Authors: Marien Dore
What we were attempting to build, or rather what I was attempting to build, was something that we would be relying on for a long time. That meant we needed a strong and durable shelter. That was what I was working on throughout the entire day. When I did get the chance, though, I involved Casey.
He was hurt and unable to move much, but that didn’t make him completely useless. I dragged the wood wall closer to him so we could complete the next step, which was to sew the leaves onto our wall/roof. It would be extremely helpful. It wasn’t like the branches of the wall magically lined up with no spaces in between. This would keep the wind and rain out.
He carefully shifted enough so he was comfortable, still leaning against the tree. With the three vines running horizontally along all the vertical branches, it made it easy. He sewed the huge leaves right to the vine, one right next to the other. Because I knew we needed more protection, I stuffed some moss between the branches and logs too before he sewed the leaves.
Doing this with him in the shade was like a little break. He didn’t need to move much at all. He was only using his hands and leaned a little when he had to. I am happy to say he was doing slightly better with the cut not affecting him as much. The pain was still clearly there based on the grunts he made. It was nothing compared to how it was before, though.
He followed where I was, sewing the leaves in the same area after I stuffed the moss. I sat by him as we worked on the wall together and though it wasn’t as demanding, I was still sweating terribly. The fact that I had to constantly turn the wall a certain way didn’t help. We would finish with an area and need to move onto the next.
Besides the bugs getting worse thanks to my sweaty face, it was very peaceful. The birds chirped in the tall trees and added music to the silence around us. The waterfall always hummed, and the creek trickled downstream with that cold water. It made me want to jump in and cool off. Casey could see that desire too, and I am sure shared it with me.
The sweat was pouring off of my nose, and when I looked to Casey, I saw the same and more. His face was tilted down towards the leaves, and the sweat was dripping off his nose and onto the leaves.
“Testing the water resistance?” I asked.
He chuckled. “It sure looks like it. I need to jump into that lake,” he looked over at the shining water.
“I think we should after I finish up with everything, which isn’t too much actually after this.”
Casey agreed, and we got back to work. As we were getting closer to finishing up, I started breathing heavier. It was such a hot day to be doing this. The sun was blocked by the leaves, but the humidity was killing us. I just wanted to get it all done and over with so I could cool off.
I pulled the wall back to where I originally was working on it. My back aching under this breaking heat, my muscles sore, I looked over everything we did. I was fairly impressed with how well the wall and roof of our shelter turned out.
“Are we good to cool off yet?” he asked me from where he sat against the tree.
“Yep. The only thing left to do is tie that branch to both trees. Then, I thought maybe it would be smart to dig a little ditch where the one end of the wall will be on the ground. It would keep it from falling since it’s just going to be propped. It would also make it more stable.”
“That’s a really good idea,” he nodded. “And the ditch would be like a couple inches deep?”
I nodded. “Yeah, just enough to keep it in place.”
“Would we do it like how we buried the flight attendant? Use our hands then something to even it out?” he asked, just wanting to know more about how we were going to do this. Instead, it peaked my attention.
“What?” I asked confused.
“Remember? We used our hands then we started using a piece of driftwood? I figured we use our hands then something to even the ditch out like the knife.”
I stared at him, worrying once more about my sanity issue. “I know we buried the flight attendant on the beach, but I can’t recall any of what you said. I really don’t want to. I think I somehow pushed it permanently out of my head. I know it sounds crazy—”
“No, it doesn’t. That happens a lot when someone doesn’t want to remember something. That is probably what you did. Don’t jump to the conclusion that you’re losing your mind.”
“But I wished more than anything that the image of my mother’s body was out of my head. Yet it is the clearest thing in my head. I don’t want to remember those awful dreams, but I do. I want to forget that and all the images with it.”
He watched me for a second. “I believe that you want that out of your head. But you force yourself subconsciously to remember it. You want to remember those horrible things because if you remember, it will ensure that you will make your dad and brother pay for it.
I thought over his words and came to two conclusions. One was that he knew more than I thought. The other conclusion I made after thinking through those words were that he was most likely right because it made sense. I thought about it a lot, my mom and what happened.
