Jolt! (28 page)

How does this relate to you and your future?

By understanding influence, you begin to understand how to impact people's behavior. But there are some critical keys to understanding the role influence plays in our lives.

Real influence is not about manipulation.

We're not trying to control people and force them to bend to our will. We want our audience, our business associates, our customers, or the greater culture to be influenced in a positive way—to make their lives better, more fulfilled, and more successful. As you learned in “Negotiating 101,” when you force your opponents to comply, you may get their bodies, but you don't win their minds. And to be successful, your audience must want what you're selling, and want it from the heart.

Real influence requires integrity.

When I started directing actors, the first rule I learned was a good actor must always honestly listen to the other actors. Bad actors don't listen during a scene; they're just thinking of what line to say next. The result of that approach is cheesy, corny, and simply bad acting. One of the critical keys to being a great actor is to learn to listen effectively to the other actors in the scene. In the same way, you must be willing to honestly empathize and care for your clients and customers. A “glazed over” look during a business meeting can be spotted a mile away. You have to be sincere because sincerity can be felt. Study after study indicates that true integrity is the cornerstone of a successful personal and business life.

» SURE YOU CAN CON YOUR WAY FOR A WHILE, BUT SOONER OR LATER (USUALLY SOONER) IT ALWAYS CATCHES UP.

In the book
Love Is the Killer App
by Tim Sanders, chief solutions officer for Yahoo! (I love his title), Sanders shatters the theory that good business is driven by ruthless, coldhearted executives. The classic, tough, uncaring image of business is simply not true—especially if you want to inspire success—and Sanders does a brilliant job showing the difference integrity, character, and respect can make in the workplace.

The problem is, everywhere you look today you can see a lack of integrity— even in the highest and most prestigious places of business. In fact, some of this country's largest and most productive companies are collapsing due to a lack of integrity, and the ripples are being felt around the world. Sometimes it's due to financial impropriety, sometimes sexual misconduct. Still others engage in deceptive promotion and selling. There are a million ways to damage your integrity, but building it back is something else entirely. Starting today, make integrity an important priority because once you lose it, it's almost impossible to ever get it back.

Real influence is about making a positive difference in the lives of people.

When you leave a legacy of change in the lives of others, it is the most fulfilling accomplishment you will ever achieve. It's not about looking inside at your problems and challenges, it's about looking outside to help others.

Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
—DANNY KAYE, FILM ACTOR AND COMEDIAN

Understanding influence is a critical foundation for blockbuster success.

No matter where you are in an organization, your actions touch people's lives— either for good or bad. The jolts we've discussed in this book can change your life, and through the power of influence, they can change the lives of everyone on your team or in your company, your associates, and even your family.

Now—from this moment on, I only have three rules:

1.
Reread key chapters that describe areas you're dealing with the most
. When we were kids in elementary school, if we wrote in a library book, we were in big trouble. But I'm inviting you to make up for lost time and go back and write in this book anywhere you like—scribble in the margins, make notes, and even draw pictures if it helps. Take a highlighter and mark specific passages that stand out for you, and note them for easy reference later. Reread chapters that you struggle with because this is a critical part of the learning process. Even after you finish the book, keep it nearby and scan your notes on a regular basis. It's one thing to read something over, but it's far better to make notes, re-scan the information regularly, and get it deep into your mind and spirit where these principles will be at your fingertips whenever you need them.

2.
Share this information on change with at least two other people
. There's an ancient oriental proverb that says, “You never really learn something until you've taught it to someone else.” I believe that with all my heart. When you share new information with others, it forces you to think about it and articulate it in a practical, informative way. Don't be shy about sharing information on change because it can have a major impact on your future as well as the future of others. Begin sharing new information with friends and colleagues on a regular basis, and you'll discover fantastic insight and suggestions coming back as well. I have friends who make a regular program of reading and discussing business books. No one person can read everything, so we divide and conquer. Each of us takes a book and teaches the rest of us all about it. We still usually end up personally buying nearly everything anyway because we've gotten into a habit of notating books and building our own business libraries for future reference. Discuss these ideas with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media platforms. Never forget—
your value to an organization is your ability to have the answers
. So do whatever it takes to become a valuable change resource for your company, your associates, and your friends.

