Authors: Kelly Varesio
Insperatus (43 page)
Traith studied her. Her long, black hair was slicked back and damp from exertion. Her lips were red as roses, and her thin arms were draped over her with perfect elegance. Her one eye still had a wound down it, but it had stopped bleeding and closed.
Her body was limp.
She had brought him back to life. He had been dead…truly dead. She took that death. His only hope was that she could fight it off better than he could. She was stronger; she was a clairvoyant. But then that smoke had infused her body…
The stake. He’d felt that stake. It hit him so hard, and he couldn’t reach it to pull it out. It took a while for him to lose consciousness. But he felt it, pain that inflamed the very skin of his fingertips down to his legs. That stake had hit the very edge of his heart. Not directly, but it was obviously enough.
But there was a chance.
All he could do was watch her, lost in some dark, unwelcoming world, and she was the only one that could free herself of it. Her life was in her own hands at that point. Her body
must
heal the small part of her heart fast enough. And if it couldn’t, she would collapse and die, like he had.
must
heal the small part of her heart fast enough. And if it couldn’t, she would collapse and die, like he had.
But there had to be that chance.
He looked down sorrowfully as he remembered his younger sister, too. It seemed as though everything he treasured was dying. Slipping like sand through his fingers. The worst part was, he knew that his sister still loved him. Somewhere, deep down inside of her. She had refused to hurt him.
Then there was Taverin. She was fine, mending. He hadn’t seen her, yet. He hadn’t left his current spot for three days. He had drunk two vials of blood in that time.
He would never make that mistake again.
He had heard what was going on outside that metal door he was thrown behind with Taverin. He had tried to get up. Tried to push it off. Taverin was screaming for him to wake up. He had been awake, but he was not listening to her. In those last few moments, he was listening to the ghastly sounds outside that door, and he could not go to help her. His fiancée. His lover. He couldn’t move. So much had been going on out there, and then he heard her running. She held him. He felt it. Then things left his sight. Had he died? Helena had told him he had. Rein was so frightened when he awoke.
And then he drank her blood.
He dropped his head and held it tight.
He drank her blood. In one smooth action, he brought her blood to his mouth. And she had seen him do so. He regretted so vehemently not having had a vial the day before. It would have been enough to keep him from going crazy. He’d
never
lost control before. Now he knew that Mistress had been speaking the truth all those years—that if he didn’t drink at least every other day, something like this could happen.
never
lost control before. Now he knew that Mistress had been speaking the truth all those years—that if he didn’t drink at least every other day, something like this could happen.
He held Rein’s hand as he sat in a chair next to her bed, waiting for the flinch or movement that would free him of fear. Then a knock on the door reminded him of where he actually was, and he looked up.
“
Hello, Traith,” the Mistress spoke softly. “How is she?”
Hello, Traith,” the Mistress spoke softly. “How is she?”
“
I don’t know.”
I don’t know.”
She came into the dark room, out of the brightness of the hallway, and sat next to him after closing the door behind her. “I’m so sorry about all of this, Traith. Taverin will heal quickly, as you know.”
“
More than can be said for Rein.”
More than can be said for Rein.”
He put his head in his hands. He had to stay strong. Life would go on, with or without Rein.
No—what the bloody hell am I thinking?
He couldn’t think about life like that. He used everything he had to hold back a tear. Mistress looked into his heart.
“
Why do you choose to blame yourself like this?” she asked. “I know what you are feeling right now, Traith. I know what happened with Ana.”
Why do you choose to blame yourself like this?” she asked. “I know what you are feeling right now, Traith. I know what happened with Ana.”
“
It’s my fault Rein’s in this condition, balancing between life and death. I killed her once. Now it seems I’ve done it again. She…” he choked a moment, and anger overwhelmed him.
It’s my fault Rein’s in this condition, balancing between life and death. I killed her once. Now it seems I’ve done it again. She…” he choked a moment, and anger overwhelmed him.
“
You never killed her, Traith.”
You never killed her, Traith.”