The image was always with me. Why though when I could just block it out like I did with the flight attendant? It could be because it was just such a huge shock to me. It changed my life, and I couldn’t forget it, regardless. Even still, he was right. I wouldn’t allow myself to let it go or forget. I felt relief in thinking and hoping that my dad and brother will pay for it. It felt good to think about terrible things happening to them.
“I think you’re right. I remember everything so clearly because I don’t allow myself to forget it. I want to hate what happened because my mom didn’t deserve that. I want them to pay for what they did to her.” I shook my head. He not only made me feel better but his words made me realize something. “You know me so well,” I smiled. “I absolutely love it.”
He smiled sweetly back up to me. “I feel lucky to know you that well. It’s a present to me. But anyway, for the ditch,” he chuckled, getting back to what we were originally talking about. “Start digging with your hands and if it’s too hard, use the knife to soften the dirt and make it loose. Then afterward, you can use it to make it all even.”
As it turned out, that was the best idea for this. I only found out though after we did everything else. I didn’t think we would be able to get so much done, but we did. We only had a few things left to do. I dreaded one of them because it t required something I put off earlier.
I told Casey that I needed his help with tying the twelve-foot branch a few feet up against the two trees. All he had to do was hold one end as I tied the other to one of the trees. Even still, I knew how physically demanding that was, but he didn’t hesitate. He was happy to do it no matter the pain.
He grunted when I helped him stand. He bit his lip and tightened his jaw when I helped him over to the two trees. Taking deep breaths, he calmed down after a bit. I held his hand and soothed him as best as I could. And when he insisted he would be fine, I grabbed the two vines as well as the branch. It was hard lifting it as it was. Now, we needed to hold it about five feet high against the trees. I just hope that he would be able to take that much weight.
“You ready?” I asked, about to raise it to his level so he wouldn’t have to bend over and pick his end up.
“You bet,” he mumbled, watching me as I raised it higher. High enough so he could grab it and help me. We lifted it up about five feet, which was the height we wanted the shelter. I couldn’t stop glancing over at him.
“Are you okay? Doing well?” I asked, eyes frantic over him. His body was tense, and he was holding this branch high with me. He was shaking but just stared intently at me. It wasn’t like it was too much to hold. It just hurt him.
“I’m fine,” he mustered out in a hiss. “Get it done,” he said.
I did. He took more of the weight as I grabbed a vine, wrapping it around the tree and the branch. Doing it in all directions and angles I could, I finally tied it off tight enough. One side was done and now the other.
I swiftly took all the weight of the branch, allowing him to back off. “Thank you,” I said. “If you could, just watch how even it is compared to the other end. I don’t want to tie this end higher or lower than the other.”
He nodded, his face pale and sweaty. It made me worried as I watched him because all I wanted to do was tend to him. I needed to finish this though first. At least he was only standing and watching. I started wrapping the vine around the other end of the branch. “How’s right here?” I asked, glancing between him and the other end.
“Go up just a little bit then you are good,” he said, watching the branch carefully.
I did and tied it off as I did the last. When I knew I couldn’t have tied it any tighter with this vine, I backed up to take it in. It looked even and perfect. All that was left was propping the wall against it and digging out that little ditch. That meant Casey could sit back down and relax, which he was happy to do actually.
I then spent a lot of the time propping the wall against the branch we tied. As it turns out, twenty was the lucky number. It fit well into place. And even though I made a small ditch on the ground to keep it in place, I wanted to make sure it was secure, so I found more vines and tied the wall to the two trees on each side of it.
By the end, I was smiling brightly. Turning, I skipped to him and sat beside him against the tree. It looked great in my eyes. The wall faced the open area and trees we were by. The rest was wide open to the sight of the trees, lake, and waterfall. Though it was only a wall against two trees, it seemed sheltered enough since it was only five feet high.
I tried to imagine sleeping under the elevated wall. To be able to fall asleep and hear the sound of the water was going to be peaceful. We could stay warm sleeping next to a hot fire with something to trap the heat around us. It was exciting to think about but nothing compared to how excited I would be to actually sleep next to a certain someone.
Sure, I slept in his arms and by him while we’re here, but this would be different. To know we would be sleeping under the same shelter…. My heart was doing flips. It seems childish, but I couldn’t wait until it was time to go sleep, and I could lay in our home together. I couldn’t stop smiling.
