Innocence (13 page)

“I would be delighted to get it for you.”

She lifted her head to glance at him. He winked.

They took the walk back to the car for her to sit inside exhausted while Calvin went in the shop to get the treats and whatever else he needed. Sitting and watching families of all ages, elderly couples, one couple holding hands looking so happy. She bet they had been together for many years and you could still see the love in them. She wondered if she’d ever find her one true love. She had watched movies and read books, but whether love existed was another matter.

Chapter Six

Calvin was excited, humming happy tunes, armed with all the snacks and ice cream Kacey had requested and managed to find a film for them to enjoy, something sweet
The Holiday
. He had watched it a few times before aware it was well suited for the evening. He had no idea what to expect, but something in his heart skipped about and informed him he liked the girl, there was something remarkable about her, but what? He could not quite put his finger on it.

It had been years since he felt such happiness, as though Kacey had turned up to save his soul, reminding him of the real world and to the fact he could be more than just a businessman mooching around and shouting orders. Here he was pleased he’d saved her and somehow deep in his gut found her interesting, despite all her difficulties. He wasn’t so keen on the drug and alcohol side, but she had unique qualities about her, besides the fact his heart ignited whenever he was around her.

Calvin had learned over the years to be cautious and trust wasn’t something he handed out. Yes, he held a major bravado, liking people to know where they stood, firm and fair when needed, yet had a heart of gold and would try and give anyone the benefit of the doubt. He simply believed Kacey had simply got lost in her ways, and forgotten what it felt like to be cared for.

He wondered if it was his generosity that gave him the kick, the thrill of helping a defenceless woman out, becoming a new challenge to him. Either way, whatever it was, he liked the feeling of helping her out, and being her hero was enough to put a smile on his face.

Driving his car back to the village, seeing her snoozing made his heart sing a tune. How he’d been delighted he hadn’t called the police on her. He’d taken a massive gamble and allowed his heart to take over. He knew she could have turned out to be some psycho, but that hadn’t been the case.

Kacey looked cute, snoozing, parting her delicate lips to breathe. She was sincere and elegant the way she nurtured her bump.

He pulled the car up in the car park, gutted he had to wake her. Maybe he should drive for a few more hours and keep her content and relaxed, maybe he could take them away from the hassles of the village and away from her parents who seem not to care. He could not understand why they abandoned her the way they had, if his daughter had come running for help, despite what happened in the past he might be vigilant, but would help her. How could they turn their back and not worry about where and what might be happening to her, or even if she was alive or dead? How could they breathe with the possibilities on their conscience? He guessed they had their reasons, but what? Calvin wished she would tell him what happened all those years ago and why she walked away.

Calvin guessed it had been something terrible…or had it been a typical adolescent
I know best, piss off
syndrome? He had been there a few times, but moved on from it and soon learned his parents were right and only trying to protect him.

He decided to head inside the cottage, leaving Kacey to rest. Calvin got the crisps, popcorn, and placed the pizzas in the oven, choosing ham and pineapple and a meat feast, along with plenty of juice.

“Hey,” her sweet voice sounded.

He turned around and saw Kacey stretching her arms in the air looking half asleep her bump large and exquisite.

“Hey, enjoy your snooze?” he said, placing the last bowl of snacks on the coffee table. He spun around to look at her.

“Yeah. I guess the motion of the car sent me sleepy.”

“I guess so. I have got everything ready, DVD loaded and snacks, and also the pizzas are in the oven. And ice cream stored in the freezer.” He watched her smile and tilt her head to the side rubbing it with her shoulder. He found her hypnotising, and needed to break the stare having a flutter in his tummy.

“I’m starving,” he said, diverting his attention from her.

Once his back turned, he bit his lower lip and took deep breaths.

“This is so sweet of you,” she announced, while he tried hard to contain his emotions, knowing it was too soon, knowing he shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts. “Never has a guy gone to so much effort for me,” she said.

