Inflame (Explosive) (15 page)

“You know, Lucy, I appreciate your honesty, but it would’ve been nice to have known this months ago instead of letting you waste my time. You think Drew’s such a bad guy? Look in the mirror. Sure, you may not have fucked anyone else behind my back, but you sure did fuck with my heart. Is there really a lesser of two evils?”

The impact of his words hits me like a ton of bricks, and I know he’s right. As much as I’ve admonished Drew, am I really any better than him? Looking up, I see him watching me, and I hesitate, which is all he needs to continue.

“That’s what I thought. Lucy, I want to be with you, but I can’t accept only part of you. It’s clear that I’ll never have all of you, and that just won’t work.” He scoffs, and I cringe, knowing that this is it. “I’d say it was fun while it lasted, but truth be told? I’m happy to get off this rollercoaster ride. I truly, sincerely hope he’s okay. And if he is? Get off your fucking ass and tell him how you feel so you don’t put another guy through the ringer and make him goddamn miserable the way you’ve done me.”

“Aidan—” I start, but he holds his hand up, causing me to shut up.

“Lucy, there’s really nothing left to say. I should’ve seen this coming all along. Take care of yourself,” he says, and without another thought, he quietly exits my apartment.

Sinking back into my couch, I reflect on what just happened. Strangely, relief washes over me, and I know that Aidan was right. I was so unfair to him, and this was going to end eventually. I just wish I’d done it much sooner, especially when Kale mentioned that he cared about me.

My thoughts drift to him, and panic flows through my veins. Something’s wrong, and with each day that passes, I grow more terrified when I don’t hear from him. The thought of losing Kale is nearly unbearable, and as if it’s a sign, all thoughts of Aidan evaporate, leaving me to wonder why I ever thought I was ready for this, to let anyone in my heart when I don’t even know what it wants.

I
TAP
my fingers on my leg, anxiously waiting for this briefing to end. It’s been a little over two weeks since the explosion. Since I was so close to being done with my deployment, the doctors decided that, after initial surgery to remove the bullet from my shoulder, I could be sent back to the States with McAllister and Wellington. Both sustained much more serious injuries than I did, and last I heard, Wellington was still in a medically induced coma.

It’s been a fucking whirlwind two weeks, and other than my mom, I’ve haven’t had a chance to talk to anyone, not even Lucy. I probably could’ve stolen a moment somewhere along the way to get ahold of her, but knowing she’s with someone, I didn’t want to cause her any unnecessary stress, especially since I’m going to heal up just fine. I would’ve liked to have sent her a quick message, but after days spent in the hospital and then traveling, I was never able to find a computer to log onto. She knows I can go outside the wire and be unable to communicate, but the longest we’ve ever gone is a week. I’m hoping, begrudgingly, that she’s been too busy to worry herself with my disappearing act. However, I hope he hasn’t been too consuming of her time. Now that I’m back at Fort Campbell, I’m anxious to get out of this damn briefing so I can go see her with my own two eyes.

They say that your life flashes before your eyes, and even though I knew I wasn’t dying, I swear there was a split second of an almost out-of-body—or perhaps mind—experience when the explosion occurred. In all reality, it was probably just the bomb blast, but part of me saw that damn mind flash, but it was different than what most people describe. There was no quickly running highlight reel of all the good times in my life. Instead, I was greeted by the faces of those I care about the most. Mom, Kalli, my other sister Kaylie. Lily. And at the end, Lucy.

I’ve had two weeks to process it. In the end, I’m not surprised she was on my mind, that she was a part of that list. The longer I was in Afghanistan, the longer I was away from her, the more I began to realize how much I care about her and how important she’s become in my life. And that right there is precisely why I’ve decided not to mess with her relationship. As much as I want to sweep her off her feet, I also don’t want to push her away, and trying to get between her and her man might do just that. After having been gone for so long and her essentially moving on—if you can even call it that since we were never dating—I can’t expect her to fall into my arms the moment she sees me. Even if I wish that’s exactly what she’ll do.

Don’t get me wrong. I have every intention of making her mine, but until I know she’s ready—hell, until I’m sure that I’m even ready—I’ll bide my time and continue to be her best friend. Will it suck watching her with someone else? Fuck yes. Will it be unbearable being so close to her and not being able to touch her skin, feel her breasts, enjoy the warmth of her pussy as I slide into her like I’ve done so many times? Un-fucking-bearable, and I see a lot of cold showers in my future. That being said, I know that in the end it’ll be more than worth it. Waiting for her will be worth it. At least that’s what I’ll continue to tell myself.

“B
YE,
M
S.
Dawson!” chimed several sweet, high-pitched voices as I watched my students start to board their various school buses. Waving, I turn around and head back to my classroom, ready to get a few lesson plans worked out before I head home for the weekend.

Charlie’s still staying with me, and she keeps asking if I’m okay about splitting with Aidan. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it all. She’s been focusing on my breakup in an effort to forget about her own, and right now, I’m not ready to go home to more questions.