“What do you think?” I asked, voice high in excitement.
I knelt up next to him and watched his joyful expression. “I can’t believe you did all that. I sat here and watched you do this the whole day and still, I’m blown away. Plus, you got it done in one day! That is so incredible. You are incredible.”
I blushed and hugged him to me carefully. He wrapped his arms around me in return. Though it felt amazing to hug him, I know we were more excited for something else.
“I’m going in the water. I’m sure I look awful,” I laughed. “And though you are also sweating like a pig, is it weird if I say you look sexy?”
“Hate to disappoint you but I plan on washing this sexiness off. I feel just as disgusting as you do. I did like watching you sweat doing hard labor,” he said in an amused voice.
I smiled and helped him to his feet. With a grunt, he stood on his own after a minute. “Going into the water might be a little shock for you. So I’ll be right here for you okay?” I took his hand with mine.
“I know you will be,” he smiled and clasped my hand.
I guided him slowly closer to the water, cautious of his cut. All I wanted was to sprint in and soak myself in the chilly water. But I felt the same as he did. I’ll always be there for him. I took those slow steps with a smile.
I guided him to the edge of the bank where the grass stopped, and lake started. As we were walking at the slow rate we were, I made sure that we didn’t get any more clothes wet that I could wear later. Since it was so hot all day, the only thing on me that I needed to take off were my shorts. After doing that, in only my bra and underwear, I glanced up to him. Casey didn’t even bother trying to take his shorts off. Walking was hard enough for him.
When we reached the edge, we stopped, knowing this might mean trouble to continue into the water. One more step and we would be in the lake. Not much for me but it was a lot for Casey. Though the stitches were doing their magic as was the waterproof dressing strips, it would take a while until he is healed. With this heat and how cold the water was, there would be some form of shock or tension in his body when we go in. Even simple goosebumps could hurt him because his body would tense. At least it wouldn’t hurt as bad as before though.
“Are you okay to do this?”
He looked hesitant but nodded. I stepped down from where the bank ended and was now standing in the ankle-deep water. I looked up at him as he was only a step away from joining where my feet were in paradise. The water and sand between my toes felt wonderful, and I wanted my whole body to know that feeling.
I inched back and closer to him, sliding my hand carefully on his good side. Glancing up at him, ready to support his weight when he steps down, I watched him try. He inched closer, and when he finally took that step, I took all the weight I could and helped him down.
His feet hitting the sand bottom, I looked up at him standing next to me. His eyes were scrunched tightly closed. His shoulders and whole body became tense. Casey’s mouth was set to a hard scowl and after a minute, the pain he held in went away. Opening his eyes, they met my eyes as he breathed deeply, his hand finding mine.
“How does it feel?” I asked.
“Well, it’s fine now. But I imagine that as I go in deeper, I might tense up until I get used to it.”
“Then we will go slowly if we have to.”
Which we did. We gradually went deeper as the water surrounded and swarmed our legs. Then our hips. The relief I felt through my body as the water gradually rose up made me shiver and smile. The work I did today not only got me sweaty and dirty but also made my body sore. The water relaxed those parts of me, becoming the cure for all things.
Well, to me it felt like that. Casey started breathing harder, and that pain became constant through his expressions. The pain was still there, and it upset me that he had to go through this.
Once the water was at our hips, he stopped walking.
“What is it?” I asked, looking up at him.
“I’ve been hurting this whole time. So why don’t I just get it over with? I’ll get used to the water faster and be able to relax faster.”
“What are you…?”
He didn’t wait for me to ask because he smirked before he let his body fall forward and hit the water. I realized too late what he meant. I stared in astonishment and fear as he disappeared from sight and into the water. I felt my heart jump in my chest. The thought of how that must have felt for him made me cringe. He was crazy to put himself through all that pain.
I watched as he resurfaced and yelped in pain. His body was more than cooled off. It was in terrible pain. I rushed to where he was floating and caught him by the arms, taking his weight as I made him stand. His eyes were wide, and the top row of teeth bit his bottom lip hard. His breath came in and out unevenly, body trembling. His hands gripped at me as I held him, except much harder. He stared at me hard too, trying to calm himself.
