Inked Chaos (20 page)

After
making my way through security, I leave the airport terminal and hail one of
the distinctive yellow taxis.  Giving the driver the name of the hotel, I sit
back and watch as New York flies past the windows.  The closer we travel to the
hotel, the faster my heart races, and I’m starting to get the jitters.  I’ve
never been a confrontational person.  In the past, I would have just slunk away
to hide in my hole and keep myself safe from hurt, but I just can’t do that
anymore.

The taxi
pulls up in front of the hotel, and as I pay the driver, I peer through the
window, carefully checking, to see if I can see any press.  The last thing I
want, is my arrival plastered all over the tabloids.

As the coast
seems to be clear, I jump out and all but run into the lobby of the hotel.  Locating
the lifts, I head straight towards them and impatiently press the call button
several times.  Thankfully, it doesn’t take long to arrive, and I enter and
press the button for the required floor. 

When the
doors open, I’m shocked to discover the corridor is empty.  Most unusual.  Where’s
Tiny or one of the other security crew? There’s usually someone in attendance
at all times.

After
wandering along the corridor, it doesn’t take me long to establish which is the
door to AJs suite.  Taking a deep breath, tentatively I knock a couple of times,
and wait patiently.

After a
few moments, I look at my watch and see that it’s after two a.m.  He could be
asleep or maybe they are out partying, and that’s why there’s no security
detail standing guard in the corridor.  Knocking once more with two raps on the
door, I decide that if I receive no answer this time, I will head down to
reception and request a room for the night.  

Just as
I decide to give up, and start to turn away from the door, it opens and I come
face to face with my nemesis.  Yep, there’s Melody Forrester, wearing one of
AJ’s T-shirts, a sly smile and by the looks of it not much else.  Her hair is
all tousled, and it’s obvious that I have just woken her up.

It takes
a couple of moments to calm myself, before pushing past her, I enter the suite.

“Come in why don’t you.” She mutters sarcastically.

I don’t
want to speak to her.  What I want to do is rip her head off, and throw it up
the wall.  Because of this I daren’t touch her.  If I do I will probably end up
in jail for assault.

Noticing
the bedroom door is ajar, I walk over to it and gently push it open.  Taking a
step inside, through the shadows I can see AJ lying in the bed.  Looking around
me, I locate the light switch, and reaching over my hand, flip it on
illuminating the room.

“What
the fuck?” AJ exclaims, as he sits up in bed squinting his eyes.  Quickly taking
in the scene before him, his eyes swing to me.

“Baby,
it’s not what you think.” He entreats as he scrambles out of bed in his underwear.
 

“Really?
So tell me AJ, why is she in your room, and bed at this time of night? Oh, let
me guess, you’re having a slumber party.” I snap sarcastically.

“Jorgi.”
Melody calls, and I turn to find her standing right behind me.

“Don’t.”
I hiss. “Don’t you even say my fucking name?” I snap, pointing my finger up
close to her nose.

Turning
back to face AJ, I raise an eyebrow questioningly, whilst wrapping my arms
protectively around myself.

Glancing
around the room, I can see that as usual, AJ has left his clothes where they
landed.

“Birdie,
let me explain.” He begs advancing towards me, forcing my gaze back to his.
“Please it’s truly not what you think.”

“Really, so tell me AJ what am I thinking?”

“Please baby, I had to see her.”

“You
had
to see her?” I whisper.  His words like a sharp knife slicing into me.  Flinching,
the pain almost a physical blow, I stumble a step backwards towards the door.

Why am I
putting myself through this? I should have just walked away.

Seeing
the expression on my face and my reaction AJ quickly reaches out a hand to me.

“God,
Birdie, please, I didn’t mean it like that.  Please come and sit down and I
will explain everything.”

