Just Breathe Again (19 page)

  “I haven’t kissed anyone since Katherine. I mean I’m no saint, but kissing is so intimate,” he whispered.

  “Me neither, Kane,” she said.

   “I need to see you again, soon. I want to spend some time alone with you. Maybe you could come up and stay with me? You drive me wild.” 

  With that comment, Jeannie snapped out of her dream-like state of kissing another man. A look of shock and dismay took over her face as she looked up to see a stranger. She remembered the taste of Vince on her lips. How he tasted like mints and how his kisses were so different from Kane’s. How could she have betrayed him? It was wrong to kiss another man so soon. But, her heart told her it felt so right. Then Vince’s face came to her mind and sadness swept over her.

   “What’s wrong?” Kane smiled at her.

   “I’m not ready for this, whatever this may be. I …I …” she hesitated.

  “What?”

  “It’s too soon. I have to go. Thank you for dinner and send Carmen my love,” she said, as she ran to the house. Kane stood there in disbelief. How could something so right and wonderful, turn out so wrong? 

Chapter 18

J
eannie ran into the house after the kiss clearly upset. How could she let herself fall for any other man than Vince? Oh, she wanted him to kiss her. She loved how his lips felt so warm and good. To have another man’s mouth on her was something she had not experienced in a long time. Yet it wasn’t Vince, and wouldn’t be Vince again.

  She shouldn’t have left him standing there by the car. She had no other choice. It was too much for her. She heard her cell phone ring, and she looked at the number and it was Kane. She couldn’t answer his call. How could she tell him she was sorry? She needed time, and to talk to Marsha.

  She found Marsha reading a book out on the back porch in her full Janis attire. Marsha smiled through her round, reading glasses.

  “How was it” she winked over her glasses. Jeannie couldn’t answer.

  “Hey, are you crying? Get your ass over here and talk to me. What’s wrong? Did he do something to you because I will get in the car, chase him down, and beat the shit out of him! I don’t give a shit if he’s a congressman or not.” Marsha reached up and pulled her towards her. 

  “No, Marsha he was wonderful. Do you have a glass of wine, or a whole bottle would be good with a straw.”

  “Hold on, sweetie, let me get more,” she said, as she ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cold bottle out of the fridge. And, in Marsha style, she also took out a large silly straw and put it in the bottle.

  “Here, now talk,” she instructed and plopped down on one of the cushioned chairs. Jeannie couldn’t help but laugh when she saw the straw.

 Sipping her wine, it began to calm her down and she told Marsha what happened. 

  “That’s normal, sweetie. You have feelings for this guy and you also have memories of Vince. It’s okay. Once Kane drives home and thinks about what happened he will understand too.” 

  “I shouldn’t have kissed him like I did. I became lost in the moment and he looked so good.”

   “I would have done more than kiss him, Jeannie. You have more will power than I do. I would kiss Kane the day of my husband’s funeral,” she laughed.

  “You’re nuts. I better keep him away from your slutty ass. That’s if I ever see or hear from him again. He thinks I’m a nut.”

  “No, not this guy. He’ll be back. I can see his lust in his eyes. He’s smitten with you. Give it a few days and call him.”

  “I don’t know, Marsha. It feels like I’m cheating on Vince and I think about Lydia, and I’m faced with so much guilt. I’m going to a bad place again.”

  “You have to stop. Lydia and Vince are on a whole other plane. They are in a place where there’s happiness and they want you to be happy. We get too bogged down on thoughts about what the dead think and see. They are so far advanced than us they don’t see what we think they do.”

  “Thanks, Marsh, for talking to me. You make me better.”

  “That’s what I’m here for, man. Take it easy and enjoy the ride. God, how I would like to ride him,” she laughed again.

  “Shut up. He’s hot isn’t he?”

  “Hot is not the word. Scorching is better. Did you touch his package while you were kissing him? Give me something to think about while I lay in bed alone knowing my husband is with another woman in her bed.”

