s following us.
He noticed me, or at least his shadow did,
I think as I shudder in fear again.

Freddie notices that something is wrong and says, “Evie, are you okay? You look pale.”

“Uhh, yeah, Freddie, I’m fine, my coffee is just a little bitter. I should’ve added some more sugar,” I say, using a napkin to wipe the coffee off of my hand.

I burned it when I had spilled my coffee, but I ignore the pain, knowing that it will probably be healed by the time we get back to Crestwood. I use my napkin to cover my hand so that Freddie won’t notice my burn. Leaning back against the seat, I close my eyes.
This was a bad idea,
I think and wonder how I’m going to explain what I saw to Reed when I’m not even supposed to be in Coldwater.

He’s going to be one hostile angel when I tell him what I did.
He wasn’t here to ask,
I think grasping at straws, but then I look at my cell phone, and I can already hear the argument that I hadn’t even tried to call him. I worry about the shadow man all the way back to Crestwood as Freddie discusses how he will install the firewall in Russell’s room for me. Freddie doesn’t seem to notice my tension before he drops me off in the parking lot of my dorm.

The drums of the marching band playing at the field house echo outside my window. Russell’s first game is going to start any minute. I had planned on going to support him, but my being there would probably have the opposite effect on him right now.
I’m probably the last person on earth he wants to see,
I think, and that fact makes me more miserable than I can say.

Lying on my bed, I become aware that I really miss Reed, which is pathetic because he has only been gone a little more than a day. It doesn’t take long for me to break down and try to reach him on my cell phone. I am disappointed when he doesn’t answer. As I listen to his sexy voice on his voicemail message, I wish that I had some way to record it so that I could play it back over and over again like an obsessed groupie.

When I hear the beep that indicates that I should leave a message, I am at a loss as to what to say because I hadn’t planned the call at all. My voice sounds almost breathless as I say, “Hi, Reed, it’s Evie…I miss you…come home soon.” Hanging up the phone, I cringe and cover my face with my hands when I think of the message I just left.
You’re so not a playa.

I go to bed early, watching the night sky outside my window and trying to imagine what Reed is doing. I wake up sweating in the dark, clutching my chest where the shadow man had stabbed me in my dream. Gasping for breath, I sob, trying to rub away the echo of pain.
I’m whole,
I assure myself.
I’m uncut.
..
Coldwater was a bad, bad, idea,
I think, feeling panic overwhelming me.

With trembling hands, I pull my blanket up higher around me, and I realize that I haven’t taken Reed’s warnings seriously—I’ve been in a state of denial. Reed had said that there are entities out there that would like nothing better than to get their hands on me, but I hadn’t been able to grasp it fully. I’m grasping it now that I’ve seen one of them. If that thing had really come for me in the night, I doubt I’d have even seen it coming. I’d probably already be dead. I hug my pillow as I lie in my bed, waiting for the sun to come up.

CHAPTER 14

Opposites Attract

Getting up early in the morning, I go to breakfast at Saga. Sunday morning isn’t a popular time to eat breakfast due to all the late night partying. Except for a handful of students, the place is empty. Freddie is alone at our table, and as I approach him with my tray, I almost laugh because he reminds me of someone’s dad with his morning paper spread out on the table and a steaming cup of coffee waiting to cool.

“Good morning,” I say.

Freddie lifts his chin in a nod, “Sup, Evie, did you hear? The Chargers won yesterday,” he says cheerfully.

“Yeah, I heard. That’s sweet, huh?” I ask rhetorically.

“It was close, though: twenty-one to seventeen,” he grins.

“Aces,” I reply. “Did you have any problems with the firewall?” I ask, chewing my oatmeal slowly.

“No, it was so easy it almost installed itself,” he says, not looking at me.

“What?” I say, noticing his demeanor is off.

“Nothing,” he says evasively.

“What, Freddie?” I ask him again, seeing that there is something he isn’t telling me.

Reaching down into his bag, Freddie pulls out what is left of the firewall. It looks as if someone had taken a hammer to it, or maybe run it over with a car. “Russell kind of uninstalled it,” he mumbles.

