Inked Chaos (15 page)

I’m so turned on, in a world of my own;
loving the feel of him, the taste of him and even the smell of him that I let
out a startled squeal, as I suddenly find myself on my knees facing the
headboard, with AJ kneeling behind me.

I look over my shoulder to watch him
opening and putting on a condom, then looking up at me with an intense,
determined glint in his eye.

“Lean down babe.” He instructs, and as I do
so, he grabs my hips and pulls them upwards.  I can feel the tip of him between
my legs, the anticipation turning me on, so when he thrusts inside me and stays
there, it takes my breath away.  Drawing out and plunging back in, he once
again stays inside but gyrates his hips, before repeating this action again and
again.  I can feel it coming and I know it’s going to tear me in two, as AJ
takes one of his hands and puts it between my legs, hitting the target as he
always does, and I’m a goner.  Blown apart to the four winds, riding that
wonderful feeling as AJ moves up a gear, reaching for his own release, groaning
as he plants himself deep as he does so.

Falling to his side, he takes me with him,
keeping us connected and spooning me from behind; wrapping his arms around me,
one on my waist one on my breast.  With both of us gasping, trying to catch our
breath, I wrap my arms on top of his at my waist, feeling him link his fingers
through my own; pulling me towards him in a hug, while kissing my neck and my
shoulder.  We lie like this for a while, neither of us speaking.  For me, I am
struck speechless by the pure beauty of what I have just experienced, I hoped
that it was the same for AJ.

“Did you feel it Birdie?” he whispers in my
ear. “Do you get it now?”

“Yes.” I whisper my reply, and I do.  I
understand totally what he means.  This connection that we have is something I
have never experienced before.  It’s like we are two halves that have become a
whole.  It had meant so much more, and he’s letting me know that he understands
and that he felt it too.

I roll onto my back and raise my hands,
brushing my thumbs over his cheekbones; caressing his face with my fingertips,
memorising the feel of his features.  

Grabbing my hand, he brings my palm to his
lips and kisses it, before taking my lips almost reverently, gentle, and full
of meaning.

Breaking the kiss and resting his head on
the pillow next to me he utters. “At last.” With sigh of relief, squeezing me
with a hug.

AJ moves away from me, leans down and
kisses me lightly on the lips before leaving the bed and heading for the
bathroom.

Observing him as he goes, I take in the
beautiful dragon tattoo on his back, and that pert backside of his, and I
wonder if I have fallen into another universe.  A universe where there is
another me, a lucky me, my doppelganger who obtains all that she dreams and
desires.  It can be the only explanation, for the way my life has changed so
dramatically over the last few weeks.

My mind and my heart are full of AJ; so
much so, that with a jerk I suddenly sit up with the realisation that I love
him.

Oh my God! Suddenly I go into panic mode.  My
wall has gone, smashed to smithereens and I feel vulnerable.  Vulnerable to
being hurt again, and totally exposed.

Lying down in the bed I turn onto my side
and pull the covers up to my chin, drawing my knees up, cocooning myself.  I need
time to process the thoughts in my head, and any moment AJ will be back.

This is the moment I make a stupid
decision.  I decide I will fain sleep, wait until AJ is asleep, then I can get
my head straight.

Forcing myself to relax, I close my eyes
and wait for AJs return.

On hearing the bathroom door open, I
instinctively tense up and try to force my muscles to relax.

Climbing into bed behind me, AJ nestles
into my back, putting an arm around my waist and pulling me into his lap.

I obviously didn’t relax well enough,
because I feel him still and his body go taut.

“What the…?” he states.  I stay silent and
pretend to be sleeping, but I know deep down that I’m just putting off the
inevitable.

“Birdie, I know you’re awake.  What’s up?”

Deciding to try and bluff my way through,
keeping my eyes closed I turn to face him, snuggle in closer and murmur that
I’m just tired.

