Japanese Slang (14 page)

When Things Go Wrong

The first sign that a criminal project might be jinxed is
awaji,
bumping into a policeman on the way to the job. Even if the officer smiles, and pleasantly tips his cap, many high-strung looters will stop in their tracks and abort the mission.

Meeting a policeman while one is kneeling in front of a gate, the picking pin lodged in the lock, is a more grievous issue. The underworld rocks with laughter at the hapless burglar so caught, and pronounces him
pikari
(flashed) and
hanbe
(“waited upon,” from
hanberu).
To ward off arrest and mockery, the careful clans post sentries. At the first sign of a patrol car or a uniformed officer these men and women will hiss one of the many thiefwords for cop:
b
furi!
(stick swinger),
surikogi!
(wooden pestle),
enma!
(devil),
hige!
(beard),
hoshi!
(star),
k
-sama!
(mommy),
udonya!
(noodle vendor) or, on a lighter note,
pii-chan!
(little Mr. P). On hearing these warning words thieves will cram their widgets and jiggers into their tool bags and run.

The secret words for “cop!” can save lives at every stage, and gangs throughout Japan glut andre-glut their vocabularies with synonyms and metaphors. Foreigners often marvel at the abundance of animal imagery: policemen can be
aobuta
(blue pigs),
en
(monkeys),
etek
(apes),
karasu
(crows),
aokarasu
(blue crows),
itachi
(weasels),
ahiru
(ducks)
hayabusa
(falcons),
ah
dori
(“idiotic birds,” or albatrosses),
k
(“dogs,” from the Korean
kae), barori
(Korean for pig), and
koyani
(“cat,” from the Korean
koyangi).
Officers even turn into insects such as
hachi
(bees),
dani
(ticks),
kuma
(spiders),
mushi
(bugs), and
kejirami
(pubic lice).

There is more to the unusually large number of Japanese street words for police than just the burglars' fevered linguistic imaginations. The code words often carry with them reams of useful information. Is the policeman armed? Is he in a car? Does he look aggressive? Is the gang a match for him?
Inta!
for instance, means “Careful, there's an officer patrolling the neighborhood!”
P
k
!
stands for, “Patrol car! Run for your life!” Equally alarming is
gokiburi
(cock-roach). The policeman in this case is on a motorcycle, and can follow the burglars over pavements and through parks.
Kijirushi
(devil's mark) implies that a whole mobile unit is arriving and there is no point in running. The looters are cornered, and might as well line up on the pavement with their hands up.

The secret words can also tell us about the policeman's character and disposition.
Yaba (from yabai,
“dangerous”) is a tough, fierce-looking officer, while
wank
(woof woof) is the type who looks hottempered and irritable.
Oji
(uncle) is a dangerous middle-aged patrolman who knows all the members of the gang by name and is liable to blow the whistle first and ask questions later.
Kazaguruma
(windmill) is an officer who circles the streets and alleys, getting closer and closer to the area where the criminals are working. The most dangerous are
oyahine
(daddy gnarl),
oyadama
(daddybull.et), and
bune
(ocean liner), who are all chief inspectors. If these august men appear in person, then one of the gang must be
aori
(stimulator), an undercover agent, or worse,
aka-chan
(little Mr. Red), an informer, and the criminals' stealing days are over.

Other coded warnings are of a happier nature.
Aokuri
means, “It's only a traffic cop, act natural.”
Daikon megane
(radish with glasses) means, “Relax, the officer is new and an obvious hick.”
Akapori
(red police),
hime
(princess),
poriman
(a contraction of “police” and “woman”), and
suke
(bitch) herald the arrival of a female officer or officers. The sexist undertone of this language is, “Don't worry, it's just a woman.”

Ethnic Korean and Chinese words for police are especially popular among Japanese burglars. The words are tough, they are exotic, and probably unknown to the all-Japanese police force. Tokyo's Korean words, like
kum
gi, komucha,
and
chonbu,
imply that the policeman is in uniform, while the Yokohama jargon gives plainclothesmen names of Chinese background like
tsuai, rinhatsu, tamu,
and
oa.