Just Married (More than Friends) (10 page)

“You could come with me to New York.”

She smoothed her hands along the skirt of her sundress. “Why? You won’t be there.”

He blinked, as if he’d forgotten he would be back in Europe by the weekend. Or perhaps he didn’t check his schedule that far in advance.

“Look, let’s just say we’re working on the logistics. Molly is so pregnant we’ll be able to deflect any baby questions onto her.” She could tell he wanted to say more, but she was too keyed up to hear it. She climbed out of the car, the sticky heat of late summer wrapping around her. She checked the sky as she made her way up the driveway and smiled at the cotton clouds drifting their way. The buzz of conversation behind the fence grew louder with each step.

“Doll, wait.” Cal slammed the car door shut, but she didn’t slow down. His long legs caught up with her anyway. He caught her arm and turned her to face him. “You can’t go in there without your ring.” He held it up, the sun glinting off the huge diamond and nearly blinding her. She winced and he took her hand, slipping the ring in place.

“This thing is ridiculous. It must have cost a fortune.”

“Didn’t cost a thing, at least not for me. It was my grandmother’s twenty-year upgrade ring. I figured I might as well start at the top.”

Knowing it was a family piece made her like it more, feel a part of something. “Now I’m even more worried about losing it.”

“If it doesn’t suit you we can pick out another. It was the one in the safe I liked best.”

She glanced down at it again. She’d figured Tonya had picked out the ring like everything else at the wedding.

Cal cleared his throat. “I think I should tell them. They won’t ask as many questions.”

He had a good point, but she didn’t know if she trusted him not to tell it like he thought it should be. Which wasn’t how he wanted it at all.

“Let’s pretend to be happy about this. It’ll be easier than dealing with everyone’s questions.”

“I don’t have to pretend, Cal. I’m honestly thrilled that I get to tell my best friends I’m pregnant.” She shrugged off his hand and rang the bell.

“I thought we were best friends,” he muttered behind her.

“I’m your best friend. It’s been a long time since you even tried to be mine.”

Molly pulled open the door before he had a chance to reply. Or maybe, he just didn’t have anything to say.

“Dude, get off my fire pit,” Rob said with a laugh. The kids splashed beside the patio in a blow-up pool shaded by a Hawaiian-print umbrella.

“I have an announcement.” Cal dismissed the request with a wave of his hand and addressed the adults lounging in the late-afternoon sun. The weather this weekend had started off stormy, but brightened with each passing day. Exactly the opposite of his personal landscape.

Mira stood, no doubt wanting to break in with her rendition of how things should be.

“Right,” Cal shot her a sideways grin. He stood on his perch, channeling a mood so light and happy he almost believed it. “
We
have an announcement.”

“She made you sell the castle,” Dave guessed.

“You’re stealing her away to New York, aren’t you?” Molly looked up from the plate of food balanced atop her giant belly.

“If you’re annulling the marriage,” Rob spoke, leaning back in his Adirondack chair, “I’ll have you know your bride has an excellent attorney. And he may fleece you out of the three Bentleys you have stored in the garage in the Hamptons. You’ll never miss them, and the families who lost bets deserve some kind of retribution.”

“Listen, you smug prick,” Cal said with a laugh. “You can buy your own damned Bentley. We happen to enjoy being married very much.”

“Too much information,” Dave said with a shake of his head.

“Stevie boy, you might want some earmuffs. Because we’re having twins.”

“You’re fucking what?” Bert blurted out as he came off his chair.

Helen slapped his chest. “Language!”

Molly squealed, cubes of watermelon plopping off her plate as she tried to negotiate getting up. He wanted to tell her to sit still, but he doubted that would be well received in this crowd. He hopped down, receiving the hugs and back claps from the guys as Mira was fussed over by the women.

“When are you due?” Helen asked.

“Before Valentine’s Day, but it might be sooner. Hopefully they’ll stay put until February.” Mira’s features shone as she smiled. She was genuinely happy, and he hadn’t bothered to notice until now.

“Wait a minute,” Helen said, “you’ve been pregnant for months and never told us? Is this what the surprise wedding was all about?”

“I wasn’t holding out,” Cal offered up. “She only told me on Friday.”

“Wait, what?” Molly shook her head in disbelief

Mira held up her hands. “I got the surprise of a lifetime at my annual two weeks ago.”

“Get out!” Helen slapped her shoulder. “You had no idea?”

“None. I thought the doctor was confusing me with another patient.”

Molly wrinkled her nose. “You were one of those women who didn’t know she was pregnant! You could have had the baby in a gas station bathroom!”

