Jezebel (12 page)

“O
h, Traynor, I'm so glad we moved here,” Jessie Belle said as they removed the ornaments from the Christmas tree. “Raleigh is a beautiful city.” She glanced out a nearby window. “I was hoping for a white Christmas, but it didn't happen.”

“If the weatherman is correct, we should have a white New Year's, though.” Traynor handed her a silver ornament. “I'm glad you like it here.”

Jessie Belle put a handful of ornaments into a plastic container. “I love living here in Raleigh, Traynor. These last three months have been the best.”

He agreed. “I think moving here was the best decision for us. Things have been peaceful. I'm glad that we're back on track. I felt like things were pretty shaky between us after the miscarriage.”

“I was angry,” Jessie Belle admitted. “I blamed you, but mostly, I blamed Cynthia and Atkinson. It really wasn't anybody's fault. I see that now.”

She'd played the guilt card against Traynor for the first couple of months after their arrival in Raleigh. Jessie Belle used his own feelings of remorse to get new furniture and the three-quarter-carat diamond engagement ring she was now wearing with her wedding band.

Jessie Belle took Traynor by the hand and led him over to the sofa and sat down, saying, “Honey, there's something I want to talk to you about.”

He sat down beside her. “What is it?”

“You know we've been thinking about trying to get pregnant again, but I wanted some time….”

Traynor's eyes lit up with joy. “Are you ready to try?”

Smiling, Jessie Belle nodded. “I've been given a clean bill of health and a bottle of prenatal vitamins. I wanted to get our first Christmas out of the way. With this being New Year's Eve—I figured making a baby was a wonderful and romantic way to bring in a new year.”

“Praise the Lord.”

She laughed. “That's not quite the words I thought I'd hear from you.”

Slowly and seductively, Traynor's gaze slid downward. “I can't wait to make a baby with you, Jessie Belle.”

Her gaze met his. “Why wait?”

He stood up and said, “We'll finish taking down the tree later.”

Jessie Belle and Traynor made their way quickly to their bedroom.

Later in bed, Jessie Belle counted her blessings while Traynor slept. She felt like her life was finally back to normal since they'd left Atlanta. Now they could focus on the future.

There would be no distractions this time, she vowed.

Traynor decided to surprise his wife by cooking and serving her breakfast in bed.

“Everything smells delicious,” Jessie Belle murmured. “How long have you been up?”

“A couple of hours. I went downstairs to spend some quiet time with God and then I thought, why don't I make breakfast for my beautiful wife? So that's what I did.”

He was such a thoughtful man and Traynor treated her like a queen. Jessie Belle didn't know exactly when it happened, but she'd fallen in love with her husband.

Truly loved him.

Smiling, Jessie Belle patted the empty space beside her. “Why don't you join me?”

Traynor carried the tray over to the bed and then climbed in, joining Jessie Belle. “This is the first time I've ever tried to make an omelet.”

“Honey, it looks good. You did a wonderful job.” She gave Traynor a sidelong glance. “Is there anything that you don't do well?”

He reached for a glass of orange juice. “There's a lot, I'm sure.”

“I think you are possibly the most humble man I've ever met.” Jessie Belle sliced off a piece of the bacon, mushroom, tomato and cheese omelet. She stuck a forkful into her mouth.

“I hear from a lot of other pastors that their wives complain about how much time they spend at the church, but you're so different. You actually encourage me to make myself available to the members.”

“Ministering is your passion, Traynor. It's your calling—I recognize that. And don't forget, my father is a pastor. This is the way I grew up. I'm not threatened by your calling—some pastors' wives are, I guess.”

“I love that you trust me like this, Jessie Belle. You've taught me a lot on that subject.” Traynor's mind traveled back to the night he listened to Cynthia and her lies. A wave of guilt washed over him.

“The past is the past,” Jessie Belle murmured. “We have our entire future ahead of us, Traynor. I love you and I'm looking forward to having a baby with you.”

“I'm a very lucky man to have a woman like you in my life.”

Jessie Belle fed him some of the omelet. “I hope you'll always feel this way.”