“Relax. Relax…” I said as calmly as I could. His teeth remained biting his lip, and I knew he was holding in the grunts and groans. He knew I hated when he was in pain, but it was obvious no matter what.
A minute or so passed until he was back to normal. His eyes remained on me, but I saw his face flush with embarrassment. He had the right to be very embarrassed. Not only was he wrong that it was better to bring on all the pain at once, but he also deserved the feeling of embarrassment.
“Are you feeling better?” I asked. “Is your body relaxed?”
He nodded, and I could tell. The tension left his muscles. He smiled up with a blush on his face.
“Good,” I said in a childish voice. “Now, did you learn your lesson like a good little boy? Because you are a little kid when it comes to stuff like this!” I exclaimed and slapped his arm.
He sighed. “I guessed I deserved that.”
“Yeah, you kind of did. Was it worth the risk of breaking open that cut again?”
“No because that hurt,” he said chuckling. “But hey, I don’t hurt now that I got it over with.”
“You can be so young for your age.” I slowly let his weight go and saw he didn’t wince. We stood in the now chest deep water. His hair dripped wet with the cool water, cascading down his skin.
“Does it hurt now?” I asked. I studied him as he stood in the water without my support. He did seem fine.
“Not much, but I shouldn’t try swimming. This is as far as I should go.”
“That’s fine. I can handle it,” I said, knowing I should keep my mouth shut.
“Handle what?”
“I’ll be right back. Stay here,” I said, turning away from his confused face and walking back up the shore. I smirked to myself, loving this idea I had. I know it is going to make him feel good and clean. I wanted to at least do that for him if I could. Plus, I knew I would love it too.
Stepping up the bank and into the long grass, the air chilled over my skin, and it actually felt great. I walked to where our stuff was we found. I scanned over the piles of clothes and other things until I found what I was looking for.
Gathering what I needed in my hands, I went back the edge of the bank and stepped back into the water. I turned and set everything I brought on the bank, leaving it all there until it would be needed for later. The only thing I took out to Casey was the shampoo. Seeing his face when he realized what I was holding, I smiled and stifled a laugh. He raised an eyebrow and a sweet smile spread for me.
“You are going to bathe me?” he asked, sounding like he didn’t believe it at first.
“Are you capable of doing it?” I asked.
“Well, no.”
“Then I guess that’s left to the doctor.” I stood before him again, the shampoo bottle in one hand. “We need to go a little deeper.”
He smiled and took my free hand as we walked in deeper, taking just a few steps in the descending sand. His hand warm in the surrounding coolness and the crashing of the waterfall, I noticed something. The further out we were, the better he seemed to be.
When the water reached my shoulders, we stopped. My eyes burned with the remaining sweat sticky on my face. Taking a quick second to do so, I let my legs go limp and slipped under the water. It covered my body in its comforting liquid blanket. It felt wonderful, and I did not want to stop drenching myself, but I was cooled off enough.
Pushing myself back up, I came to stand before Casey again. It felt so good to be cleansed of the gross sweat. Now, the wet curtain of my hair released water droplets, making me feel even better. “That felt good,” I said.
“All that did to me was hurt me. I did cool off, though,” he chuckled. “Anyway, what was the point of going deeper?”
“To rinse you off easier. Now, just stand still and I’ll take care of you,” I smiled.
“Yes, mom,” he laughed as I went around him to face his back. Though the water reached my shoulders, he was taller than me. The water rested up to the middle of his back.
I chuckled. “If I were your mom, then this would be one screwed up a relationship.”
I unsnapped the shampoo bottle and squeezed out a small fraction into my hand. And the fact that he was taller made it slightly harder for me. Though he could just bend his knees, there would be a chance it could cause him pain. So I could deal with doing it this way.
I needed both hands. Snapping the bottle shut, I turned my body back towards the bank. Winding my arm back, I chucked the shampoo bottle back onto the shore. It had landed in the tall grass before I turned back to him, facing his strong back.
“This already is one screwed up relationship,” he said.
I chuckled, not really sure if I meant to. It brought me a hint of sadness. Reaching high up behind him, nearly touching his back with my stomach, I rested both of my hands on his head and spread the shampoo over his skull. “I know,” I said. I debated whether I should ask but I did. “What would we do if we ever made it off this island?” I asked.
