Just Breathe (28 page)

“Dominic, please wait!”

But he gets to the door before me and shuts it in my face.

“Elle!” Kennedy calls me from the living room. The urgency in her voice pulls me back to her, when all I want to do is crumple to the floor and cry.

“Tell her what you just told me,” Kennedy commands Nick as I enter the room.

“Tell me what?”

Nick runs his hands through his hair. “You should sit down, Elle.”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s about Dominic,” Kennedy says.

Nick nods. “I don’t know much about him. But I know that he’s not who he says he is. I’ve seen him at the gallery a couple times. And both times, he was introduced to me as Jerry.”

“What? That’s not right. His name is Dominic, and he’s—”

“No. His name is Jerry. For sure. The fact is, he came out of nowhere, and you’ve been taken in by him—not that I blame you,” Nick says. “He’s rich, he’s good looking. But you hardly know the guy. It’s only been a couple months. The fact is, you really don’t know him.”

“That’s impossible.” My voice is barely a whisper, breath stolen by my reeling thoughts.

“I wish it was. But it was definitely him. And he’s been lying to you.”

“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.”

Kennedy scoffs. “Yeah right. What else has he lied about? The hypocrite. Reasonable explanation my ass.”

I don’t believe there’s a reasonable explanation either, but I rush outside to catch Dominic before he leaves.

Chapter Thirty

He’s just reaching his car when I indignantly streak down the walk. “How dare you? You don’t just get to walk away.” My mind races, trying to understand what Nick told me, but I’m relieved Dominic hasn’t sped away.

“I think you’ll find that I’m the one who has been lied to. You’re the one who owes me an explanation.” He walks back up the path a ways to meet me.

“I’m sorry that I lied. I smoke weed. I smoked it. That’s all. Until Jason left me, it was a casual thing. I used it to deal with him leaving me. I used it hard. And then I quit because I saw how stupid and unhealthy that was for me.” Wait, why the fuck am I the one defending myself? “But what about you? I mean, you’re pissed at me for lying about one tiny thing I never did while we were going out, not once! Yeah, I hit the bong hard these past few days, but we weren’t even together. You’re acting like I’ve let you down, but I don’t even know who you are!”

“What are you talking about? Are you high
now
? Of course you know who I am.”

“Actually, I haven’t smoked anything today. And really,
Jerry
? I know everything about you?”

Understanding clears the confusion away from his face.

Ha! I’ve caught him out on his lies, and he’s totally busted. “Yeah. I was a pothead
before
we met, but I quit. Until I saw you with Anna.” I pause to feel stupid about that mistake, then shake it off. “I may have lied by omission, but everything else was true. So don’t be all self-righteous with me. Not when I don’t even know who the hell you are.”

“My real name isn’t Dominic, or Jerry,” he admits.

What? How many layers deep is this deception? Holy shit. I didn’t even know his name. I’ve laughed with him, slept with him. Fallen in love with him. Shared parts of myself I hadn’t let anyone else see, and
I don’t even know his name.

Legs buckle, and I stumble, but catch myself before I fall. I choke my words out around the betrayal. “What else was a lie? Is this just some sick game to you? You find someone, and act all perfect, and fool them into falling in love with you, then—”

“You’re in love with me?” He steps toward me.

“What, it’s not as big of a payoff for you if you don’t hear it? The game isn’t complete if I don’t say the words?” I savagely blink tears back, refusing to let them fall. “Fine, I’ll say it. That way at least one of us will be happy at the end of all of this. Yes, Dominic, or Jerry, or whoever you are. You win. You fooled me completely. You made me fall so hard I
ache
all over thinking about it. I’m in love with you.”

He closes the space between us and grips me so tightly the air is forced from my lungs, but I can’t breathe anyways because his mouth is on mine. I can’t even push him away because my anger is being crushed beneath his lips, tamed under the strokes of his tongue on mine. My traitorous body clings to him because I want him
still
, and I don’t even know who he is. For too long, I kiss him back with everything I have in me because it feels so goddamned
right
to be in his arms again.

