Innocence (26 page)

“Sorry, doctor, could I ask you one more question?” Calvin asked. He nodded his head. “Could stress have been the main factor of what has happened?”

“No, she had a condition and unfortunately when her GP tried tracking her down to get her back into the surgery they couldn’t locate her. The scan showed the placenta was low lying.”

Calvin gasped. His heart wrenched.

“Did Sophie know this information?” he asked as his stomach sunk.

“I believe not, that was the reason the doctors were trying to contact her, only they had no success.”

“Should I have brought Sophie in yesterday?” he said holding his chest.

“We might have been able to have kept a close eye on her,” he told him. Calvin had nothing else to say. It had been his fault, and he should have encouraged her to seek medical help, but he hadn’t and now they were here.

* * * *

Calvin stood lifeless on the spot, there was just no way he could get his head around what the doctor said.
“We might have been able to have kept a close eye on her,’
which was the doctor’s words. His life appeared to be slipping through his fingers, everything pointed at him and how he should have told Sophie he was taking her in to be checked over, but no, she said she was fine and he took her word for it and all the time the baby was in distress.

“Are you coming, Calvin?” Rosalind asked while he was deep in thought.

“Sorry,” was all he could reply.

“The nurse is taking us to see the baby…and then when Sophie is ready, we can visit her,” she said.

Calvin was distant and not really paying any attention other than thinking about Sophie. Yesterday he should have ignored her and taken her to the doctor. The matter remained he didn’t, he didn’t insist, and he didn’t drive her to the hospital, so today was his fault. He had no excuses, there were no excuses to be made.

He followed behind Rosalind and Alan down the many corridors and through another set of double doors, not having a clue where he was heading, until he looked up and saw a sign,
Neonatal Unit,
above the door.
He stopped and stood at the door, there was no way he could go in there and see the tiny little baby in an incubator attached to leads on monitors and listening to them beeping, because of him. He had caused the baby to be born early.

Calvin stood watching Rosalind and Alan walk into the unit. He couldn’t bring himself to enter. Quickly, he moved out the way of the white panelled doors. His knees were trembling and quickly he leaned against the wall. Tears gushed out of his eyes. His heart ached and his chest felt as if a knife had been plunged inside, preventing him from breathing. Calvin could not stand the pain he suffered, yet he deserved all that would come his way.

The emotion and heartbreak left him struggling to stand, fighting for his breath. The whole area around him had gone a blur, no sound, no existence. He had shut down. All he could feel was the mental and physical torture inside his body.

He inhaled a deep breath and opened his eyes knowing it was late in the day, but what time he had no idea. The whole day had been a whirlwind, and he wanted it over and done with now.

A few days ago, he was considering getting to know Sophie, but now…
It’s all a fucking mess. God…first time I show some interest in the opposite sex and she turns out to have lived a nightmare because of me…me…fucking idiot.
Calvin wanted to hit himself. The fact remained all that had happened in the last few days had been his fault.

He had to leave. He had to get away and try and get his head sorted before he cracked up, mother and baby were in intensive care due to him not taking Sophie to the doctor. He felt so small and now everything was over his head and he had no idea how to comprehend his actions. He had stopped her from jumping off the bridge and yet, he led her right into another misfortune. He would take the full blame for his action all those years ago. It appeared that the couple were nothing but a disaster together.

Their lives had been so innocent and yet changed within seconds. How could that have happened? How could he have been living a selfish life while Sophie suffered a terrible fate after his
clumsiness?

Calvin would swallow his pride and walk away…he had to leave. He had to say goodbye and forget about ever meeting the girl he had fallen in love with all those years ago, be the man and keep out of the picture. After all he had been the one to interfere in her life by having sex with her and sending her on a rollercoaster she didn’t deserve. The fact did however remain that he had been the one to stop her from jumping off the bridge. Why had she chosen that bridge on his parents’ land to take her life?
For God, sake didn’t she recognise the land or river? Why did I have to come up north for a break?

He originally was going to take a trip abroad, sun, sea and well, be totally lazy, relax and not spend a single second thinking about his job, the possibilities of not being disturbed. Yet instead, he decided to go see his parents and spend some quality time with them. He should have gone abroad, and then he would never have discovered the sorrow and heartbreak of the truth.

Emotional as he walked not having a clue as to where he was going or what he was doing. Far too many thoughts raced through his mind. The tears prevented him from seeing anything. He could hear the sound of car horns as he stepped out onto roads and junctions, but he carried on without a care for his actions, his head hanging down, and tears dripping of his chin. It was dark and street lights shone on the pathways, a few areas darker than others.

He heard a storm in the distance and laughter coming from the local bars and clubs. Calvin continued to walk, not stopping for anything. He barged into a few people as they called him names, but he was far too lost in his guilt to answer, or argue back.

Calvin strolled through the park, hearing the sound of ducks and birds. The park wasn’t well-lit but he didn’t care, he deserved someone to jump him and leave him for dead.

Just days ago his life had been perfect everything within his grasp. He clicked his fingers and he had it all, money, nice apartment, the best cars, women, anything and everything. He had Veronica chasing him like a bad smell back in London. He had the ability to tease her and make her play his games. She’s pretty, tall, long dark hair, sexy bottom and nice boobs, wearing her blouses with the top button always undone.

“Hey, gorgeous…fancy some fun?” she said licking her luscious red lips.

“Busy.”

