Authors: Marien Dore
“Oh, his parents must have killed you both.”
“Well, we did it because we had faith we would get away with it. When his parents got home, we just smiled innocently up at them… as if we expected praise. As if they should be proud of us for helping them with a chore. I remember their faces when they walked through the door. We did everything to not start laughing, it was priceless!” he laughed at the fun memory. His eyes flicking from the fire to me, it was like he was reliving the memory. “We asked if they liked what we did. We even had the guts to ask for a couple bucks for all our hard work. Brad’s dad was furious while his mother thought the gesture was precious! In the end, his mother said it was very nice but next time, we should ask before doing something like that. She ended up paying us five dollars each too!”
By the end, Mr. Rush was shaking with quivers of laughter and so was I. It seemed so unlike him, to be this open and carefree! It was wonderful to not only see that but to also get a peek at that rebellious side of him too.
He went on after a minute. “When I wasn’t with Brad, I was at home spending time with my family when they weren’t working. My mom and I would have fun doing things occasionally. By the time, I entered my teen years, Brad and I found more friends and had more fun. We threw parties at his house because his mother went easy on him the few times she found out. We were like any other teenagers, trying to find ourselves and have fun. We took our parents car out at night when we were fifteen, included beer at the parties at sixteen, and had girlfriends on our arms by the time we were both seventeen.”
I couldn’t help my smile from spreading wide across my lips despite the chill in the air. I loved hearing all this about his past. “Now that is awesome,” I chuckled.
“It was! Plus, we both did well in school. I wouldn’t go so far to say we were exactly dedicated to school, but we respected our teachers and did our work. By the time we graduated though and went to college, we rarely saw each other. We were stuck doing our own thing and grew apart. I went on to become a teacher, and he became a police officer,” he said, shrugging.
I never would have guessed. I always thought Mr. Rush was the kind of guy who would have been strict with himself. Getting good grades, living under his parents’ rules, and having a serious mindset the whole time. He sounded extremely fun and carefree when he was younger! “You guys started doing your own thing? What do you mean?”
His smile dimmed slightly as he spoke through the chilly air. “His job consumed all of his time, and he became more involved with getting his life going. I was busy concentrating on teaching. Then when I met Jill, she took all my time. We never had an issue with each other, but we haven’t talked in a really long time.” He pursed his lips in thought. “I do know he was seeing this very sweet girl. I don’t know if he ever settled down or got serious with her. He always was such a sweet guy, talking about his future and how he would make a great husband and father.”
“What about you? Were you always looking for that kind of future?”
He looked at me hard. “Before when I was younger, I was more concerned with just having fun and trying to find a nice girl. I want that future now, though.” He paused and looked away slightly. “With Jill, that can happen.”
I said nothing to that. Gave no input because it was pointless. Did I want to call him out and say that last part was him lying to himself? Sure. But I think I spoke enough of my mind for one day.
“Do you want that?” he asked me a moment later.
“Want a future with a husband and kids? Probably. I don’t think I am ready to make that decision yet, though. I need to get over all that happened first. I am going to need to be very cautious too.” It was sad for me to say those things. I wanted that, but that didn’t mean it was possible since my future was controlled by my father. He didn’t need to hear that part.
“What do you mean?”
I hesitated but went ahead and answered anyway. “Up until that happened with my mother, it was clear my mom and dad loved each other. At the same time, it could get ugly. My dad one minute was so caring and loving, the next he acted crazy. It made me realize just how unpredictable people can be. He went from loving me to threatening me, hurting me, and laughing about it. It was shocking and still is. How could they have done that? It allowed my trust in almost everything to die especially when it came to people. I don’t want to make a mistake and trust someone who could do that. I don’t know if I will ever find that guy that I can trust like that. That’s why I said I will have to be extremely cautious.”
When I finished speaking, my eyebrows dipped. I stared at the one guy that could maybe be an exception. I didn’t know him, wasn’t sure about him either, but the longer we spent together, the more I felt he was someone I could trust. He made me feel safe, protected, cared for and it made me want him more. Then again, that was how my mom felt before too with my dad….
