Inked Chaos (16 page)

“But…”

“Birdie please, not here.  Just
hold on until we’re in our room, okay?”

I want to shout that no, it’s not okay.  I
don’t want to wait.  I want answers now.  Why is she here? If he knew she was
here, why didn’t he say? And most importantly, has he seen her? But I can tell
by the expression on his face that he isn’t going to communicate anything until
we are alone.  I guess in a way he’s right.  I don’t want Tiny listening in on
our conversation; we have little privacy as it is.

We exit the lift and Tiny turns to the
right, but not before I witness a silent look pass between him and AJ.

Turning left, we enter our suite and throwing
my bag and coat onto the back of a chair, I turn to AJ waiting for him to speak. 

Closing the door behind him, he throws the key
card onto a side table and with hands on hips silently stares at me.

“You knew didn’t you? You
knew she was here?”

“Yes.” Is his reply not denying it, taking
my breath away.  I’m scared to ask the next question, but I know I have to.  If
I don’t, it will eat away at me, festering until it’s so embedded that it will
poison my mind.

“Have you spent time with
her?”

“Yes.” Is his quick reply and it feels
almost like a physical punch to my gut.  So much so, that I take an involuntary
step backwards, before managing to control myself.

“It’s not what you think Birdie.” He
announces. “She’s staying at the hotel.  I didn’t know she would be here, but
when she found out I was here, she asked if we could meet for lunch.  It would
have seemed petty if I had turned her down.”

“You should have told
me.”

“Why? If I had told you, what would you
have done Birdie? You’d have freaked out like you’re doing now.  Besides, I
thought she would have left by now, so it wouldn’t have come into the
equation.”

“Freaked out?” I quietly repeat back to him.

“Okay, maybe that’s the wrong phrase to
use, but I’m being honest here babe.  Please, listen to what I’m saying.”

Staring at him, I realise that I still know
so little about him.  I trusted him totally.  Trusted him like I haven’t
trusted anyone in years.  I let him in, or should I say he forced his way into
my life, promising to be my protection.  Thinking it over, I feel it’s all been
a big ruse to keep it from me, including Tiny if his expression was anything to
go by yesterday.  Even Razor making a comment about making him behave.  God, if
Razor knew, did Jen? Has even my best friend been in on this deception?

“You’re being honest?” I scoff. “You once
asked me to always be honest with you, do you remember AJ?” Seeing his nod of
confirmation I continue.

“Well, I’m going to be honest with you now.
 Omitting to tell me something, thinking I wouldn’t find out is not being
honest, that’s deceitful.  I would have thought better of you for telling me
the truth straight away.  I would have respected you for that.  I’m not saying
I’d have liked it, but I’d have dealt with it.  I also wouldn’t be feeling as I
do now.”

“How do you feel Birdie?”

“Betrayed.  Betrayed and hurt and angry and
not to mention deceived.  In fact, I feel so angry AJ, I’m leaving.  I’m going
to go and cool down, and think things through.  Maybe you should do the same
while I’m gone.”

“Birdie, stay.  Running away won’t solve
anything.  We need to talk this through.”

“I’m not running away AJ, far from it.  I’m
going to face up to reality.”

“Reality?”

“Yes.  I’m going to think about whether
this relationship can realistically work.  Whether I feel I am going to be able
to trust you.”

“Babe you’re blowing this all out of
proportion.  Please stay, let’s talk.”

“Blowing it out of proportion?” I echo
stunned, before bending forwards at the waist. “You know AJ.  You know what
I’ve been through.  So maybe yes, I am just a little bit pissed off with you,
but I feel I have a right to be so, and I suggest that maybe you think about
that while I’m gone.”

Grabbing my coat and bag I head towards the
door.  I have no idea where I’m going; I just know I have to escape out of here,
find some space and some quiet, and gather my thoughts.

AJ doesn’t try to stop me, but as he moves
aside, he calls my name, asking me once again to stop.  Totally ignoring him, I
head towards the lift and notice Tiny standing sentry against unwanted visitors
to the floor.  He obviously didn’t stop Melody Forrester, so she obviously
wasn’t unwanted.

I press the call button and stand waiting,
conscious of Tiny standing behind me, his hand to his ear as he listens into
his earpiece.  The doors open and I walk inside and observe as Tiny makes to
walk in behind me.

