Island Christmas (11 page)

“I wasn’t an addict or alcoholic, but I knew how to party. It was good that Jason had asked me to come find the ring for him, because it got me away from my old friends and their influence. I was away long enough that they forgot about me, and no one bothered me once I went home to live with my parents. In spite of evidence to the contrary, I’m not a stupid person. I knew what I was doing to myself, and I didn’t care, but I could
not
do that to my child, whether I kept him or not.”

“That’s right. I remember you weren’t sure what you were going to do with your baby. Any regrets?”

“Not even one. I love Jason more than anything in the world. I would have hated myself if I’d given him up. Not that adoption is a bad thing, but it would have torn me up inside. Once I realized my parents would support me and help me get on my feet, I knew I would keep him. The money from the ring helped to partially finance culinary school, and my parents gave us a home rent free until I could save up enough to get Jason and me a place of our own.”

“I’m proud of you, Rachel, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over your past. The people at church don’t need to know how you used to be, and even if they find out, I don’t see that they’d have an issue with you. It’s no one’s business—I happen to know there are people at church who have their own pasts they deal with. I hope you will continue to come to church and learn about the Lord. I have a Bible I’d like to give you. I think the people written about in there will surprise you. They are not only imperfect, but several of them did some pretty rotten stuff, and you know what? God loved them anyway.”

Way to go, Zoe
. Guilt pressed in on him for eavesdropping. He shouldn’t have paid attention to what they were saying, even though he’d been compelled to know why Rachel said she was messed up. He wrapped the remainder of his sandwich and tossed it into the garbage can. He didn’t want to be caught sitting here if Rachel left the kitchen.

One thing was certain though, he had some soul searching and praying to do. He’d thought that the only thing between him and Rachel was her not being a Christian, but her past was now an issue as well.

It wasn’t fair of him to hold her past against her, but what if she had an STD or what if she relapsed and went back to her old ways? He shook his head, working to shove the thought away. If the Lord should bless him with a relationship with Rachel then it would mean she belonged to Him and she was redeemed.

What she did in her old life wouldn’t matter because she would have a new beginning. God would forgive her, and who was he to judge? It wasn’t like he was perfect. Sure he’d never felt the desire to party or do the things Rachel had, but he was far from perfect.
What do I do, Lord?

A peace washed over him. He didn’t have to decide now. All he had to do was trust.

Rachel snuggled into the
arm of the couch late Sunday evening with Zoe’s Bible cradled in her hands. Zoe had marked several spots she thought she should read. The story about King David mesmerized her. The man was a scoundrel, and his actions did not come without consequences, but God loved him anyway. Astounding. Maybe He could love her, too. But she felt that David was special. Surely God didn’t love everyone who messed up like that. She’d have to keep reading to find out, but it was getting late.

A moan from Jason’s room drew her attention. Before she tucked him into bed, he’d complained that his tummy hurt. Had it gotten worse? She hurried into his room and placed a hand on his forehead. Worry turned her stomach. His skin was warm to the touch.

Chris awakened to the sound of
his cell phone buzzing. He rolled over and pulled it off the nightstand. “Hello.” He cleared his gravelly voice.

“Chris, it’s Rachel. I can’t get hold of Nick, and there’s something wrong with Jason.”

He shot out of bed. “What’s wrong with Jason?”

“I’m not sure. He has a bad stomachache, and his belly is swollen.”

His mind shot to the past. His brother had had similar symptoms and had died from a ruptured appendix. He glanced at the clock—three in the morning. “Does he have a fever?”

“I didn’t take it, but he feels hot. Hold on a minute.” Her voice wobbled.

His pulse thrummed in his ears. Should he wake Nick or tell Rachel to take her son to the hospital? He didn’t want her to have another hospital bill if it turned out to be a stomachache and trapped gas.

“It’s one hundred and one.”

He ran a hand through the hair at the base of his neck. “Don’t freak out, Rachel, but it sounds like appendicitis to me.” He didn’t want to tell her about his little brother or she would lose it for sure.

