Authors: Marien Dore
Island Rush (22 page)
His eyes were wide over mine, too shocked to move. The events that just occurred seconds ago will always remain with me. I loved what we shared. It made me want to pull him back down to me so we could reconnect our lips. I knew that would be too wrong for me to do especially with the shock and horror that was present in his gaze.
He closed his eyes for a long second, holding them tightly shut before opening them again. I could see the shock in them slowly dissipate as he realized that what happened was real. That reality pushed him to roll off me in fast motion, anything to be further away. With how quickly he did it, I was nearly positive he would have made a run for it. All he did was groan from the soreness, though. Hearing his painful grunt… it reminded me that my body was in poor shape as well.
We survived what seemed to be a hurricane, and the first thing he does is kiss me instead of checking whether we were in good condition. I can’t say I minded that.
Mr. Rush was breathing shallow breaths from where he was on his back. He winced when he started to sit up. Raising a hand to his face, he ran it down his cheek before pulling it back. Staring at the blood and dirt on his hand, I could only imagine how bad I was. I tried to sit up myself but I couldn’t. All it resulted in was a shot of pain shooting up both legs and making me yelp. I bit my tongue, but it was too late. He was looking me over with a worried expression as I finally pushed myself to sit up, propping myself with my arms.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I scoffed and shook my head. “I asked you first. I guess you’re more than fine considering your answer was to kiss me!”
I felt a rush of irritation and annoyance towards him. I loved what we shared, I truly did. What I didn’t like was my theory as to why he initiated it in the first place.
“I… I’m sorry!” his stuttered out, unable to meet my eyes now. “I… I have no clue why I did that. It was really blurry,” he muttered, swallowing and looking down. “I am truly sorry, Janice. Honestly, I don’t have a clue what just came over me. I didn’t mean it, for more reasons than one. I really don’t understand my actions.” He was still breathing in large gasps, and I don’t think it was just from the pain anymore. Listening to what he said, I didn’t believe much of it.
“No. I know you know why you did it. You’re going to tell me,” I said in a hard voice. My chest was experiencing a rough ride at the moment. I was mad because my guess for why he did it was Jill. Yet my heart was going crazy about the impossible hope that he wanted to do it because he wanted me.
He looked up to me, and his face turned panicked at my words, desperate. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it, shaking his head. “You don’t understand…” he trailed off. His answer made me more upset, and I couldn’t be quiet anymore.
“It was your lust for Jill, wasn’t it? It’s been so long without her or just contact with a woman in general – that you needed to take it out on me. You imagined her, weren’t you?”
I waited and watched him carefully. His eyes grew with an expression that called me crazy, but it changed after a moment. To something, I couldn’t read. All I started thinking was that I couldn’t get my hopes up – and it was very unrealistic too as well. He was engaged to an attractive woman that was around his age. I was a child to him and could imagine not nearly as pretty. It made my theory more credible in my eyes. He used me for Jill.
He searched my face a minute before he finally looked away and sighed. In a hurt expression, he spoke in a quiet voice. “Yes. I used you because of my need for Jill.”
Despite the pain, I forced myself to my feet. He did too and faced me, his eyes begging for understanding. At this point, all I could think was that this guy was a prick.
“I truly hadn’t been thinking. It’s just… after that storm, something broke in me, and I couldn’t control it.”
“Your need for physical contact,” I said in a dead voice.
He reluctantly nodded. I wasn’t sure what to think. I was hurt, and it was my own fault. I knew he would hurt me if I liked him like that. However, there was a part of me that was just disgusted that he would use me like that. “I can’t believe you would do that to me,” I said in a sour voice. Unfortunately, I heard my voice break with it.
“I… I can’t tell you sorry enough. I didn’t mean to make you think I cared for you… in that way.”
“Excuse me?” I raised an eyebrow.
“You… you did kiss me back. You need to realize that it was my lust and need for Jill. It was not because I have feelings for you like that. I can’t— I don’t feel that way for you.” He tried to say the words firmly, but it looked like he had a hard time saying it, which I understood. It was awkward and just hearing it made me cringe. I felt angry and embarrassed.
He caught me. I kissed him back. He obvious thought that I liked him in more ways than I should, which I did, but I sure didn’t want him knowing that! “I don’t care for you that way either,” I instinctively hissed back at him. “I don’t care what you think at the moment. All I know is you used me.”
His head dropped in shame as well as in sadness. “I did. I… I’m so sorry for that. I really did not mean to use you, I really did not,” he stressed. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his next words out a little faster. “Even though it was lust for Jill, I still took it out on another girl that wasn’t her. And a kid at that,” he groaned. Those last words made him wince for some reason. It made me sick to hear. I was going to give him something else to wince about.