Feeling AJ placing a finger under, and
lifting my chin so he can see my face clearer, I open my eyes.  Studying me for
a few moments I watch his mouth tense and his eyes narrow before he exclaims:
“Shit, I was only out of the room for a moment.  Tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” I
reply.

“That’s crap honey.  I left you in this bed
happy, knowing that you understood what we had.  I’m gone two damn minutes and
I come back to this.”

“This?”

“Yeah, this.  You’ve shut down on me babe.  Now
do you want to tell me why the sudden withdrawal?”

“I haven’t shut down on you!” I exclaim
indignantly, whilst knowing deep down that what he said is true.

“Honey, you have.”

I try to roll away from him, intent on
leaving the bed; my plan to seek sanctuary in the bathroom, but he is too quick
for me, and snags me around the waist before I reach very far.  Irrationally, I
start to struggle, desperate to escape and have a few moments to gather my
thoughts.

“God damn it Birdie.  What the hell?” he
forces out through gritted teeth, as he struggles to hold me.

Placing his arms around my waist and
capturing my hands, he then wraps his legs around my own, effectively holding
me captive, locked into his embrace, with no chance of escape.  Breathing
heavily I lie there essentially trapped.

“Now dammit, are you
going to calm down and talk to me?” he asks tensely.

Not being able to voice
any words I silently nod my head, and feel his arms and legs loosen, but not
release totally.  I lie there not knowing what to say.  I have just totally
humiliated myself by my uncontrollable actions.  So now, not only do I need to
hide the fact that I love him, but I have the knowledge, that he probably now
thinks I’m a total nutty freak, and can’t wait to be rid of me.

“Okay.  What’s going on in that head of
yours?” he questions cautiously.

I stay silent, not because I choose to be
awkward, but because I’m truly struggling to find the right words.

“Birdie, please honey.  I love you, tell me
what’s wrong so I can fix this.”

I feel my muscles tense up, and on sensing
this so does he, tightening his lock on me, anticipating that I’m going to
flee.

Little does he know I couldn’t move even if
I wanted to.  He has just rocked my world and he doesn’t even realise it.  I
take in a deep, shuddering breath and try to calm myself.

“Birdie? Please.” he
whispers in my ear.

“You love me?”  I breathe.

For several long moments there is no
response to my question, and I begin to fear I misheard him.  Begin to fear
that once again I had been foolish.

Turning me towards him, he holds me close,
staring into my eyes.

“Yeah, I love you.  Not exactly how I
planned on telling you, but there you go.  I thought you’d have guessed after
the concert.”

“You love me?” I repeat softly.

“Yeah, honey.  Now please, tell me what’s
wrong.”

“I love you,” I state.

Yep, I just blurted it out.  Another Jorgi
mouth malfunction.  So much for gathering my thoughts.  So much for not letting
him know.

“Good to know honey.  Really
good to know, now please…..”

“That was it.” I confess interrupting.  I
didn’t want to, but I had promised him honesty.

“That was it? You mean that you love me?” At
my nod, “All that? Why Birdie?”

“I just realised.  I was scared you would
notice, and I didn’t want to be the only one out there.  My wall’s gone AJ.  You
smashed it down, and I have no protection anymore.  I kind of panicked.”

“You don’t need your wall anymore.  You
have me, body and soul.  I’m going to do my best to protect you in every way
possible, do you not understand that Birdie.  I am your wall.”

I can find no words to communicate how I
feel, so I decide to show him.  Touching my lips to his chin, I slowly kiss his
face working my way to his lips, running my tongue across them.  Immediately AJ
takes control and shows me in every way possible that he loves me, before
holding me in his arms while I drift off to sleep, feeling safe and protected.

I gaze out of the car
window, watching the passing scenes go by.  Observing all the people rushing
around, doing what has to be done in their busy little lives.  Hearing the car
horns blaring, pressed by frustrated drivers stuck in traffic jams.  Whilst
here inside the car is peace and serenity.  Just AJ and I holding hands, as we
travel through the bustling city of London.

