JACK (24 page)

I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see. I stopped and so did Noah. I pressed my face against the floor trying to find cooler air. Pieces of crisp flesh clung to my cheek.

I was so tired. All I wanted to do was close my eyes.

Noah pulled on my shirt. If we stayed here we would die.

I pushed myself back up.

More people wandered out of the fire. All I could think about was how quiet they were. Bodies on fire, wandered around us like lost souls. Since the initial explosion no one had made any sounds. The only yelling now came from A hall. Fists beat against the doors and angry screams were drowned out by the rush of flames.

We left the roar of fire as we headed down the other hall. I recognized James, propped up against the wall. Half his face was nothing more than a wad of bubbled flesh, and the fingers of his right hand were curled. Blood flecked his lips and his eyes were blistered into cloudy white orbs. Two more bodies were close by. I recognized them as residents but I didn’t know their names. Eyes wide, mouths open, they looked surprised. Except for some soot on their arms and faces, they weren’t burned. Black ringed their lips.

There weren’t many occupied rooms down on this end of the hospital. The flames had spared them but the smoke coiled around their faces. Propped up on beds, I could see them staring at nothing while the heat clinging to the ceiling above us cooked the flesh from their scalps and set their hair on fire. None of them moved to get away.

We found Dr. Chance lying at the end of the hall, near the door to the stairwell. Tears streamed down his cheeks. His crisp blue shirt had been burned away to nothing along with most of his pants. Thick ropes of flesh lay in wrinkled folds across his stomach and thighs. Most of his right hand was gone and what was left had fused with the key ring he had clutched in his grip.

I thought he was dead until he said my name. “Don’t leave me.”

Dr. Chance’s foot was on fire and I beat out the flames with my hands, burning my fingers. I grabbed him by his good arm. His weight fought against my strength. I came out from under the blanket so I could get a better grip on him. Smoke made me gag. Tears made me blind. Hot flesh tore under my hands when I pulled.

I yanked with everything I had but the smoke and heat sucked away my strength.

Noah put a hand on my wrist. His gaze met mine and I saw him. The real him.

“We can’t leave him.”

His hand tightened.

“Noah, we can’t…”

Noah took my hand and opened it. The key was almost imbedded in my palm from holding it so tight. He took it from me, leaving a flesh colored spot among the black and red. He held the key up between us.

“Noah, he’s alive.”

Noah said nothing. Tears from the smoke cut clean lines though the dirt on his face. He coughed but his expression remained blank.

“We can’t just leave him.”

“Please, Jacqueline…” Dr. Chance’s charcoaled fingers curled into the sleeve of my tunic. “Help me!” He pulled, yanking me down on top of him. Skin clung to my arms and hands and his smoldering clothes burned me where they made contact.

“We’re trying.” I moved to sit back up but he wouldn’t let go. His other hand dug into my hair and it got tangled in the key ring. The sharp pain made the fire down the hall seem brighter and the smoke thicker. I yanked but he wouldn’t let go.

“Help me, goddamn it!” His hand twisted and I screamed.

“Stop it!” I punched him in the face and his lip tore.

“You can’t leave me! I won’t let you leave me! You’ll never make it out of here without me!” He snarled and his lips cracked.

I pulled my knees out from under me, getting my legs between us, and kicked him in the ribs with my feet. Dr. Chance wailed as he fell back with his hand high in the air like he was giving some sort of salute to the inferno. Thick curls of brown hair stuck up from his clenched fist.

Fear transformed his madness into pleas. “Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

I crawled with Noah down the hall.

“Don’t go! Please Jacqueline, don’t leave me here!”

Noah gave me the key and I opened the door.

The stairwell was clear of fire and smoke. It felt like an icebox after the hall. I had no idea how hot it had been out there until the stale air funneled into my lungs. I coughed once and then couldn’t seem to stop. Noah put his hand on my cheek.

“I’m just catching my breath.” But we didn’t have time. We didn’t have time to even breathe. I tried to stand up and found I couldn’t. We made our way up the stairs on hands and knees. My palms stung from the glass and heat. My face felt cracked. Noah’s cheeks were bright red like he’d spent hours in the sun. The scars on his arms were even worse. As if the fire had somehow stoked the old burns back to life.