He knew the damage that did to me. Then he turns around and worries about his relationship with her. Tossing me aside like that… that would have hurt anybody. Then the real kicker was that he insulted me and called me a kid. That was why, for the second time on this island, I gripped my fist tight and wound it back. Swinging it forward, I punched his already hurting face and jaw. Though it hurt my body to do it, I took a lot of satisfaction knowing he was already in physical pain too.
Before my fist made contact with his jaw, I saw something very strange cross his features: a knowing look. One that said he knew I would react this way and welcomed it. Was this his way of relieving his guilt? I didn’t know and didn’t care either.
He twisted in the direction my fist went, falling to the ground instantly. It was shocking to see. I didn’t think I put that much power behind it, but I was satisfied. Those words would hurt anybody, and he knew it. Did he think it was my fault for him kissing me?! I wanted to punch him again but held off as I watched him grunt on the ground. Hearing it made me laugh humorlessly.
“What the hell is so funny?” he hissed, clasping his bloody nose. I guess I didn’t only get his jaw but his nose too.
“A little ‘kid’ just threw your ass to the ground!” My laugh died down, and I spoke my next words in a low tone. “Jesus, you haven’t changed and are even more of a dick!”
I shook my head. I was mostly angry at myself for a few things. One, I knew better not to fall for this guy and trust him not to do something like that. And two, I still had feelings for him.
I let him lay there. I knew how sore we were and not moving probably felt like his best option. I slowly made my way to a tree that was lying on its side on the forest floor. Gingerly sitting on the log, I took a couple deep breaths.
It was my fault. My fault I felt this way. Sure I would have been pissed off even if I didn’t feel this way about him but I did. He shouldn’t have done that, but it hurt worse for me. It was like he intentionally broke my heart for my own good.
Internally sighing, I rolled my eyes. I sounded like one of those dramatic and immature little girls in school when they had ‘boy trouble’ and all that crap. It hurt, but I needed to suck it up and realize he would never go for me and that I shouldn’t have trusted him.
I heard a grunt and noticed he got to his feet in an awkward manner. I didn’t look at him. He knew –
he knew –
I would hurt when he said those words. Yet, he let them fly. Why he did that? I had no idea. He also knew how hurt I would be, more than one usually would be if used. Having understood all I went through, I at least figured he would have respected that.
He stood before me, and I reluctantly looked up at him, his face now covered in more blood from his nose. “Look, I—” he cut himself off and sighed. “Never mind. We should get cleaned up.”
I scoffed and carefully stood, ignoring his outstretched hand for assistance. I said nothing as we stood there, looking around us. I guess that was the one plus of getting upset. It was a perfect distraction from us nearly dying. Gazing around the area was a perfect reminder.
We could see the ocean from here, which was scary to realize. We were that close to being dragged out by the storm. Though I was hurting, he did save my life again. It didn’t make me want to cave, though. I won’t forgive him so easily yet.
It was nice knowing we weren’t lost at least. Something else was, though: everything we were carrying. “We lost our spear,” I said with a growl. He groaned as he realized this too.
We walked quietly down to the beach and froze at the sight before us. The sand was covered in sticks, big branches, leaves, and seaweed. There were some whole trees too, mostly the trees that were lining the beach. The water supported twigs, logs, and other debris that floated over the waves.
I froze and ran cold as I realized something. My gaze snapped back towards the trees. I pursed my lips at the sight of the few coconut trees in sight. They were laying on the ground, with nothing to offer. I could only assume that went for all sources of fruit along the beach. Well, that is just perfect.
“Shit,” I heard him whisper as his eyes followed my gaze.
I shook my head and laughed again. “Well, isn’t that great! No spear, no food, and probably no shells to spare for the dew!”
After taking it in for a bit, we walked out to the water as we had intended. Knees deep, we washed ourselves off as best as we could. Once we rinsed off the mud, we were careful tending to some of the small cuts we had. We didn’t plan on patching anything because most were too small to bother with. As long as we keep them clean, we will be fine.
Walking back up from the water, I shook my head, not use to this depressing sight along the beach. Could this day get any worse? I’m used for this dude’s own pleasure, we are at a huge disadvantage from losing all our things, and we are bruised and hurt. I guess I had to be thankful. We lived and despite my legs getting hit, as well as Mr. Rush’s side, we were in better shape than we probably should be in.
“We shouldn’t do any walking today. We are hurt and don’t need to push it,” I said.
Though he agreed, I didn’t need a response from him. I walked back up the beach as fast as I dared with him following. When we went further into the trees, the thicker it became and less touched by the storm. When we stopped, I saw Mr. Rush retrieve something from his pockets.
“At least we have the flint and stone,” he muttered. “Too bad everything is wet, probably it will still be tonight too, unfortunately.”
