Innocence (19 page)

“There’s something I need to know about what we did last night.”
 

He eyed her curiously, and she continued.
 

“What we did. That’s how a woman becomes with child?”

Nathaniel’s head jerked back. “You want a baby?”
 

“No! Of course not. Well, not now, and not like this. I’m unwed . . .
alone
. I wouldn’t know what to do or how to take care of a child.”
 

Nathaniel sighed and drew her against him. “I told you, you’ve nothing to fear. I’ll take care of you.”

“So that means we
are
to have a child?” she mumbled against his chest.

Leaning back, he captured her troubled gaze. “Hopefully not, at least not yet. I wouldn’t mind a babe of yours one day. I’m too selfish to want to share you at the moment, but if it happens . . .”
 

“But the babe would be a
bastard
,” Lisa whispered, horrified. She had heard the word but never spoken it aloud or thought to use it in conjunction with a child of her own.

Nathaniel shrugged. “Do you know how many girls would like a chance to bear a lord’s bastard? It’s a virtual guarantee of security. There are some unscrupulous members of the nobility who neglect their duty to their illegitimate offspring, but you have
nothing to fear. My protection extends to any children we have as much as it guarantees your future and safety. You have my word.”

Stunned by his declaration, it dawned on Lisa how little she knew about the man she had come to love.

“Do you have children already?”

Nathaniel smiled. “Why? You’re not jealous, are you?”
 

Lisa gaped. While she didn’t want to think of Nathaniel with other women, it was the least of her problems. But for the life of her, she couldn’t understand his cavalier attitude towards the possibility of having fathered children out of wedlock.

His smile faded, and he raised a hand to caress her cheek.

“I forget how sheltered you’ve been and can see I’ve shocked you. Don’t worry. I’ve been very careful in the past, as I have no intention of siring children on random women. I’ve never even considered the possibility before meeting you. But I would rather we left parenthood for later,
much
later.”

“One has a choice in the matter?”
 

Nathaniel smiled—at her ignorance, she presumed—and she suppressed a surge of indignation. Getting answers to her questions was more important than defending her lack of knowledge.

“A woman doesn’t necessarily fall pregnant
every
time she lies with a man. It depends on whether or not she is fertile or if precautions are taken.”
 

Lisa nodded, finally understanding to “lie with a man” was a way of saying you had allowed him to join his body with yours, though she wondered if it was possible to make it any more ambiguous. Society seemed determined to keep young women ignorant of important,
life-changing
matters pertaining to their own bodies. While Lisa had a vague understanding of fertility, she had no idea at all what precautions Nathaniel could be referring to.
 

“I
should
have been more careful last night, so there is a chance you could be with child . . . a slight one,” he added when her eyes widened.
 

“To be on the safe side, I’ll show more restraint in future. Once you’re fully recovered from losing your virginity, there are other methods we can utilise, methods a lady doesn’t have at her disposal but are perfectly acceptable for a mistress.”

Lisa opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but he silenced her with a finger to her lips.

“Before that curious mind of yours starts grilling me for explanations, suffice to say I’ll take care of it. Now, can we please get back to the far more pleasurable business of making love rather than discussing the implications?”

His gaze lowered to her breasts, and his hands soon followed. Lisa’s mind continued to spin even as he reawakened her physical senses to the pleasure of his touch. With so much to absorb, and no time to assimilate the new information, she considered asking for a reprieve. But his fingers were working their magic. Then his mouth joined in the onslaught, as he trailed kisses from her ear to her lips. And all the while, he rocked rhythmically against her.

There was only so much resisting a girl could manage.

Whimpering, Lisa squeezed his hips with her thighs. There would be time to make sense of everything she had learned later.

“Lean back on your hands,” Nathaniel whispered against her lips.

She did as he asked, and he arched her back with one hand, lifting her breasts high while his other hand pushed her skirts further up her thighs. Finding the opening in her pantaloons, he delved inside, his fingers teasing the tender flesh between her thighs. When he lowered his head to capture a nipple with his mouth, she gasped. The sound turned into a moan when his fingers slowly entered her, and her body clenched tightly around him.

“You’re so responsive,” he whispered huskily and pulled his hand away. Lisa whimpered at the loss, but then she saw he was undoing his breeches
.
He was in a much greater hurry than he’d been the night before,
not
that she was complaining, but when he released his aroused member, she swallowed hard. It looked quite intimidating in the harsh light of day and even bigger than she recalled.

“Don’t be afraid, darling. I’ll be gentle.”
 

She looked up to meet his reassuring gaze, and there was no denying the tenderness she saw in his eyes. At least she hoped that’s what it was. Her imagination could be reading more into his expression than was there, a case of desperately wishful thinking.
 

Unable to resist, she looked back to where he was about to join their bodies, her eyes widening at the shocking sight of him slowly entering her. They both moaned, and though she was a
little
tender, Lisa wondered if it could possibly feel as good for him to be inside her as it was for her to be filled by him.

“Oh, Nathaniel,” she whispered as he slowly withdrew and then entered her again. His penetrating of her body was a remarkable sight, the sensation beyond anything she could have imagined. She wanted to keep watching, but her eyes fluttered closed, and her head fell back.
 

“Are you in any pain?” he asked hoarsely.

Lisa shook her head, negating the minor discomfort as irrelevant and quite willing to beg for him to continue.
 

“Good.”
 

He increased the pace, and her breath came in quick pants.

“
Very
good,” Lisa agreed. She was shocked by how wonderful it felt to have him moving inside her, shocked, enthralled, and unable to resist giving in to the sensations of her newly awakened body.