His chest tightened. He’d thought finding out she was pregnant was terrifying enough. He had months before the babies were a squirming, crying reality. Thank goodness.

Mira laughed. “I think at some point the babies would have been more obvious.”

“Twins!” Molly squeezed her again, and then sighed. “I think I peed myself. Cal, don’t look so mortified. There’s a full-size baby on my bladder. It happens.”

He pulled his hand over his face, hoping to erase whatever Molly saw there. Because from the glare Mira shot him, it wasn’t the right reaction.

Helen narrowed her eyes. “You haven’t been puking or itchy or had headaches or cravings or—”

“None of it.”

“You don’t even look pregnant.” Helen looked her up and down. “You lucky bitch.”

“Language,” Bert said with a laugh.

“We’re pregnant together and we didn’t even know it.” Molly stepped closer for a hug. Her big, round belly felt hard between them as she squeezed. “I’m so excited. We can be in a mommy group together. Oh.” She made a face like she’d just stepped in something and grabbed her belly. “Okay then.”

“Molly?” Rob asked, nearly tripping on a tricycle as he went to his wife.

Molly wrinkled her nose and tilted her head. “I don’t think I peed after all. I think my water just broke.”

For some reason the women saw this as reason to celebrate with laughing and clapping. They all just stood there, as if there were no rush at all, no need to get to a hospital. Cal’s skin prickled like the temperature had jumped ten degrees.

He cleared his throat. “Should we go so you can, you know, get going?”

Molly leaned back and laughed, that bawdy, too loud laugh he recalled from school. “It’s Labor Day, Cal. It’s a good day to go into labor. But I have hours, maybe a day.”

“But—” A million things. He cut a glance to Mira, who was grinning. As if this were some kind of cosmic joke. Maybe they were punking him.

“Oh, Cal, your face.” Molly laughed again, then grimaced. She gripped Rob’s arm and blew out a slow breath. And another. And then it was as if it never happened. “Really, if you get squicked out every time a pregnant woman leaks, you’re in for a long nine months. Or five. You only have five left.”

It had to be a joke, because everyone was laughing. At him.

“She’s fine,” Rob said with a smile. “The more relaxed Molly stays, the easier labor can be. And faster. Anna was a marathon.”

Molly rubbed her belly. “Yep, my water broke.”

“We’re having a baby!” Mira called out, reaching down for the toddler clinging to her leg. She swooped their goddaughter up in a giggle-fueled hug.

Anna snuggled close, gripping her shirt as she peeked over at Cal. “Who’s that?”

“You remember Uncle Cal. He sent your princess bed.” She moved closer, her shoulder brushing against his arm. “And Baby Feed Me.”

“She doesn’t poop.” Anna wrapped her chubby arms around Mira’s neck.

Cal managed a nod, confusion and frustration wrestling in his mind. He hated being out of his depth. Went out of his way to ensure it never happened. And yet . . .

“Say hello to Anna Banana.” They both looked up at him, their cheeks pressed together, expecting him to do something, be something.

“Hello, Anna.” Mira clearly wanted a different reaction, but for the life of him he couldn’t imagine what that would be. He looked to Rob, who had disappeared, and to Bert who held his own boy, who Bert then tossed in the air. Anxiety shot through him like lightning, still buzzing as Bert caught him and tossed him again.

Molly approached, taking the baby from Mira. “If you’re still willing to stay with little miss, we might head to the hospital sooner rather than later. Traffic can be a bear on a holiday weekend.”

“This is really it?” Mira’s voice had a pitch he didn’t recognize, and by the time he turned to look at her, her eyes were glassy and wet.

“Well, either that or I’ve lost bladder control completely.” She laughed and then her face twisted. She thrust Anna at him.

Cal wanted to step back, but he took the kid because he worried Molly might drop her on the stamped concrete patio. She felt so small and breakable in his hands, like if he squeezed too tight she’d shatter.

Molly kept one eye on him as she sank onto a lounge chair and dug her fingers into her thighs. She did those slow breaths, and then burst out laughing. “Why are you holding her like that?”

“Like what?” He tightened his grip, but Anna kicked and wiggled.

“Like she’s a bomb,” Mira filled in, taking the toddler and setting her on the ground. “Haven’t you held a baby before?”

He shook his head. Helen and Bert’s boys climbed all over him, but he’d never picked one up. They just moved into his space like they owned it, usually leaving crumbs in their wake.

“Holy shit. I think we may be onto something here,” Molly said with a grin. “Laughter is supposed to help with labor, but with Anna I was in no mood. We should throw a party around your due date, or go to a comedy show. Oh, I think I have to pee.”

