Inside Out (7 page)

Finally, when she could breathe normally again, she padded out to the kitchen and grabbed a black coffee. After she took several sips, she tackled the rest of the email.

I told them you’ll be with us for dinner Saturday at six and they’re looking forward to seeing you. Your aunt and uncle aren’t getting any younger. This could be your last chance to see them so I won’t accept any excuses.

Erica’s chest tightened. She muttered under her breath, “Are you serious? Would you invite Satan and God to the same dinner table for a nice family get-together?”

She read and reread her great aunt’s email. Longing to see her Aunt
Georgie
overcame her. The sweetheart was more like the grandmother she’d never known than an aunt. If only she could see
Georgie
without her uncle, she’d accept in a flash.

Unfortunately, her Uncle Bob was a hard man. Although she loved him, he intimidated her. As a kid, he’d frightened her…and she felt like that little kid all over again.

She thought of excuses her mother couldn’t refute and began typing.
I’ll be out of town for the next two weeks. Sorry.

But she’d have to go out of town. Hiding wouldn’t be good enough. Her mother would drive by her house every day to make sure she wasn’t lying. She’d probably call her employer, too, to catch her in a lie. She had too many projects at work to take a last-minute vacation.

She erased the words and typed,
I’m extremely ill. The doctor says I’m contagious and have to be quarantined for the next two weeks. Sorry.

She shook her head and erased the new words. Her mother would don a medical mask and bring over a big pot of chicken soup. If she didn’t find her, she’d call her employer.

After deciding nothing sounded plausible, she typed,
Does
Uncle Bob know about me? He won’t want to see me. Can’t I just see Aunt
Georgie
without him?

After she typed the sentence, Trey’s words haunted her. Her uncle wouldn’t be around forever. She’d be sorry when he was gone.

Of course, she’d be sorry. Would she be sorrier if her last memory was of a man who completely rejected her? At least now, they communicated by mail and the occasional phone call. That was better than nothing. And what if her uncle ordered her aunt to cut off all contact, too?

Not in the mood to discuss this further, she turned off her phone and shut down her email. She grabbed the first computer on top of her pile of repair jobs and immersed herself in work. She turned up her Adam Lambert CD until it filled her head and drowned out her other thoughts.

* * * *

Trey was of two minds as he parked in front of Erica’s house. When Connie had requested his help, he’d thought it a good idea. He himself had told Erica she’d be sorry if she ignored her family—that she had to face them.

But what if he was wrong? What if Erica’s uncle rejected her? Face to face?

His father’s rejection had almost killed him. How he wished he’d tried harder to repair things.

He wasn’t Erica, however, and he pivoted on his heel to turn back and leave. Connie could do her own cajoling.

Just as he was about to climb into his car, Erica rounded the corner from the back of her house and stopped in front of him. “Did I forget you were coming? Are you here for your computer?”

Trey grasped at the excuse.
“Yeah.
I was in the neighbourhood and thought I’d check. Is it ready?”

Erica wiped her hands down her jeans, leaving a brown streak. “No. I told you I’d call when it was done.”

Trey shrugged and backed away. “I know how absentminded you get when you’re busy so I just thought I’d ask. Okay then. I
gotta
go.”

Erica narrowed her eyes and followed him to his car. She crossed her arms over her chest and leant against it. “Is something else on your mind? Is that the only reason you stopped by?”

Feeling trapped, Trey gulped. Despite the heat of the afternoon sun on his head, he felt chilly. “No.
Nothing else.”

Erica thrust her chin out and up.
“Liar. ‘
Fess up. What really brings you here?”

Uneasy to discuss such private things in public, he looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. To his chagrin, two young women strolled by pushing baby strollers. Kids pedalled by on their bicycles. People climbed in and out of cars. “Can we go inside?”

Something flashed across Erica’s eyes he didn’t want to see.
Suspicion?
Caution?
Wariness?
Maybe all of the above.

After several moments, she finally said, “Sure. Come in.”

Unfortunately, he didn’t find the tone of her voice as welcoming as her words. Still debating whether to convey his message, he followed. The house was cool and dim since the curtains were closed and the air conditioning whooshed from the vents.