“Oh no!” I exclaim, holding my hand up in
front of me at a stop position.

“Jorgi!” he says through gritted teeth,
then stands with an exasperated expression on his face as the doors close on
him.

On reaching the foyer I walk to the
reception desk glancing towards the entrance way, checking to see if there are
any press lurking outside.  On seeing a couple, I ask the receptionist if she
can organise a taxi for me, so that I can make a quick exit.  She calls the
doorman over and on recognising me, he doesn’t waste any time and before I know
it, I’m ensconced in the back of a black cab and moving into the busy traffic.

Hearing my phone ring I reach into my bag
and look at the screen, and seeing that it’s AJ, I turn it off.

“Where to love?” calls the driver over his
shoulder.

Not knowing London at all, I feel slightly
foolish.

“Can you take me somewhere quiet, out of
the way, where I can buy a coffee?”

“I know just the place
love.  I’ll have you there in a jiffy.”

*****

It doesn’t take long, and
I’m sitting in a little coffee shop in a trendy part of town, tucked down a
little alleyway.  Holding my coffee cup with both hands, not feeling the heat
as it burns my fingers.  My mind drifting over the words passed between us.  Surely
he can understand why I feel the way I do? He can’t be so obtuse.

I’m not sure how long I’ve sat here, but
its three coffees later and I have made the decision to try and overcome this.  To
try and trust, that what he has told me is the truth.

Deciding to call a taxi to take me back to
the hotel, I ask the girl behind the counter if she can give me a number, as I
take my phone out of my bag and turn it on.  I grimace as I see endless missed
calls, texts and voicemails from AJ and Jen.  Feeling a pang of guilt that I
hadn’t given a thought that Jen would be worried, I decide to call her first.   It
only rings once before it’s picked up by an irate Jen.

“Where the hell are you
Boo?” she shouts.

“I don’t know, and stop
shouting.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? For
crying out loud, please tell me you’re in a safe place.”

“Yes, I’m in a safe
place.  I’m in a coffee shop.”

“You’re in a coffee shop?” She repeats. “Do
you realise that half the team have been searching for you? AJ is pacing the
floor, and we have all been worried sick.”

“I’m perfectly alright for
God sake.  I am an adult.”

“Yes, but you are now also an adult in the
public eye, which makes you vulnerable where your safety is concerned.  Do you
not comprehend that?” She asks exasperated.  I tell her the address and listen
as she passes the information onto someone in the room with her.

“Stay where you are.  Tiny
is on his way.”

“I haven’t been gone that long Jen.  I told
AJ I was going somewhere to think, and that’s what I did.”

“Yes Boo, but that was nearly four hours
ago.  Four hours where your phone was turned off and no one knew where you
were.  Look honey, I know what happened…..”

“Did you know she was
here and that he saw her?” I interrupt.

“No.  Of course not.”

I’m not going to tell Jen that I think
Razor knew.  What would be the point? I have no proof, and all it will do is
start an argument between them.  Jen orders me to stay where I am so Tiny can
pick me up, and before I have a chance to speak, she’s hung up on me.

With a sigh, I start to listen to some of
AJs voicemails.  All of them apologising, begging me to come back or to ring
him and let him know I am safe.  The texts holding the same content.  Feeling
guilty I call him, but the phone goes straight to voicemail.  Looking at my
watch I see that it has grown quite late, so maybe he is at the arena preparing
for the concert.

I sit waiting for Tiny to arrive, but I
don’t have to wait long.  I look up as the bell above the door chimes, to find
him filling the doorway with a definite frown on his face.  Not bothering to
come in, he stands with his back to the door, holding it open, waiting for me.  So
I gather up my bag and phone, and walk towards him.

“Hello Tiny.”

“Jorgi.”

“I’m sorry for making you
worry Tiny.” I whisper.

“Please Jorgi, let’s just
get to the car.”

Following me outside, he gestures for me to
turn right and I see the Range Rover at the end of the walkway.

“Is AJ at the arena?” I
ask.

Receiving no reply, as we near the car I
glance at his face.  Oh boy! On seeing his expression, I have the impression
that he really is most displeased with me.  I decide not to ask any more
questions, as he opens the car door for me.  