Mira helped her up and they watched her waddle back toward the house. He checked his watch. Had it really only been minutes since this all started?

“You need to calm down.” Mira stroked his arm. “She was in labor with Anna for two days. The more relaxed she is the faster things will progress.”

“I think it would all progress better at the hospital. Why haven’t they left yet?”

“I’m sure Rob is loading the car. Can you stay another day?”

He shook his head. “I have meetings in the morning. I arranged for a car to come get me in an hour, and I’ll sleep on the plane.”

“But that was before. Don’t you want to see the baby while she’s fresh and new?”

“You said it could be days before she has the baby. I have a plane to catch.”

“You own the plane, Kerr. You run the meetings.” She took her hand back, covering her still flat belly. “This is a brand-new baby. Do you even know what that looks like? Aren’t you curious now?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. I don’t think strangers are meant to see any of this.”

“These aren’t strangers, these are our best friends. You don’t want to see any of this. Even with your own pregnancy, children. Don’t you see, this is why I need to stay in Seattle? I don’t want to be alone when I’m having these babies.”

“We have time to discuss that.” He had to find a way to get used to it, to see himself as a dad. He could envision Mira slipping into her role with ease.

“Discussion closed, Kerr. You want to keep talking about it, talk to a wall. Or an attorney. My offer to let you walk away from this still stands. I know you feel trapped.”

“How is it you don’t?” Just a month ago they’d wanted the same things, the same freedoms.

“Because this is what I’ve wanted since my parents died. I wanted a family, but to my aunt I was an inconvenient obligation. It took her less than a week to box up every memory I had of my family in New York and ship it to Seattle. I’ve been holding onto the memory of being loved, of family, ever since. And now I have my own family with our friends and the babies. And whether you want to be a physical presence in it or not, you’ll always be that for me. So go, Kerr. Have a nice life. Don’t ever let anyone make you do something you don’t want to. Be the best you.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

By the time he realized she’d walked away, she was already inside the house.

But she might as well have been a million miles away.

Miranda found the best baby monitor according to the three magazines next to her on the couch, and added it to her registry. Her tablet felt hot from all the online shopping, but she didn’t want to call it a night yet. Molly’s stash of pregnancy magazines was much deeper than her own, and she’d made a mental list of things she’d need while going through Anna’s bedtime routine.

The growing list had her wondering if Cal weren’t right about her condo being too small. She and the babies didn’t need much space, but all the baby gear needed its own zip code. The television screamed, and she scrambled for the remote, lowering the volume on the woman in the final stages of labor.

Before she found out she was pregnant, she never realized how many shows were devoted to the topic. This show, chronicling the day of birth, had become a new obsession. It was like exposure therapy, like maybe if she watched enough births she wouldn’t be afraid to go through her own.

She yawned as she selected another pregnancy magazine from the basket. Rob and Molly had left six hours ago, with Cal disappearing soon after. Everyone else hung out until it was dark, but then headed home to wait for the news. She’d been able to keep her mind off Cal while busy with Anna and their friends, but in the quiet of night, he consumed her.

She always had a plan, and stuck to it no matter what. But Cal had shaken that path with his surprise wedding. She could have stayed on course, except the babies opened up a route she’d never dreamed of taking. But it wasn’t a highway she wanted to drag Cal down.

Resentment bred contempt, and she’d rather give him complete freedom than have him begrudge her the way her aunt had. You couldn’t make someone want something they didn’t. This kind of resignation didn’t feel good, nor did the idea of having to deal with their friends once they realized she’d be raising the twins alone. But she couldn’t find any anger; the sadness blanketed every other emotion. Kept her from reaching for the hope that if he’d only try, loving these babies might be just what he needed to heal the hurts of a childhood he was never allowed to have. She knew he’d never allow that kind of vulnerability, so terrified at failing at it he’d rather not even attempt it.

Molly going into labor had put a spotlight on how uncomfortable Cal was with pregnancy. She’d seen the way he looked at Molly, and his distance this weekend illustrated his disgust with the changes her body would take on to bring the boys here. No longer was her body his wonderland. Neverland. Maybe his mother was right and he truly was a man-child, content to never grow up.

This should be a time of celebration for them, not of heartbreak. But the dream of building a life with Cal—of making memories of holiday vacations and spoiling their godchildren and sexy times on beaches . . . all of that evaporated when reality hit them like an atom bomb. Nothing looked the same, or felt the same; in fact, their plans were destroyed and they were starting over from ground zero. All because her oldest dream had come true—a family of her own.