It was a long and awkward rest of the day. We literally did nothing besides try to relax and rest. I laid down on the wet grass when we found some that weren’t spaced out by mud. It was nice, especially since it was a cooler day from that point on. Mr. Rush did the same thing, only laying several feet away from me. We didn’t really talk for the rest of the day, which I was completely fine with.
It was a little hard to relax as we were laying down, though. Everything that happened was still racing in my head and no doubt, his too. At least it gave me a chance to realize the extent of what happened with the storm and Mr. Rush’s mistake.
By the end of the day, Mr. Rush was, unfortunately, right. Everything was still wet and damp. We didn’t bother trying to make a fire and waste our energy. I was afraid of just how cold the night was going to be. Talk about relieving when we started drifting off before the sun was even down. We were so exhausted and sore, it didn’t take much for us to fall asleep before the cold could hit.
Of course, I did wake in the middle of the night because of it. I tried not letting it bother me by pushing myself to go back to sleep. Even more, though, I had to force away the temptation of moving closer to Mr. Rush. He was a good source of heat and was sleeping just a few feet away.
During the storm, I lost the fabric that was wrapped around my feet. Being shirtless too made it worse, of course. I felt as if I was freezing but knew I would be fine. I eventually managed to fall back to sleep for the rest of that night.
Bathrooms were luxuries. I was learning that while I was here. It was just one more thing that made me feel disgusting living on this island. Of course, that was because I wasn’t used to wiping my ass with leaves. I wasn’t used to the slight lack of privacy. I could say this, though,
Thank God, I could toss aside the moss until next month
. Just couldn’t imagine what we will be doing and where we will be next time I get my period.
After cleaning up and walking back to where we spent the night sleeping without a fire to warm us, we were ready to go. We knew we couldn’t give in and spend today relaxing too. Despite being hurt and sore, we needed to get some walking done today. Having no food made me even more anxious to find the creek. Because of the heat unlike yesterday, fresh water sounded pretty good to me.
As we set out walking, it was clear we weren’t going to be nearly as productive as usual. We couldn’t walk nearly as fast and with how sore we were, we would need more breaks too. The cuts on the bottom of my feet didn’t help either, but they weren’t much of a concern considering our current situation. No food, no spear, no relief for my aching body, and no words to say to him. I know I sound pathetic but today was not a great day to upset me. I was ready to explode with all the tension and energy around us. Mr. Rush and I said as little as possible to each other, save a few words. Though I was quite mad, I wasn’t as upset as I was yesterday but enough to not want to bother with him at all.
About mid-afternoon, we stumbled across more than just flat land and the sight of a cluttered debris-filled beach. With each step, we noticed something in the distance standing out. There was a high point of some sort down the beach. A cliff or maybe plateau was more accurate.
We continued until we could take it all in. Mr. Rush froze before it, staring blankly up at it with me. Our eyes ran up the jagged rocks that stretched high from the tree line all the way out to the water. It was very daunting to see the land curve up like that deeper into the woods. Staring up at the open top of it, it was clear that on top of these massive rocks was a flat and grassy top. The rocks of this plateau stretched out into the water. The whole thing also seemed strangely familiar to me somehow too.
Mr. Rush backed up, sizing it up as he craned his neck. Was he considering climbing it? That would be dangerous. If we want to get past it by climbing it, our best bet would be to move further into the trees and go over it. Staring into the trees, though, it was clear that it would be a while before being able to safely climb up it. Plus, we didn’t want to get lost again either with how far back we might have to go into the trees. That would be a huge risk.
“What are we going to do?” I asked.
He studied it again, his eyes sweeping back to the water where the cliff stopped, as if out of nowhere. He sighed. “The best way would be to go in the water and move around it. If we hold onto the rocks, the current shouldn’t mess with us.”
I looked where his eyes were. The rocks where the cliff ended were not that far out. We knew it was deep, though, and the waves would be stronger. The wind they brought proved so as my hair brushed behind me in the breeze. Even though we were pretty beaten up, it didn’t look bad.
“That seems fine,” I said, studying it myself.
He nodded, looking up at the rocks again as we continued forward. We reached where the sand gave way to rocks when Mr. Rush stopped and looked me straight in the eyes. “Follow close behind me. The ocean is unpredictable.”
I scoffed, saying nothing and receiving nothing else from him. Sighing, he moved and turned towards the water, his feet eventually breaking the surface. Following behind him, I watched him closely, knowing that this was a serious situation.
It was clear that he didn’t like this route by the grave look on his face. Staring at the waves crashing into those massive rocks wouldn’t help anybody, though. “Hey,” I said, unable to help myself. “We will be okay. We have the rocks to hold on to and won’t be that far out.”
He nodded, taking a deep breath as he began walking further out into the water. We stuck close to the huge mountain of rocks in the water. Mr. Rush stopped once the water hit our chests, the waves starting to knock us back more. He grasped one rock with both of his hands before he turned back to me. “Hold on. I don’t know how strong the waves are going to be further out.”
