Just Above a Whisper (42 page)

“Sit down,” he invited, and they took chairs by the wood stove. He hadn’t needed to fire it up yet, but summer or winter, it was everyone’s favorite place to sit.

“How are you?” Maddie asked.

“I’m all right. Did Jace tell you?”

“Yes, and I know just what you’re feeling. You’re full of questions and a little bit afraid that it’s not real.”

“That just about sums it up. I didn’t know, Maddie. I didn’t realize God could be so personal. I read in my Bible yesterday about Zacchaeus and how short he was. I had heard that story from the time I was young, and always the emphasis was put on Zacchaeus. I never saw the compassion of Jesus before yesterday. He could have condemned Zacchaeus for his sin but saved him instead.”

Maddie couldn’t stop the tears that came to her eyes.

“Now, don’t do that,” Doyle begged. “You’ll get me going, and then Cathy will come, and we’ll both have some explaining to do.”

Maddie laughed a little and brushed at her face.

“How is it going with Cathy?”

“I can’t tell. I told her last night. I asked God to help me, and then I told her how I believed in His Son to save me.” Doyle shook his head with regret. “She didn’t get it, Maddie. She stared at me and wanted to know what I was hiding. I couldn’t get her to understand that what I was saying was real. She was pretty quiet at breakfast and again when she brought my dinner.”

“It might take some time,” Maddie said.

“Will you be seeing her?”

“I plan to stop there before I head home.”

“Maybe she’ll talk to you.”

When Doyle uttered these words, he didn’t know how close he was to the mark. Maddie visited with her uncle for a while longer and then headed next door to the house. Cathy was very sober, and Maddie wondered whether she would even want company, but that didn’t take long to change.

“Have you been to see your uncle?” Cathy asked, anger punctuating every word.

“I just came from there.”

“Did he tell you about his experience with
God?
” The words were spat out. “I think he’s sick again and won’t tell me!” Her voice broke a little. “What am I going to do, Maddie?”

“Sit down, Cathy,” Maddie urged her with compassion. “I want to tell you something.”

It took some coaxing and Maddie making tea to get Cathy to settle at the worktable in the kitchen.

“I want you to listen to me,” Maddie began, seeing that her aunt was beyond agitated. “I have something to explain to you.”

“About Doyle?” Cathy looked afraid.

“In a way,” Maddie tried but then shook her head because Cathy was trying to talk again. “Just listen.”

“All right,” Cathy agreed. Remembering Maddie’s condition made her sit still.

“At first this won’t make sense to you, Cathy, but I want you to keep listening.”

Cathy nodded, wondering where this could be going.

“Not all beliefs are the same, Cathy. And as much as we might want that to be okay, God says it’s not. Some pastors are not teaching what the Bible says.”

Cathy wanted to ask her what she was talking about but made herself stay quiet.

“We can know where we stand with God. And we can know if we’re good enough for heaven. The answer to that is that none of us is good enough for heaven.”

“Well, I know we sin, Maddie, but not like some people.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Cathy. When God asks you about your sin, you won’t be able to bring up someone else who you think was worse. You will have to answer for your own sins, and that’s what Doyle realized.”

“So he is going to die?”

“Of course he’s going to die.” Maddie kept her voice gentle. “We’re all going to die. And by that time, it’s too late. Eternity has to be settled here and now, on earth, and Doyle took care of that.”

Cathy looked thoughtful but not angry. Maddie gave her a moment of silence and then kept talking.

“It scared Doyle to see Mr. Somer fall like that. He’s still not out of bed, by the way. Doyle was reminded of how swiftly our lives can end here. And he knew he wasn’t ready to meet God.”

“But he’s been a good man.”

“I challenge you to find any Scripture that says being a good person is enough to let you stand before a holy God,” Maddie said.

Cathy licked her lips. Maddie sounded so sure. And lately she had been different. A lot of women changed when they were in the family way, but that didn’t explain the changes she’d also seen in Jace.

“So what’s a person to do?” Cathy asked.

“What you just did. Ask questions until you have all the information you need. Ask questions with a searching heart until you know that your goodness isn’t worth anything and that salvation is because of Christ’s shed blood.”

“Maddie,” Cathy said, her voice amazed. “I’ve never heard you talk this way.”

Maddie reached over and took her aunt’s hand. “I can’t take anything to heaven with me but the people I love, and only then if they agree with God. I don’t want you to be left out, Cathy. That would break my heart.”

“Maddie, I just don’t know. It’s all so new.”

“Yes, it is, and I’m not asking that you decide in one day, but please listen to Doyle. He can help you understand, even though it’s new to him.”

“He’s wanted to talk since Mr. Somer was in the store,” Cathy admitted, “and I haven’t let him.”

“It’s not too late to listen.”

“I’ve got to go and see him,” Cathy said as she stood. “You understand, don’t you?”

“Of course. I’ll see you later. Maybe Jace and I can come in on Friday or Saturday night.”