“I can't imagine why I wouldn't,” Traynor responded. He finished off his orange juice.

The first weekend of the New Year, Mary Ellen Reed and her husband drove up to Raleigh for the weekend.

Jessie Belle greeted her friend with a big hug. “I'm so glad you finally made it here. I've missed you so much, Mary Ellen.”

“I knew you were helping out at the church, and then Richard and I were going through our mess,” Mary Ellen explained. “I just didn't want to be around anybody.”

“So are things better now between you two?”

“They're better than they used to be. He just woke up one day and started acting a fool.”

“Mary Ellen, leave him if you have to—you can always come up here to Raleigh.”

“I appreciate that, but I'll be okay.”

Mary Ellen hadn't been real forthcoming about her marital troubles, but Jessie Belle wasn't offended. She wanted to spend her energies on her own marriage. She and Traynor had a nice house, but she was already feeling crowded after seeing some of the grand homes the city had to offer, so they really didn't need another body in the house.

“Let's go into the kitchen,” Jessie Belle suggested. “I'll fix us some lunch.”

“So what's been going on back on Cable Lane?” she asked, handing Mary Ellen a glass of iced tea. “How do you like the new neighbors?”

“They're alright—nothing like you and Traynor.” Mary Ellen sipped her drink. “Cynthia's still running around talking about how you threatened her.”

“She'd better be glad this job came through for Traynor. Otherwise, I'd probably be stuffing her body somewhere.”

Mary Ellen laughed.

“I'm serious,” Jessie Belle said quietly. “If we'd stayed in Atlanta, she'd be dead and buried somewhere.”

Mary Ellen didn't respond.

Jessie Belle made a stack of ham and cheese sandwiches, put them on a plate and carried it over to the table. She went back and grabbed the pitcher of iced tea, putting it on the table, too.

Mary Ellen walked over to the window and looked out. “I really like it up here.”

“There are lots of colleges in Raleigh. You and Richard should consider moving up here.”

“He actually mentioned that on the way up here,” Mary Ellen responded. “He's ready to leave Morehouse.”

“I hope y'all will do it—you're my only real friend, Mary Ellen. It'll be so nice to have you nearby.” Placing her hand to her stomach, she added, “Especially when the baby comes.”

Mary Ellen's eyebrows rose in surprise. “Oh my goodness! You're pregnant again?”

Jessie Belle laughed. “Not yet, but we've just started trying.”

“That's wonderful.”

“What about you and Richard? Are you two ready to become parents?”

Mary Ellen shook her head no. “We decided a long time ago that we weren't going to have children. Richard has one from a previous relationship and he doesn't get to see him much—too much mess with the mama.”

Mary Ellen walked back to the table and sat down. “Besides, I'm not exactly maternal.”

“So did you apply for the station manager position?” Jessie Belle inquired.

“No.”

Jessie Belle wiped her mouth on the end of her napkin. “Mary Ellen, why not?”

“They're not gonna give me the job. I'm the wrong skin color for the position.”

“Mary Ellen, sometimes you have to fight dirty for what you want. Do you know any of their dark secrets—something you can use against them?”

She gave Jessie Belle a confused look. “Like what?”

“Anything they wouldn't want anyone else to know.”

Mary Ellen shook her head. “No. Jessie Belle, it's not that serious. They gave me a raise and I'm happy.”

“You shouldn't sell yourself so short or so cheaply.” Pushing away from the table, Jessie Belle rose to her feet. “When you want something—go after it with everything you have. That's the only way to succeed.”

“I'll remember that,” Mary Ellen uttered.

J
essie Belle rubbed her swollen belly. At seven months pregnant, she was finding it harder and harder to find a comfortable position in any chair.

She and her mother were in a store going through pattern book after pattern book, looking for the perfect wallpaper for the baby's room.

“I like this one.”

“That is a nice one,” Anabeth agreed. “But what about this one here? It has the same bold colors you're looking for.”

Jessie Belle eyed the sample. “Oh, yeah…that's real nice, Ma. I think I actually like that one better.”