“Oh come on, Calvin. A night off would do you a world of good. We could…” she said walking around to his side of his desk, resting her bottom on the edge with her skirt raised showing off the tops of her stocking. He glanced like any man would and felt his manhood reacting, but he really couldn’t escape the office for at least another few hours. She reached to take hold of his tie, feeding it through her fingers seductively. “We could get a bottle, take-out, and check out the springs in your bed.”

Calvin hitched his brows, so used to hearing the same line every time she visited his office.

“Sorry, got loads on. I might be able to this weekend.”

“Weekend…baby, that is days away,” she said tugging at his tie. “Have you ever been told it’s rude to keep a lady waiting?”

“I think my father told me that.”

“You should listen to him,” she said and pulled him to the side by his tie. He lifted his head and before he had a chance her lips were pressed firmly against his. He pulled back. However, her grip was tight and he feared she would strangle him.

“How about…” he said, eager to get her away from him, “we meet for a drink at the local. I will need a drink after this,” he suggested.

“Then your place?” she said, her voice rising in excitement.

He gazed deeply into her eyes. “We will see how I feel.” He knew damn well there was no chance of her ever visiting his apartment or bed, but he guessed teasing and fantasies were always thrilling.

She released his tie and jumped of his desk and skipped her way to his office door. “I will see you later, gorgeous…and don’t make me wait.”

“Yes, I remember my father’s line,” he said glancing at her while she winked. She waved and was gone. Of course, he wasn’t going to meet her, but the fact she chased him and fell for it every time was rousing.

Calvin liked the fact he could manipulate her, knowing how much she wanted him.

He would admit he loved living the lifestyle many people dreamed about. Only now, his life had changed so drastically.

Here he was…one fatal discovery had tipped his world upside down. No matter how many times people would preach to him and tell him, it wasn’t his fault, he wouldn’t listen. It was his fault and he had to deal with the consequences.

He carried on walking without a care, and the tears had finally dried up.

Calvin looked up and saw he was close to Ross’s home. He scratched his head and pulled his mobile phone from his jeans pocket to check the time, 2:30 a.m. He had no idea what time he set off from the hospital. He inhaled a deep breath and decided to make the slow journey to Ross’s house and hopefully he would still be awake, but he doubted that. If his best friend was asleep he’d sit in the large porch way of the Georgian property and wait until the morning.

He arrived outside the house, seeing his Range Rover parked in the drive, the very car that took Sophie to the hospital still expecting her little daughter. He filled with sorrow, wondering if Ross had cleaned the car up. He shook his head needing to get over it and find out whether Ross was still awake or not. He looked through the old traditional glass-paned Georgian wooden door. Inside he managed to keep the period features of tiled floor and walls.

Calvin couldn’t see any lights on in the old house, and debated whether to wake him up. He would try once and failing that, sit on the porch and wait.

He knocked on the door. Calvin waited…a few seconds later the landing light switched on. He heard Ross thundering down the old staircase and saw his figure in the glass and heard the click of the key being turned. The door opened. Ross stood before him wearing his pyjama bottoms. His hair fluffed up half asleep.

“Hell, Calvin, you look shocking,” he said opening the door wider.

“Thanks, feel it. Did I wake you?” he asked, inhaling a deep breath.

“No, been tossing and turning worried about you.”

He entered the house and walked down the long hallway and into the fabulous kitchen diner, with all the latest mod-cons, stunning oak fitted kitchen with an island and a six-ring range cooker.

Ross put the kettle on.

“What has happened?”

“Oh hell,” he said, sat on the bar stool at the island, and held his head in his hands, ruffling his hair up. He rubbed his eyes and looked up to his dear friend as he poured himself a glass of water. “Baby is in neonatal unit and Sophie…she is in intensive care. She had to be given a blood transfusion. So pretty shit to be honest. And if I had taken her to the hospital yesterday…sorry day before, then they would have kept an eye on her.”

“Shit…bloody hell, Calvin…so she and the baby are stable?”

Calvin hitched his brows.

“I have no idea, I left. The doctor said if I had taken her in, there might be a chance today wouldn’t have happened.”

“He had no right in saying that. No one knows what would’ve happened to Sophie. I have researched what you told me and it goes two ways, one…yes the hospital could keep a close eye on her…second emergency C-section due to the baby and mother showing signs of distress, which is what happened. He had no right in saying that. How could he speculate such an incident? I am appalled he said that to you. That’s like saying, well, we had two choices to either step out into the road and get crushed by the bus or not, stupid, we all make decisions some right some wrong, that is what life is about. And as for Sophie, she told us both she was fine, and even that isn’t her fault…how was she to know what was happening? Don’t you dare blame yourself for yesterday,” Ross said.

“But I do,” he said, dropping his head back into his hands and twiddling with his hair, feeling like death.

“Look, there is no point in me telling you to keep out of this situation, as you will ignore me. So what I will tell you is you have to remain strong…you have to stand tall, swallow your pride and listen to your heart. You have two choices, one go London and forget all about this…” Calvin lifted his head to glare at his friend. “Which of course I know will ignore. So choice number two, is to remain strong for Sophie and the baby, and be there for her, support her, keep her hopes up and in particular when she wakes she will need your help to keep calm, fight, as she will feel helpless,” Ross told him.

Ross turned around to make the coffee. Calvin thought hard about what Ross had just said and he liked the second part, being there for her, and in that case he would have to stay resilient and guide her.

“So you say yesterday wasn’t my fault?”

“Exactly, no one knows the outcome of today, or tomorrow or next week, it’s about moving on and accepting what has happened and making the most of the future,” Ross said. “Here a drop of brandy in that, you need it.”

“Thanks,” he said, staring at the mug of coffee. “Her parents are with her,” he thought to mention.