I stand
and stare at him, the pain of his betrayal is too much.  I gave him everything
I had that was me.  I trusted him so much.  He has determinedly chipped away
until he demolished my defensive wall, only to subsequently betray me.  All the
times he has requested that I tell him the truth, and be honest with him, but
he didn’t have the decency to offer me the same courtesy.  The feeling of
betrayal is all consuming, taking my breath from me, leaving me gasping for
air.  My eyes swim with tears, and I no longer try to control them, but let
them flow down my cheeks unheeded.

Raising
a shaking hand, I brush my hair off my face, and make the decision to leave.  I
can’t do this, it hurts too much.  I raise my hands in surrender, and look at
him.

“I’m done AJ.  I’m done.” And I turn to walk out of the room.

“NO!” He
shouts. “Please Birdie.  Please don’t do this, give me a chance to defend
myself.” He pleads.

His eyes
are bright with tears, and it breaks my heart that even now, he can lie about
his emotions so convincingly.

“I
can’t.” I cry, shaking my head. “You don’t know what you’ve done AJ.  You just
don’t know what you’ve done.” And I walk to the door, stopping when I’m level
with the woman, who has brought about this whole sorry and sad affair.  I look
at her as she stares back at me, unflinching with no sign of emotion.  Before I
know what I’m doing, I slap her hard across her face, with enough force to send
her head sideways.  She cups her hand to her face and stares at me.  I wait,
but she doesn’t speak or retaliate, and with a final look between them, I rush
out and leave them to it.  

By the
time I reach the door out to the corridor, my tears are out of control, and a
sob escapes.  I hear AJ calling me and swearing when I don’t respond, but I
ignore him and run towards the lift.  It takes just a few steps, before I
notice Tiny is standing sentry.  As I press the button, he takes one look at me
and starts to walk towards me, concern written all over his face.  

“Don’t.” I sob holding up a defensive hand.

He stops
and looks over my shoulder, and as I turn to see what caught his eye, I see AJ
running towards me, hastily doing up his jeans as he runs.

“Come
on!” I whisper as I press the call button, over and over again in frustration.

Hearing
the ping of its arrival, I glance over my shoulder again and see AJ is almost
upon me; I quickly step inside and turn to face Tiny, waiting for the doors to
close.

“Jorgi?”
Tiny calls.

I just
shake my head at him, and try to smile, to put him at ease.  As the doors start
to close, I hear AJ call my name and shout to Tiny, ordering him to stop me.

Too late, I think to myself, much too late.

On
reaching the lobby of the hotel, I ask the doorman to hail me a taxi.  I keep
looking behind me, expecting either AJ or Tiny or both to appear any minute.  However,
it seems luck is on my side and a taxi pulls up.  Climbing in, I have no idea
where I’m going.  I can’t face another flight tonight, so I ask the driver to
take me to a hotel.  He gapes at me like I’m a mad woman, for haven’t I just
left one, but does as I ask anyway.

*****

Checking
into a hotel by Times Square, I enter my room and collapse onto the bed.  My
mind runs over the last hour or so, and I finally let myself give in to the
tears that I held at bay whist in the taxi.  Great uncontrollable sobs escape
me.  I am inconsolable, my body shaking with the overpowering agony I am
feeling.  Wrapping my arms around myself in a protective hug, I cry until my
eyes finally run dry.  The last thing I remember before falling into an
exhausted sleep, is the expression on AJs face as I walked away.

It’s been a tough couple
of weeks.  The morning after I confronted AJ, I had phoned Jen and told her
what had happened.  She had been more than mad with me for flying to New York,
and even madder with AJ when I had told her what I had discovered at the hotel.

I arranged for a flight back to LA.  Worried
that AJ would discover which flight I was on, I’d journeyed back to LA in a
state of nervous tension.

Whilst I was transit, Jen went to AJ’s and
packed up all my belongings, and took them back to her house.  I refused to
stay with her, as she had enough to do with organising the wedding, without me
moping around the place.  I also didn’t want AJ to know where I was.  So I
booked into a hotel, and when Jen met me from the airport with my things, I
checked in, and stayed there until the wedding day arrived.  Jen wasn’t happy,
but she knew I wasn’t going to relent, and so gave up trying to persuade me to
change my mind.