“
But I—” He stopped. He couldn’t tell her what he’d done to Rein. How for a moment, he’d completely lost control. She probably knew, anyway. “She might
die
because of me,” he continued hoarsely. “And I lost my
sister
, Mistress! You couldn’t possibly understand how much I still love her. You can’t imagine the feeling, knowing that even your own family thinks you’re a monster! The only family I’ve got…She’s scared of me, Mistress! My own sister is scared of me, and she might be dead now, as well!” He winced. “I never asked for this.”
But I—” He stopped. He couldn’t tell her what he’d done to Rein. How for a moment, he’d completely lost control. She probably knew, anyway. “She might
die
because of me,” he continued hoarsely. “And I lost my
sister
, Mistress! You couldn’t possibly understand how much I still love her. You can’t imagine the feeling, knowing that even your own family thinks you’re a monster! The only family I’ve got…She’s scared of me, Mistress! My own sister is scared of me, and she might be dead now, as well!” He winced. “I never asked for this.”
Mistress touched his face gently. “You are not evil, Harker, and it is not your fault. You couldn’t have prevented what happened to you. You are not a monster. And your sister chose not to harm you. As for Rein’s actions…Traith, you were…” she paused a moment. “Dead.”
He looked up at her, wearing a look of discontentment.
“
You had been lying on cold, hard ground for too long with that stake in you. The only way Rein could’ve saved you was by doing what she did.”
You had been lying on cold, hard ground for too long with that stake in you. The only way Rein could’ve saved you was by doing what she did.”
“
But now she might die,” he said quietly. “And Ana might be dead also. She preferred to die rather than come with me. It’s as if I have done something to her, but I don’t even know if I have because I can’t remember!”
But now she might die,” he said quietly. “And Ana might be dead also. She preferred to die rather than come with me. It’s as if I have done something to her, but I don’t even know if I have because I can’t remember!”
“
Come, Traith. Come see Taverin.”
Come, Traith. Come see Taverin.”
He looked up at her after putting his head in his hands again. “I can’t. Not right now. Taverin will heal. Rein might not. I just…I
did
this to her.”
did
this to her.”
“
Traith, it is all over and done with,” Mistress said. “There is nothing more you can do about this. I’ll leave you, now,” the Mistress said quietly as she stood up. “But you fought bravely, Harker. No other leader could have a First Hand as noble or as loyal as you.” She stopped when she reached the doorway. “Remember something, though. There is a possibility that Rein has the ability to heal much faster than you.” At that, she left the room.
Traith, it is all over and done with,” Mistress said. “There is nothing more you can do about this. I’ll leave you, now,” the Mistress said quietly as she stood up. “But you fought bravely, Harker. No other leader could have a First Hand as noble or as loyal as you.” She stopped when she reached the doorway. “Remember something, though. There is a possibility that Rein has the ability to heal much faster than you.” At that, she left the room.
He put his head on Rein’s hand. A single tear trickled down his cheek and onto her hand. He panted silently into her palm in anger and pain, cringing in fury, nearly crying with it.
Then it happened. He felt that flinch. The movement he had wanted. His head shot up.
The gash down her eye slowly vanished.
She was healing.
“
Dear God,” he murmured with a large smile, watching as the horrible slice wound disappeared and left no scar behind on her beautiful face.
Dear God,” he murmured with a large smile, watching as the horrible slice wound disappeared and left no scar behind on her beautiful face.
She smiled weakly back, eyes still closed, and held out her hand. He stood then and gently embraced her weak body.
“
Rein…” He held her with such tenderness, relief filling him more than ever.
Rein…” He held her with such tenderness, relief filling him more than ever.
“
It worked,” she rasped. She seemed quietly excited. “You’re all right?”
It worked,” she rasped. She seemed quietly excited. “You’re all right?”
“
I’m fine, Rein,” he choked. “You almost…You shouldn’t have…” He held her tighter. “Why did you do that, Rein?”
I’m fine, Rein,” he choked. “You almost…You shouldn’t have…” He held her tighter. “Why did you do that, Rein?”
He laid her down and stood over her with unbearable contentment.
“
I couldn’t let you die, Traith,” she said, her voice becoming less of a whisper.