“Oh,” I say, looking at the dented ports and lopsided casing that no longer covers the machine fully. “You might as well throw it out because I doubt they’ll take it back.”
And I’m not going back to Coldwater,
I think numbly.

“In Russell’s defense, Evie, my boy was really stinking drunk last night,” Freddie says, attempting to lighten the blow of seeing the mangled hardware.

“Right, that makes it so much better, thanks, Freddie,” I say sarcastically, seeing Russell’s anger in the twisted metal.

“Sorry,” he says simply.

“No, I’m sorry. I put you in the middle of this, and for that, I’m truly sorry. I won’t do it anymore. I promise,” I reply, putting my hand over his. “This is between Russell and me, and I’m getting the message loud and clear. I believe the message is: leave me the hell alone.”

“At least he didn’t do what Mason was urging him to do,” he says.

“Oh yeah, what was that?” I ask, feeling my heart sink with dread.

“Mason wanted him to throw it through your window,” Freddie says disgustedly.

“Well, with buddies like that, he ought to be okay,” I say numbly. “So, what are you up to today?” I ask, trying to change the subject and hoping that Freddie will have pity on me and put the firewall back in his bag so I won’t have to look at it all through breakfast.

“Nada. You?” he asks, plucking the unit off the table as if reading my mind.

“Laundry,” I answer in relief. “Then, I have my first game this afternoon.”

“Who’re you playing?” he asks.

“The Kappas I think,” I answer, taking a sip of orange juice.

“What time?” he asks.

“Four,” I say.

“I’ll be there,” he replies, smiling.

“Thanks, Freddie,” I say, but I can’t return his smile no matter how hard I try.

Our first game is drawing a bigger crowd than I expected. The new uniforms might have something to do with that. Our jerseys and skirts are red with a vertical black stripe on either side. The collared, sleeveless shirt molds itself to my body, as does the skirt, leaving little to the imagination. Red knee socks complete the outfit, covering my shin guards. The Kappas are in navy blue skirts with lighter blue tops and light blue knee socks. We all resemble an updated version of the Catholic schoolgirl outfit, which I think is part of the draw.

Seeing Freddie milling around on the sidelines with a couple of other guys, I wave to him. I am just about to go over and speak to Freddie when I notice Russell arriving at the field. He isn’t alone. A flush stains my cheeks when I realize he’s with the girl he was snogging the other night. What is her name… Candace? If jealousy could be a living thing, then it resides in me when I see them holding hands and standing close to each other, talking intimately.

Why is he here with her?
I wonder, until I notice that Candace is wearing a blue uniform, and it dawns on me that Russell is here to cheer
her
on. Attempting to hide my outrage, I storm over to where my teammates are warming up. As I stretch, I try to ignore them when Russell gives Candace a good-luck kiss and a less than fraternal pat on her butt before she joins her team.

It’s too dangerous for me to be around him,
I think, reminding myself once again that it is better for Russell not to be anywhere near me, but it’s hard to remember that with the hot coils of envy burning me.

The referees signal the captains up for the coin toss, and Brownie goes to call it. Tossing the coin in the air, Brownie wins it, and she elects to take the center pass. I run onto the field to get into position near the centerline. A few moments later, Candace lines up directly across from me near the white, chalky line.

It seems grossly unfair to me that she can be beautiful, even with a sneer on her lips as she says, “Hey, psycho, I’d appreciate it if you’d stay out of my boyfriend’s room.”

My eyes widen as I ask, “Excuse me?” unsure of what she means.

With a condescending smile, she adds, “It’s probably illegal what you did yesterday—messing with Russell’s computer.” She rests her stick across her knees as she leans forward. “Everyone thinks you’re a psycho freshman groupie for breaking into his room,” she says, watching my face.

I’m so mortified; my blush matches my red jersey. For a moment, I have a vision of crushing her throat under my cleat. I’m on fire inside, but my tongue turns to ash in my mouth, so I can’t respond.

The referee sets the ball on the line before blowing his whistle. Buns takes possession of the ball to start the game. Hitting it ahead to Brownie, we run up the field together while Brownie flicks the ball to Weeza. I easily run around Candace, who is actively attempting to get in my way. Trying to anticipate the play and be in a good position to accept a pass, I hear the sound of my own breathing. The noise from the crowd fades as I focus on my objective. I don’t have long to wait for a pass as the ball comes arcing toward my stick from Babs. Bringing my stick down low to control the ball, I redirect it forward toward the D. Easily outmaneuvering Candace, I propel the ball into the striking circle as Buns runs ahead of me to take a position near the goal.