Jen and I have communicated mainly via
telephone over the last two weeks.  I didn’t want to run into AJ at her house,
so we decided it was the safest option.  

According to Jen, AJ had been frantic when
he had arrived home and discovered me gone.  What did he think I was going to
do? Wait around? I don’t think so.

There was also a tricky moment, when on one
occasion, Jen had been on the phone to me, when AJ and Razor had walked into
the room.  AJ had realised I was on the phone, and demanded to speak to me.  Unwilling
to cause a scene, Jen had passed him the phone.

“Birdie, baby please come home, let me
explain.” AJ pleaded.

I didn’t say a word.  I couldn’t, my eyes
were full of tears and my heart in my throat.

“Birdie.  Please talk to me.  If you won’t
come home, let me come to you.  It wasn’t what you think.”  

Again, I didn’t reply.  I could hear the
angst in his voice, but I couldn’t speak.  If I’d tried I’d have been a sobbing
wreck.

“You’re not going to speak to me are you? Oh
God, please at least let me know you’re safe.  Are you safe Birdie?” He asks,
desperation in his voice.

“Yes, I’m safe.” I’d whispered.  I couldn’t
have spoken any louder if I’d tried.  I’d then hung up, unable to listen to his
voice a moment longer, before bursting into tears.

The next time I had spoken to Jen, she
informed me that as soon as I had hung up, AJ had thrown the phone against the
wall smashing it into pieces, before sitting down, with his head in his hands.  She
had left the room, giving him and Razor, some privacy.

She also said AJ had told her the reasons
Melody was in his room, and that I should listen to him.  That I was in the wrong,
and that I should let him explain.  Needless to say I refused, I needed to
guard my heart, and speaking to AJ just wasn’t going to help.  So she begged me
to be careful, and reminded me that I still needed to be vigilant where my
safety was concerned.  No one knew AJ and I had split up, so security wise, I
still needed to be cautious.

So now, we’re in one of the bedrooms on the
estate where Jen is to marry Razor.  The ceremony and reception being held in
huge marquees in the grounds.  Covered walkways are everywhere, hiding the
guests from the press helicopters above, ensuring that no photographs would be
leaked in the press.  In fact, security was so tight, I doubt a mouse could
have squeezed in.  

There had been a moment, when with Jen
finally in her dress, we had looked at each other and tears had welled up in
both our eyes.  Chastising each other, we had both grabbed tissues to wipe the
others eyes, and hugged until I thought our ribs would crack.  I had never seen
Jen look so stunning.  Razor was a very lucky man, who wouldn’t know what hit
him when she walks down the aisle.

A knock at the door makes us pull apart,
and I look questioningly at her.  Shrugging her shoulders at me, she motions for
me to open the door, so I move across the room, hoping it isn’t AJ.  Although I
know that we are going to see each other today, and I know he is going to want
to speak to me, there is no way I can face him right now.

Opening the door, my mouth drops
open with shock, for standing there are Davy and Ben.  I turn to gawp at Jen,
who is standing there with a beaming grin on her face.  She takes one look at
my expression and laughs out loud.

“Surprise!” she shouts,
throwing her arms into the air.

I’m swept into Davys arms and hugged,
before Ben joins in with Jen, and its hug huddle.

“Jen! Why didn’t you tell
me they were coming?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.  Besides,
who else did you think was giving me away?”

I look between her, Davy and Ben, and
promptly burst into tears.  All the pent up emotions of the last two weeks take
over, with the knowledge that my family are all here.  I have spoken to Davy on
the phone, so she is aware of some of what has happened.  Although I haven’t
given her the full version of events, as I didn’t want her to worry or even
worse threaten to come to LA.  I had planned on divulging the full events when
I returned home to the UK.