We got to the top. I stuck the key in the lock. It wouldn’t turn.

“No!” I tried again and still nothing. I looked at the knob. It had been brass colored before, now it was silver. They’d changed it. I screamed and beat against door. “No! No! No!”

We were so close. So damn close. I sat back and buried my face in my hands.

Noah’s lips brushed my ear. “Keys.”

“It doesn’t fit! They changed it!” I showed him. “They changed it, Noah!”

He stared down the steps. I followed his gaze. Dr. Chance had said we couldn’t leave without him.

“Wait here.” Noah grabbed my arm. “Noah…” His cracked lips pressed against my temple. “I promise. I’ll be right back.” Panic pushed me down the steps.

Back in the hall it was still an inferno, but the flames had receded. More bodies littered the floor. Some alive, some dying. Dr. Chance was right where we’d left him.

“You came back!” He smiled through the tears. “You came back for me.”

“Yeah.” I reached for the key ring.

“See. You need me. You can’t get out!” He laughed.

I grabbed a handful of keys and pulled. He yanked back and rattled them in the air. “You can’t leave without me. You can’t!” He threw his arms wide and his hand smacked against the brick, leaving flesh behind.

I grabbed his arm and tried to twist the keys from his hand. Flesh tore. His fingers clenched.

“I’m not letting you go without me. I won’t let you go without me.”

He was too heavy. We’d never make it with him. I looked around, and found a large piece of brick. It was heavy in my hands. My muscles quivered as I lifted it over my head.

“You can’t leave. You can’t leave!” The way he said it was almost a song. It reminded me of Emma. He laughed again, eyes wide. He wasn’t watching me now. He gazed at the burning bodies scattered around us.

I was glad he wasn’t looking at me. I didn’t have to see his eyes when I smashed the brick into the side of his head.

Now I was a liar, a Judas, a thief, and a killer.

Out on the roof the rain had stopped and the lightning had turned into small flickering bursts behind the clouds. This high up the wind ripped through us. I welcomed it. The damp air, the cold, it soothed my aching skin and washed the blood off my hands. I climbed over the ladder straddling the wall. Noah remained by the edge.

“C’mon.”

He didn’t move.

“C’mon, Noah, we have to climb down.”

His gaze was on the horizon. I reached over and pulled him to me. The keys fell from my hand to the sidewalk below. I could hear the sirens off in the distance. Around the edge of the building, everyone filled the parking lot to watch the fire race through the building. It seemed the medical side of the hospital had been spared by the storm.

A loud boom shattered the silence and my foot slipped off the rung. I curled my toes over the edge to keep from being thrown off.

Noah stumbled into the concrete lip but seemed unaware he’d almost toppled over.

“Lift your leg.” Noah blinked several times but didn’t look at me. “Lift your leg. I can’t pick you up.” He bent his knee and I pulled him backward, putting his foot on the rung. The rubber soles of his shoes squeaked. His other leg was more difficult until I figured out to put his hands on the rails first.

“Now, step down.” He did. “Again.” His hand slipped and I pressed my chest to his back, keeping him in place. “C’mon, Noah, I need you to work with me.” Smoke coiled up from the windows below and orange flames broke through the concrete.

We kept going. One rung at a time. I counted them, and then quit after I reached eighty. A few feet from the ground the ladder shifted. Above us chunks of brick rained down. I covered Noah with my shoulders. Small pebbles bit into my back.

A few more steps and the feel of solid ground and wet grass seemed like a dream. Red flashes of light joined the lightning. The firemen turned their hoses on the building and the shush of water competed with the crackle and rumble of flames.

There were people just around the corner. They could help us. They could get us clean clothes and take care of our wounds. They could also take us away from each other.

On the other side was a field, then a thick line of trees. It looked black against the gray sky. I didn’t know what was out there. We could starve or die of thirst, or the animals could eat us. But I knew by now there were worse things than death.

I grabbed Noah’s hand and we headed towards the woods.