Here in Seattle, she had the resources to build a healthy, supported life for her and the boys. In a few months she’d be the one fussed over as Molly had been, the one in a happy panic, caught up in a comfortable swirl of support. If she gave in and went to New York to follow after Cal like some Stepford wife, she’d be alone. Probably taken to the hospital by a chauffeur. A chill sliced through her at the idea of having to go through labor with strangers. The process itself was scary enough, but to be so completely vulnerable and not have a support team in place? She couldn’t do it.

There wasn’t much she actually thought impossible. She was a smart chick and figured out what she didn’t already know. She had the education and the means to do most anything. And she’d worked damned hard to get here. But to truly be a single parent? Not that she had much choice, even if her husband had the same address.

A rapping at the door jolted her from her pity party. Her pulse leaped and she placed a hand on her chest to hold her heart in. The clock on her tablet showed it was past eleven, too late for anything normal. And that’s what happened this deep in suburbia. Normal.

She shuffled to the door. Everything in the house was silent, so still she heard her own breathing. She was used to living alone, but in a secured building. This was just so out of her element she considered ignoring it all together.

The knock returned and she winced. She didn’t want Anna to wake up. The little girl had the biggest day of her life tomorrow. Besides, the door had a deadbolt and a peephole. Plus the alarm panel she’d forgotten about had a square red alert button. Suburbia thought of everything.

She forced a deep breath and checked the peephole, nearly choking as Cal stared back at her with a mocking grin. She undid the locks and pulled the door open.

“You can take the girl out of the city,” he said as he walked past her. He kept going, all the way to the kitchen as if she’d been expecting him.

“What are you doing here?” She secured the dead bolt and remembered to set the alarm this time. “I thought you’d be winging your way past the flyover states by now.”

“Me too. I should be sound asleep and halfway home.” She noticed for the first time he had a paper bag and was unpacking tubs of ice cream. Premium ice cream. The kind he used to bribe her with during first year when he needed her notes.

“Mechanical issues?” She kept the island between them, the devil on her shoulder tempting her with how good he must smell, and how disappointed she’d been that they hadn’t been intimate all weekend. But the pregnancy had slammed that door shut for Cal. He’d thrown their relationship in reverse, all the way back to before his innocent flirtation gave way to her awkward advances. His ice-cream bribes had melted into anything but vanilla once they’d started having sex.

“Pistachio for your thoughts?” He held up a tub, that boyish grin thawing her resolve to leave her heart out of this.

“Careful what you wish for.”

“I can take it. I have mocha-almond fudge to soothe my ego.”

“No rocky road?”

“Too metaphoric.”

“What else is in your arsenal?”

He spun the containers to face her. “New York cheesecake.”

“Cheater.”

“Just using the assets available to me.” He tapped the remaining lid. “I evened things up with marionberry pie swirl, which I can’t get on the East Coast.”

“And what is it we’re doing here?”

“Ever since I’ve known you, when I have a problem we solve it with a bottle of wine, a sunset, and a bed. But it’s dark and you can’t drink, so I opted for ice cream.”

“And you don’t want to share a bed.” The pain in her admission made the words hang in the air.

He nodded. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

Well if that didn’t deserve ice cream to assuage her hurt pride, nothing did. She pulled open the silverware drawer and grabbed a fistful of spoons. A night like this called for eating straight from the carton, so she took her pistachio to the couch. She really wanted the cheesecake, but that felt like admitting defeat.

He toed off his shoes before joining her with his mocha-almond fudge. He motioned to the magazines. “What are you doing here?”

“Learning to be a mother.” She spoke around a frozen mouthful.

He swirled his spoon through the tub. “You’ll be a natural. None of this comes naturally to me.”

Her instinct was to comfort him, tell him it would all be okay. But she wasn’t sure it would be. Instead she went for a subject change. “Aside from telling you to handle me, how did your mom take it?”

His lips quirked in a grin. “Like she already knew.”

“I think she suspected when I was there.” Her stomach tensed, waiting for him to remind her she should have told him then.

He shrugged. “It might have been wishful thinking on her part.”

“She put a rocking chair in the spare room, Cal. She said she has two cribs from when you were a baby. It felt like a baby ambush.”

“She is the queen of the ambush. She wants a grandchild, so she planned to annoy us until she got one. Tenacity is her biggest asset.” He helped himself to a spoonful from her tub. “Don’t start feeling pressured by her now. You’ve always been able to hold your own with her.”

“She never saw me as a threat to what she wanted.”

“And now you’ll be delivering it to her, wrapped up in a blue blanket.” He shook his head. “Moving the rocking chair in was to get to me, not you. And the cribs, well, she keeps everything. It can’t clutter up her space, but she can’t part with it.”