His blood freezing in his veins, his palms clammy, he remained standing. He pushed his hands deep into his pockets and fidgeted. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything important.”

Erica sauntered to her kitchen sink and ran water from the tap over her hands. Then she dried them on a kitchen towel. “I was just gardening. I planted a couple of banana trees and more flowers. Did you notice how my tomato plants are blooming?”

He hadn’t but nodded anyway. He noted for the first time the inside window boxes brimming over with herbs and wondered if they were new or if he’d missed them his last visit. “You’re becoming quite domesticated.”

“Just nesting like I’ve always wanted to.”

Nesting…
Did that mean Erica wanted to settle down with her own man and raise a family? Did she have a particular man in mind?

A big lump dropped in Trey’s stomach. He looked around for signs of a man but saw none. The house looked quite feminine with soft whites accented by pastel pinks and greens. Lace and ribbon adorned several throw pillows. Doilies sat under several flowering plants.

“So, tell me…why do I have the pleasure of your unexpected visit?”

Trey flinched, knowing it wasn’t going to be at all pleasurable. He’d rather be anywhere than here right now, doing this. He rocked back and forth on his heels, measuring how far his escape route was.

Erica perched on the arm of her white tweed couch. She smiled up at him. “You can sit if you like. I promise not to bite.”

What if I want you to bite?
The unbidden thought caught him unaware and he restrained the growl rising in his throat. The sensation of Eric’s nibbles and nips made him quiver. A sudden intense desire overcame him to take Erica in his arms, to lick and nibble her all over. Instead, however, he took a seat across the room.

Erica frowned. “Can it be that bad? You can talk to me. We’re friends.”

His lips tugged down at the corners, too. Did he really want to be just friends?
Even if he was the one to say it first?
He didn’t like the sound of
friends
in this instance.

“You’re starting to worry me. What is it? Did someone die? Or is somebody hurt?” She wrung her hands in her lap.

He felt like a
schmoe
for worrying her. He leant forwards over his knees.
“Nothing so bad.
I want to talk to you about seeing your uncle.”

She sat ramrod straight and stared at him. Her face paled. “We’ve already been through that.” Then her eyes narrowed. “You know he’s coming for a visit tomorrow, don’t you? Who do I need to muzzle?
Mom or Amber?”

Trey’s annoyance meter shot way up. “It’s not as if it’s a secret. Your
pic
is on your
Facebook
profile for everybody to see.”

She thrust out her chin and said in a thin voice. “My aunt and uncle don’t do
Facebook
.”

“But your cousins do. Wouldn’t they tell him? Or forward him a picture?”

When her expression fell, he felt as if he’d sustained a victory.
A very hollow one, however.
In this case, he’d rather be the loser. Unfortunately, he knew he was right.

“Maybe.
How’d you know my cousins are my friends?”

Trey squirmed. Since they’d reconnected that first night at the ball field a month ago, he couldn’t stop thinking about Erica. He’d been checking out her profile. Now caught, he felt like a stalker. He shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t. But most people are.”

“Liar.”

He met her stare for stare. “That’s twice today you’ve called me a liar. I don’t think I like it.”

“Then don’t lie to me.”

“So? Why don’t you prove you’re not ashamed of yourself and see your uncle tomorrow?”

She hugged herself and stared into space. She rocked back and forth in silence for several long moments.

Just as he was growing very worried, she said in a small voice, “I’m scared. At least he still writes to me so I don’t think he knows. I made Mom and the sibs swear they wouldn’t tell him.”

Trey’s heart broke for her and he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her everything was all right. He longed to make everything perfect. “Did he reject you when you told him you were gay?”

Erica’s eyes watered up.
“At first.
He didn’t talk to me for a year. I think Aunt
Georgie
bullied him into it.”

The idea of Erica’s sweet Aunt
Georgie
bullying anybody made Trey grin. The smile died quickly on his lips when tears slid down Erica’s cheeks.