I scoop the ball toward Buns, who brings her stick down to handle the pass; then she redirects the stick, sending the ball in the direction of the goal. It sails by the Kappas’ goalkeeper, who lunges awkwardly toward it.
Goal!
I think as the crowd bursts into applause. Grinning, I hug Buns, congratulating her on an excellent shot as we walk back to our huddle. The Kappas now have possession of the ball from the centerline. I go to the mid-field line once again, and Candace lines up opposite me.

Candace sends me a fake smile from across the chalk. “You know, we were all talking about coming over to your dorm room last night…we were going to throw that thing you put on Russell’s computer right through your window,” Candace says smugly.

“That
thing
is called a firewall, Candace,” I reply in a low tone.

She wrinkles her nose. “Whatever, geek,” she retorts.

The whistle blows, and one of the Kappa attackers flicks the ball ahead, trying to get it by me using poor stick handling. I easily take possession of the ball, reversing it. Pushing the ball ahead to Babs, I sprint forward so that I can help her out near the striking circle. The Kappas don’t even touch the ball before Babs scoops it ahead to me again.

Entering the D with Babs, I notice the Kappa defender screening her own goalie. Knowing the goalie can’t see me through all that traffic, I immediately search for an opening before taking a shot at the goal. The goalkeeper hardly even moves in the direction of the ball as it flies into the goal. The crowd on the sidelines applauds my goal loudly, but I almost don’t feel good about it because now I have to go back to the center line and listen to Candace again.

I walk over to the huddle, receiving congratulatory hugs from my teammates as the referee sets up the ball on the center line again. Lining back up, Candace doesn’t look happy. “Nice goal, psycho,” she says with faux sweetness. “That’s about the only way a girl like you is going to score. Is it true what Russell said about you…that you’re still a virgin?”

My eyes narrow,
I will kill him,
I think as color flees from my face.
Russell must have told her that… said something.
When the whistle blows, I don’t move and neither does Candace; we both stand eye to eye, sneering at each other.

Brownie sees what is going on and runs back to pull me away from Candace. “Don’t let her get to you, Evie,” Brownie says, putting her arm around me. “I’ll trade sides with you. You can line up on the other side. We’ll get you the ball so you can score again. They really suck this year.”

I try to shrug it off, “Sure, okay,” I reply, but all I really want to do is just go back to my room and hide for a while.

I switch sides with Brownie, and I am given the ball several more times, scoring on each possession. By half time, it is over. The crowd has dwindled because the Kappas are being shut out seventeen to zero. The referees talk to the captains, and the Kappas agree to forfeit the second half.

Walking over to the sidelines, I pour water into a paper cup. Searching the crowd for Freddie, I can’t find him. He must’ve left before half time. I really can’t blame him because it was an awful game to play, let alone watch. Sipping my water, I hear Candace complaining to Russell about the referees and bad officiating. She’s delusional if she thinks they had any chance of coming back in the second half. Russell doesn’t say anything about the game, but he tries to make her feel better by taking her in his arms and hugging her. A painful ache swells in my chest as I watch them together. I remember what it feels like to be held by him like that, and I have to turn away.

Deciding that I’ve been tortured enough for one day, I look around for Brownie and Buns. I want to let them know I’m ready to leave, but I pause and bring my hand to my abdomen when a small, fluttering sensation tickles me. Dropping the paper cup, I search around for any sign of Reed while the sensation grows steadily. Within a few heartbeats, I see him walking toward the field from the parking lot near the field house.

Seeing Reed again causes me to have tunnel vision; I forget everything else around me except him. Awash with excitement and the anxiety of a new relationship, my feet leave a snaillike pattern in the dewy grass as I move toward him. All the anger and embarrassment of the past couple hours melts away as I pick up my pace, running the last few steps to meet him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I rest my face against his chest.

“Reed,” I breathe softly, “You’re back…I missed you.”