It’s Still Complicated: …because I Am Still Waiting (19 page)

My eyes were filled with expectations that she will be back and my heart was filled with pain of losing her, alas I couldn’t cry all the time and tell people about what has happened to me. I kept my tears hidden all the way to hometown and finally we reached home. As usual Lovika, my cousin little sister came out running towards me and sat on my lap. She smiled at me and asked me, “How are you
bhaiya?
”, I hugged her and whispered in her ears, pray to god that Megha comes back; your brother will be fine again. She did not understand anything and she smiled at me running towards my mom.

My depression was killing me but I had to bear all the things alone, I hated when someone is watching some serial or movies based on love stories, but I couldn’t stop anyone here because they don’t know about my relationship with Megha and I never wanted to tell them. I tried to play hide and seek with my siblings but after a point of time I couldn’t. While hiding behind the stairs I realized I am hiding from the reality that she has left me alone. I was very difficult for me to spend time at my home town now and with the passage of time it became more difficult when my local friends asked me about Megha’s well-being and our relationship, and when I had to tell them about all those things which happened till now and then realizing that they too are with me but they said to me, “Leave her!”

12th October, 2014

I was lost somewhere, and that somewhere was where she was. Of course I did not have anything in mind except for the relationship, its complications, and the breakup which I believed was not actually a breakup. It was in the evening when I was roaming on my terrace and was wondering how life changes in no time, there was a day when I used to come to the terrace and talk to her over the phone, and everybody at home knew that I was hiding in the terrace to talk to someone and they never showed me that they knew everything. But on a day like today when I had no one to talk to, suddenly everybody at home realized that I am alone and they were here with me on the terrace to accompany me.

This is what we call a lovable family; where they know you inside out and they help you without expressing anything directly to you. I was getting a strong gut feeling that something unusual is going to happen, Megha was going to come back or something bad was going to happen to me. But I ignored my sixth sense as though I was not in my senses and I want something to happen to me that’s why I am feeling it.

Suddenly Dinesh, my brother shouted, “
Bhai
dinner is ready, come to the kitchen please.”

I did not want to eat but because I was at my home I had to. So, I went to the stairs running.

Bash!!…

“Oh he is hit badly, wait… wait… he is bleeding, let’s take him to the hospital he is becoming unconscious…” I was unable to move, I couldn’t open my eyes and I could see only red color with my closed eyes and there was complete silence now.

13th October, 2014

“Are you okay now, I think he is gaining consciousness, yes he is opening his eyes and trying to look around, thank god! he has gained consciousness…”

“Doctor is he fine now?”

“He is still not out of danger, but we hope he will be fine soon.”

“Wait he is getting unconscious again. Ck, Ck? Open your eyes.”

14th October, 2014

“Open your eyes
bhai
its Megha on the call, she wants to talk to you.”

I almost jumped off the bed and saw that it was Preeti, my cousin sitting beside me and she handed me her cell phone and said, “Talk to Megha, she is worried about you.”

“Hello! Hello!” “Hello.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I am. How are you?”

“I am not fine and how I can be, when my sweetheart is lying on a hospital bed. I am so sorry, please get well soon…” she started crying.

“I was now feeling heavy and I started crying too.”

Preeti took that phone away and she walked out of the room.

I wanted to stop her and talk to Megha but I was feeling drowsy and it was all blank once again.

16th October, 2014

“Good morning
Bhai
, how are you feeling today?” “Good morning Preeti, I am fine. But what the hell

has happened to me? Why I am hospitalized?

“Oh! You slipped in the stairs and got a head injury, after which you became unconscious and you were taken to the hospital and now you are doing fine. You are recovering.”

“Did I talk to Megha yesterday? I mean was it a dream or it was real?”

“Yes Bhai, it was real. In fact she wants to talk to you let me call her.”

I saw my mom was standing outside the room and she was looking at me with a question in her eyes, she was wondering “Will he die for that girl?”

I couldn’t look at her and I turned my eyes toward Preeti again, she handed over the cell phone to me.

