Inflame (Explosive) (18 page)

“You, Lucy. Do I really need to spell it out? I have feelings for you. I have for a long time and I want you to be mine. Not my friend. Not my whatever. My girlfriend. I want to be able to hold you in public. To shout from the rooftops that were dating. To tell my mom that she can finally tell her friends about you. That’s what I want, Lucy. You. All of you.”

I watch her eyes soften as my words register. “Your mom knows about me?” she asks, and I’m not surprised that’s the part she latched on to.

“My mom and my sisters. You’re important to me. You have been since the moment I met you. I’ve only told them that we’re friends, but they’ve known me my whole life and can see through the bullshit.”

“Wow,” she whispers, touching her fingers to her lips before her eyes meet mine. “Kale, I don’t want to jump into a relationship just because I’m pregnant. We can figure this out some other way.”

Groaning, I place my head in my hands, wondering how I’m going to get through to her. “I’m not declaring my feelings for you just because you’re pregnant.”

She pulls my head out of my hands and cups my cheeks. “Honestly, would you be telling me you want to be in a relationship right now if I weren’t pregnant?” She has me there, but not for the reasons she thinks.

“No, probably not, but that’s only because I didn’t think you were ready to hear it yet. I’ve felt this way for a long time, and while I’ve wanted more, I was happy to just have some form of relationship with you.”

She leans back against the couch and sighs. “Exactly. You wouldn’t be suggesting being together if I weren’t pregnant. You just admitted it.”

“But you are, and I do want it, regardless of the circumstances,” I tell her, moving closer to her and settling in between her legs so I can place my hand on her belly. “This little guy just made me speed up the process a little bit. See? Already looking out for his old man.”

“Kale,” she says softly, and I begin to panic, knowing that I need to do something to break in there. I know she cares about me, but she’s too damn scared to let anyone all the way in.

I slide my hand from her belly up to her chest, where I can feel her heart racing. She’s watching me intently, and when my hand moves down to palm her breast, she inhales sharply.

“I know this isn’t one-sided. You might not have said it out loud, but I know you care about me, too, Lucy. And I’m not leaving this apartment until you finally admit it.”

I’
M TRYING
to process Kale’s words as he rubs his thumb over my nipple, but he’s too damn distracting. When I invited him over to discuss the baby, this isn’t exactly what I planned. The last thing I expected was for him to say that he wants us to be together officially, and I was caught off guard when he admitted his feelings for me. Sure, we’d glossed over it in emails while he was gone, but that was so long ago. Neither one of us ever brought the issue back up once he got home, and I thought it was just a product of his being lonely. The last thing I want is for him to be with me just because of the baby. It’s 2013 for crying out loud, and while I’d ideally be with my child’s father, I refuse to settle into a relationship just because there is a child involved.

“Stop thinking so hard, babe,” Kale says, breaking my train of thought. “It’s quite simple, really. We were both just too stubborn to realize it before now. I like you. You like me. We’re good together.”

“I know, but I’m just not sure this is the best time to be making a decision like this. My last relationship was a disaster, and I don’t want us turning out like that,” I admit, not meeting his eyes.

He lifts up off of me, and I miss his closeness, but I’m also relieved, knowing I’ll be able to think more clearly without him pressing his body against me. My relief is short-lived, however, when he picks me up in his arms and carries me back toward my room, not stopping until he places me down on my bed. I watch with hungry eyes as he slips off his t-shirt, and then he’s on the bed, lying on his side next to me. He slides a hand underneath my shirt, and I shiver as his fingers trail over my skin slowly.

“I think we do our best work in the bedroom, Ms. Dawson, don’t you?” he asks, his voice thick and husky. “Perhaps we’ll get more talking done in here, with no distractions. Now tell me. Why exactly did your last relationship end? You never told me.”

Swallowing hard, I close my eyes, really not wanting to get into this right now. “Kale, it doesn’t matter what happened with Aidan. It just didn’t work.”

Kale shakes his head, and I know he doesn’t believe me. “I don’t think so, Lucy. Something happened. I want to know. If you can’t tell your best friend, then who can you tell? Why did you split up?”

Sighing, I know he won’t stop until I admit it. I sit up and turn towards him. “Fine. You want to know why? You’re why!”

A knowing grin spreads across his face, and I know he just played me. “And how is that? I was seven thousand miles away. How could I have been the reason you two broke up?”

“It was a multitude of things. He was bothered with our relationship from the very beginning, which is why he so passive aggressively did that whole Facebook thing. But it wasn’t until the very end, when I hadn’t heard from you that things came to a head.” I pause, almost unnerved by the way he’s watching me so intently. “Every second I was with him, you were on my mind. I couldn’t get away from my email, and Heaven forbid someone try to take away my phone. I was so scared, so worried about you, and I couldn’t get you off my mind. In the end, he couldn’t compete. He knew it, I knew it, and we parted ways.”

I never thought I’d actually admit that to Kale, but now that I have, it actually feels good to get off my chest. He sits up and rests his back against the wall, his legs bent at the knees with his arms resting on them.

“Why were you scared, Lucy?” he asks as if all the other stuff I said doesn’t matter.