“Will you get Nick please?” She sounded like she was crying.

“On my way.” He threw open his door and raced down the stairs. He pounded on Nick’s apartment door.

A moment later it opened. Nick stood there looking tousled, but alert. “What’s wrong?”

“Rachel needs to talk with you.” He thrust his cell phone at Nick and took a step back.

“No. The ferry doesn’t run this early. Your only option is Wildflower Hospital. I’ll meet you there.” He tossed the phone to Chris. “Thanks.”

“Do you think it’s appendicitis?”

Nick nodded before closing the door.

Now what? He couldn’t go back to sleep knowing that Rachel’s son was in trouble. He showered and dressed. The walls of his room felt like they were closing in, but going to the hospital right now would be futile. Rachel and Jason would be in an exam room or having tests run. He’d be pacing the hospital waiting room alone.

Lord, please don’t let Jason die.

Memories of the day his little brother died flooded his mind—the worst day of his life. If only Rick had said something, maybe they could have gotten him help in time. But his little brother was stoic and had rarely complained about anything, much less not feeling well.

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. Pacing the hospital waiting room had to be better than this. As he drove to the hospital it struck him—Rachel’s past, though painful, should not and would not come between them. Life and death situations had a way of bringing clarity. He knew without a shadow of doubt that Rachel’s past didn’t matter to him anymore. She wasn’t the person she used to be.

He pulled into the nearly empty parking lot and raced inside, hoping he’d delayed enough to give Nick or whoever time to determine exactly what was wrong with Jason. Who would have thought a three-year-old would spend so much time as an emergency patient? They were all becoming too familiar with the facility.

A vending machine that distributed coffee, tea, and hot chocolate stood near the entrance. He slid in the exact amount of money and purchased a hot chocolate and a coffee, unsure which one Rachel would want, then went to the reception desk. “Excuse me, I’m looking for Rachel and Jason Narrelli.” Just then Rachel walked into the waiting room from the direction of the exam area. She looked ready to drop. He rushed to her side. “Coffee or hot chocolate?”

“Coffee. Thanks.” She sipped it and made a face. “It’s awful.”

He gently took the coffee from her hand and gave her the other option. “How’s Jason?”

“They did an ultrasound.” Her voice hitched. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “His appendix hasn’t burst, but they must do emergency surgery. They are sedating him and prepping him for surgery.”

“They do that kind of thing here on a child?” His brother had been taken to a children’s hospital because they needed the right sized equipment.

She nodded. “Apparently, after a child died because they didn’t have the proper equipment to treat him, Nick convinced the hospital board that they should be more prepared for young children. The ferry hours make transportation to a pediatric hospital impossible from ten P.M. to six A.M. This place actually has a tiny pediatric wing.”

“That’s amazing. Nick’s foresight might have saved your son’s life.” He guided her to a set of nearby seats.

She paled. “I hadn’t thought about the possibility of him dying.” Her hands shook so badly he was afraid she’d drop the cup.

He carefully took the cup from her and placed it on the floor. “Jason is in good hands.”

She looked at him with haunted eyes. “He’s all I have. What if they don’t get to it in time, and his appendix ruptures?”

He draped an arm across her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “Don’t think like that. Many people have survived even a ruptured appendix.”

“Right. Positive thoughts—like that will do any good.”

He had to agree with her. Positive thoughts wouldn’t affect the outcome of the surgery, but one thing would. “May I pray with you for Jason?”

Her eyes teared up, and she nodded. He bowed his head. “Lord, Jason needs Your help. Please guide the surgeon and help him take care of Jason. And Lord, please comfort Jason and give him Your peace. I also ask for Your comfort and peace for his mom. Thanks. Amen.” He dropped his arm from her shoulder and sat back. Jason had to be okay. He just had to be. He couldn’t die like Rick had.

Chris gazed around the pleasant looking waiting room decorated in earth tones. A huge fish tank with several colorful fish hummed nearby. A fake Christmas tree stood in one corner and garlands with colored lights decorated the reception desk. Funny, he hadn’t noticed any of that when he’d first come in. As a rule he hated hospitals, but this one had gone to great lengths to make the place appear pleasant.