The last few hours have been pure bliss.  After
being awoken by AJ; brushing his fingers over my nipple, whilst his other hand
brushed over other parts of me between my legs.  As you can imagine, I was very
alert, in a very short amount of time.  I have to confess, being woken up by AJ,
was much more to my liking, than an alarm clock blaring in my ears.

After my beautiful wake up call, we had
lain in bed chatting about the day ahead, and AJ had suggested that after his
meeting with Tiny and Wade, that we had a day out sightseeing.  As this brought
back memories of our time out in California, I had beamed a happy smile, to
which he had commented that “as the idea seemed to please me so much, it was a
good job that he had already arranged it.”

We had hit the shower, yes together, where
once again AJ had shown me that he had a very creative imagination, where making
love was concerned.  Before leaving me to dress, while he met the guys in the
suite used for meetings.  

So here we are, travelling through the city,
heading towards the London Eye.

I had asked AJ, about how we were going to
be able to sightsee without him being recognised.  To which he had produced a
baseball cap and sunglasses, which he donned, and then grinned at me as if to
say “no one will recognise me now.” Laughing out loud, I had pointed out that
it was quite a feeble disguise, but he seemed to think it would work, so I
tried to contain my laughter and said no more.

He also informed me, that the places we
were visiting had all been primed to expect us, so no standing in queues, and
where possible back door entrances and exits, so not to worry about the
security aspect, as it was all covered.  This was proven by seeing Tiny in the
front passenger seat, with a driver named Andy, who I had never met before.

Pulling up at the kerb, Tiny exits the car
and is met by Wade, who has been travelling in the car behind.  They briefly
wait while Tiny listens to whoever was talking into his earpiece, before
nodding at Wade, and they turn towards the car.  AJ grabs my hand, asks me if
I’m ready, and at my nod opens the door and we both exit.

With Wade next to AJ and Tiny next to myself,
we quickly walk up to the giant wheel, where we are speedily bustled into one
of the pods.

Watching the doors closing, I turn to look
at the queue of people waiting to ride the wheel, to see if we had been
identified.  I mean its okay wearing a cap and glasses, but what’s the point,
when we are obviously bringing attention to ourselves, by jumping queues in
this fashion.

What I see is a mixture of expressions.  Some
are obviously annoyed at us jumping ahead, but it is the ones that are smiling
and pointing, taking photos, and already on their phones who were worrying me.  Are
they onto the press? And if so, does that mean we are going to be bombarded by
paparazzi at the end of our ride?

Noticing where
I am looking, AJ grabs hold of my hand, and pulls me over to the far side of the
pod; where we stand, his arms wrapped around me from behind.  We watch the city
of London spread out in front of us in all her glory, as we slowly gain height.
 With Tiny and Wade keeping their distance at the other end of the pod, we
enjoy the view, with AJ pointing out landmarks that I would have missed.

All too soon
the half hour ride is over, and descending I can already see the crowd has
grown, and there are a few people who are obviously press; their cameras around
their necks giving them away.

Hearing Tiny
arranging for the cars to be ready, informing whoever he is talking to, in his
inimitable way of “how this is going to go down.” I remember my previous
encounters with the press and crowds, and I begin to feel apprehensive.  As
always AJ senses this, because his arms tighten around me, and his chin rests
on my shoulder.

“It’s covered Birdie.  Don’t worry.  The
guys know exactly what they are doing.”

Turning in his arms to face him, I place my
arms around his neck, and brush my lips to his, before pulling back and smiling
a wobbly unsure smile, trying to reassure him by making light of the situation.

“Have to say sweetie, shit disguise.  Maybe
try a wig next time.” Then observe as he throws his head back laughing.

“Did you hear that guys? Birdie wants me to
wear a wig.” He shouts over his shoulder across the pod.

Raising myself on tiptoe to look over his
shoulder, I observe both Tiny and Wade with grins on their faces, but also an
expression I hadn’t witnessed before.  One that almost said relief, but also
respect, that I wasn’t going to panic and freak out, at the obvious scene that
was about to unfold when we leave.