This is when I receive the answer to my
question, because there in the back of the car is AJ.  An AJ who seems very
much relieved, but also apprehensive as I enter the car.

Reaching behind me for the seat belt, I
buckle myself in and turn towards him.

“Are you okay?” he
probes.

“Yes.”

“We haven’t much time.  We’re on the way to
the arena, but please Birdie, please believe me when I say I’m sorry.  Nothing
happened; we had lunch.  I knew if I didn’t agree to meet her, then she may
have caused some sort of scene, possibly with press involved.  It was a damage
control lunch.”

Turning towards him, I
see by his eyes that he is being sincere.

But he still doesn’t
understand why I got so upset.

"AJ.  It wasn’t the fact that you met
with her that upset me, although I admit I don’t like the idea.  It’s the fact
that you hid the fact from me.  That alone made it seem like a sordid little
secret.  Something to be kept from me.  You ask me to always be honest with
you.” On seeing him nod I continued. “You ask that of me, but it seems you are
unwilling to accord me the same consideration.  Can you understand how that
makes me feel AJ? To feel that I can’t trust you to be honest with me.” I watch
as he drops his head down, chin to chest, briefly closing his eyes, before
looking back up at me.

“You’re right.  I didn’t think of it that
way, and for that I am truly sorry.  I promise Birdie, with all that I am, from
now on no secrets, total honesty.  Please forgive me, I understand that I did wrong,
but I did have our best interests in mind.”

Looking into his eyes, I see sincerity and
honesty.  I believe that he is telling me the truth.  Casting my eyes over his
face, I see the worry in his expression, the strain over the last few hours
having taken their toll.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You forgive me?”  

“Yes, I forgive you, but AJ please, total
honesty, even if you think it’s going to hurt me.  If that’s the case we deal with
it.  I can’t have a relationship based on secrets.”

Quickly releasing his seat belt and my own,
AJ gathers me into his arms and buries his face in my neck.  Holding me close
for several moments, neither of us speaking.  Both of us just relishing the moment
of just holding each other, breathing the other in.  Raising his head, he
kisses me with the sweetest kiss this side of heaven.  Soft, gentle,
thoughtful, and longing.

Feeling the car come to a halt, I look out
of the window, and see we have arrived at the arena.  Reaching to gather my
things, it comes to mind that it’s later than I thought.

“I’m sorry.  You’re late,
and it’s my fault.”

“We aren’t that late, it doesn’t matter,
but even if we were I wouldn’t care.  Just one more thing Birdie; please,
promise me you won’t ever go running off without security with you.”

“But honey, I’m not always going to have
Tiny or someone with me.”

“I’ll rephrase that.  Promise me that if
the security are around that you use them, and not go off on your own.”

Studying his face, I comprehend his need
for this reassurance, and give it to him.

“I promise.”

On hearing my words, with a smile on his
face, he grabs my hand and we exit the car and make our way to the stage door
protected by Tiny and Wade.

As soon as we’re inside, with a hasty soft
peck on the lips, AJ leaves me to go and prepare for the concert, running down
the corridor towards his dressing room, as Tiny shows me into a room where I discover
Jen impatiently waiting for me.

No sooner have I cleared the door, she is
in my arms, hugging me so tightly that I can hardly breathe.

“Don’t ever do that to me
again.” She whispers, giving me a hug. “I’m sorry, I won’t.”

Leading me over to a sofa, we sit together
and she tells me what went on over the last few hours.  No sooner had I left
the hotel room than AJ had called Tiny, and asked him to go with me.  On
hearing that I had already left without him, in fact flatly refusing Tinys
attendance, AJ had gone into a panic.  After trying to contact me by phone, he
had gone into full find Jorgi mode.  He’d called down to reception, to ask if
they had heard where I asked the taxi to take me.  He had called Jen and asked
her if she knew of anywhere I would go.  Of course, Jen had wanted to know what
had happened, that was so bad to make me walk out on him.  AJ had very quickly,
but briefly explained, to which apparently Jen had called him “a stupid son of
a bitch.” Evidently AJ had agreed with her, and as they had no leads, all they
could do was wait it out, until I either turned my phone back on or returned.