Her conscience seemed to have given up for now. She was well aware what they were doing was considered immoral. They weren’t married, joined physically but not in the eyes of God or man, but that no longer seemed relevant. Lisa would never marry now. She loved Nathaniel, had given herself to him fully, and could not conceive of opening her heart—
or body—
to another.
 

When he lowered his head to suckle at her breasts, Lisa could no longer think—only feel.

“
Now
, sweetheart,” he urged after moving rhythmically inside her for a long, lovely while.
 

“Hmm?”

“Like last night. I want to feel you reach your peak.”

Assuming he was referring to the extraordinary pleasure that had overcome her at the culmination of their first bout of lovemaking, Lisa was more than willing to oblige him. She just didn’t know how.
 

“Let me help you,” he said when she admitted as much. Leaning back a little, Nathaniel reached down between their bodies to rub his thumb in a circular motion over the little nub at the top of her sex. Pleasure cascaded through her, and she cried out. He increased the pressure while moving inside her, and her body tightened around him.

“Yes . . . like that.” He let his head fall forward and nuzzled her neck.

This time, when she scaled the extraordinary peak she had discovered for the first time the night before, Lisa had some understanding of what awaited her . . . what her body was capable of. When she finally reached the zenith, she hovered in anticipation for a sweetly aching moment before tumbling over into an ecstasy so intense, she was surprised it didn’t sweep her away. She would have collapsed onto Nathaniel’s desk, but he pulled her against him, his arms holding her close as he continued to move inside her. After her tremors subsided, he groaned loudly and then, to her surprise, suddenly withdrew, placing a cloth between them. Holding her tightly, he reached his own peak, shuddering as Lisa’s body continued to pulse, despite the fact he was no longer inside her.

Breathless, her heart racing, she stayed wrapped in Nathaniel’s arms as her senses gradually calmed. Despite the continued intimacy of their embrace, it didn’t feel the same with all the clothing in the way, and Lisa appreciated anew his insistence they should both be naked the first time they made love. She had preferred it when he’d finished inside her, but she could not risk a child. As to their clothing, they
were
in Nathaniel’s study, not the privacy of her bedchamber.

A brisk knock at the door startled Lisa from her reverie.

“Lords Cahill, McGivern, and Edgeley to see ye, my lord.”
 

Stephens’s announcement was made in a loud voice through the door, shocking Lisa with the reminder he had been close by the entire time.

Nathaniel sighed and lifted his head. “Don’t worry,” he told her before calling out. “Tell them I’ll be with them in a few minutes.”
 

Releasing her, he turned aside to right his clothing. Lisa tugged her skirts down past her knees before moving to the edge of the desk. Panicked at the thought of the gentlemen discovering her in a state of dishabille, she eyed the door to Nathaniel’s suite which she assumed must somehow connect to her own. She was about to make a dash for it, when he caught her around the waist.

“Allow me, my darling.” He lowered her to the floor before kissing her forehead.

“Nathaniel.” She glanced towards the door to the hallway. “They’re right outside!”

“And that’s where they shall stay until I bid them enter,” he said before capturing her mouth in a tender kiss.
 

Trusting his conviction they would not be interrupted, Lisa allowed herself the pleasure of his embrace, a mistake she would not make again.
 

Chapter 16

Assumptions

“Marsden, you sly dog, I knew you were up to something.”

Lisa gasped at the sound of Lord Edgeley’s voice, and clutched the edges of her blouse together. The gentlemen had entered quietly, and
prematurely
, just as she had feared.

“I asked you to
wait
.” Nathaniel ground the words between his teeth, his displeasure unmistakeable.

“We weren’t expecting you to be dallying with one of the maids.” Lord Cahill laughed. “I didn’t believe Hugh when he said you’d ridden into the village, intent on saving the gal’s virtue only to take it for yourself. When I think of the times I’ve had to listen to Uncle pontificate on the proper treatment of the working classes, while you nodded your agreement. A tad hypocritical, if you ask me.”

“Can you blame him?” Lord Edgeley said. “It’s the pretty red-head he was brooding over a while back. Been wondering what happened to her. It would seem your cousin’s had her stashed away for his own private use.”

“Looks like my timing’s perfect then.” Lord Cahill spoke in a cheery tone. “I've decided to take your advice, after all, Nate, and look outside my marriage bed for some entertainment
.
I’ll be more than happy to keep your secret from Uncle as long as you’re willing to share. Or you can let me bed the lovely Miss Brown when you’re finished with her. Either way is fine by me.”

“Count me in,” Lord Edgeley said with obvious enthusiasm.

Lisa began to tremble, and Nathaniel’s grip on her tightened.

“That won’t be happening,” he said.

“Oh, come on. Don’t be prudish.” Lord Edgeley strolled closer. “Remember the fun we had when you boys first came up to Town? I made sure you were initiated into all sorts of debauchery at Madame Bovery’s. We could teach your new plaything some tricks. Set her up to earn some blunt when we’re finished with her.”
 

While Lisa didn’t fully understand his meaning, she knew enough to be afraid,
very
afraid. Her muscles tensed, as she prepared to flee at the first opportunity.
 

“It’s all right,” Nathaniel whispered in her ear and then pushed her behind him, shielding her with his body.

“You’ve both misunderstood,” he said with icy calm. “Lisa is not a ‘plaything,’ and you will not touch her under
any
circumstance.”

Lisa peeked past Nathaniel’s arm, and Lord McGivern sent her an apologetic glance. Lord Edgeley, on the other hand, wore a calculating expression, while Lord Cahill scowled.