Finally composing myself, I notice Davy is
also wearing a bridesmaids dress, in the same colour but a different style, and
holding a brooch bouquet.  Jen announces that we are all the family she has, so
of course Davy was in the wedding party.  She couldn’t believe that I hadn’t
even thought of it.  She would have loved Eva as a flower girl, but they
decided that the flight would have been too long for her, so they have left her
at home with Bens parents.  

Another knock at the door follows, and it
opens a fraction, just enough to allow the head of the wedding organiser to pop
her head around the corner.

“All systems go folks.  Are
you ready Jen?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She smiles and
reaches down to the box on her bed that holds her stunning brooch bouquet.

“Make-up!” I screech and we both quickly
move over to the mirror and fix the damage produced by tears.  Turning to Jen,
I kiss her on the cheek and adjust her veil around her shoulders.  

On a final hug, we turn towards Davy and
Ben and they leave the room.  In less than five minutes, I will see AJ for the
first time since New York.  Taking a deep breath I try to compose myself, grab
my bouquet from its box and follow them out.

*****

Oh my! My heart is just bursting with joy
for my dearest friend.  She truly is a vision, as she walks towards Razor with
a smile upon her face.

I cast my gaze towards Razor and witness
the look of awe upon his face; his eyes bright with unshed tears, as they
follow Jen walking gracefully towards him.  Theirs truly is a story of love at
first sight, and I couldn’t be happier for them.

Without conscious thought, my eyes wander
towards AJ to find him staring at me.  He looks good.  So good, but his eyes
seem dead.  The bright sparkle that was always present, seemingly now
diminished, filling me with sadness.  Compelling my gaze away, I take a deep
breath to compose myself and watch as Jen reaches Razor and takes his hand.  

The ceremony is beautiful, with Jen and
Razor exchanging vows with such emotion, my eyes tear up.  They commence walking
back up the aisle, holding hands and greeting people as they go, and I move to
follow suit meeting AJ at the centre.  He stops and holds out his arm for me to
take, and after a slight hesitation I link my arm with his, and we proceed to
follow Jen and Razor.  

“Are you okay?” he whispers quietly, whilst
nodding and smiling at people as we pass.

“Are you asking because you want to know,
or because you feel obligated to?” I enquire bitchily, whispering through my
grin.  I regret the words as soon as they are spoken.  I guess it’s a gut
reaction of self-preservation, and I immediately wish that I could take them
back.

“Birdie! Please.” He
retorts exasperated.

“I’m Okay.” I sigh. “I won’t deny I’ve been
better, but I’m……. surviving.”

“Can we talk?” and on feeling my body jerk in
reaction to his question. “Not now, later when all the formalities are over.”

We reach the end of the aisle and turn to
proceed towards Jen and Razor who are standing out in the foyer.  Stopping, I
remove my arm from his, and turn to face him.  He seems tired and anxious, and I
watch his lips compress at my hesitance.  Do I want to be alone with him? I
guess I owe him a chance to explain, so as I turn towards Jen, I look back at
him and nod my agreement, before walking towards the newlyweds to offer my
congratulations.

Kissing Jen on the cheek, she whispers into
my ear asking if I’m alright.

“Of course! I’ll speak to you later.” And I
move away towards Davy and Ben.

On reaching them, Ben hands me a glass of
champagne, and I raise it to them in salute, before taking a long hard drink.

“Hey, slow down.”
Chastises Davy.

With a hint of rebellion
I empty the rest of my glass.

“Boy, I needed that.” I announce and grab
another glass from a waiter walking past.  On viewing Davys disapproving expression,
I pull a wry face.

“Don’t panic, I just needed the first hit.  I’ll
take it slow from now on.” I vow and cast an eye around the room.  There are a
lot of famous people here, but also a lot of people who aren’t.  I’m not
surprised, even though Razor is famous, he has kept his feet firmly on the
ground and stayed true to his roots.  I know for a fact that some of his school
friends, and even his old music teacher have been invited.