After settling in at my desk, I do the same thing I’ve done excessively, at least ten times a school day—I check my email. My heart falls when I see the empty inbox. I shake my head, knowing I should be used to this. I go through my whole routine of telling myself that Kale’s fine.
He’s just out on a mission and he hasn’t been able to get in touch. No big deal. Everything’s fine.
My thoughts are interrupted when my phone chimes, and I groan when I see a text from Aidan asking if he can come get some things he left at my place. After typing out a quick response agreeing to it, I set my phone down.

Everything from the last couple of weeks suddenly begins to run through my mind. It becomes overwhelming, and I feel hot tears form in my eyes. Not hearing from Kale is weighing heavily on my mind and my heart. On top of that, the thought of another failed relationship also bothers me. I want to go back in time, back to when I didn’t want relationships, and vow to never do it again until I know I’m ready. And who knows when that’ll be? At the same time, I don’t regret my time with Aidan, so I feel like an ass for even wishing to erase those memories.

I wipe away the tears that have fallen, steeling my heart and my mind, but the nagging feeling about Kale continues to beat like a steady drum. I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but Kale and I kept our friends-with-benefits thing under wraps and Charlie doesn’t even know I’ve kept in touch with him all this time. She thinks Aidan and I broke up because the relationship had run its course, and the last thing I want to do is burden her with this while she’s still trying to get over Drew. Strangely, Aidan’s the only one who knows about my close friendship with Kale, and I don’t think he’s going to let me cry on his shoulder.

Knowing I’m not going to get any work done, I decide to take a few moments to myself before packing up and heading home. I lean back in my chair and prop my feet up, closing my eyes as I try to compose myself. Just as I’m finally feeling collected, I hear the sound of my classroom door open and then subsequently close again. Before I can open my eyes, I hear a voice,
his
voice, and my heart starts beating wildly as I pray that I’m not daydreaming.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” I hear for the second time in this classroom.

Just like the first time, I move too quickly at the sound of his voice and begin to fall, but this time I catch myself before my ass hits the ground. When I look up, the world around me stops and I can see nothing but him. Tears wells in my eyes as I stare into his. In an instant, I cross the distance and throw myself into his body, barely registering the
oomph
he breathes out when I run into his chest. He wraps an arm around me, holding me tight, and I silently cry against his chest, still barely believing that he’s here, in the classroom, with me. Elation, relief, and pure joy flow through as I feel his touch, tangible proof that he’s no longer halfway across the world, but here with me.

“Well, Jesus, Lucy, I figured you’d be happy to see me, but I didn’t expect the waterworks. I’m here, babe. You don’t have to cry,” he whispers softly, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on my back.

I burrow my face in his chest, breathing his scent it, and I’m suddenly aware of how much I missed that smell. “God, Kale, I’ve been so worried about you. I was borderline freaking out. I tried not to but I couldn’t help but expect the worst. I missed you so much, and when I didn’t hear from you, I was so scared,” I admit, barely getting out the last few words.

His chest rumbles underneath my cheek as he chuckles lowly. “I missed you, too, Luce. And I’m fine, I promise. Well, mostly fine. It’s a long, long fucking story, and I’ll tell you, but let me just enjoy holding you for a moment,” he insists.

He’s okay
, I think to myself, and I can hear my breath catch at the thought. Suddenly, I pull back, needing to study him, to take in every beautiful feature so I know this is real, that this isn’t a dream. My eyes narrow when I see that his arm is in a sling and there are cuts on his otherwise beautiful face.

“Oh my God, Kale! What the hell happened to you? Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Oh my gosh, how did I miss that damn sling when I flung myself at you? I am so, so sorry. Please tell me it didn’t hurt,” I beg, beginning to look all over his body, damning the uniform for covering whatever bandages may lie beneath.

“No, you didn’t hurt me. I’m tougher than nails, baby,” he says, laughing, but I don’t join him. I’m still staring at the sling, wondering what in the hell happened.

“Not funny, Montgomery,” I whisper, and he lifts my chin so I’m looking into his eyes.

“Hey, I’m fine. I’m here,” he tells me reassuringly. “There was an explosion. And then I was shot,” he explains, and my eyes widen. He must see the flash of panic that crosses my face because he continues quickly. “I was far enough away from the blast that little damage was done, and it was only a minor gunshot wound. I have a dislocated shoulder, a shit-ton of cuts and bruises, and a couple of minor burns. No big deal. I’ll be as good as new soon. I promise.”

His nonchalance does little to appease my worry, and in this moment, I need more than words of reassurance. I need to feel him, to really convince myself. Stepping up on my tiptoes, I press my lips to his. He freezes as if I’ve caught him off guard.

At first, the kiss is slow, hesitant even. I wrap my arms around his neck, careful not to hurt his shoulder. I pull him closer and push my body into his. The closeness unleashes something inside of us both and our kisses turn frantic. He slips his tongue into my mouth and mine meets his in a dueling passion, as if we’ve been waiting for this for so long and no amount of contact will ever been enough. I have no clue how long we stay there, and I don’t even care. All I want are these moments. These memories. These feelings. Right now, all I want is Kale. Nine months of separation melts away and is replaced by a burning desperation as I drink him in.