“Oye!
Ab thik hoja na jaldi se,
I want you back baby. You know na how much I Love you. Please
jaldi se thik hoja… tu sun raha hai na
?”

“Hmm…
sun raha hu
, ill get well soon and will be back to Delhi very soon to meet you. I have been dying without you sweet heart,
I Love you
…”

“I Love you too.”

“Wait! Megha he is getting unconscious again, I’ll call you later. Bye!”

17th October, 2014

“How are you beta?”

“I am fine Mom, how are you?”

“I will be fine. When you will be back home?” “Don’t worry mom, it’s just a small head injury I’ll be back home soon.”

“Mausi! Dinesh is calling you outside, the doctor has allowed me to talk to him for a while,” Monika didi said. “Alright,” my mom kissed me on my forehead and

went outside the room.

“Hi! Bhai,
Kaisa hai ab
?” “
Thik hoon
, how are you?”

“
Bas tu jaldi thik hoja hum sab theek ho jaenge…”

I smiled at Monika Di, she asked me if I wanted to talk to Megha.

I took my cell phone which she had, I check my Whatsapp and there were a lot of messages from Megha.

“
Babu, jaldi thik ho, mai tera wait kar rahi hu
…”

“I am dying to see you, please get well soon…”

“
I Love you
, please come back soon and I’ll never go away from you now…”

“
Jab
message
padho
, please smile and miss me a lot…” “I have told
Bhagwan ji, ki mujhe bimar kar do par
meri Jaan ko thik kar do jaldi se
…”

“I am sorry, you are the best, I Love you a lot
shona
get well soon…” I called her.

She picked up the phone on the first ring and said, “I was waiting for your call, tell me how are you and if you are missing me or not!”

“I am fine, and I am missing you a lot, now when you are back I’ll be fine soon.”

“Hello! Megha, Monika this side. Doctor said if he will remain conscious for the next 24 hours, we can take him home. He is not allowed to talk on the phone so, I have to disconnect your call. Sorry…”

“
I Love you
,” I shouted over the phone.

She asked Monika di to pass me a flying kiss.

I am damn happy today, she is back, she is back, she is back, yippee…

“
Ab tujhe neend to aaegi nahi, aur tu kal tak hosh me bhi rahega, and kal tu discharge bhi ho jaega
,” Monika didi said smiling at me.

“Di! Tell me one thing, who informed Megha about my accident and how did she come back to me?”

“Preeti called her. She informed her about your accident, she told her how you were behaving since last few days and I also tried to convince her that you are incomplete without her and you need her badly in your life. She said she never wanted to hurt you; she always loved you and wanted you to prove yourself and bring her back into your life.”

“She said you are a nice man but you are equally bad when you are angry, and she hated this about you. She broke up with you to make you realize that your anger can only burn your relationship; in the future you have to learn to delete possessiveness and anger from your life if you want her back, but when she realized that you are so madly in love with her that you actually met an accident while thinking about her all the times, she took a chance and came back for you…”

“Now when she is back, you have to prove her that you will now change for her; that you will be a better man, you will love her more and care for her more. And especially that you will never get angry with her and will never shout on her. Do you understand? You will never be possessive and will always support her instead of asking her questions. She has given you a chance as a friend once again and you cannot ask her to come back to the relationship until she is ready for it…”

“But Di! She said
I Love you
to me…”

“Yes I know, she loves you, but she says when you are back home, you have to start analyzing your mistakes and change yourself so that she doesn’t have to break it again and she will be back forever when she realizes that you are a changed man…”

“Okay! I’ll try my best Di.”

She smiled at me and left the room, it was night time so the lights were off in a few minutes and I was waiting for the next day so that I could go home and talk to Megha.

18th October, 2014

I was awake whole night thinking about what all I have to do and wondering when I could go back home. In the morning the paper work got completed and after all the formalities I was free to go home.

But the most important thing was that my love, my Megha was back now and I loved her so much that to get her back in my life I thought that I am ready to get hospitalized for the rest of my life.