“I was afraid to lose you,” I answer quietly, almost whispering.

He lowers his legs to the bed and spreads them, making room for me. “Come here, Luce,” he requests, and I comply. I settle in with my back against his bare chest, and he wraps his arms around me. “Why were you afraid to lose me?”

Closing my eyes, I draw in a deep breath before answering him. “Because I care about you. More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time, and the thought of you no longer being in my life was unbearable.”

“You care about me as a friend? Just a friend?”

This is it. Kale’s leaving it up to me to decide where our relationship is going to go. I replay my last few words in my head, and I make my decision. I let him know as I shake my head no, and I feel his chest contract as he lets out the breath I could tell he was holding.

“Then as what, Lucy? I need to hear you say it. To know you feel the same way I do.”

I turn in his arms, needing to see his face, to look into his eyes as I finally admit my feelings to him. “You know when I was joking and said you’ve ruined me for all others? Well, I guess the joke’s on me, because it looks like I was dead serious.”

He lets out a low chuckle and presses his forehead into mine. “Lucy Dawson, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I don’t know, Kale. I’m a second-grade teacher, not a mind reader,” I tease, almost surprised at the lightness in my tone. I thought admitting my feelings for Kale would have been more epic, but instead, it’s just like us. It’s easy. It’s comfortable. And it feels so right. “And I don’t expect you to be a mind reader either, so let me spell it out for you. I’ve had feelings for you for a long time. I was too scared to admit it to you. Or even to myself. And truth be told, I’m scared as hell now. I love what we are, and it terrifies me that we’ll find some way to mess things up. But you’re right. ‘Whatever’ doesn’t cut it for us. We can be so much more if we just take the plunge. I’m tired of fighting it and I’m tired of being cautious. So, Kale Montgomery, I guess what I’m asking is will you, the father of my unborn child, also like to be my boyfriend?”

I hold my breath as I wait for him to answer, and boy does he make me wait for it. He’s watching me, and I can’t read his expression. Feeling uncomfortable with the silence, I start to scoot off the bed, but he pulls me back, pushing me down on the bed as he hovers over me.

“Way to steal a guy’s thunder, Lucy,” he says, and I wrinkle my brow in confusion. “Seriously, once Charlie and the guys hear that you asked me out, I’ll never hear the end of it. Just know I had every intention of doing it myself. I was just trying to wear you down. I guess I didn’t realize how awesome my own skills were.” He leans down and places a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.

Slipping my arms around his neck, I lean up, giving him a hug before lying back down. “Sorry, babe. You picked the lock, and as soon as the floodgates opened, I couldn’t shut the hell up. If you want to ask, I promise I won’t tell anyone I did it first.”

He grins down at me. “Are you kidding? I don’t give a shit about the guys. I can’t wait to tell our kid that his momma chased me until I couldn’t say no. So, yes, babe. I, as the father to your awesome unborn child, would be honored to also be your boyfriend.”

“You’re such an ass,” I tell him as I turn on my side, trying to pretend that my heart isn’t racing at the thought that just a moment ago Kale Montgomery became my boyfriend. I feel like squealing like I see my students do on a daily basis, but I somehow keep myself calm. He lies down behind me, wraps his arm around my waist, and pulls me in close, but I won’t let him distract me. “We still have a lot to talk about, you know.”

“I know, but for now, let me just bask in the knowledge that I wore you down to the point that you asked me to be your boyfriend.”

Shaking my head, I sigh. “You will never let that go, will you?”

“Not a chance, babe,” he says, chuckling, and I know he means it.

“Watch it. You still have a long way to go. I may like you, but I’m not in love with you,” I tell him, even though I know I’m probably not far off.

“Don’t worry, Lucy. I’m not in love with you either,” he responds. “At least not yet.”

My heart flutters at the implications of his words, and apparently they’re enough for the both of us, because we continue to lie there in silence. I smile into the darkness when Kale’s hand settles protectively on my stomach. For the first time since I took that pregnancy test, I feel completely at ease, and I’m more than excited at the prospect of a future with Kale.

P
ACING BACK
and forth in the room, I’m aware that I’m probably going to burn a hole in the carpet, but holy shit, I’ve never been this nervous before. It was one thing when I saw the positive pregnancy test, but now that I’m in the doctor’s office with Lucy, the whole thing is suddenly becoming so real. Part of me feels like I could pass out, and the other part is bursting with excitement for our first ultrasound.

“Kale, calm down and come here,” Lucy requests, and I stop my pacing. She’s sitting up on the bed, waiting for the doctor. “What is with you? I’ve never seen you so nervous before.”

I swallow hard, knowing that this is something I think we’ll eventually have to talk about, but I try to push the memories out of my mind, not wanting to ruin this day for us. Ever since Lucy asked me out (she’s right—I’ll never let her live that down), things have been more than amazing. We’ve spent every night together, and even though we both know we still have things to discuss, namely about the baby, we’ve been just enjoying being a couple. I figure all the other complications will come soon enough. My past being one of them. There’s no reason to taint what we have this early. I’m sure she has her own secrets that’ll come out along the way. All that matters now is that we’re together and that she, and the baby, stay healthy.