3.
Never stop the journey of “change mastery” in your own life
. The concept of “mastery” is something the ancients held in very high regard. Becoming an expert, being the best, or achieving greatness is all part of this concept, but true mastery is mental, physical,
and
spiritual. Mastery is a journey, so don't think it's something to ever be fully achieved, but rather, it's a lifelong process of learning and growing. The great Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Always be open to new ideas, new information, and new ways of accomplishing your dreams. Shake things up. Jolt the thinking of those around you. Keep pointing out the elephants in the room. This is a spiritual journey that causes you to constantly evaluate yourself and your purpose in the world, and it should continue as long as you live and breathe.

A blockbuster movie is a movie that dominates the competition, influences the culture, generates incredible income, sets records, and jolts the industry. A
blockbuster life
is a life that does all that and more. From this moment on, view every person and every situation you encounter through the eyes of change. Commit your life to embracing disruption and chaos as they happen and igniting change where it is needed.

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out into the ocean.
—CHRISTOPHER REEVE, ACTOR AND ACTIVIST FOR THE HANDICAPPED

Change is about intervention. Rosa Parks sat in the back of a bus a hundred times in Montgomery, Alabama, before she made the decision to move up. That decision ignited a change that jolted a nation.

Change is something that happens one person at a time, in unexpected moments, and often has far greater impact than anyone could dream.

As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

The world is changing. Now, so can you.

Be the change, make change happen, and never look back.

Jolt your life!

REVIEW
Jolt Your Future

1. In what areas of my life can I learn from failure? (Remember, a mistake is just another option.)

2. It's not about me. Who are the people who can perform on my team? Whom can I turn to for advice, creative ideas, and encouragement?

3. How can I personally be a better team member?

4. What kind of legacy will I leave?

5. What can I do now to leave a legacy to be proud of?

6. How can I increase the power and value of my personal influence?

7. How can I use my influence to change my networks, my community, and potentially the world?

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

L
ooking back to the the start of my career, this was not anywhere close to where I thought I would be at this point in my life. And yet I've had the remarkable opportunity to be married to a woman who was willing to stick with me for the duration. Kathleen is my wife, business partner, coach, and confidante and the mother of our children. Her influence on this book has been enormous, to the point of even letting me test some of my wacky theories out on her. To say “thank you” would never express the difference she's made in my life, but if we sell any books, I'll make it up with that vacation I've been promising.

Our children, Bailey and Kelsey, and Kelsey's husband, Chris, have lived with my travel schedule, and grown up with me bouncing around the world. In spite of that, they are living life to its fullest, and we couldn't be more proud. Had I known they'd turn out so well, we'd have had a few more.

None of this would have happened without the incredible clients I've had the opportunity to work with over the years. They allowed me the laboratory to explore these ideas, push for answers, and never settle for second best. There's no question that as we changed your organizations, you changed my life as well.

Finally, to my literary agents, Rachelle Gardner and Greg Johnson: thanks for believing not just in this idea but in me. Your advice, guidance, and a few timely “jolts” have kept this project on course. And to the team at Thomas Nelson publishers—Joel Miller, Bryan Norman, David Schroeder, and CEO Michael Hyatt—this has truly been a great publishing experience.

Phil Cooke
September 12, 2010

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

P
hil Cooke, a writer, speaker, and filmmaker, is changing the way business, church, and nonprofit leaders influence and engage the culture.
Christianity Today
calls him a “media guru.” His media company, Cooke Pictures, advises many of the largest and most effective churches and nonprofit organizations in the world. A founding partner in the commercial production company TWC Films, he also produces national advertising for some of the largest companies in the country. His books and online blog at
philcooke.com
are changing the way religious and nonprofit organizations tell their stories. He's lectured at universities such as Yale, University of California at Berkeley, and UCLA and is an adjunct professor at the King's College and Seminary and Biola University in Los Angeles.