I couldn’t let you die, Traith,” she said, her voice becoming less of a whisper.
“
And you wanted me to live and watch it happen to you? All over again?”
And you wanted me to live and watch it happen to you? All over again?”
She said his name gently and held his face in her hand. “I had a better chance of surviving, I knew.” She tried to sit up. She grabbed her chest a moment and then slowly let go.
“
Ana…she told me…”
Ana…she told me…”
“
Ana talked to you?” he asked intensely.
Ana talked to you?” he asked intensely.
“
You lost control, didn’t you?” she murmured, her eyes sad for him.
You lost control, didn’t you?” she murmured, her eyes sad for him.
His heart sank, and he felt ill as if he had no breath with which to speak. “I’m sorry,” was all he could manage to say.
She tilted her head and smiled warmly. “I heard you the first time,” she said. “I knew it wasn’t you…just like it couldn’t have been you
then
…”
then
…”
He felt so mortified that he wanted to thrust a stake into himself, but he was also confused. What was she talking about? He’d find out later when she was stronger; the revolting thing he’d done to his fiancée clouded his mind. How could she brush it off so easily? There was no reason for his actions. No bloody reason to drink her blood again.
“
But you made up for it and took care of me like I knew you would,” she said with a crooked smile.
But you made up for it and took care of me like I knew you would,” she said with a crooked smile.
He didn’t reply. His head was down, and his fists were locked. “God Rein—I made up for nothing.”
“
Please, Traith, I know what you felt,” she murmured. “Don’t be angry, please…I forgive you.”
Please, Traith, I know what you felt,” she murmured. “Don’t be angry, please…I forgive you.”
He met her eyes and could only be thankful.
“
I love you,” she said slowly, closing her eyes.
I love you,” she said slowly, closing her eyes.
He could hardly bear to hear those words from her because of the repeating thought of what he had done to her. It was so hard to get past, but at the same time, he almost wanted to cry for happiness.
“
I love you, too,” he said hoarsely.
I love you, too,” he said hoarsely.
She would live.
Chapter 65
After quietly leaving the room, Traith squinted in the intense brightness of the hallway. A few yards down to his left was the room where Taverin was recovering. She had been up and lucid the past few nights, but he had not moved from the seat next to Rein.
He peered through the door and quietly leant on the frame, watching her as she read her book, cozy and warm under her blanket.
Her left eye was swollen, and she had bandages on her arm and waist.
She looked over at him and smiled brightly. “Traith! Traith, you’re all right!”
“
How are
you
? Are you in any pain?”
How are
you
? Are you in any pain?”
“
I am a little. But it’s nothing I can’t walk on.” She paused. “How’s Rein? Is she all right? D-Did she wake up yet? You’re smiling…”
I am a little. But it’s nothing I can’t walk on.” She paused. “How’s Rein? Is she all right? D-Did she wake up yet? You’re smiling…”
“
Yes. She’ll be fine,” he murmured in pleasure.
Yes. She’ll be fine,” he murmured in pleasure.
“
Oh, thank goodness! That’s wonderful!” Taverin paused and looked apprehensively at Traith. “Did we beat them? I blacked out, and I don’t remember much. Just that you were dead.” Her temperament changed with a sudden chill. “Traith, they put me there with you alone when you were really dying. You tried to speak to me once—”
Oh, thank goodness! That’s wonderful!” Taverin paused and looked apprehensively at Traith. “Did we beat them? I blacked out, and I don’t remember much. Just that you were dead.” Her temperament changed with a sudden chill. “Traith, they put me there with you alone when you were really dying. You tried to speak to me once—”
“
I did?”
I did?”
She started to get flustered, and her eyes glazed as she recalled that night. “Yes…you were
choking
on your own blood. You couldn’t really talk, but you tried so hard to!”
choking
on your own blood. You couldn’t really talk, but you tried so hard to!”
“
I don’t remember.”
I don’t remember.”