Finally, I was back home. I called her up, and she was happy to know about my well-being. I promised her that everything was going to be fine now and she need not worry about me anymore. I hung up as everybody at my home was around me and they were taking extra care of me. My cute little sister Lovika was with me the whole time, I don’t know what was going inside her head but she was showing intense care for me. She asked me to switch off the mobile as the doctor has advised me not to take stress. I was wondering if she even knew the meaning of stress, but I go surprised when she took my phone and kept it under the pillow and asked me to lay down and take rest. The innocence of a small child could make you happy at the worst time of your life.

20th October, 2014 (Monika Di’s House)

After getting a checkup done in the hospital, I went to Monika Di’s house which was on the way. In the evening me, my cousins Deepika Di and Saurabh, went to have some ‘Gol Gappas’ in the market. We were having fun by taking some funny photographs of each other and suddenly I saw a beautiful girl coming towards us. Everyone started looking at her and I was trying to remember who she was. When she came closer I realized she was Anamika, who met me in Deepika Di’s Marriage a year back and we became very good friends in no time, but I had not had any conversation with her since last 9 months as our friendship did not last for more than 3 months.

She came to me and said ‘Hi’ to me. I knew she was going to talk to me and everyone around us got surprised to know that we knew each other. Imagine a situation where people are dying to take an autograph from Katrina Kaif and she comes to you… you will feel like a celebrity. Anamika was nothing less than the Katrina of that town and everyone got jealous of me as she was talking to me and ignoring everybody else there.

Tough we met after a long time and we had some unsolved problems between us. We met each other like nothing had happened between us. I asked her if she would like to have some ‘Gol Gappas’ with us, but she said she had to buy some stuff from the market so she would have to leave. She left for the market and soon we were back to Monika Di’s house.

In the evening my Facebook messenger gave me a message, which was from Anamika. She said it’s been long time since we haven’t talked to each other and she was surprised to see me in her town today and I was surprised too that she was back in my life at this stage where everything was messed up and was unstable. We became friends again by adding each other on Facebook and I was confused on all the things which were happening to me.

21st October, 2015

Megha was busy in visiting her relatives as during the festival season; in Agarwal families we have a trend of giving a lot of gifts and sweets to the daughters and sisters of our family, especially those daughters and sisters who are married. We rarely had time to talk to each other but it was okay, as we also needed to give a break to each other so that the wounded relationship could heal.

Anamika and I did not exchange phone numbers as we never wanted to get back to the situation where we have been a year back. Let me take you to the flash back. (November 2014) My Mom and I were attending

Deepika Di’s marriage; Anamika is the daughter of my mom’s friend and also a relative of Deepika Di. She was invited by Deepika Di’s family to attend the marriage. Anamika was looking very beautiful in her golden anarkali style kurta with her long black hair. Her smile was her most dazzling ornament and she was perfect at giving it to others. Of course when you are in a relationship you cannot fall in love with every girl; something which you can do only when you are single. She was attractive and everyone was constantly looking at her only.

While she was sitting besides Preeti Di and Mom in front of Me, Deepika di and few others, Preeti di suggested to my mom that she get me married to Anamika as she was the most beautiful girl out there. But my mom refused and said she was not the prefect one for my son. I was surprised to see that a beautiful girl got rejected by my mom and that too on her face, so directly.

After the marriage I saw her on my list of Facebook mutual friends and sent her a friend request which she accepted. Her first message to me was, “Why did your mom reject me?” and I had no answer for it. I said, “I don’t know but maybe there is no reason behind rejecting you…” mischievously.

Such chats with each other as strangers to each other and that too so comfortably made us good friends in no time. We started chatting over Wechat, and sometimes over the phone too. She started caring for me like a best friend and I was happy that she cared for me. She was a good person and she used to ask me all the normal things which a ‘Best Friend’ would ask and I did not have any problem with that. I liked everything in her and I thought she was perfect in everything and in every way. She also liked me and thought I was a perfect guy, within a month she knew me inside out but she could never know that I had a girlfriend and I did not realize that a sort of infatuation was developing between us.