I yawned even though I tried to hold it in. “Tired?” he asked before I could even finish yawning.
Come on, this was supposed to make him tired, not me! How was I supposed to hide my nervousness from him over something so stupid?
That’s all I could think as I shook my head in answer but he finally brought it up. “I am right here for you, okay?” he said softly, his visible breath moving faster in the cold air.
I sighed. “I know that. I just don’t feel like going to sleep yet.” Oh, right, I’m sure that was convincing.
“You can’t lie to me anymore.” He laid his hand over mine, warming it in addition to the hotness the fire was giving me. Wedging his hand into my palm, he grasped my hand tightly. It assisted in calming our chattering teeth that were possessed by the cold. “I am right here for you. I promise I will wake you if I hear you’re having another bad dream.”
Reassuring me helped but it wasn’t like he experienced what I had last night. Yet, what else could I do? I had to sleep sometime. I nodded, laying back and letting go of his hand. “Thank you,” I whispered, facing him as he also slid down a few feet away.
Soon, we were both drifting off despite how cold it was. I guess an exhausting day helped otherwise it would have taken forever with how chilly the air was. Not only that, but I didn’t dream that night either! Of course, it was too good to be true.
The nothingness disappeared, and I was pulled from my sleep. Mr. Rush was leaning over me, shaking my arms. “What happened? Was I dreaming and woke you?” I asked though I didn’t remember any dream. Staring up at where he was, it was so dark I could hardly make him out.
“No,” came his voice quickly. Along with that, there was another noise as well as a strange feeling over my body. “We need to move!” He stood and pulled me up, lifting me until I was standing with him.
“What?” I groggily asked. I noticed my body was freezing. The fire was out, but a crackling remained. The crackling noise of water hitting leaves. It was raining.
Mr. Rush pulled me along with him and next thing I know, we are jogging. It made me nervous considering he was towing me in the dark, through the trees and wet grass. The moonlight showed itself more as we moved at least. It allowed me to see his face after we came out from under the shadows.
“What are we doing?!” I yelled to him as the rain picked up harder, drenching us.
“We need to stay dry.” He stopped and pulled me over to a large tree he spotted. The branches expanded further out than usual on a tree. Plus, many of those branches were only a few feet above us. It was good cover.
He crouched down, huddling against the tree trunk that was guarded by the shielding branches. He pulled me down with him, holding me against him and the tree, trying hard to avoid the freezing air and rain, which did help a bit. We were not getting soaked like before, but we still were getting a little drizzle. It didn’t matter much since we were still wet and cold.
Though dark like before, I could still make out his face with how close I was. I could see that his teeth were clashing together like mine were. His hair was dripping with water down to his chest, which shook with the rest of his body. His hands moved up to cover his mouth, trying to keep his hands warm.
“Do you th-th-think we should save some of this?” I asked him. Though freezing, I was forcing myself to lick up the water around my mouth.
“Not w-worth it. Too c-c-cold.”
“A-Are we going to be okay?” I asked over the rain. I didn’t need to yell anymore at least.
He shifted slightly and looked at me with wide awake eyes. He looked around, but we couldn’t see farther than our own faces. “I don’t kn-know,” he answered honestly. I knew we should not be this cold, especially with how wet we were. At least we were out of the rain I guess.
He moved his hands down to his knees where he drew them up to his chest. I did the same. We both shivered with the little protection we had. It didn’t help much. Soon, we realized there was no point keeping ourselves pressed against the tree. We weren’t warming ourselves up enough. That’s why with our gasping and shivering breaths, we sagged down from our leaning positions to the grass where we laid down on our sides.
My eyes grew as they focused on his face. I could make out that he was pale with a tint of blue to his skin. He looked numb!
“M-Mr. R-R-Rush. Y-You are b-blue,” I stuttered.
“S-S-So are you.”