“How are things between you and Traynor since leaving Atlanta?”

“Good,” Jessie Belle answered. “It was the best decision for us. Thank the Lord we don't have any more crazy church members. Those two that we left in Atlanta…” She shook her head sadly. “Just pitiful.”

Lowering her voice, Anabeth said, “I warned you to be careful. I told you a man like that don't like to take no for an answer. He and that girl was trying to break up you and Traynor for sure.”

“I know, Ma. But it's over now. We're in Raleigh and my baby's healthy. I'll just be glad when it's here.”

“I still say that baby is gonna be born on Christmas Day,” Anabeth stated.

“You keep saying that, Ma, but I'm not due until December twenty-eighth. The baby might not come until January.”

“I just believe it in my spirit. Don't go planning no big dinner or nothing for that day.”

Jessie Belle laughed. “I wasn't. Traynor and I just want a quiet holiday. We had a big Christmas last year. The next one will be after the baby comes.”

After deciding on the wallpaper, Jessie Belle and her mother left and headed to Crabtree Valley Mall in search of crib bedding.

An hour later, Jessie Belle took her mother to lunch.

“I think we should check one more store before getting the comforter set we saw at JCPenney's,” she told Anabeth.

“You don't like that one?”

“I like it, Ma. I'm not wild about it, though.” Jessie Belle picked up her menu. “Do you know what you're going to order?”

“I think I want shrimp and grits. You've talked so much about it—I think I'ma try some.”

Jessie Belle broke into a smile. “Ma, you're going to love it. It's addictive.”

The waiter came and took their drink and food orders.

When he left, Anabeth eyed her daughter. “How are things between you and Traynor's folks?”

“They don't really talk to me and when Traynor asks them to come visit, they always say that his father isn't feeling well enough to travel. I don't think they're telling the truth. If they were—seems like he should be dead by now.”

“Jessie Belle, that's not a nice thing to say,” Anabeth admonished.

“Well, it's true. It's not like I'm wishing him dead. I'm just saying that if he's that sick, I'm surprised he's still alive.”

“Maybe once you have this baby, things will change.”

“I hope so. It bothers Traynor, I can tell. At least he knows it's not anything I'm doing. If they force him to choose—I know he'll choose me.”

Anabeth smiled. “Good. That's what you want him to do.”

“Ma, I have Traynor exactly where I want him. I followed your instructions to the tee. I am the never-ending supportive wife.”

“Do you love him?”

Jessie Belle nodded. “I do, Ma. I didn't when we first got married—I liked him a lot, but he's such a good husband. I couldn't help but fall in love with Traynor. He treats me like a queen. I just wish he were a bit more ambitious, though.”

“He'll come around,” Anabeth assured her. “You just got to keep on pushing him forward. I had to push your daddy to run for ECC president. He's never been much into stuff like that, but I knew he was capable.”

“I've been encouraging Traynor to align himself with some of Raleigh's more prominent pastors.”

Anabeth nodded her approval. “They'll help groom him. And everybody trusts your daddy. Our church may not be as large as the ones in the city, but your daddy has power. When he talks—people listen. He been putting the word out about his son-in-law, so all Traynor has to do is step out.”

“He will,” Jessie Belle stated. “I'll see to it.”

A sharp, knifelike pain sliced through Jessie Belle, jolting her awake. She glanced over at the clock on the nightstand.

Twelve fifteen a.m.

It's Christmas Day.

She sat up in bed for a moment, waiting. Jessie Belle had had Braxton-Hicks contractions from time to time over the past couple of weeks, but this one felt more intense.

She lay back down and waited to see if another would follow.

Nothing.

She drifted off to sleep.

Jessie Belle woke up two hours later when she felt a sharp contraction.

She had another one while showering, but assumed it was just another Braxton-Hicks contraction since she wasn't due for a few more days and the doctor had already told her she most likely would go past her due date.

Jessie Belle woke up her sleeping husband. “Traynor, I think I'm in labor,” she announced.

“You're having contractions?”

“Yes.”