When Erica choked on a sob and turned away from him, Trey couldn’t take it anymore. He felt like the worst kind of heartbreaker. In one swift motion he stood. In two long strides, he was at Erica’s side. His heart longed to beat against hers. His arms yearned to hold her, to make everything better. He gave into his desires, pulled her up and put his arms around her. “If it helps, I’ll go with you. I won’t let him be mean to you.”

She lifted her face from his chest and looked up at him. Hope dawned in her eyes.

They reminded him of a pastel watercolour painting of a sunrise. His heart melted and before he could help himself, he lowered his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

She slipped her arms around him, curled her fingers over his shoulders and deepened the kiss. She pressed herself closer inviting him to drink deeply of her.

Unable to stop himself, he gave into the temptation and plundered her mouth. Her tears tasted salty. They intoxicated him and he felt the old addiction overtake him. He didn’t just want her—he needed her.
Desperately.

How long the kiss lasted, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t care. He didn’t want it to stop.
Ever.
Eric or Erica, this person’s kisses drugged him. He was a goner. Love, deep and irrevocable, overflowed his heart. He’d do anything for her, even build a nest and face her ogre of an uncle.

When he pulled back for air, he leant his forehead against hers. He searched her eyes hoping to see his love returned or at least longing. The passion and love made him catch his breath. “Baby, don’t cry. I’m here for you.”

She shook her head and tried to pull away. “No, you’re not. Not the way I want you to be. I didn’t mean to do that. You should leave.”

“You didn’t mean to do what? Kiss me?” Trey shovelled his fingers through his hair, not caring if he ruined his spiky do. “Maybe I want you to kiss me. Maybe I want to kiss you.”

Chapter Five

Erica couldn’t take anymore. Between her uncle’s imminent arrival and the heartache that came with it heaped together with Trey’s teasing, hot tears stung her eyes. Annoyed and embarrassed that she was losing it in front of
Trey,
she swiped at them with the back of her hand. “Please leave. I mean it.”

His nostrils flared. His shoulders squared and he planted his feet firmly in her carpet. “I mean it, too. I want to kiss you. I want you to kiss me.”

Her heart shattered. She reeled on him. “Kissing isn’t enough! I want more than just kisses.”

A roguish smile tilted his lips. Passion and promise glowed in his eyes. “I want a lot more than kisses, too.”

As much as she longed for him to sweep her off her feet and carry her to her bedroom and
have
his wicked way, that wasn’t enough. Her heart couldn’t take another one-night stand. Not with him. “I’m not looking for casual sex, so I’m not your woman.”

His thumb caressed her cheek. “What if I want you to be
my woman
? What if I confess my deep, undying love for you? What if I want very
uncasual
, deeply committed sex? For however long we both shall live?
And beyond?”

His touch was almost ephemeral—as if he was afraid she was made of porcelain. Erica couldn’t believe she was hearing this. Her mouth gaped. She must be dreaming. After several seconds, she found her composure enough to ask in a stunned voice, “What exactly are you trying to say?”

Trey closed the gap between them. To her shock, he bent on one knee and captured her hand in his. When their gazes locked, she felt as if she was drowning in his.

“I’m saying
,
I want to be your man, your husband, forever. Will you marry me?”

Her throat constricted. Her heart swelled. Flames licked her fingers then spread like wildfire through her body.

“Well?” Trey asked when she’d been silent a long time. “Will you put me out of my misery and be all
mine
?”

She longed to yell yes and jump into his arms. But had he forgotten about her drinking?
About her lying?
Would he tire of her being a woman? “Can you honestly live with a drunk and a liar?” She took a deep breath, steeled herself and asked, “You can forsake sex with men?”

He gave her a stern glare and squeezed the hand he was holding. Then he kissed it. “I’m monogamous and only want to be with the person I love with all my heart for the rest of my life. That person is
you, Erica.
Tell me now…are you still an alcoholic? You haven’t taken a drink in at least two years, have you?”

Feeling chastised for doubting him and so very thankful for Chantal’s support, for stopping her the day she’d had the urge to down a drink when upset over him, she said with fervent conviction, “No, I don’t drink anymore.”