*** *** ***

From the shadows we watched the ambulances gather to collect the injured and the coroner come for the dead. There were so many bodies they had to lay them out in rows on the sidewalk. Wrapped in blue blankets they looked like Pick-up-Sticks.

Noah stood beside me as silent as the trees. The leaves were thin and the faint light broke through, painting his face in a series of silver lines and highlighted shadows. Covered in soot and dressed in gray scrubs, we all but sank into the darkness. I held Noah’s hand because I was afraid he’d be swallowed by the forest and swept away.

When the news van showed up we left. Leaves clung to our legs and feet. Sticks snapped like firecrackers with every step. I didn’t worry about anyone hearing us. Everyone was concentrating on the fire. Black smoke weighed down by the rain blanketed the trees. Even when we were miles away I could still smell the bitter scent of burning plastics and the sweeter odor of burning flesh.

I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to us. I only knew we couldn’t go back. They’d take us away. Lock us up. I don’t think it was the fear of having part of my brain cut out that drove me to keep walking, but the fear of losing a piece of my soul.

Noah stopped and so did I.

“What’s wrong?”

He pointed.

I squinted into the shadows. The sun was almost gone now and with the clouds it was nighttime under the trees. I saw the window first then found the wall of the barn it was carved in. The wood structure was the color of the trees and blanketed in moss, all but consumed by nature. Up close, I could smell animals. The scent was strong enough to rival the stench of smoke in our skin and hair. Beyond the building was the tree line and I could see a small white house. A single light burned in one of the windows.

We went in the barn. There was fresh hay all on the floor and a cow stood at the far end where the doors were open. A small group of geese made angry protests as I led Noah into the feed stall. There were no animal droppings in here. I broke open one of the bales and we lay down.

Night closed in and the last of the heat was leached out of our skin. Noah shivered. I pulled the rest of the bale over us. We’d itch tomorrow but at least we’d be warm tonight.

I put my arms around him and he held me back. For the first time in months I found true peace and slept.

The gas main explosion at the Meadow Wood Psychiatric Hospital was still making the news six months later. Now instead of pictures of the burning building and body bags, they showed clips from the court room of families waiting to hear the verdict on their lawsuit against the hospital. The defense’s argument was that the lightning had been an act of God no one could have prevented.

Noah and my name appeared among the hundred and twelve missing and presumed dead. If the lawsuit went in favor of the families, Emma was finally going to get her inheritance.

When the final count had been made, over eighty victims had been accounted for. Unidentified pieces had been buried in a communal grave. Six survived. I only recognized the man who’d always wandered the hall wearing the diaper. The rest had been too severely burned.

In between blurbs about the lawsuit, there were snippets from Atlanta’s City Hall, where people picketed for new legislation to improve safety conditions in all the hospitals across the state. Experts talked about requiring fire exits and sprinkler systems, while the board members argued about the cost and how it would make care for the average citizen unaffordable.

I turned off the small black and white TV sitting on the counter next to the toaster and finished cutting up the watermelon I’d gotten from the produce stand down the road. It had cost me a whole fifty cents but it was worth it. I’d been waiting all winter to get to eat watermelon with Noah.

A knocking sound came from the back porch. “I’m hurrying. If I go any faster I’ll cut off my thumb.”

The wood sighed under my feet as I carried two large slices and a dish towel out the door. I put the slices between us. It was a warm day for May so I took Noah’s shirt off.

“No need to get messier than we need to.”

He smiled and so did I.

“Now.” I broke off a piece and slipped it between his lips. Noah’s eyes fluttered shut and his nostrils flared. His tongue pushed against my fingers as he sucked. “You like that?”

He nodded.

I gave him another.

When I moved, the card in my pocket crinkled. “Oh, I almost forgot.” I put down the watermelon and pulled out the wrinkled postcard. “Look who wrote us.” I pointed to Elliot’s name. The ink was smudged. I wasn’t too sure but I think he’d been crying when he wrote it. “He got our card and wrote back.”

Noah touched it then looked at me.

“He won’t tell.”

Besides I didn’t sign the post card I’d sent him or write anything on it. The return address was the stable where I worked. It was owned by a woman named Helen. Her girlfriend went by Kelly. They had no problems with calling me Jack.