“I thought the doctor said you'd go past your due date.”

“Honey, I think our baby changed his or her mind.” Jessie Belle braced herself for another contraction. She groaned. “I'm not liking this at all.
It hurts
.”

Traynor began tracking the time of her contractions: about twenty seconds every fifteen minutes.

Jessie Belle managed to make a cup of hot tea, put two slices of bread into the toaster, fry some bacon and scramble two eggs. She wanted to make sure Traynor had a full stomach. She figured she'd be needing him later on.

While he ate, Jessie Belle called her parents and Mary Ellen to tell them that she was in labor.

An hour later, her contractions were coming faster.

Traynor called the doctor.

“It's time for us to leave for the hospital,” he announced.

“We're all set,” Jessie Belle responded. “I want to freshen up before we leave, though. The suitcase is packed and already in the trunk of your car. It's a good thing you put it in there last week.”

Jessie Belle went into her bedroom.

Ten minutes later, she walked out, having changed into a maternity dress. “I didn't feel right in my nightgown,” she explained.

They headed out to the car.

Jessie Belle was hit with another contraction once they were on the road.

“I don't like pain,” she complained. “You have to know I love you, Traynor. Going through labor is no joke.”

Jessie Belle didn't like being so out of control.

Elias and Anabeth Holt arrived the day after Holt Jefferson Deveraux was born, to see their first grandchild.

While Traynor and his father-in-law were at the church, Jessie Belle watched her mother feed and change the baby before rocking him to sleep.

“I knew he was gonna be a Christmas baby. I told you.”

“I know, Ma. You were right. What can I say?”

Admiring her grandson, Anabeth confessed, “I was a bit surprised that you didn't name him after Traynor.”

“He didn't want me to,” she responded from the bed. Traynor had insisted that she stay in bed for the next couple of days despite her pleas that she felt fine and could sit on the sofa.

“Besides, I like using Holt as a first name,” Jessie Belle stated. “It's a strong name and in honor of Papa. It sounds very sophisticated and classy.”

“Your daddy was happy when you told him.” Anabeth returned her gaze to the sleeping newborn. “Traynor's a proud father,” she uttered. “He can't take his eyes off that baby.”

“Why shouldn't he be?” Jessie Belle questioned. “Ma, I've given him a beautiful and healthy son. Traynor has every right to be proud. Holt's going to attend prestigious private schools—he's going to have the best of everything. When he's older, he'll follow in Traynor's footsteps. We just got to get his daddy on the ball. Traynor's too content with where he is right now. He's not trying to do better.”

Jessie Belle glanced over at her mother. “What is it, Ma? You look as if you want to say something. Just come out with it.”

Anabeth moved her chair closer. “Jessie Belle, you have to be careful in the way you handle Traynor. You can't make him feel less of a man.”

“That's why I've been biting my tongue, but I'm getting tired. We should be further than we are right now. Traynor acts like he's afraid to ask for a raise or something. We have a child to think of—I shouldn't have to tell him to ask for more money.”

“Give yourself a chance to recover from childbirth and just wait and see what your husband's gonna do,” Anabeth advised. “If he don't do nothing, then it's time to say something to him.”

“Ma, I need to know something. Why did you accept those gifts from other men?”

“We needed stuff, and not enough money to get what we needed. If a man wanted to give me a token of his appreciation—I accepted, but I never slept with any of them.”

“Did you ever tell Papa?”

Anabeth shook her head no. “No need to stir in a pot of trouble. He was my husband and Elias is proud and he's a jealous man. He once asked a man to leave church because he was trying to get familiar with me. Sometimes beauty can get you into trouble, gal. Men are drawn to you like honey, but if you don't stay in control…beauty can be a curse.”

“Ma, I'm not gonna make the same mistake twice. I love my husband and I don't want to hurt him. I just want him to be the man I know he can be, though. I hate going behind his back to get what I want.
I just hate it
.”

“Secrets can be a burden at times,” Anabeth stated. “Lawd, I know from firsthand experience.”

Jessie Belle eyed her mother. “But they are sometimes necessary.”