His breath brushed over my face and warmed my skin for a second. It was enough to make me inch closer until he was forced to breathe straight in my face. I closed my eyes as I took in the slight warmth that made me exhale in relief. Opening my eyes, seeing him grow, he noticed my reason for coming closer. I moved my hand up to his chest, which made me want to melt. It felt like my hand was warming! It made me softly moan. It also made me inch even closer, sliding both hands up and down his chest, taking that warmth greedily without thinking.
I knew who this was. He was my teacher, someone I was stuck here with, and someone I came to care for. He was also a wonderful source of heat. That seemed to matter the most at the moment.
Mr. Rush’s eyes became unreadable. “W-What are you d-doing?” he asked, sounding stunned.
“Y-You’re warm,” was all I attempted to say.
It was obvious he wanted to fight me on this, but he ended up wrapping his hands around my back, careful of my healing cut. He pulled me the rest of the way to him, his hands resting on my lower back and sliding up and down. It created a path of warm friction that was pure relief from the cold – for both him and me. I didn’t think it would do anything since we were both wet and cold but it did.
I slid my hands under his arms to his back and held myself against his heavenly skin. It gave me more ideas like to rest my head against his chest, which I did. My breath brushed the wet curly hairs there, and it made him moan with the warmth I offered him. I moaned in return when he tilted his head to press his cheek to my forehead.
The warmth turned into an addiction. Even though we were wet, and some rain was still getting to us, this was helping a lot. It pushed me to slide my hands down to his sides. His hand moved up and down my back, his other moving to my neck where he pressed my face even closer to him.
It was such a fantastic feeling to take in. One that led to us continuing to do that for a while. We ran our hands all over each other as we laid there. Each touch was a new source of warmth. It got even better when he wrapped my legs around his.
I wasn’t sure what we were doing. Surely, we would live without needing to do this, right? It was freezing terribly, and this was helping. I won’t lie, though. It’s not like I hated this either. I loved how close we were. He felt warm, caring, and wonderful. It made me feel slightly bad for even thinking about that while we were so cold. Even more so because I imagine his focus was only on the heat.
It got to the point where I was sliding as close to him as I possibly could. My chest was pressed against his, rubbing up and down as his hands traced down my sides. It wasn’t enough when we both craved more heat. That’s why I ended up pushing him to his back so I was over him, our bodies still wrapped against each other. Even through the dark, I could see his eyes grow wider with the feeling I wouldn’t bother deciphering now. I just pulled myself down and as close as I could, my head resting under his chin.
My breath was rapid for more reasons than one now. It was clear we were both starting to warm up. He leaned up and breathed into my face, making me want to move closer. He was just so flipping warm and felt so good… He could feel it too and knew how warm this made me. As he was rubbing my neck softly with his fingers, he drew my forehead against his. He breathed out again, and his warm breath flew over my face, warming me more. I exhaled too, doing the same for him as our hands stayed moving.
Our bodies were warming slowly but surely, especially his since I was shielding him from the chilly air. He seemed to notice too when he sat me up slightly. Moving over me when he rested my back to the ground, he pressed himself against me now. Our hands moving, his breath spreading more over my face, we were moaning more as we became warmer and warmer… to the point where the cold wasn’t bothering me nearly as much.
He let his weight go, resting completely on me to cover me. His head resting on my chest, he breathed against my neck before moving down to breathe up and down my stomach.
“Are you warm?” he asked in a strange squeaky voice when he moved back up and stared down at me.
“Yeah,” I said in a slight daze, searching his wide eyes.
He rested his head on my chest while his fingers worked on my skin for heat. I did the same along his back. His touch sent sparks over me as we laid there, and it pushed me closer to sleep.
We were warm and knew it would stay that way until morning. His body over mine would keep me perfectly fine. I was worried about him, but I could feel he was warmer too. We fell asleep like that, his head on my chest and my fingers resting on his back.
So… we had two very weird nights in a row.
