Judy Moody Declares Independence (6 page)

Now all she had to do was find Mom and Dad and Stink.

“The trail starts here,” said Judy. She pointed to the sign in front of a wilted, half-dead plant: Y
E
O
LDE
L
IBERTY
T
REE
.

“First I’ll make a speech at Ye Olde Liberty Tree. Hear ye! Hear ye!” called Judy, jingling Mouse again. “Give me liberty or give me more allowance!” Mom and Dad laughed. Stink snorted.

“Listen, ye olde trail people. I’m Judy. I’ll be your tour guide. Follow the red footprints to freedom!” Judy led her family from room to room.

On the dining room table, it said, J
UDY
M
OODY
D
ID
H
OMEWORK
H
ERE
.

“I do my homework there every day,” said Stink. Judy gave him ye olde hairy eyeball.

On the kitchen floor, Judy pointed to a sign that said, J
UDY
M
OODY
F
ED
M
OUSE
H
ERE
.

“Isn’t that one of your chores already?” asked Dad.

“Yes,” said Judy. “But nobody had to remind me to do it.”

She pointed to the kitchen table: J
UDY
M
OODY
A
TE
P
EANUT
B
UTTER
H
ERE
.

“I don’t get it,” said Stink.

“I ate it with a spoon, not my fingers, and I didn’t eat any in my room or get it on stuff,” said Judy.

Judy opened the door to the laundry room: J
UDY
M
OODY
P
ICKED
U
P
L
INT
B
ALLS
H
ERE
. She opened the door to the downstairs bathroom: J
UDY
M
OODY
W
ASHED THE
S
OAP
H
ERE
.

“I hate the dope who thought up soap,” Stink recited, cracking himself up. “I wish he’d eat it. I repeat it. Eat it.”

Stink was not helping on the trail to freedom one bit. “Stink, stop saying stuff,” said Judy.

“It’s a free country,” said Stink.

They followed the red footprints up the stairs to Judy’s room. A sign on the bottom bunk said, J
UDY
M
OODY
M
ADE THE
B
ED
H
ERE
. One on the top bunk said, P
RIVATE
! D
ON
’
T
L
OOK
U
P
H
ERE
.

“What are all those lumps up there?” asked Stink.

“Next stop, Stink’s room,” said the tour guide. His door had a sign taped to it: J
UDY
M
OODY
W
AS
N
ICE TO
S
TINK
H
ERE
.

“Were not!” said Stink.

“Was too!” said Judy.

“Ha!” said Stink. “You told me I had a spider in my hair!”

“Last but not least, the big bathroom!” said Judy. J
UDY
M
OODY
P
ICKED
U
P THE
P.U. T
OWELS
H
ERE
.

“So what do you think?” Judy asked. “Wasn’t I super-duper, Sybil-Ludington responsible?”

“This is great, honey. Everything looks really good,” said Dad. “You’re starting to show us that you can be responsible and do things independently.”

“It’s nice when we don’t have to tell you all the time,” said Mom.

“So I can have more freedoms now? Like not brushing my hair all the time? And staying up later than Stink?”

“I want freedoms, too!” said Stink. “Chocolate milk for breakfast!”

“We’re proud of you, Judy,” Mom said. “But these are all things we want you to do anyway.”

“You already get an allowance for doing these things,” said Dad.

Tarnation! Judy was in a nark again. The narkiest.

The Freedom Trail was not free at all. The UN-Freedom Trail.

She, Judy Moody, picked up P.U. towels and washed soap and ate peanut-butter-not-with-her-fingers for nothing.

“It’s just plain ye olde not fair!” she cried.

When Judy got home from school the next day, there was a mysterious package waiting for her.

“It has queens on it!” said Stink.

“It’s from Tori!” Judy tore off the tape. “Sugar packets! For my collection!” There were clipper ships and castles, knights and queens. Even famous London stuff like Big Ben and the World’s Largest Ferris Wheel, the London Eye.

“Rare!” said Judy. “Here’s one in French.
‘Je vois le chat.’
Stink, can you read it?”

Stink squinted at the sugar packet. “I think it says, ‘Your head is toast.’”

“Does not!” said Judy. “Give it!” She read the back. “It says, ‘I see the cat.’”

Judy found some that Tori had made herself, with funny British sayings like nuddy pants and stuff.

“Can I have the pavement pizza one?” asked Stink.

“You’re off your trolley, Stink.”

“When was I on my trolley?” he asked.

Judy read the Bonjour Bunny postcard.

“There’s a bunch of tea bags here, too. Real English tea, like at the Boston Tea Party,” Judy said. “Tori’s barmy if she thinks I’m even allowed to drink all this tea.”

“Only traitors drink tea from England,” said Stink.

“I’ll be a traitor,” said Mom. “I’d love to try some English tea.” She selected one in shiny blue foil and headed for the kitchen.

Wait just a Yankee-Doodle minute! Judy had a not-so-barmy, off-your-trolley idea. She was gobsmacked that she hadn’t thought of it before.

Since Mom and Dad would not let her have more freedoms, she would rise up and protest. Brilliant!

The next day at school, Judy passed notes to Rocky and Frank:

On Saturday, Rocky and Frank rang the Moodys’ doorbell at exactly two minutes after twelve. Judy and Stink both ran for the door. Stink got there first. “It’s not a Toad Pee Club meeting!” he blurted. “Judy lied. It’s a
Tea Party
Club!”

“No way,” said Frank.

“I’m not drinking any old tea with a bunch of dolls,” said Rocky.

“Not that kind of tea party,” said Judy, dragging them up to the bathroom. “C’mon. It’ll be fun. Ben Franklin’s honor!”

“I see tea bags,” said Frank. “And a teapot.”

“This is boring,” said Rocky.

“Look! It’s the talking teapot!” said Stink. “From when Judy was little.” He pressed a button.

“I’m a little teapot,” the teapot sang, “short . . . like . . . Stink.”

“Did it just say ‘short like Stink’?” Frank asked. He cracked up.

“No — it said ‘short and stout,’” said Stink. “The batteries are running out!”

“Forget about the teapot,” said Judy. “This is a
Boston
Tea Party.” Judy explained about the real Boston Tea Party. “It’s a protest! Right here. In the bathtub!”

“What’s a protest?” asked Frank.

“You get to yell about stuff that’s not fair,” said Judy.

“Then I protest having a tea party,” said Rocky.

“And you get to dump tea in the bathtub,” said Stink.

“The Boston
Tub
Party!” said Judy.