And a scene it is.  As the pod reaches the
bottom, Tiny and Wade reposition themselves as previously.  AJ again grabs my
hand, and I feel Tiny place a hand on my arm for guidance as we move out.

As soon as the doors open,
there were fans screaming, press shouting questions and cameras flashing.  Just
before I dip my head down to avoid the cameras, I notice what seem to be
security guards trying to hold some of the crowd back, but we are still jostled
as we make our way towards the waiting cars.  I feel Tiny move his arm up
around my shoulders whilst turning his body into mine, trying to protect me
from the hands reaching out, that seem intent on touching me.  Then suddenly we
are free of the mayhem, and by mutual unspoken agreement we all break into a
run, until on nearing the cars we slow our pace.  Glancing over my shoulder I
see the security are doing their best, but that some of the crowd have broken
through and are heading our way.

Quickly climbing into the car, no sooner
has the door shut, we speed away leaving the scene behind, and I am truly
grateful that we have reached the car without any mishap.  I now appreciate the
difference between LA and here.  Yes, we had been photographed in LA, but apart
from our meal out, it had all been from a distance.  Never, when we were on our
day trips, had we encountered this kind of experience.  So I guess in LA, he
has been able to travel the city relatively freely, without being accosted.

“You okay?” I turn to look at AJ noticing
the worried expression on his face.

“Sure.  What’s next?” I ask.  I have no
intention of letting him know that what just happened, did to some extent freak
me out.  I don’t want him worrying, that every time something like this happens,
I’m going to panic.  It’s the way things are.  The price he pays for fame, and
the price I must pay if I want to be with him.  So I will pay that price
gladly, because knowing he loves me, is all it takes for me to know it’s worth
all the hassle.

“That’s my girl.” He says
with a smile.

“What’s next?” I repeat, taking the
opportunity to change the subject.

“Madame Tussauds.” Is his
reply.

“Madame Tussauds? You’re
kidding me?”

“No, why?”

“Nothing.  It’s just, I would never have
put you as a wax model kind of guy.”

“Ah! But you see, I’ve heard that they have
a model of me, and I’m curious to see what my doppelganger looks like.”

“Oh, I see.  You have an ulterior motive.” I
laugh.

“You could say that.” He
replies with a cheeky smile.

“And this has nothing to
do with vanity?” I smirk.

“None whatsoever.”

Noticing the mischievous expression on his
face, and a glint in his eye, I can’t help but laugh.  A laugh that quickly
turns into an uncontrollable infectious giggle, which soon has him joining in.  So
by the time we reach Madame Tussauds the tension of what just happened is
totally forgotten.

*****

I’m standing with Tiny, examining the wax
models, impatiently waiting for AJ, who had needed to use the bathroom.  He had
said to carry on and he would catch us up, but I want to experience this with
him, so I’m dragging my feet as I make my way around the displays.

Turning a corner, I come across the display
of pop and rock stars, and even though I want to wait for AJ, I can’t prevent
myself from searching for his model, knowing that it’s here somewhere.

He was wrong, it isn’t a model of him; but
of him and Razor, and it’s amazing.

“Oh my God!” I say,
turning to Tiny beaming.

“Damn that’s good.” He says as he starts
walking towards the display.

As I follow him, I study the models from
behind the rope, and I am truly stunned.  Each of the models is so perfect.

“Oh, where’s AJ.” I ask Tiny. “He is never
going to believe this.  I can’t wait to see his face.” I laugh.

“Give me your phone and I’ll take a photo.  Go
stand next to AJ.” Suggests Tiny and with a smile I do as he advises.

Being careful not to stand too close to the
rope or touch the models; because knowing my luck I would knock them over.  I
position myself in front and between AJ and Razor, turn sideways and position
one arm in the air and place the other on my hip.

“Say cheese.” Calls Tiny.

“Cheese.” I shout, followed by a very loud
scream, as both the models of AJ and Razor also shout cheese.