With us actually out here… I never saw the waves look this choppy and rough. Yeah, great day to run into a cliff blocking our way!
It was a daunting task we were trying to complete. With each second that passed, my heart was beating harder. I did as he asked when I needed to, like hanging onto one of the huge rocks with a tight grip. Struggling along with our hands trailing along the rocks. Eventually, our feet couldn’t touch the bottom. It made us rely more on the rocks and our own strength.
The waves became harder to push against as Mr. Rush showed. He was hit with a wave that made his body slide back slightly towards me. He wasn’t prepared enough when it went over his head. It resulted in him letting out a few coughs, spitting the salty water out of his mouth.
We were both soaked by this point. His hair was a darker color from the water and curled back behind him. I could also see his arms were strained as he gripped the rocks harder. “You okay?” I gasped out, the waves hitting me harder too.
I heard a weak laugh then his voice. “I’m fine.”
Every few seconds, a wave would curve up, slamming us harder and make us nearly lose the grip we had on the rocks. Our bodies in the water would lift with the force, but our arms kept us going. I now knew why he decided to go first.
Staying close behind didn’t provide much coverage, though. Each wave pushed us back harder. It got to the point where my skin was sliding against the rough rocks, and all I could do was ignore it. I couldn’t let go, and we needed to keep moving. We were getting so close to moving around the point of it!
We took those last few moves slowly. We started to go around the curve of the end very gradually to the other side of the cliff. Once we moved around it and could see the land on the other side… the sight was overwhelming.
The beach was still filled with the aftermath of the storm. Logs, branches, seaweed, and leaves covered the smooth sand. It was clear that this side of the little peninsula didn’t get hit nearly as hard. There were more trees that were bent to the ground than just simply gone. That wasn’t what caught my gaze and drove me crazy, though.
“Oh my god,” I said in shock.
Mr. Rush was frozen in front of me, his hands resting tightly on a rock as he stared at the same sight. The waves were nothing compared to what they were on the other side, which allowed us to relax a bit as we gazed, absolutely stunned.
I nudged his shoulder and spoke frantically with excitement. “Go! Hurry! Haven’t we been waiting long enough for this!?” I was super flipping anxious! I needed this.
He jumped into action at my words, now making his way along the left side of the cliff. We moved at a much faster pace, slamming our poor hands into the pointy edges. The second our feet could touch the bottom, we let go of the rocks in a frenzy. We began swimming towards land with no interruption from rough waves. Rushing in the direction diagonal from where we gripped the rocks, we moved towards the one thing we needed most. And by the time we were racing up the beach, we discarded any physical pain we were feeling. My smile and his cured it all.
I felt my heart jump as we got closer. Dodging around the debris, we finally reached it. Slowing to a stop and taking it in… it was so beautiful! So beautiful to lay my eyes on this creek. I stared in awe at the clear water gliding downstream and into the ocean, small stones and rocks covering the creek’s floor. It was maybe only a few dozen feet wide; not too large or small. It was perfect!
The music of the trickling water tickled my stomach and ears. Trees, bushes, and long grass covered the banks on both sides. And the edges of those banks ended only a few inches above the waterline of the flowing liquid. It looked like the stream we saw before at the waterfall. I was nearly certain that this was the end of it.
We walked up to the grassy bank, stopping on the edge. Looking up, I was able to take in overpopulated brush and vines that hung over the water. Besides that, though, this area was quite open and grassy. Staring at where the water was flowing from, I could see that the creek was slightly curved and out of sight before rushing towards the ocean.
Gazing at the surroundings, I smiled softly. It was nice to see the storm didn’t affect the creek much at all. The grass and trees looked in perfect shape. To look behind me and see a cluttered beach and compare it to this… it was strange. I had to guess that the cliff shielded this part of the beach well enough.
“This makes me wonder about what kind of storm it was we were in,” I said, lowering my eyebrows in thought.
He nodded. “It felt like a hurricane, but if it were, that cliff would not have blocked it,” he said, gesturing behind us to the plateau we just went around. “And obviously, the cliff blocked a big chunk of it.”
I smiled softly to myself. “Either way, we got lucky. We finally found it.”
Though unsure of what kind of storm we experienced, it didn’t stay in my mind or his. It was surprising that it took this long for one of us to say something. After all, our throats were burning this whole time.
“I can’t believe we haven’t swallowed this entire stream by now,” he said, staring at the water in want.
“I’m ready to,” I muttered, stepping down from the bank and into the fresh water. I felt goosebumps rise, which was saying something since we were still soaked from the ocean. It made me even more excited.
I noticed the water stopped at my kneecaps upon looking down. Then I saw Mr. Rush’s legs come into my view. We were both ready for this. I have been imagining myself drinking this cold and clear water for too long. Time for us to make it happen.