I was pressed up against him, my back to his chest. Though my eyes remained closed after waking, I could tell we were laying on our sides. I could feel his breath brush my neck slightly. I could feel the warmth of his chest behind me too. Not to mention I could feel one of his arms draped over me. Whatever I did, I didn’t want him waking either. I was enjoying my placement against him, and I knew if he wakes, he will move away. Plus, when he wakes, and I pretend to do the same, I can imagine all the things we would be forced to face.
However, after a while of lying there despite the heat, I felt something off. Mr. Rush’s breathing. The rhythm of it… was faster than it should be. It wasn’t slow like it would be if he were sleeping. He was awake!
The guy must not have felt my heart quicken. Mr. Rush thought I was still asleep. But why didn’t he move and why was he still letting me lay against him? I tried calming my breathing.
Next thing I knew, I felt something. He gently shifted me against him, moving me cautiously so I was lying more on my back. I could feel my cheek was pressed against his chest. With just slightly moving us like that… it allowed for him to actually stare down at me now. I trained my face to stay still when I could feel his stare fall to my sleeping expression. I knew this because his breath also brushed against my face slightly now. I wanted to open my eyes and meet his beautiful ones, but that would reveal myself. His arm still wrapped around me, I just… felt the intensity between us, even with my eyes shut. What was he looking at me for?
I decided I shouldn’t wait any longer before ‘waking’ no matter how much I wanted to avoid what happened last night. Sure, what we did was for warmth. I wasn’t proud of how happy it made me wrapped around him like that last night. Without even asking him, I just started to touch the man! Mr. Rush probably felt as if he violated me somehow because he did it too, even though it was to keep warm.
Deliberately, I moaned softly and shifted into a stretch so it gave him enough warning. I heard him curse under his breath before I felt him move away. He left my side in a fast movement, and that was enough of a sign to start slowly opening my eyes.
When I came to sit up from where I was lying, my eyes instantly spotted Mr. Rush. He was sitting a few feet away from me, not even meeting my eyes when I looked at him.
He looked straight guilty even though I was the guilty one. I drew in a breath. “Mr. Rush?”
It looked like he was trying hard to act like it was another normal day. He failed miserably. “Hey, you’re up!” he said too cheerfully with a smile that didn’t reach his reluctant eyes.
I sighed. “Um, yeah.”
We sat there in awkward silence. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, making my day crumble more before it even started. I was dying to get a glimpse his eyes and know what he was feeling right now.
“Look, I just wanted to say you shouldn’t feel weird about last night. We did what we did to keep warm so let’s avoid all the drama and forget about it. I don’t want you to start feeling weird for some childish reason around me.” I was embarrassed just saying it so I tried hiding it with a casual smile he attempted earlier. “Besides, I would go insane if I didn’t have my only buddy Wilson to talk to if you suddenly stopped talking,” I teased with that reference and caught him smiling at my comment. It made me feel better that I went with that lighthearted approach. It finally coaxed him into meeting my eyes.
“I know. It still felt wrong to do. I feel like I took some kind of advantage of you.” He shook his head. “I know it’s foolish to think that since we did it to keep warm and our lives from freezing away. Regardless, I still feel wrong,” he struggled. I couldn’t blame him. I understood with him being engaged how he would feel a bit upset. Plus with me being his student and probably a kid to him, it must have been awkward for him.
If anything, I was at fault. “That was how we survived and kept our hands and face from freezing off. If we hadn’t, Jill would seriously get pissed! You wouldn’t have that same beautiful face!” I said in a deliberately snotty and mocking tone. I chuckled under my breath before I could register my own words. I regretted it when I saw his face grow tense. “I’m sorry.”
“You know absolutely nothing about her. You never met her so the least you could do is keep your opinions about her to yourself. It is none of your business anyway. Just…” he shook his head, and it seemed to have brought on something very different. A sudden change moved across his face as he looked at me with pain, anger, and regret. “Don’t you have enough drama in your life to worry about other than mine and my life?” he sneered at me, and it made my stomach twist. I tried to not let that get to me.