I scrubbed the shampoo into his hair, the soapy bubbles running down his body and into the water. Massaging my hand and nails in small circles, I pulled back the strands hanging forward in his face with delicate fingers, curling them around his ears. I felt his body go totally relaxed, his shoulders dropping and he leaned his head back.
“What do you mean?” he asked softly.
“I mean… what would you do if we ever made it off this island?” He knew what I meant that time. My dumb voice lowered, and he heard the curiosity in it. His shoulders pulled back up slightly, but he didn’t wince. He was too distracted by my continuous movement my hands made. I felt him take in a deep breath.
“Nothing would change between us. Nothing.”
I smiled to myself as I finished with his soapy head of hair. He sounded so confident about that, but it seemed unlikely. If we were to go home, our problems would triple. If he wanted to be with me there, then it meant huge risks. Huge. If he meant what he said, that meant that he would be willing to risk losing his job and going to jail. That alone would scare most men out of a relationship. He probably didn’t mean it; who would risk all that? Especially if the man has strong beliefs in doing the right thing. The problem of him ‘cheating’ would be a much bigger issue if we went home too.
I understood that he loved me. He loves me with more passion than I could have imagined. He has risked a lot for me, including his life. But there were a ton of problems we would have to face. How would we handle it if we returned to being surrounded by laws and expectations? With pressures and people? How would we handle it if we returned to a world where the right thing is pushed and enforced?
“We need to rinse your hair out. Bend your knees slowly until your head is under. Don’t let your body tense up,” I said.
He turned towards me, and I saw the concern and confusion over his face. He knew that I was bothered but pushed it aside for a moment. Nodding and slowly bending his knees, he eased into the water and continued until his entire face disappeared. I watched through the liquid shield as his hands traveled up to his head. Scrubbing the bubbles and shampoo out, a foggy white color floated to the surface. When he resurfaced, he moaned loudly from the pain of doing that.
A few deep breaths later and the pain fading, I saw that concern and confusion return to his face. His beautiful brown eyes searched mine, looking for an answer. “You don’t believe me, do you?” he finally asked.
“I believe you would want nothing to change between us if we were back home. If it comes down to it, you might do the right thing and get out of this relationship.”
He looked hurt, and I felt terrible for accusing him like that. It was my fear, though. “You think that’s the right thing to do? You think the right thing to do would be for me to leave you?”
“To you, it might be right. I know you love me and will want to be with me if we returned to our normal lives, but you might do what’s ‘right’ instead of being with me. It isn’t ‘right’ to be with an underage girl, who is your student, and while you are technically engaged. We would be living by society’s rules again. That’s how it was before. You knew it was wrong to get involved with me.”
He sighed. “I wasn’t lying when I said nothing would change with us. I didn’t say things would be as easy. I would feel guiltier. I would hate seeing you as my student again. Hate having that reminder that it is against the law to be with a girl not your age. None of that matters, though. I wasn’t lying when I said that I can’t fight it anymore. Or when I said that no matter how wrong this is and guilty I am, it’s worth it. Do you remember that?”
That was only a few days ago when he said that. That he wasn’t letting me go now that he has me. I guess that also included if we were to return home. I felt awful for even accusing him of thinking about it. He continued to amaze me, though. I mean, I was still trying to grasp the whole idea that this wasn’t a dream. Still trying to make sense of how this man was here with me - and loved me!
I looked up into his shining eyes. A small smile spread across his lips as he watched my expression, which I am sure was one expressing awe. “I remember,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not like I thought you would be the kind of guy that would do that if we went back to the real world. It’s just that my life has obviously been a lie fed to me by my own family. When somebody says it can only get better, I want them to shove it up their ass. That hasn’t been true for me. So now, it just seems too good to be true for me. How can I suddenly have you all to myself? You, the sweetest and most wonderful man, wants me and loves me…” My breath hitched. I ran a hand back through my hair as I cleared my throat. “I can’t help but wait for it to fall apart for the simple reason that it would kill me if that happened… if I lost you.” I was breathing hard and felt like a fool, babbling on about my stupid issue with being happy for once. It was pathetic.