Running towards Tiny still screaming, with
my heart pounding I glance back, to witness the pair of them hanging onto each
other, laughing hysterically.  Coming to a halt, I turn, watch and listen as
they congratulate themselves on “the sting”.  The best one yet apparently.  How
Razor had brought the change of clothes for AJ.  Yes, it appears they had great
pleasure in setting me up, and they are definitely proud of themselves.

Feeling my lips twitching, I bite back my
smile, and turn to a smiling Tiny, raising my eyebrows.  Witnessing this, he
briefly frowns until he sees me wink, and then quickly clears his expression.

Turning towards Razor and AJ, who it has to
be said, are still in their own little “aren’t we clever world”.  I position a
hand on my chest, and start to breathe heavily, whilst reaching out with my
other hand to grab Tinys arm.

“AJ!” shouts Tiny, with I have to say, a
very good impression of panic in his voice.

As I bend slightly forward, as if trying to
catch my breath, I hear AJ swear as he rushes towards me, shouting to Razor to
call for help.  I wait until he almost reaches me, before straightening up with
a grin upon my face.

“Gotcha.” I smirk.

AJ halts and stares at me in disbelief.  I’m
not sure if it’s because I retaliated the way I did, or the fact that he fell
for it.  Either way, he is struck dumb, and I stand and wait for a response
with what I hope to be an innocent expression on my face.

“Not funny Birdie.” He
finally bites out, frowning.

“Oh come on!” I exclaim. “What? You can
give it but you can’t take it?”

“I thought you were ill.” He snaps.

I’m stunned.  I can’t believe he has taken
it this way, so I find myself standing and staring at him, struggling for the right
words to say.

“Gotcha!” He suddenly says smiling at me,
and once again I am on the receiving end of his sense of humour.  I look from AJ
to Razor and then Tiny, observing them all staring at their feet, lips
twitching.

“So you play dirty?” I state glaring at AJ,
tilting my head to the side. “Retaliation shall be so sweet honey.  Better
watch your back.” I say with a sweet smile. “Now any chance of you feeding me?
I’m starving.”

“Sure babe.” Replies AJ, throwing an arm
around my shoulders and turning me towards the exit. “Let’s go feed my girl.”

Because we had entered the attraction via
the back door, we were able to leave the same way, and head back to the hotel
without any of the disturbances we encountered at the London Eye.  Although
there are a few pressmen standing outside the hotel when we arrive, so once
again, we are flanked by Tiny and Wade as we make our way inside.

Heading towards the lifts, AJ has his arm
around my shoulders, and I have my hand tucked into the back pocket of his
jeans, and we are discussing the plans for the rest of the day.  We are going
to eat in our suite, then AJ needs to rest up for a couple of hours before the
show tonight.  So Jen and I are going to do some shopping.  Then later, we will
all meet up, before heading to the arena for the last show.

They are flying over to Paris the next day,
and once again I will be saying goodbye for another couple of weeks, until we
meet up in LA at the end of the tour.

Whilst standing waiting for the lift to
arrive, I hear a commotion behind us, and turn to see what is happening.  It
appears the press are interested in someone else staying at the hotel.  Well
good, if that takes the focus off us, all the better.  I hear the ping of the
lift arriving and the swish of the doors opening at the same time my eyes
alight on a face I recognise all too well.  A face I was hoping I’d never have
to see this close; a face I definitely didn’t want to see in the same hotel as
AJ.

Melody Forrester.

I look at AJ as he guides us into the lift,
to see his mouth is tight, and his expression guarded.  He knew, I can tell.  He
knew she was here.  I also realise, that she is the woman I saw in the foyer
when I arrived yesterday.  

As we travel upwards in silence, I can feel
the tension in the air.  Looking towards Tiny, I see him watching the numbers
light up as we go higher.  Why? We are on the top floor for heaven’s sake.  Of
course he is avoiding my gaze.  Just as AJ is.

“AJ...” I start only to
be interrupted.

“Not here Birdie.” He
bites out.