Then something snaps, and I wrench away from him when all I want is to curl up inside the delusion that what we had was real. Walking a few paces backwards, until my heels hit the steps, I stop. I have to face the delusion. “I can’t do this. I can’t be with someone who lies to me, or cheats the truth from me. I can’t be with another Jason.”

“Elle, you’ve got it all wrong. Everything between us was real, I swear.”

“The promise of a liar isn’t worth the breath it was spoken with.”

“Please let me explain.”

My silence gives consent. I want it to be real.

“Everything I am, everything we have is real.”

“Was real.”

“
Is
real. The only thing you didn’t know was my name. Dominic is my middle name. I’ve gone by it for years.”

My heart perks up, hope swirling through my veins. “Go on.”

“I was named after my father. I stopped being Junior—” he spits the word as if it’s acid “—as soon as I could.”

Please, please, please be real. “And this Jerry business?” I can barely breathe.

“With things to do with the foundation, I’m forced to use the name I hate. Legal purposes. I’ve separated all I can, moved things under my name, but a couple things remain in my birth name. His name,” he says bitterly. “Even with him gone, that piece of him stains the good things I do.”

It’s too much to hope for. “So that’s it? Everything else is real?”

“Yes. I never lied to you about anything else. And I didn’t think about this as a lie—I’ve gone by my grandfather’s last name since I was seventeen. I swear. Look, here.” He reaches for his wallet, pulling out a piece of plastic. “Here’s my driver’s licence.”

Sagging to the step with relief, I sit down and he sits next to me, putting the small piece of plastic in my hand. I clutch it, but look at him instead. “I feel like a total idiot.”

“No, I get it. I can see how bad it would have looked that night. And, I may have come down on you a bit disproportionately for smoking weed. But it’s still not something I’m okay with.”

“The thing is, I was only ever really a social smoker until Jason did the dirty on me. It became my coping mechanism. But I promise I never smoked once while we were going out. I didn’t even miss it. I only started again when I thought you’d...”

“God, I feel terrible about that night.” He hangs his head.

“I came at you hard for this. I should have trusted you more. I’m sorry for that.” I’m not happy about him being that friendly with another woman, but I kissed Jason at his party, so it’s not like I’m completely innocent. A shudder runs through me, thinking about that near-miss, and how close Dominic and I came to finishing for good.

“No. With the texts, and seeing Anna, I can understand, especially after what Jason had done to you.”

“I should have come clean about smoking ages ago. I just never knew how to bring it up. And since I hadn’t smoked while we were together, I justified it as being a non-issue.”

He takes my hand. “It is a non-issue. As long as this relapse was a one-off?”

“It was. I sort of thought I’d have this “I’m back” type feeling when I smoked again, but all I felt was dizzy and stupid. My chest hurts.”

“Mine’s hurt since I saw you with your ex.”

I grab his hand and squeeze it. “I’m so sorry for that.”

“I’m not blameless. I get why you thought what you did.”

“And I hadn’t been seeing you as much, which was awful for my insecurities. But that’s not your fault. It was work.”

“It was, but we’ll just have to make sure we see more of each other. I’ll have more time now that that case has been settled. At least until another one comes along.”

“A solid few days with you is all I ask.”

“I’ll call in dead to work. I don’t care. I thought I’d lost you.” His gaze is unbearably soft. “You may have come in swinging, but that’s another thing I love about you.”

Oh God, kill me now. Love. I told him I’m in love with him. Where’s a diversion when you need one?

“And, Elle?” He slides closer and this time he holds me gently. “I am
so
in love with you.”

I grin and want to laugh, feeling so complete I could burst with happiness.

“What?”

“I love you.” We come together in a kiss so deep, we blur the lines of who we are, holding nothing back. I stop only to grab his hand and pull him into the house.

Nick and Kennedy’s faces are comical as I haul Dominic through the living room. “Dominic, you know Kennedy. This is Nick.”

“Nice to meet you, Nick. Kennedy, great to see you.”

“It was all a glorious misunderstanding.” I call over my shoulder to my baffled friends. “This is our kitchen. And bathroom. And this is my room.” I close and lock the door behind us, breathless with wanting.

Dominic presses me against the door, his mouth devouring mine with every bit of urgency that rampages through me. We almost lost each other, pushed each other away because of completely idiotic misunderstandings. Never again. I never want us to be apart again.