Rachel bent and picked up her cup. “Thanks for praying.” She sipped the sweet beverage. “May I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Were you pre-med in college?”

He chuckled. “No. I’m a computer geek through and through. Why do you ask?”

“You knew exactly what was wrong with Jason. How?”

“Oh.” He didn’t want to go there. She didn’t need to hear about Rick, but she deserved an honest answer. “My little brother’s appendix burst when he was thirteen. My parents were out of state. They travelled a lot for business. My big sister was eighteen, and they left her in charge. Rick was a tough kid, never one to complain or make a big deal about not feeling well. We had no idea there was anything wrong with him until after it burst.” He took a shaky breath. “You sure you want to hear this?”

“Not really, but I think I should.”

He sighed. “They operated on him to clean out the bacteria the best they could, but it wasn’t enough. Rick fought for his life for a few days, but none of the antibiotics worked. Mom and Dad rushed home. They were devastated, and I could tell they blamed my sister and me. My family was never the same after that.”

“No offense, but your parents are stupid. They still had two kids who needed them. There is no way you or your sister should have been blamed.”

His head whipped toward her. “They were angry and guilt ridden because they weren’t there when Rick needed them. My mom still is sometimes. Dad died a year later from a massive heart attack.” He shrugged.

Rachel gasped. “I’m so sorry, Chris. My words were very insensitive.”

He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “They were right to blame us. We were the older siblings and should have noticed something was wrong.”

“But you said yourself, he never let on. Plus you were kids yourself. You can’t carry that burden.”

“But if we were paying attention, we would have noticed that something wasn’t right with him.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Jason didn’t seem all that sick to me when I tucked him into bed tonight. If I hadn’t stayed up late reading I may not have noticed he’d gotten worse until morning. ” She rested her other hand over his.

He nodded, unable to find his voice. He’d give about anything to get that week back and do things differently. He sipped the coffee she said was awful. “You weren’t kidding. This stuff is bad. I’m going to get something else. The general store is open by now. Would you like anything?”

She pulled out her wallet and handed him a ten. “Would you get me a large coffee and a bagel with cream cheese?”

“Sure. Keep your money. I’ve got this.”

She shook her head. “Please take it.” The look in her eyes said she needed him to take it. She needed to be in control of something, even if it was only paying for her breakfast. He understood that feeling.

“I’ll be back soon. Will you be okay?”

She nodded.

He stood and strode toward the sliding doors. Light snow fell, leaving a thin coating on the ground. He groaned. At least it hadn’t accumulated yet. He’d be able to get to the store and back with no problem.

Rachel sat in the
waiting room, her stomach in knots. The bagel she asked for would probably go uneaten. Chris’s prayer for her son touched her deeply. She admired his strong faith and wished for the same.

After what happened to his brother and then his dad, one would think it would be hard to blindly trust a God who’d allowed such bad things to happen to his family, but who was she to judge? She knew little to nothing about God’s ways, and from what she’d read so far, He didn’t operate the way she expected.

She’d read a lot about King David the night before, and one thing bugged her. God had caused David’s child to die because of what he had done. Would God take Jason because of her past? She didn’t want anything to do with Him if He did. She crossed her arms and set her jaw.

I love you—and Jason.

Warmth and peace flowed through her. Where had that thought come from?

“Any word yet?”

She startled and looked up as Chris walked toward her with a cup tray and a sack. She shook her head.

He plopped down beside her. “This coffee smells incredible.”

She took the cup he offered and sipped. “That’s because it is. Thank you for getting it.” She noted snowflakes on his jacket. “It’s snowing?” She’d been sitting with her back to the window.

“Yes. It’s a winter wonderland out there. But I don’t think much more will fall. It appears to be clearing up.”

“Good.” Fear gripped her. She’d made a lot of mistakes. Would God really make her son pay for her poor choices? “Zoe gave me a Bible yesterday, and I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Will God let my son die because of my mistakes?” Her voice caught in a sob.