  “Marsha, I’m selfish wanting to talk about myself and here you are with John and his issues. I thought you marriage was getting better.”

  “No, it’s not getting better. In fact it’s moving towards us not being married much longer. John told me his friend and her husband divorced. If my marriage was getting better, that wouldn’t be happening. Oh well, what are you going to do?”

  “Drink,” said Jeannie, sipping more wine and feeling pretty good.

  “I have taught you well,” she laughed, reaching across the table to grab Jeannie’s hand.

  After drowning her sorrows in wine, Jeannie went to bed. Even after slurping down an entire bottle of pinot noir, sleep was not easy to come by. She tossed and turned all night and her dreams were filled with both Vince and Kane. At one point they were both the same person and Jeannie finally got up and took a shower. It was barely dawn when Jeannie walked downstairs with a book to get her mind off what happened.

  Marsha was up early and as they talked over coffee, and she handed Jeannie an envelope. To Jeannie’s shock inside the envelope was two tickets to New York City and they were leaving that morning. Marsha arraigned the trip and even contacted Jeannie’s employer to tell them she would be in on Tuesday. Jeannie had not been there in years and the idea of getting away from everything sounded too good to be true.

 Jeannie whispered as she wiped a tear away. “Marsha, this is too much. You shouldn’t have done this.”     

 “Shut up. It’s what you’ve been needing. We’ll have a blast. I have to warn you, I hate flying. So with that being said, I’m drinking now.” Marsha threw back a shot of whiskey as Jeannie watched in horror.

  “How did you get me out of work?” Jeannie was working at the newspaper full time and had not once called off since she had been back. Her job was through her temporary agency and she was doing such a good job they wanted to hire Jeannie as a full time employee.

  “I pretended to be you and said that I had to make an emergency trip to New York and I would be back Tuesday. No problem. Now go pack and quit asking questions.”

  “What about Michael?” Jeannie asked. She wasn’t comfortable leaving him for two days.

  “Already arranged. I was going to tell you last night, but you were too upset. John will be with him and he has a ton of guy crap planned. He may be a shitty husband, but he’s good for something. Now, go get a suitcase and put a few outfits in and be ready in about an hour.”

  Marsha wasn’t kidding about not being able to fly. She drank half a bottle of whisky and still was a mess when the plane took off. Digging her fingernails into Jeannie’s leg was not pleasant for an hour.  It took Jeannie several attempts to get Marsha calmed down each time the plane dipped from turbulence. She was quite entertaining. Once she sobered up and got settled into their hotel room, Jeannie wanted to explore the city. They walked through Central Park, sat on a bench, and people watched. The smell of vendors cooking filled the air and they couldn’t resist buying a hotdog. There was a man playing a violin, and the music was so perfect to hear in the distance while they laughed and talked. Marsha needed to make a decision on what to do with her life.

  “Jeannie, it’s finished. I can’t keep putting up with his mood swings and the terrible comments he says to me.”

  “I know, Marsha. I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t hear it with my own ears. I’m not eavesdropping. I can hear him downstairs calling you names. I wouldn’t put up with his behavior either. Just like you wanting to step in with my mom, I wanted to step in with John. It wasn’t my place though.” 

  “You could shoot him for me. I’ll stand up for you in court,” Marsha laughed.

  “Nice, Marsha. There has to be a better way to get out of the marriage other than killing him.”

  “I have done everything I could to make him happy. I offered to have his daughter come and stay with us. I’ve forgiven him for the affair, and I’ve gone to counseling so much it’s not even funny. I have done it all and he still seems to be getting worse. Have you noticed his drinking is bad again?”

  “Yeah, I did see that he was drinking a lot again. I don’t know, Marsha I love John, but there’s a point when you have to say enough is enough.”

  “And I’m at that point when I want to say enough is enough. He’s miserable without her and I have to let him go and be with her.” Marsha looked up at Jeannie with a hurt look in her eyes.