I don’t realize I said it out loud until Dominic murmurs his agreement between kisses that curl my toes. My hands are frenzied, desperate to get his clothes off. To be with him. In no time at all we’re both naked, and I stroke his hard cock, inhaling the gasp he breathes against my skin. I thought I’d never have this again, see him again, and that’s the thought that sharpens my desire, drives my need.

I kiss him with a rude tongue, plunging deep into his mouth, taking everything I want and need, everything I nearly lost. Almost brutally, I grasp his hair, and pull him even deeper into the kiss.

Dominic hauls me off my feet and wraps my legs around his waist. He uses the new position to squeeze and rub his way up my thighs and ass, as if he can’t believe I’m real beneath his hands, but he’s going to explore every inch of me until I disappear. But his hands aren’t gentle and thank God for that.

“The bed.” I bite his lip and move lower to suck on his neck, raw heat turning me savage, but the look in Dominic’s eyes is exactly how I feel and he claws the blanket aside and sets me on the bed, lying on top of me. Oh. Electric pleasure revs through me when he rocks against my core and I slide up the bed.

The satin sheets. Holy shit. Dominic smiles when I gasp. “Satin sheets?”

“They were a present from Marie.”

“Lie still.” He unwinds my limbs from his body, and slips lower.

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere.” He drops a kiss to my ankle, and throws his hands out. The rich blue top sheet flutters down, unfurling from his hands in one gorgeous shiny ripple. With a wicked grin he disappears beneath the sheet, and slowly kisses a path up my thighs and I get it. The slightest movement rubs the sheet across my skin in a cool, slippery caress that pins me to the bed with ecstasy. I writhe when he spirals his tongue around my clit, only to gasp at the onslaught of silken sensation underneath me from the bottom sheet. Surrounded; I’m surrounded, overwhelmed in the most sensual, pleasure-soaked experience of my existence.

Every nerve is hyper sensitive, even as every single muscle in my body relaxes. I’m a puddle of
yes
, caught between his tongue and a soft place.
Nothing will ever feel better than this
. Dominic’s finger strokes up and down the wetness between my legs and then it’s inside me and
now my bones are melting
. He adds pressure and moves his tongue faster and I come so hard I make no sound because who can breathe at a time like this?

Dominic waits for my breathing to regulate before asking if I have a condom. I point at my purse, and he finds it and rolls it on.

“Not fair using my condition against me,” I purr. “I never thought it could ever be a good thing.”

“I regret nothing, and am happy to prove you wrong again, and again.” He traces a lazy circle around my nipple with his tongue before sucking once, hard. Heat spikes through me again and I pull at his shoulders, urging him into position with my legs and hands. He reaches down and slips the sheet in between us, on top of me.

“No. I want to feel you, Dominic.”

He smiles and kisses my forehead. “You will.” He thrusts inside me, joining us together as we both gasp and clutch at each other, the satin sheet between us allowing more skin to glide around than usual and heat up with the friction of our movements.

Again I’m overwhelmed by the tactile onslaught of pleasure Dominic grinds into me. I lose myself and find him, and cling to his body with all that I have, crying out a moment before he moans my name and shudders, twitching his own release deep inside me.

I haven’t just been living in a Rubik’s Cube. I feel like
life
is a Rubik’s Cube. There are endless combinations of twists and turns, choices we make that change who we are. There are sides of ourselves that no one sees. Imperfect faces we hide from the world. And then we meet someone and everything clicks into place.

The person who makes us feel perfect from every angle.

Dominic’s eyes hold nothing but love. In his eyes I’m perfect. He holds me for a few minutes, spooning me against his chest, but after a few minutes, my large cup of coffee I inhaled for breakfast comes back to haunt me, with a pressure in my bladder.

“I hate to get up, but I have to hit the bathroom.”

He kisses my shoulder and releases me. “Fine, but brace yourself for a day in bed. We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

Mmm. I walk to my pile of clothes, and grab my sweater. It’s long enough to slip on for a quick sprint across the hallway, dignity intact. Something falls to the floor with a quiet slap as I slide the shirt over my head. Dominic’s license. I must have dropped it when we were getting undressed.