Calvin, lost for words, swallowed heavy not needing to hold onto any possible expectations or hope.
She needs a friend, Calvin, keep it that way!

He turned to find her walking toward him. He wanted to stay where he was and have her closer, but he had to remember she was one screwed up young woman and the last thing she needed was him coming onto her, even if he found her desirable.

He stepped out of the way, allowing her to waddle to the sofa. He urgently wanted to sit alongside her, but he shouldn’t, he had to keep his distance from her. She was pregnant, weak and full of emotion, and for him confusing her would only send her over the edge. He watched her sit on the sofa pinching a crisp, even the sound of her crunching made him smile.

Calvin sat on the opposite couch and started the film. Pouring her a drink he could not help but watch her resting her feet up and cuddling her tummy.

The pizzas were served while watching the movie. Calvin became lost in his thoughts, wondering if Ross was looking into giving her help. He wished he could help more, but that was impossible working in London, unless he asked his father if he could work from the York branch. He rubbed his face thinking about the option, leaving the crazy London life and living back in the country. Calvin was a country boy, born and bred, and he’d missed it greatly.

The movie finished and Calvin could not help but watch Kacey as she tucked into her ice-cream licking her lips and using the tip of her finger to wipe the corners of her mouth. He really wondered how hard the years had been on her and whether she was stronger than she made out. He bet yesterday morning had been a blip a cry out for help, and trust him to be the one to find and support.

Calvin gazed starry eyed at Kacey, wishing he could have moved closer to her and put his arm around her shoulder, offering her more comfort. The resistance killed him.

“Does it feel weird carrying a baby inside you?”

Kacey stared at him wide-eyed. “Kind of, why?”

He understood her question. “I was just curious, looks uncomfortable, but then you women are amazing, the way your bodies adapt for such a miracle.”

“Doesn’t feel like a miracle,” she spoke softly, running her hand over her bump.

“Has she moved yet?” he asked inquiring.

“No. I am sure she is fine, no doubt did too much during the night. This is wonderful, thank you,” she said.

He guessed she was referring to the evening. “You’re welcome, was nothing really? Has been a while since I did such a thing, night in, relaxing and draining your thoughts,” he said lying, he had more than enough time back in London living alone, he just chose to work all the time.

“I guess so. Great movie!”

“Yes. Can I ask you a question?” His stomach somersaulted. “Sorry, but it’s bugging me.” Kacey gazed at him, chewing her lower lip while he scrunched up his nose, needing her to be honest before his head exploded. “I’m unsure if you will answer, but…I just feel it might help, or I could help to get a better understanding.” Her face said nothing. “I was wondering what happened when you were younger to make your family disown you?” There he’d asked.

Kacey turned her head away looking in the opposite direction, swallowing heavily. He knew he hit a bad nerve, he didn’t wish to be nosy, but to help.

She scratched her face, and he was unsure if she’d tell him.

She lifted her head to glance in his direction seeing her eyes welling up. “I have never told anyone why or what really happened.” Her eyes narrowed and looked full of sorrow. “I don’t think I have ever believed it myself, pushed it to the back of my mind, but recently since my bag got stolen, I have thought of nothing but, I mean, why do people steal other people’s possessions? It’s tore my heart to shreds,” she told him. Calvin sensed the matter was sensitive and needed to step carefully. He decided to move closer to her and mounted his bottom on the edge of the sofa, prepared to give her any comfort she desired. He turned his knees toward her to give her his full attention. He took hold of her soft, gentle hand.

“I am sorry.” Tears trickled down her cheeks.

“Hey, don’t worry. I wish to help all I can.” He squeezed her hand tight.

She looked into his eyes. His heart murmured.

“I had things in that bag that meant the world to me, including photos and an address, and now I have lost it. I have no idea what to do,” she sobbed.