“I don’t know if the cribs would be a good idea.” She found the
WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A CRIB
article and turned it toward him. “There are different safety concerns now. How far apart the slats should be and such.”

He didn’t look. “There are professional baby-proofers. We can hire one and let them be the heavy.”

“Good plan.” They ate their ice cream until her tongue went numb and her teeth started to ache. She set the half-empty tub on the stack of magazines on the ottoman. “So, you’re in Seattle.”

“I am.” His empty carton joined hers.

“For the baby?”

“For you. I don’t understand any of this.” He waved his hand, motioning toward the baskets of toys and bassinet at the ready. “When you never plan on being a parent, you let all this pass by without taking notice. You think it’s important that I’m here to see a newborn, so I’ll give it a day.”

“How big of you.” She collected the open magazines, wanting to smack him upside the head with one.

“I’m trying, doll. You should make an attempt.”

“To what?” She set the pile of magazines beside the others.

“To compromise with me.”

Like he’d ever done that in his life. “And what would a compromise look like to you? Split the difference and live in Chicago?”

He laughed. “Can you imagine?”

She refused to smile. “Nope.”

“In order for me to live here, I’d have to relocate the headquarters of almost twenty companies. Think of how many families that would impact.”

Oh, logistics. Kind of like logic, but not. “I’m not asking you to move here. In fact, I don’t think it’s a great idea.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He stared blankly at her, as if he wasn’t the one to start all this.

“We’re not the standard married couple. We’ve never lived together. Trying it now would be awkward.”

He leaned back against the couch like he planned to stay all night. “Awkward how?”

Oh come on. “You haven’t touched me since you found out I was pregnant.”

He didn’t even blink. “We were barely speaking. All weekend. Not exactly the kind of mood that calls for shagging.”

“And then you canceled Portland.” Her pulse kicked up and she studied his features, which revealed nothing. He was good at that.

“Because I’d skipped out on meetings to come here and I have to make up for it. Do you have any idea how many different businesses I’m running?”

“Do you have any idea how little I care about any of that?” He didn’t get it. He just, well, he saw her as another one of those responsibilities, nothing more. After her parents died, she’d been forced to depend on others for everything. That sense of being a burden had never lifted, and she’d never put herself in a position to feel that way again.

“How supportive of you.” He rose from the couch and shook his head. “Everything I am doing is to preserve the inheritance for the children.”

“You don’t have to feed me the company line, Kerr. You were doing all of this before there were children to inherit. You took all this on because you think you should, not because you want to.”

“But there are children now, and it is my duty to pass the estate onto them in better condition than I received it.”

“Him. Only one of them, right?”

He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze. “I’m working to remedy that.”

“I’m sure there is more than enough to go around, if that is what the boys want. There are decades until inheritance becomes an issue. Maybe you’ll get lucky and we’ll have a poet and a musician who want nothing to do with international trade.”

The shadow of a smile glanced his features. “I’ll find a way to make it fair.”

“Fair. How is asking me to move to New York fair?”

“That’s where I am, and I am their father.” He clenched his jaw, giving away his annoyance.

“Your work schedule means you are rarely in one place for any length of time. I don’t want to be alone in New York. We’ll all be happier here, among friends, where they can be kids instead of the heir and the spare to an empire.”

“You’ll make friends wherever you go. Almost every business I run is headquartered in New York.”

“Which is why I’m not asking you to relocate. You married me because you didn’t want to be saddled with someone who depended on you, right? The benefits of marriage without the drawbacks. You’re changing the contract after it’s been signed. You never wanted me in New York before I was pregnant, so there is no reason for me to be there now.”

He closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples. “This is why you pull on your hair.”

“Excuse me?”

“When you’re frustrated.” He looked down at her. “I can see the appeal of pulling my hair out right now.”

“It wouldn’t be a good look.”

“Would you prefer Scotland to New York?”

Now he was just being ridiculous. “Would you prefer to run Kerr Industries or Kerr Textiles?”

“That’s neither here nor there. I have to handle them both. Just like I have to be a father to my children. Anything less would be unfair to you, and to them.”

“I wish you would do what you wanted to do, instead of always doing what you think you’re supposed to.”

“You know what I want, doll?
My
wife and
my
children in
my
home. That’s what I want. How do I make that happen?”

She hated herself for being the person to hurt him, and she was. She could see it in the way his features hardened, the way his body went tall and rigid. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them tight, her lower belly hard against her thighs. The timing of her first pregnancy twinge wasn’t lost on her.