I spy the top of AJ’s head across the room,
and I swiftly avert my eyes before he notices me looking.

“I take it you two
haven’t spoken and made up yet.” Ben says.

I watch as Davy turns and gives Ben a
pointed look.  I can’t help smiling.  I just know he will catch the end of her
tongue later.

“What?” he exclaims,
looking at her.

“It’s okay.” I announce. “No we haven’t, but
he just asked me if we can talk later.”

“And?” questions Davy.

“And I agreed.” On seeing her smile, I
quickly put her straight. “Don’t go grasping at straws.  I said I would talk,
that’s all.”

Davy gives me a frowning look, to which I
just raise my eyebrows at her.  She knows me too well.

“Well! All I’m saying is hear him out.  You
never know, he might have a good reason.  You’re usually a fair minded person
Boo, you always have been.  I know you will make the right decision, whatever
that may be.”

Dear Davy, always my most ardent supporter,
but never forgetting to straighten me out when the need arises.

“Anyway, not that I’m what you call a
typical fan girl, but I would like to meet the guy at least once.  You know,
just to give you my let’s say... biased opinion.” Davy says smirking.

Ben stands there with his eyes closed, slowly
shaking his head, with a grimace on his face; almost as if to say “and you moaned
about me”.  Davy just stares at me, a look of total innocence upon her face,
all but fluttering her eyelashes.  I know what she’s doing, she’s making me
feel better by lightening the mood.   I can’t help it, I burst out into loud all-consuming
laughter.  So loud that even a few people turn towards me and start to smile or
laugh too.  By the time I’ve finished, my eyes are wet and I’m struggling to
catch my breath.  

“Oh God! I needed that.”
I exclaim.

“Then job done.” Announces Davy. “And much
better than an alcohol fix.”

“Okay, point taken.  Thanks Sis.” As I lean
towards her and kiss her cheek.

“Anything for you my Boo.” She whispers in
my ear, and I feel my eyes well up again, this time with emotion.

We spend the next hour, having photographs
taken and mingling with the guests; with all the band members coming over to
meet Davy and Ben.  As I knew they would, they both take it in their stride,
and don’t blink an eyelid that they have met the band members.  Even when a
friend of Razors, actor Sam Moress, who I had first met at Jens party came to
say hello, Davy who I know is a big fan, held it together.

“Can someone get me a fan?” Davy jokes, as
he moves away. “That guy is hot.”  

Laughing at her I take another sip of
champagne.

“I don’t know what you’re laughing at.  He
couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” She declares.

“What! Don’t be daft Davy, he was just
being polite.” I reply.

“You can be polite, without having to have
your eyes glued to someone, but that’s just my opinion.  Oh my God! Stand by
your beds; Hot Rocker at ten o’clock and moving in rapidly, with a determined
glint in his eye.  Stay cool Boo.” She mutters and takes a drink of champagne
nonchalantly.  

Frowning, I turn my gaze to my right, and
see AJ heading in our direction.  Taking a deep breath and straightening my
back, I force a smile on my face.  Even though there are no press here, and mobile
phones have been banned, I am still on the alert that someone would be taking
pictures.  I don’t want our private life and situation out in the press yet.  We
have managed to keep it quiet so far.  If we can maintain that until I’m back
in the UK I’ll be happy.

It seems that AJ is of the same opinion,
because to my shock, on reaching my side, he slips an arm around my waist and
kisses my temple.

“Hi Babe.  Are you going
to introduce me?”

Composing myself swiftly from the shock of
his actions, I introduce him to Davy and Ben.  I didn’t know how Davy would
react, but she holds her own and is polite.  Ben however, shocks the hell out
of me.  Kind and gentlemanly Ben, becomes quite standoffish and abrupt.  I have
never seen him react this way before, and I stare at him, sending him an
unspoken message to ‘chill out’.