“Oh, Kacey.” He shuffled closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“I was young.” She wiped the tears away from her cheeks. “Scared…I don’t think I can do this.” When suddenly she hurled her body up from the sofa and walked to the other side of the room. He could see the clear distress in her, torrents of tears streamed down her cheeks. She spun her body away from him standing in the kitchen. His heart breaking, eager for her to tell him what happened. He sat waiting for her to tell him, if she wanted too.

He heard her huff and inhale a deep breath before pulling some kitchen roll and blowing her nose. Calvin was unsure what to do, he wrinkled up his nose. He stood and made his way to her, wanting desperately to know what happened to tip her life so badly upside down.

“Kacey.” He approached her when she turned abruptly around.

“Please don’t judge me like my parents did all those years ago, well correction, my mum.”

“Of course not, I would never do that. I am not here to judge you, but to be a friend. I can see how much this is shattering you and its left a massive dent in your life.”

“I was sixteen, experimenting,” she sobbed. “And well,” she said, lowering her gaze to the floor. He could see how difficult it was going to be for her to explain. “I went with a boy…man, whatever, and had…you know…” she said, lifting her head clearly avoiding the word.

“Sex?”

She nodded her head up and down.

“Anyway, I found out I was…I was…oh God,” she said and stormed passed him to the other side of the room and sat on the sofa holding her head in her hands, rocking her body back and forth. He followed her. He rushed around the sofa, moving the coffee table out the way so he could kneel before her. He took hold of her cold hands and gently caressed them, while looking at her hairline.

“Oh God,” she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“It’s okay, take your time.” He encouraged her, not wanting her to feel pressured.

She lifted her head and wiped away the tears and snorted heavily. “I confided in my mum, and well…I didn’t know what I was thinking or doing at the time. I needed help…I was so scared,” she stuttered.

“It’s fine. Take your time,” Calvin said, rubbing her hands, seeing her eyes red raw.

“She took me to get help…and the next thing I knew I was surrounded by medical people, talking to me and telling me what would happen and the procedure, my head was a whirlwind and I…I just couldn’t…think. There was too much information. Mum told me, no, forced me into what to do and my heart was saying another.”

He tried intently to figure out what she was telling him, but some of her words were muffled, he couldn’t understand clearly. He scratched the top of his head, while she wept. He could see and hear how anguished she was, tears running down her beautiful face and stopped at her chin before dropping to her bump. He could feel her shaking frantically. His heart collapsed as his chest tightened restricting his breathing.

“I was so scared, Calvin.”

“What did your mum make you do?”

“Promise, not to judge me,” she whimpered.

“No…I would never do that.”

Kacey stared nervous into his eyes. “My mum made me…” She lowered her head once again.

Bile filled his throat, knowing whatever it was had clearly left her heart shattered and, she’d spent years suffering with the consequences.

He waited for her patiently.

“She made me get an abortion.”

His heart stop beating, jaw dropped, he trembled and froze to the spot. He stared at her while he shrunk back onto his heels, not believing what she said. He ached throughout his entire body hearing her sheer anguish.

The room fell silent while he tried to digest what she told him. Mouth dry to the horror, his heart sank into the pit of his churning stomach. He suffered a tight feeling in his chest struggling to breathe.

His eyes fell on Kacey, tears spilling down her cheeks, landing on her bump.

He reached for her hands tightly clenching them together. “My God, that is terrible.”

She lifted her head and their eyes made contact, seeing her level of suffering her eyes swollen. “Please don’t think evil of me.”

Calvin tried to get his head around the information. “Your mum forced you?”

“She called me a slut, prostitute, and said how I was degrading the family, and that I had to get rid of the nasty unwanted thing growing inside me.”

Tears ran down her cheeks, snorting and wiping her eyes.

Calvin became speechless, trying to get his head around what Kacey told him. Now, he understood her resentment and could see how going back to her mum was the last resort.
You poor woman…my God, I cannot begin to imagine how you felt or have felt over the years.