Cathy barely said goodbye, but Maddie didn’t notice. She was out in the wagon as fast as her legs could carry her, wanting to run the horses all the way home.

I’ll plan on tomorrow night
had been Conner’s words to Reese when he’d left after tea Tuesday night.

I’ll be in the garden
Reese had said in return. And now the moment had arrived. The evening was cool, and there was little to do outside, but Reese’s wait paid off when Conner’s long legs brought him back to the fence.

“More vegetables?” he asked.

“Not tonight,” Reese said, already moving for the porch stairs. Conner sat beside her.

“How is Mrs. Greenlowe tonight?”

“Doing fine. I told her you’d be coming. She seemed all right with it as soon as I explained that we’d be talking about spiritual things.”

“I hoped you hadn’t forgotten about that.”

Reese shook her head, not able to look at him just then.

“Will it be too hard for you?” Conner studied her profile.

“Not if you don’t look at me,” Reese said, glancing up and finding him with a huge grin on his face. While she still watched, he shifted so his face was in profile to her, and Reese began, even though she wished it were dark.

“I think you know that I was at Mr. Zantow’s from the time I was 17.”

“Troy told me about the papers.”

“Well, Mr. Zantow had certain patterns, and I learned them well, even before my father died.”

“Like what, for example?” Conner asked, still turned to the side.

“I could count on him leaving for the tavern soon after tea. He never came home until he was very drunk. Before my father died he all but ignored me, but once I was alone, Mr. Zantow’s attention turned to me. He never seemed to remember a thing during the day, but at night, when he was deep in his cups, he would seek me out.

“I never had trouble holding the door against him or getting away if I wasn’t in my room. He wasn’t a large man, and when he was drunk, I was much stronger. All of that worked until one night when I thought I had plenty of time. I was bathing by the kitchen fireplace when he suddenly came barging in the door.”

Reese paused, and Conner had a hard time not looking at her. He also thought that if Mr. Zantow had been on the premises just then, Conner would have become violent.

“Seeing me like that must have given him some kind of strength.” Reese’s voice was very soft. “We wrestled until I found enough balance to push him. I pushed hard. He went back against the stones on the fireplace and then slumped to the floor. There was a lot of blood, and I thought I’d killed him. I threw my clothing on and went for Doc MacKay. He checked Mr. Zantow, who wasn’t dead but just bleeding from a head wound.

“Doc made sure he was going to be all right, and I took myself off to bed. I didn’t sleep. The next morning I went to see Alison Muldoon. I knew her husband was a pastor, and I was so shook up about what had happened that for the first time in my life I wanted someone to pray for me. Douglas said he would be happy to but that I also could pray for myself. He explained God’s plan of salvation that morning, and I believed.”

Reese took a huge breath. Conner thought she might be crying, but when she went on, her voice was normal.

“It was an awful night in one sense, but completely freeing in another. I don’t know how I found a way to tell an almost stranger about what happened to me, but I did it. And Douglas was so compassionate. Alison cried, and I couldn’t remember anyone ever crying over me before.”

Conner had not banked on what this would do to his heart. His chest hurt just listening to her voice and having to think about what a lonely, desperate life she had lived, prey to a man who didn’t know what a treasure she was.

“Well, anyway,” Reese continued, her voice growing even softer, “I don’t know what else to tell you, except that I’m glad Mr. Zantow didn’t die that night. It would have been awful, and hard as it was, the whole ordeal led me to Douglas and Alison and then to Jesus Christ.”

Conner had to look at her. She was sitting very still, her eyes on her lap.

“Thank you for telling me.”

Reese knew from the sound of his voice that he was now facing her. It wasn’t a story she shared very often because the memory was hard, and a woman didn’t tell a man about being undressed or bathing. But with Conner it was different. When he’d cared enough to ask, Reese had wanted to answer.

“We’ve run out of daylight again,” Conner observed.

“It’s happening early these days.”

“I’d better let you get inside.”

“Oh, Conner,” Reese suddenly remembered. “I have to tell you something. I can’t believe it slipped my mind so completely, but someone was in the barn today. I’m sure of it.”

“You saw someone?”

“No, but I heard something, and when I started that way, all fell quiet.”

“Were the horses restless? Was that the noise?”

“It wasn’t anywhere near where you keep the horses. It was over in the deserted area.”

Conner thanked her, already on his feet and making plans in his head.

“I want to discuss this with Troy, and then we’ll talk in the morning. All right?”

“All right. Goodnight.”

Conner bid Reese goodnight as well and thanked her again for telling him. For the third night in a row, she watched him walk into the dusk.

As soon as he was out of sight, Reese went indoors. She spoke for a few minutes to Mrs. Greenlowe but then bid that lady goodnight. Not normally wearied by anything, Reese felt as though the wind had been knocked completely out of her. For the first time since she’d come to Christ, she didn’t take time to pray but crawled into bed and slept immediately.