“
Traith, it was the most frightening thing I ever saw in my entire life! You were dead after a few minutes, but before you were…Traith, you grasped my hand, but you couldn’t talk over the blood that flooded your mouth! Then you didn’t move at all. And Rein…then her chest started pouring out blood as if it were a tilted bucket of water, and then your chest was—”
Traith, it was the most frightening thing I ever saw in my entire life! You were dead after a few minutes, but before you were…Traith, you grasped my hand, but you couldn’t talk over the blood that flooded your mouth! Then you didn’t move at all. And Rein…then her chest started pouring out blood as if it were a tilted bucket of water, and then your chest was—”
“
Taverin.” He walked over to her bedside, stopping her panicky talk, and she began bawling with fright, holding onto his hand and holding it up to her cheek.
Taverin.” He walked over to her bedside, stopping her panicky talk, and she began bawling with fright, holding onto his hand and holding it up to her cheek.
“
Don’t think about it now. It’s over, and we won,” he said. “And we’re all here.”
Don’t think about it now. It’s over, and we won,” he said. “And we’re all here.”
She took a few deep breaths and looked at Traith’s face, staring at his eyes.
“
What is it?” he asked quietly.
What is it?” he asked quietly.
She let go of him. “I’m just studying you,” she answered him back.
He laughed a little in surprise. “Oh?”
“
By the way, when are we allowed to go home?”
By the way, when are we allowed to go home?”
“
When we want to, I assume. I’m fine; I’ve been fine. You and Rein were the ones who needed the healing. I’m not sure you can leave yet, although you seem healed, but I must go home to tend to a man with a rapidly deteriorating mind.”
When we want to, I assume. I’m fine; I’ve been fine. You and Rein were the ones who needed the healing. I’m not sure you can leave yet, although you seem healed, but I must go home to tend to a man with a rapidly deteriorating mind.”
A nurse walked in and smiled at him as she switched some pillows on the bed. “Hello, Harker,” she said.
He nodded, only partially acknowledging her.
“
You two can leave whenever you like—Mistress’ authorization. Rein must stay awhile, though, because she can’t yet walk. As soon as she’s capable, we’ll send her down. Oh, and by the way,” she changed her tone. “Mistress would like to see you both. She’s in the main lobby.” The nurse hesitated, and Traith felt her stare hard at him. “Traith, I see you have a new accessory!” she exclaimed.
You two can leave whenever you like—Mistress’ authorization. Rein must stay awhile, though, because she can’t yet walk. As soon as she’s capable, we’ll send her down. Oh, and by the way,” she changed her tone. “Mistress would like to see you both. She’s in the main lobby.” The nurse hesitated, and Traith felt her stare hard at him. “Traith, I see you have a new accessory!” she exclaimed.
He flinched. “What?” He looked at Taverin.
“
The scar on your eye, yes. On your left side? Oh, never mind.”
The scar on your eye, yes. On your left side? Oh, never mind.”
The nurse smiled kindly and winked at him.
Scar
…It’d gone back to him? The gash had gone back to him as a scar as Rein healed. Since she didn’t have the scar, he did.
How the hell did that happen?
…It’d gone back to him? The gash had gone back to him as a scar as Rein healed. Since she didn’t have the scar, he did.
How the hell did that happen?
Traith nodded once more, dazed, partially ignoring the nurse. “Is that why you were examining me?” he asked Taverin. “Is it bad?”
Taverin shook her head, hesitantly choosing her words. “Well, yes, in a way. It’s not disfiguring, just long and a little jagged down your left eye. I’m sure you’d be able to feel it.”
He didn’t know whether to react angrily or ironically at ease as his fingers brushed over the long, lifted scar now down the side of his face.
Other books
Illumine Her by A.M., Sieni
The Chef by Martin Suter
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
For I Could Lift My Finger and Black Out the Sun by Soares, Keith
Innocence Taken by Janet Durbin
The Worry Web Site by Jacqueline Wilson
Lethal Outlook: A Psychic Eye Mystery by Victoria Laurie
A Season for the Heart by Chater, Elizabeth
A Problem From Hell: America and the Age of Genocide by Samantha Power
Train's Clash (The Last Riders Book 9) by Jamie Begley